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Non-Con: The Fascination with Rape RP.

Mr Quixotic

The Lowest Form Of Wit
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Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Location
Australia
I've been flicking back and forth on this thread for a while, wondering if I should throw in my 2 cents worth or not.

From what I've read online (and I did read quite a bit, as when I was a purely IM player, I had one long-term partner who only did rape roleplays, so it got me a little curious), rape fantasies are extremely common, and occur in over 50% of women, and there's varying reasons attributed to them. From the exhilaration gained by having a complete lack of Power/Control, to Sexual blame avoidance, to the fantasy of being so desirable that the male cannot go without 'needing to have her'. Regardless of the reasons for it, rape fantasies are considered a normal part of female sexuality, and nothing 'unusual'. Roleplay is just a safe way to play those fantasies out.

In the case of that particular partner, I found it interesting that she was brought up in a strict family with high expectations, whose parents insisted she attend medical school and become a doctor (which she did) when that's the last thing she wanted to do. My amateur pop psychology attributed part of the reasons for her (sometimes extreme) fantasies to that upbringing - a way to avoid the responsibilities that those expectations placed on her, for a while.

As far as any roleplay rape fantasy being 'consensual', I think that depends on your perspective. The writer consents to them, but the roleplay character herself does not.

Rape and BDSM, as far as I'm concerned should not even be mentioned in the same sentence. They're two completely different beasts. One is, in real-life, one of the most heinous and despicable acts imaginable. The other is agreed to, including any limits and/or with a safe word, between consenting adults. It may just be my somewhat pedantic mind when it comes to definitions, but I also see a large difference between pure 'rape' and 'non-con'. I'm always very careful to ask, do you really mean rape, if someone comes to me with a scenario or request.

As for my personal preferences? I enjoy the odd rape roleplay. It allows me to play out some of my own more twisted fantasies, and to carry out acts that live in the darker recesses of most peoples minds, but would never see the light of day in real-life. From my end the main component of that is probably the concept of being 'omnipotent' and taking complete control over another person - to selfishly not need be concerned about any needs/wants other than my own, and to be able to satisfy them in any way I desire, without fear of consequence.

I don't obtain the same mental kick from a BDSM or Dom/Sub scenario. Due to my own strong need/value of independence and personal autonomy, a natural inclination to do the exact opposite of what someone tells, or expects, me to do, and a complete inability to comprehend ever wanting to be subservient, or to willingly hand over my autonomy in any way, I find it impossible to be intellectually (for me that also means sexually) attracted to, or interested in someone who desires to submit. In fact, seeing/sensing that desire in another person will immediately switch off any interest I may have had in exerting dominance over them. Hence, whilst I'm interested in some aspects of BDSM (from a dominant perspective), I have none in the Dom/Sub dynamic itself.

It's the process of taking/gaining control over another who doesn't want to give it up, and the challenge - whether it be phsycial or mental - that involves, which interests me more than the exertion of control itself. It's that very lack of it being consensual which attracts me to rape roleplays over Master/Slave or Dom/Sub scenarios.

What actually bothers me more than the number of rape or non-con threads is the abundance of 'female as helpless victim' and 'female as nothing more than sexual object' requests.
 
V

Vic Rattlehead

Guest
But doesn't the whole 'female as helpless victim' and 'female as nothing more than sexual object', play into the whole sexual blame avoidance and the fantasy of being so desirable that the male cannot go without 'needing to have her?
 

Mr Quixotic

The Lowest Form Of Wit
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Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Location
Australia
Vic Rattlehead said:
But doesn't the whole 'female as helpless victim' and 'female as nothing more than sexual object', play into the whole sexual blame avoidance and the fantasy of being so desirable that the male cannot go without 'needing to have her?
It can play into it, but not necessarily. I don't see how one can avoid sexual blame, when their entire persona is based upon seeing themselves as a sexual object.

Also, when I say "female as helpless victim", I don't mean solely in a sexual sense. One doesn't need to be a 'victim' in order to become a victim.

I'm happy to chat/clarify my thoughts further, if you wanted to message/PM, but doing so on here would probably send the thread off in a completely different direction than what the OP intended.
 

MissClover

Super-Earth
Joined
Jan 9, 2014
Location
USA
I am going to throw this out there, and I am sure some people might view my thoughts on it as odd, but I have a different appeal to the rape scene... or at least from what I can tell. I read the previous posts and I don't think anyone had these same feelings towards rape.

First, let me get the dirty part out of the way. I have been raped, as well as molested on different occasions. I won't go into details, I just want you to know that I have experienced it, so don't claim I don't know how it really feels. . .
With that being said I will be honest in my thoughts of rape. Personally for me it is a turn on and I don't find it as a disgusting act. This applies in roleplays as well as in real life. For me I believe it turns me on because of several factors that many people touched basis on, or even went into depth about.

First and most appealing factor: it is wrong, I am supposed to hate it, but my body reacts in a way that says otherwise. There is something so raw and arousing to me that the body reacts as if aroused, whether it is or is not consensual. I know some girls claim to not get wet while getting raped, but it wasn't the case for me. Yes in the beginning it may not be smooth sailing, but in the end...the body responds...
That also brings the idea of accidentally getting aroused during the act when you know you shouldn't be since it is rape that appeals to me...

The second factor deals with the female being the victim. Females are supposed to be innocent, sweet, and not naughty in nature... but deep down, we are just as horny! But we have to play a certain role in society to be acceptable and not a slut. Deep down, rape for me gets down to the animalistic arousal in us.. if we let go of standards and fears, there wouldn't be as much rape or the desire for the fantasy of rape.

Of course another factor is the loss of control in a situation. I personally am a switch, but border closer to being a dominant person. Sometimes I want to be dominated, but I want it taken from me. I don't like giving it up easily. This is where rape can satisfy. Rape is always non consensual, so it is truly a loss of power. The whole BDSM world is consensual, so even a rape scene is never truly rape, and the sub still has control... hence the use of safe words. Rape is the most ultimate way to have your power stripped from you.

Also in some way, there is the humiliation aspect of rape that can be arousing, but I believe it was discussed better by previous people. I am not much into humiliation, but I can see the appeal in it.

Now with all this said I want to note that I am not taking strong violence into the picture. To me there is a difference between brutally beating someone then raping them versus just raping someone... I don't get turned on by someone beating the shit out of someone.

So, maybe I am just being too honest with my animalistic side, but rape is arousing to me whether it is real or roleplay. So I can see the interest in roleplaying it for others. It is probably a deep embedded desire we are forced to deny, push away and hide... after all, we are just mammals...

But maybe that's just me. Lol.
 

Xerana

Moon
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Jul 28, 2014
Location
Australia
Personally for me, its the feeling of powerlessness, thats why some couples *ahem* myself sometimes practice psuedo-rape with their partners.
Nowadays, alot of women are becoming career driven, usually due to how women are treated in society, they usually must harden themselves and strive to be better than the men around them in order to earn their respect, in turn being in control all the time can be extremely stressful. You'd be surprised that letting go of that can relieve alot of stress, but that probably falls underneath dom/sub
Also, many imagine their would be rapists as someone physically attractive, and forget its something completely different.
 

gelidAtelier

Super-Earth
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
I know that for some people, they feel empowered to be in a situation that simulates non-consent, but to which they actually consented and have to power to say "no" and stop it at any time.
 

Rave

Star
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Location
Land Before Time
Upon reflection regarding all these answers, there seems to be a common consensus between people who enjoy it. That being 'Loss of control' is basically what turns you on and what makes Rape RP appealing to you.

I find this defense or justification a bunch of crap.

The thing is, there are 1000 different ways your character can have a loss of control without actually being raped. BDSM can be a prime example. Get tied up. Get handcuffs and let the other person do all the work. Hell, have an RP where your character can pretend to be sleeping and her partner has sex with her then. Anything like that is better than "Hey kidnap me character and rape me plz'.

If you want to respond by saying that by 'Loss of control' you meant loss of control over her fate rather than her actions, then that's not a good defense or an answer I can accept. You're basically still saying that what turns you on, is the vile and beastly action known as Rape. Not loss of control.

Mind boggling.
 

Mr Quixotic

The Lowest Form Of Wit
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Dec 14, 2012
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Australia
Well, Rave. Luckily no here is asking for, or needs, your approval of their fantasies. As stated on one of my previous posts on this thread, rape is a considered by psychologists and sexual health experts to be a very common, and normal, fantasy. I'd be more concerned about those who seemingly can't separate fantasy from reality.
 

Rudolph Quin

Mistaken for some sort of scoundrel
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Aug 2, 2009
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here
Seriously is this an actual topic of discussion or is this just rave's personal "need to convince me of a thing" thread? I've seen entry of answers that have more to do with the taboo nature of rape and a true loss of responsibility and control rather than "they just didn't want to be in control". The fact that you're "rejecting" answers that explain peoples personal fetishes and desires is uncalled for.
 
B

Broomhandle45

Guest
Well, this conversation is pretty much dead with Rave's response anyway, but I'd like to point something out here that I'm sure will be an issue at one point or another again:

Disagreeing with the answers presented to you in a place provided to discussion when it's basically 'Nope, I don't get it' when there have been a number of answers trying to explain it/justify it/insert whatever word you want here is pretty much the opposite of what BMA is SUPPOSED to be about. I personally have no desire to warn/waggle my finger at people who simply disagree, but please, for the sake of everything peaceful and holy, disagree RESPECTFULLY.

And I don't mean 'I disagree respectfully, but you're an idiot and here's why' I mean 'I don't really understand it, still. Maybe I just don't like it myself.' when people have been trying their hardest to help you see their point of view. You don't have to agree to that point, but acknowledging that there is a different look from what you know/want to know/are familiar with, certainly helps the atmosphere of BMA more than telling everyone their personal fetishes are a bunch of crap.

If any of you wish to continue to engage in this line of discussion in a way that was done before, by all means! But that's my two cents on the matter, and I hope this place can be a continued spot of discussion about serious topics in a safe, relatively stress free area.
 
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Rave said:
Upon reflection regarding all these answers, there seems to be a common consensus between people who enjoy it. That being 'Loss of control' is basically what turns you on and what makes Rape RP appealing to you.
This is okay. It's a statement of what Rave has perceived.

I find this defense or justification a bunch of crap.
This toes the line. On the one hand, passion has its place and can be a good, invigorating thing. On the other hand it's somewhat antagonistic.

The thing is, there are 1000 different ways your character can have a loss of control without actually being raped. BDSM can be a prime example. Get tied up. Get handcuffs and let the other person do all the work. Hell, have an RP where your character can pretend to be sleeping and her partner has sex with her then.
This is okay, too, because it displays a different viewpoint and other options.

Anything like that is better than "Hey kidnap me character and rape me plz'.
This is not okay because it implies that people who are into noncon RPs are stupid.

If you want to respond by saying that by 'Loss of control' you meant loss of control over her fate rather than her actions, then that's not a good defense or an answer I can accept. You're basically still saying that what turns you on, is the vile and beastly action known as Rape. Not loss of control.
This is a perfect example of a straw man argument. This is not okay, it's a logical fallacy and we know the community can and does do better than this.
 

Rave

Star
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Location
Land Before Time
While I may have gotten a little...overly passionate trying to voice my thoughts, I certainly wasn't trying to demean or insult anybody. I understand why it might have come off that way, and I apologize, I suppose I just got carried away with my opinion.

The whole debate ended up shifting from finding answers to aggressive debate which was not my intention but it happened anyway.

Regardless of whether I can justify it internally or not, I'll just be ending this thread now. I'll also request that a mod can officially close it if possible. There is not much said that hasn't already been said as it is, and there's no need for more drama.
 

TruthOrDare

Planetoid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Location
Canada
Alrighty... Why is non-con popular?

Rape is extremely taboo, points there to the crowds who are attracted to things that are morally questionable or outright wrong. (The forbidden fruit is all the sweeter.)

Rape can occur from any entity against any other entity, meaning it's a universal act that can be done by anyone of any sexuality, increasing the potential proliferation of the trait. Ergo, target potential for those who enjoy it is "nearly everyone". (Comparable to sexuality: There are some straight people, there are some homosexuals, there are very few who are bisexual. All of them could derive enjoyment from rape.)

Rape is one of the most abusive acts imaginable (masochism) and at the same time acts as a power fantasy for those who crave taking power from others.

Often, rape goes hand in hand with "non-con becoming con", ergo rough sex, or some admittedly odd form of "soft sex". Meaning the term itself has variable stages between softcore fantasy and hardcore fantasy.

So, understandable, knowing this, it shouldn't be too surprising that non-con is a popular one, seeing as it comes in multiple forms and can stretch across every sexuality there is.

Personally? I enjoy it, as a fantasy. It's an escape from normality into the mindset of something I never want to be, but which morbidly intrigues me. That same kind of morbid fascination would drive a similar interest in, say, a film or TV show that follows a serial killer, or a contract murderer. The reason some people really get upset by it though seems to be the perception that rape is a special kind of evil, (which I fully agree it is mind you), and don't understand why some people would want to explore it.

Well, personally, I'm not sure why one would go into a world of infinite possibilities such as role playing, where they can write anything they want--a fantasy universe full of unique and interesting species, or a sci-fi universe with all manner of mystery--and choose to write about... High school. Not even a magical high school, no, just a regular high school. Where they then go and have completely regular, vannila sex. No twist or anything.

Now, that doesn't make them wrong, or inferior. That's their fantasy, they have all rights to explore a fantasy I consider fairly boring, as I have all rights to explore a taboo one. So long as we never act upon our fantasies in the real world, they're safe. Weird? Certainly. Dangerous? No.
 
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