My Ramblings {Comments Welcome}

[Pandora's Box]

To be honest, I never planned on starting one of these on here.

Then I found myself sick, bored, and high off of medication and figured why the hell not. It can be for lots of things.

My first post is both an apology and absence. I am quite content still lurking until I figure just how complicated I should make my request thread. I am very interested to jump in head first, but I've already gotten some PMs that would fall into explicitly 'no' territories. So if I just throw something up, I figure that I'll be shutting a lot of people down. If I make it to the point, I might be shutting myself out of lot of potential. If it is too long, I'll probably put some people to sleep reading it and then the question becomes how to keep their interest?

Anyways, apologies to not getting back to some of the people who have sent me PMs. It seems that I landed on Santa's fuck you list and instead of presents, he brought me the damn flu. Well, actually it was a friend coming down for my husband's surprise party that brought it... but I started showing symptoms on Christmas Eve.

I am on quarantine until 24 hours after no fever and other symptoms. As I mentioned in my introduction thread, I've got a rather large family so holidays usually last for a couple of weeks. Add to that the fact I have a few little cousins who are like my own children to me with birthdays at the end of December and early January and Christmas and family gatherings last into the second week or so of January. So as you can imagine, all those were thrown out the window of my diagnosis. Especially when the doctors at the hospital told me that the flu shot this year was pretty much a bust. I usually never get them anyways because they make me sick, but others in family are all for them. Joke is on them though. They predicted a different strain this year or got something off, so they got a needle for nothing.

I can't even go to get my own cigarettes... which means the husband controls how much I can smoke. I don't think I'm quite ready to let him know that I've been sneaking off and hiding a pack about every other day when he already bitches about me going through almost two a day. So I suffer in some silence from nicotine withdrawals. My six year old is a sadist who tells me I should quit smoking anyways and I wouldn't have to worry about it. I'm worried I'm raising her to be too much like me. A realist. She is right after all. I didn't start back smoking until several years after she was born and then I was hiding it from her for awhile when she started Pre-K but she thinks quitting is easy.

The porcelain god is a greedy son of a bitch. I make regular offerings after I attempt to eat something. Or even drink something. Even when I have nothing on my stomach and vomit up stomach acid before dry heaving myself into near unconsciousness.

A sinus infection adds to the heinousness of my torture. My head is pounding so hard that I can't even sleep it off. The lights of anything electronic hurt my eyes but being on the computer doing something semi-productive is better than wallowing and accomplishing nothing.

Family is being both helpful and unintentionally killing me. Presents are dropped off, a few minutes spent visiting. Large plates of delicious smelling food that I can't, or more correctly... am not willing to attempt to, eat yet taunt me. Things I used to scoff at, like the long standing tradition of new pajamas opened on Christmas Eve, fuzzy socks, and those cheap but cuddly blankets have been my new comfort. Gifts of pedialite (the only thing I can sometimes keep down) and other medicine have been welcome, but were given as a joke.

It sucks because the child probably came down with it too. She picked up a small fever yesterday but isn't as bad off as I am. Hopefully she won't be. She seems to have her dad's immune system where as mine is absolute shit.

So it may take me awhile to get back to PMs and get up a request thread. If I'm never heard from again, assume I died.... I think someone in the hospital room had ebola. Sadly, I am only half joking. When I was being discharged, they were cleaning up blood all the way down the hallway, the waiting area, and even outside where the ER drop off is. The case at the CDC has me paranoid.

 

[Chai]

If I may offer up some advice?

Well first off, my apologies on your sickness. Here in Texas, we like to joke a lot about Ebola. I mean, how can we not -- the rest of the United States has written us off as a bunch of backward, truck-driving rednecks who are complete idiots for binging a case of Ebola back from Africa (only half kidding!). But really, we undstand how scary-serious it is, and I pray to God that's not what you have. It sucks being sick over the holidays, but then at least you know you won't have that post-New Year's flu that everyone seems to get as they start heading back to work/school!

Okay, now about request threads:

My one thought has always been to articulate exactly what it is that you're searching for in a partner. If you don't, you end up getting a lot of requests from people who aren't quite on the same page as you are, and what's the point of getting a lot of requests if you reject 80 percent of them anyway?

I have some of the longest request threads you will probably even see on this site, and I still get a good amount of requests weekly. You can make it long, but you cab also make it interesting both in literary and visual terns. A lot of text can sure scare some people away, but I can almost guarantee that if reading about wanting literacy / detail / creativity in a roleplay scares them away, you probably wouldn't want to roleplay with them anyway. Why?

Because writers who are usually seeking the same thing will read the entire thing. You end up getting a lot more meaningful requests, ones that are completely worth your time. Plus, if you feel as if you're maybe missing out on a couple awesome partners here and there, you can always send them requests! But my point in all this is to tell you that depending on how much you put in your request thread, you can - and will - attract a certain audience. I've always found that longer, more detailed requests threads attract writers who seek longer, more detailed roleplays, and shorter request threads attract both the 'good' and 'bad' (those you have described to be within the explicit no area).

I hope this helps you! And if it doesn't, then I hope you get everything concerning you req thread sorted out anyway

 

[Pandora's Box]

Airamella, thank you very much for both the condolences and the advice about the request thread.

First off, I'll happily say that I am very much better from the first post which to be honest, I only vaguely remember writing at all. I only had a small fever today, some sniffles and coughing, but most important... I got to eat a plate of Christmas leftovers and managed to keep it all down. I never thought two day old, re-heated ham and stuffing could taste like pure bliss. So I consider today a victory on that end.

From one Southerner to another, I know how you feel. When those two missionaries were admitted to Emory University, we were put on that same list. I've never seen Atlanta and the surrounding areas in so much of a panic. I heard rumors of one idiot who wanted to get a group up and literally storm the air base in Catersville where the plane was set to land in some weird form of boycotting their entrance. I'll fully admit that I don't know too much about the disease outside of what a friend who works at Emory has told me; I know how serious it is but pretty damn difficult to transmit, especially in places like the US where sanitation and even early constraints for treatment were very cautionary. Then this thing about the possible mishandling of a live virus sample at the CDC put everyone back into a tizzy. But no, ebola free... probably the woman in the room next to me as well. I had just heard her mention she was down from Atlanta.

Though, I will tell you one of my favorite ebola jokes: "Hey, want to hear an Ebola joke?... Nevermind, it is almost impossible for you to get." :3

As far as the request thread goes, thank you very much for the advice. I've got bits and pieces saved on the Notepad feature. I just have to get it all organized and formatted. Your own looks absolutely great by the way. Mind if I steal some ideas as far as layout goes?

 

[Pandora's Box]

Six Months Later

Hmm... where to start.

This probably will contain some language that isn't suitable.

It's been almost six months since I last posted on BMR. I would apologize to people, but I didn't get into any commitments before I finished getting set up. Still, I guess I can apologize to the people I was planning things with in PMs for not being around.

I had to take a temporary break from the internet and just life in general for a bit. I swear, if I thought I could stand it, I'd write an autobiography and sell it off as fictional. I'm sure everyone has had those moments in life where you just think, "Wow, if I wrote about this, it would make an awesome story but no one would believe it actually happened."

Let's just say that outside of the holidays, which I was an idiot for trying to get started around that time anyways, I had a very high-tech, abusive, stalker of an ex get out of prison. Cops couldn't really do anything since he wasn't technically in violation of the restraining order and he's good enough to cover his tracks. My e-mail address was compromised, my Skype, Facebook, some sites. The last thing I wanted was for him to stumble across here and see me roleplaying out certain fantasies or kinks and get some sort of twisted satisfaction out of it. Or worse, get some ideas from one of the darker things I had in mind.

Anyways, he got put back in prison for a drug charge and assault. Nothing to do with me. So I guess that's good. I'm still more than a bit paranoid about what I put out there for other people to see, which had a bit of residual effect of me not returning as quickly as I would have liked.

My husband also had some health issues going on. Luckily, it isn't anything too serious. Not good, not going to go away, but not serious. For those who care, he works as an electrician and got shocked really badly months and months ago. I'm not talking about sticking a fork in a socket shock, I'm talking about holding power lines, grounded to the... ground, electrical currents flowing through your body for a couple of minutes shocked. Of course, he never tells me these things because he'll know I worry. He was having chest pains and his heart beat would just randomly go off rhythm. We found out he has scar tissue on his heart and in his chest. It isn't bad enough for surgery but he just has to be careful.

Even though everyone says there is no point in worrying, just do what you normally do until you get some answers, don't worry about the things you can't change... we all know that we do it anyways. It's hard to enjoy yourself with so much on your mind.

So... my goal for today is to PM the people I was in talks with and to finish getting my Request thread set up.

 

[Pandora's Box]

Ugh... I'm Dying

Ever lit a cigarette and took a big, after dinner drag? Ever lit it backwards and did it? Then choked on the water you were hoping would help you quit coughing?

FML

Anyways, so, umm... for all the people I'm sending out PMs to, dunno if you'll notice this or not but it is storming here. The wireless card in my laptop already sucks so my connection is crap at the moment and I'll probably be logging off for the night soon. If you get the same PM from me like three times, forgive me please.

P.S. I am still a bit high from inhaling cotton, plastic, and whatever else is in a filter.

To Do List for tomorrow... set up my RP lists and get started on a plot journal... or two. Fandom might need a separate one. Haven't figured that out yet.