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Just so much stupid

Alvis Alendran

Alvis Alendran

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Joined
Jan 14, 2009
Location
Canada
I honestly didn't know where else to put this, and I feel it must be shared.

I work at a call center, for a cell phone company. There's a policy up here that states when you reach $50 overage on your cell data, we cut you off, unless you agree to keep paying, but we let you know. The following call actually happened.

Me: Thank you for calling [blank], My name is Alvis, how can I help you?
Caller: You gotta unlock my phone! I can't get any data!
Me: Okay, I cna certainyl help you, I just need to get your account open. ()Ask verification questions, get needed answers) Okay, so it looks like your data was shut off because you are at $50 in overages.
Caller: What?! Why am I being billed that much?
Me: Well, it likely has a lot to do with the fact you have used 5 GB when you only have a 1 GB plan.
Caller: Oh. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. But you can unlock the data, right?
Me: Well, yes, but you do realize that if I do, you'll be liable for all of the data overages right? And you've still got more than two weeks left in your bill cycle?
Caller: But I need my data! How else am I supposed to keep in touch with people?
Me: ...sir? How exactly are you keeping in touch with them right now?
Caller: Oh, I've got this great facebook app! I message them from there! So you see why I need the data! How else am I going to get ahold of people.
Me: (face is now in one hand) Sir? What device are you using to do this?
Caller: Uh, my new iPhone 6.
Me: If you drop the I, what is left in that name?
Caller: Uh...phone. (silence stretches on, nearly a minute of it) Oh. Right. I guess I can just call them, right?
Me: You also have unlimited texting.
Caller: Really? That's awesome! Why didn't you guys tell me about that before? That's so much easier than facebook! Forget the data! I've got this now! Thanks man! (Caller then hung up)

After this, I put my self in wrap up, and sat there, face in hand for a few minutes, until my supervisor came by to see if I was okay. I explained hte situation. My supervisor told me to take a few more minutes.
 
Holy sweet fucking hera....seriously...
I can see why you called it so much stupid. Just. Wow.
 

Reads .... blinks ..... laughs

Oh wow, Alvis. You weren't kidding!
That ... is horribly stupid!

Shakes head

Yeah ....

This just ... wow.

I have few words for this.
​
 
No one calls anymore...I have a phone but get more texts than phone calls.

Except telemarketers, but I never want to talk to them
 
My brain hurts after reading that. Seriously?! He couldn't just call his friends and have an actual conversation? and he didn't even know he could text? I swear, people are getting dumber when it comes to technology. -_-

In college one of my teachers talked about a woman who was outside of her car crying. When he asked her what was wrong, she said that her car keys battery died and she couldn't press the button to unlock her doors. He then suggested putting the key into the keyhole, opening the door and turning her car on so that she can go to the store next door to see if they had watch batteries. She looked at him blankly and did as he suggested and said "oh, I didn't know that's what the keyhole was for."
 
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Oh, you are in the same business as myself then. Well I too work for a contractor who was hired by someone who knows a guy at a phone company.

Anyway. Yes, I believe one of my favorites was "You need to activate this phone for me right now." and me going. "Ma'am that phone has been flagged as lost or stolen, I can't do anything."

rinse and repeat for 20 minutes.
 
Not quite as stupid in the same way, but I still feel compelled to share...

Me: Thank you for calling [blank], My name is Alvis, how can I help you?
Caller: Hey, I just took a look at my last few bills, and I think they're a little high.
Me: Okay, I can go over them with you and see if we can't find out what's causing this, adn make sure we fix it. (Authenticaing exchange goes here)
Caller: So what month are you looking at.
Me: Um...the most recent one. (I can see the totals for the last three months, all of them identical at $708.90) I'm just going to look a little farther back, okay?
Caller: Yeah go for it. Any ideas what's causing this?
Me: ...yeah I think I've got it. Looks like you're on one of our older plans, so you have the old data overage rates.
Caller: What do I pay for that?
Me: $0.05 a megabyte.
Caller: Oh. Am I using that much data? And how much is on my plan?
Me: You're using about 28 gigabytes. And your plan supports...well...one.
Caller: Oh. So why do all the bills line up like this? They all seem the same for the last three months.
Me: Six actually. But we cap the amount of data we bill you for at $500.
Caller: Oh. Well I guess that makes sense. Thanks for clearing that up!
Me: Sir...we, uh, have a 30 GB plan you know.
Caller: Really? What'll that run me?
Me: $250 a month.
Caller: Really! Fuck me, that's way better than what I've been paying! Yeah, sign me the fuck up for that! Can I get that set up right now?
Me: Yeah. I've been waiting to tell you about it, so I just have to press the big red button that says 'Go'.
Caller: Hit it my man! Thanks for fixing that for me! Much appreciated!

I spent time with my face in my hands. Wishing I could afford to just piss away $3000 in six months on fucking data overage charges on a phone.
 
I work in a call centre too although it's helping people with their TV's when they're experiencing interference. I once had a gentleman screaming at me telling me it was all my fault and that he was a 'technical expert' and he knows exactly what he was talking about when it came to me trying to instruct him of what to do. I proceeded to ask him where his aerial was located (which is usually on the roof or in someone's loft) and he told me that it was "obviously in the remote control, how else do you think I can control the flipping television!". Such technical expertise right there!
 
Also work in a Call Centre/Help Desk type situation, I get this type of call a lot -

Caller : Hi, my code isn't working can you help me? I'm at XXX site and my name is Mary Smith

Me : Can you move away from those alarms that you set off, they are really loud and I can't hear you. That's better, sure, hmmm.. Mary, it seems your manager hasn't set you up with a code, you will need to get them to do that as I can't allow you stay at work without it.

Caller : Oh, last time this happened, I called your department and they just let me in. It was 3 months ago.

Me : So you knew you didn't have a code 3 months ago and you didn't sort it out back then? Whoever let you in shouldn't have Mary, you will need to leave.

Mary : Oh, so I can't stay here? I am late for a meeting and just have to pick something up quickly, I will go in anyway and get it.

Me : And I will call the police if you do Mary. You will need to leave unfortunately.

Mary : Oh, *cries, sniffles* is there someone you can call? Should I try my code?

Me : You don't have a code Mary, I can try calling one of your managers if they want to authorize you, but it is 6am are you sure you want me to tell them that you don't have a code and have had this issue 3 months ago and never fixed it then?

Mary : Oh, I will just leave then *cries, sniffles* Should I put my code into the panel?

Me : You don't have a code to put into the panel Mary, yes if you don't want me to call your manager it is better you leave, ok, thanks for calling.

*Bangs my head on desk*

My other favorite is when they fuck something up and can't understand why they will have to wait for the Tech or Tradesman to attend to fix their issue, or when they call about absolute crap on the emergency line but when it is an emergency they send an email 3 days after the incident has occurred.
 
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