Probably weird

[jackieDemon]

First off, I'm sorry if this isn't in the right thread, but I wasn't sure where I should put it. If this shouldn't go here, I'd be happy to move it, if there was a way for uhm me to move it.

Is it weird that I really want for my girlfriend to have sex with someone else? I don't know why, but there's just something that's so arousing about her having sex with someone else, Male, female, groups, pairs, whatever. I just want her to sleep around as much as possible.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want her to put herself in danger, her using protection and staying safe is the most important thing to me. Danger doesn't do anything to excite me. It's her being pleased by other people that does.

I really want to do something about this, but I'm just not sure how to bring this up. We've talked about polygamy before, and almost broke up because of it. We both wanted an open relationship, but she didn't want me to be with anyone else. We've gotten a lot closer since then, and I'm not sure if that's a factor, but I'm sure it is. How should I bring it up? What should I say, or would it be better for me not to say anything at all?

 

[Rave]

Hm, this might be moved to the Bluemoon Academy section. I'm not sure.

Either way, I am so out of my depth on this one. With the people I date, especially if it's someone that I have openly realized I'm in-love with, I get extremely territorial. It's very instinctive and basic, I'd even call it primal, but it's as simple of a concept as 'Don't touch what's mine'. So the fact that you enjoy the idea of her having relations with others, is a Fetish as far as I can understand.

I'm honestly not sure what to tell you, because that urge is the polar opposite of how I feel about my woman. But if she's so resistant to the idea, perhaps it should just be simply kept a Fetish or you might risk your closeness and relationship. If you think she's not comfortable with the idea, you have to weight your options. Is satisfying that urge more important to you than being with her? It certainly doesn't seem like the case. Either way, being open is never a bad thing. I'd say sit down and talk about it at least. Honesty is your best route here.

 

[Vic Rattlehead]

Unlike Rave here I have the emotional depth of a brick wall, so I'm better abled to answer you *just kidding Rave please don't beat me up). While I personally don't see getting off to watching your girlfriend or the girl your currently fucking, its not the weirdest thing in the world. It could be you're into voyeurism and competition (though I never understood how watching another man fucking your girl rev up your sex drive). Granted I'm just throwing darts at the board here, though what I said does make some sense at least to me. Voyeurism would explain wanting to watch your girlfriend being fucked and I don't know how far you want to take being cuckolded, but I guess it could make you want to do better.

 

[Trygon]

You should probably downgrade your 'relationship' to fuckbuddies.

 

[Vic Rattlehead]

Or convince yourself and your girlfriend, that having her watch you have sex with other women really turns you on.

 

[EmeraldKitten32]

Not sure it's as weird as you think it is. My husband is the same way.

The issue we've always had is that everyone has a different idea of what an "open relationship" is. T me, it's the agreement between a couple that having sex with other people isn't cheating. I don't go out looking for boyfriends or girlfriends, I just know that if I happen to have sex with someone else it's a non-issue. But, if I were to spend time, money and emotional resources on someone not my husband, I'm cheating then.

But, really it comes down to what the two of you think works best for you. That involves communication. So, you should probably be telling her what you're telling all of us. But, my main point was that it's notas uncommon of a fetish/lifestyle as you may think. Hope that helped.

 

[Lily2988]

It's a pretty common fetish actually.

My exbf was very turned on by the idea, but then crazy jealous and miserable if I gave him the slightest reason to be.

I think it makes sense biologically, studies show that people have really intense sex if they think the other person might have cheated in their absence. However, it's playing with fire. Some people claim to make it work, but I can it destroying a relationship even if you both were into it beforehand. Worse if one person is not totally on board.