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"Laws" of Attraction

How does romance develop for you?

  • I believe it does have to start with some physical attraction before an emotional bond is created.

    Votes: 6 42.9%
  • I believe it can start with an emotional bond that grows into a physical attraction.

    Votes: 6 42.9%
  • It doesn't need any physical attraction.

    Votes: 1 7.1%
  • It doesn't need any emotional connection.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Other.

    Votes: 1 7.1%

  • Total voters
    14

Ms_Muffintops

Supernova
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Location
Drury Lane
I wasn't sure which section of the forum I should put this into, so I thought I'd shoot for this area. This topic is based around how attraction works - be it for you or for how you feel no matter who you are, how attraction works for people, humans, etc.

Basically all throughout my life I've been told that it all goes as such...

1. You meet this person.
2. You happen to notice that they are attractive.
3. It helps drive you into talking to them, you become friends or just acquaintances.
3. A little bond or connection is made, and the attraction grows.
4. An emotional connection develops
5. And thus romance blossoms.

But steps 3-5 can't happen if you take out #2.

I was just curious what other peoples thoughts were on this? How does it work for you? Do you think this is true or do you feel it is possible to happen through other means?

One thing that comes to mind for me that kind of negates this is demisexuality which I strongly identify with, and is very evident by my level of physical attraction in ratio with my chemistry and connection to the person. The stronger the connection I have to the person the more physically attracted I am to them and typically I can't even imagine having sex with someone, no matter how attractive they are, until I have developed a romantic attachment to them.
 
I don't believe you have to have a physical attraction to someone in order to fall in love with them.

I know I have had a few highschool crushes where I met a person, grew a small relationship with them, and then noted how attractive I found them physically at a later date. Now do looks help a bit? Of course, but they're not a deal breaker, it may mean I notice how attractive they are sooner rather than later. I don't really believe that love starts physically. You have to like a person before you can actually learn to love them in my book. Granted, this coming from the guy who is 0 for 4 in his relationships thus far, so take that as you may.
 
I think it can happen in various different ways -

1/ Instant Attraction: Rare but that moment you see someone and know there is something about them and they feel the same way about you, you start to talk and it is like you have always known each other.

2/ Physical Attraction: You think someone is attractive and want to know more about them, if you gel it goes further.

3/ Emotional Attraction: More of a slow burn, you might know each other at work or via mutual friends, as you spend time together and get to know each other you realize you like one another, during this process you usually start to notice that they are more physically attractive than you originally thought. So in this case Physical Attraction is still part of the equation although it happens because you are seeing this person differently due to your newfound emotional bond.

That is how I see it anyway in most cases.
 
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