Sexual Preference

[Rudolph Quin]

So, I saw something on Tumblr and I wanted to get your guys take on it.

There are over 526 million black women in the world, all with different appearances, and your racist ass is going to say not liking black women is a ‘preference’, when the only damn thing they all got in common physically is their blackness? Sure, honey.

Yes, and all homosexual men are misogynists.

Now, bar the fact that sexual preference is not really something you can control, there is something very offensive and whiny about the tone of the above message. Like, no matter what, everyone is owed a chance at a date with you and for you to pick and choose based on different criteria of what you do and don't find attractive is "wrong". Not only that but I have to come up with viable reasons for not wanting to pursue someone romantically/sexually. Which is bullshit. I can say "that guy's nose is too big" and have that be that, if I wanted to. It's MY life, MY personal criteria and it has nothing to do with how I get along with people on a day-to-day basis of interaction. This is deeper relationship stuff. I could base the criteria on what the stars freaking tell me and STILL be allowed to make that choice.

What do you guys think? Are you allowed to define your own personal criteria for who you do and don't want to date and not have to defend that choice? Or is everyone owed a chance equally to win your heart?

 

[☢☢Zombies Galore☢☢]

I am precisely the opposite of the person that the above comment was addressing. For whatever reason, I like dark skin. A lot. If you took two women who were otherwise exactly the same and one was black and one was white/Asian/Latino/Native/purple/whatever, I would pick the black lady ten times out of ten.

I don’t know why. I think most people don’t.

Sexual preferences are very primitive, somehow hardwired into us as though we imprint on a smattering of characteristics. For instance, I’m not really attracted to women over 5’2” or so. I still think they’re pretty when they are, but again, stick a 5’2” woman next to a 5’3” woman and, all other things being equal, I’d go for the shorter one every single time.

There’s literally no reason I can articulate over why I like short women or why I like black women. They just… Do something for me. Couldn’t tell you why.

To answer your questions: I am entirely allowed to define my own criteria for whom I date and I don’t have to defend that choice. Neither, in my opinion, do you or anyone else. It’s a deeply personal thing. It’s private. It’s secret. It’s uncouth and crude to discuss in most situations.

Everyone is owed a chance equally to win my heart: but my preferences will still remain the same even if all women did the exact same things to win my affection. I would be attracted to the short black woman over the tall blonde, even if they were otherwise the same person.

That’s who I am.

 

[MellowYellow]

So, I saw something on Tumblr

Oh nooooooooo

But, yeah, the kind of people you're attracted to really isn't something that can't be helped. In many cases it's just something you are either born with or something that was shaped at a young age.

I'm pretty open personally, really I think I'd take any ethnic woman over one from my own group (Because being white growing up in a pasty country like mine leaves you wanting more). I think that's my reason anyway- as Zombies said above, your preference is something you can't quite put your finger on right away.

Really I don't think it's racist to not feel attraction to a certain race (or individuals of a certain race) unless you're in the Klan. You can't FORCE attraction.

 

[gelidAtelier]

If racism didn't exist, preferring women of darker skin color would be no different than having a preference for eye color.

Since it does, people are going to claim racist is behind one thing or another. And they won't listen to you if you have certain reasons why you have such a preference.

I find it tiresome how unwilling people are to really communicate honestly.

 

[Ms_Muffintops]

I admit I do to a degree have racial preferences. But by NO means does it mean I am racist. At all. I do not think I am better or more superior than any other race. And it doesn't mean I can't be attracted to people of other races at all, I just tend to lean towards others more often.

There are different rules with attraction.

 

[DoneWriting]

Isn't attraction based on a genetic level to some degree? Not to say that a woman and a man will be pulled magnetically together because they are the same race or whatnot, but I believe in most animals attraction is based purely on making the race (in this case the human race) stronger as a whole. Isn't that illustrated by a man finding a woman who's hips are wider more attractive than another woman with slimmer hips or a woman that is attracted to tall/big men? This is just speaking of physical attraction prior to any mental interaction.

In the end I think you can't really help whom you're attracted to, and that it should never be categorized as racism. It sucks that ignorant people can boil just about everything down to race now though.