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The Darker Side of Life (LadyYunaFFX2 & littlerooster's 1x1)

LadyYunaFFX2

LadyYunaFFX2

Pulsar
Joined
Nov 1, 2012
Location
Boone, NC

A weary sigh passed the young Native American's lips. She'd been staring at a screen; the one belonging to her laptop in fact. On it was a web site; but not just any place the more typical people would begin to visit. It was supposed to be a place to roleplay, chat, both even if one was bold enough about BDSM. To say she was nervous by this point was an understatement.

And yet, the twenty-one year old had been contemplating on topics like these ever since having learned of the concepts. It'd started when she went for her Major in Psychology. One of her assignments had been to read "Fifty Shades of Grey" and do quite the essay upon it. Not only that, she had to explain and analyze the mindsets of Christian and Anastasia.

From what she could tell, Ana had been reckless .. but she had still wanted to be introduced to the world of BDSM. Several other books, Shania had found, hinted that Anastasia wasn't the only woman with this train of thought. In fact, it was apparently common for many females to want to be dominated, disciplined, and more.

But why?

The question had been repeating in her mind for months now. And she had yet to get an answer. So the best way, she had figured, was to see for herself.

But isn't this ... risky?

That reply came in the form of not really. After all, this was just something she was seeing about online. If worst came to worst, she could just stop logging on .. right? It all seemed so simple but the recent college graduate knew it was anything but that.

A deep sigh left her lips as her fingernails tapped against the keyboard. "... You're not gonna learn unless you try." She mused to herself, giving a firm and determined nod. Oh she was nervous; no doubts about that. But really, staring at the screen wouldn't help her figure this out any faster.

So she clicked the "Register" button and signed herself up. It was probably a foolish move, but she had used her real first name. Shania had never really used forums much if ever before, partly due to failing to come up with more creative names. Ah well ... it was still a vague name all the same.

There were tons of other people with the name Shania. To her, it didn't mean anyone could pinpoint where she was located, which exact person she was behind the screen. And it wasn't like she was going to ever meet any of these people. Or at least she didn't think so.

Moving a few strands of raven hair away, Shania let her hazel eyes begin to navigate around the new web site. "Introductions ... hm. Seems like the easiest way to start, I suppose." She decided, clicking on the respective tab.

Her hand trembled ever so slightly before finally landing upon the "Create Thread" button. Glancing up in thought for a few moments, she soon began to type up the following message:

Hello all,
So ... pardon me as I'm not overly good with these. My real first name is the same as my user name; Shania. After having studied and been somewhat introduced to .... BDSM and similar topics, I've finally mustered up the courage to join a site that encourages and better explains the concepts.

I'm twenty-one .. just finished college recently. I do have work part-time so I will be on and off every now and again. But while I do remain here, I hope to enjoy my stay.

-Shania

Rereading it over a few times for good measure, a content nod left her head. A small chuckle couldn't help but leave her lips. Would anyone seriously pay heed to this, let alone herself? Part of her said no and yet ... another argued she was being silly. The fear of being ignored could maybe exist if there were almost no members.

But as it was, this site had appeared to be rather popular. So of course someone would probably see. The real question was what would happen when they did?

Her head quickly shook and after taking a deep breath, Shania hit "Submit", making her official entrance onto the site. Her head fell against the back of her chair as she gazed up to the ceiling once again.

... What in the hell did you just do?

Not that she'd forgotten but really, she did seem like the last person on Earth to ever go through with such a task. Even though she was legal to drink and smoke, she'd never done so, never touched drugs, never gone to parties. Shania was like the perfect girlfriend; or so she'd been told.

So why was a goody-goody like herself bothering at all?

Because unfortunately, she was too damn curious for her own good. Also, she did tire slightly - okay very - of always being naive. While Shania didn't know all the answers to life and how it worked, she had noted one thing throughout the years.

Life wasn't always fair and happy. In fact, it could get really dark and grim sometimes. She couldn't hide from those parts forever and that had been another reason she'd done this at all. It was a way to explore the more dark sides of life ... and yet do so in a safe manner. No harm could come from that, right?

None she saw, not with having been able to take all the proper precautions. Now, however, it was time for her to play the waiting game. While doing that, however, she continued to navigate around the page, seeing all the different forums and subforums, even reading some of them to get a better feel for this new site.
 
Ethan http://www.fansshare.com/gallery/photos/11468196/stephen-amell-arrow-cw-new-york-comic-con/ had managed somehow to get home, his eyes were streaming with tears as he negotiated the busy highway that led to his home on the outer suburbs of town. He had been at work and his online love Laura had just dumped him, it was long distance and they had never met, this didn't make it any less real for Ethan, to Ethan it was as real as any love he ever had, of course he had only ever had one real girlfriend, she cheated on him after 2 weeks, it took him a lot to open up to a woman and when she cheated he retreated right back inside his mind where he dwelled quite happily.

Ethan had grown up with rather peculiar over protective parents, over protective in the sense that they protected him from the outside world but not themselves. They were abusive in their own way and he never really did develop that social instinct that most of us seem to have. Sure, he could function well enough but in terms of getting close and developing relationships, well it just wasn't going to happen for Ethan the way it did for anyone else.

He would watch others while he was growing up and just be astounded at how fluid they made it all appear, he couldn't do that, even when he would try and be like them, there was always some block, some wall that prevented him from really connecting, he forever felt like an outsider.

His teachers and relatives would tell him to just be yourself, the trouble was, he was being himself when he was quiet and insular and no one seemed to like that.

He felt it could only be that he was different in some way, so alone at home he started to lift weights, makeshift ones at first, bricks and whatnot, but as he got older he started using real ones and became quite strong muscular. This attracted women of course but his insular nature prevented him from having great success, he seemed to like keeping that wall up, of course there was good reason for that, having been beaten as a child for talking and emotionally abused for showing emotions he was in permanent lock down mode.

He did crave company though albeit at a distance and having spent so much time alone reading books and dreaming he was quite good at creating personas and stories to go with them. He wasn't very ethical at first, he would join online dating sites, he loved the story of Cyrano De Bergarac, the man who felt different due to his nose so he had a better look man recite poetry to his the woman he loved in the hopes that she would see him somehow as more than a man with a big nose but rather as one who could create great romance.

So he joined these sites and posted fake photos, now Ethan was a good looking guy, but the fake photos further helped to insulate him and as he chatted to these women he could be braver, if they rejected him, it wasn't really him, it was this fake persona, he liked the power this gave him, the protection it afforded him.

The problem was it never lasted long, sooner or later these women wanted to meet and he was never able to without revealing his lie, well, a couple of times he was honest with them and they, despite admitting they had great chats with him still rejected him because he didn't appeal to their tastes in appearance or something. Seriously! What these women want???!!

Laura was different though, he started with a lie to her as well, but he felt a real connection with her and yes, she was in another country and yes they may never meet but that was hardly the point, and yet it was the whole point, he liked the connection at a distance feeling, the way they could chat so freely and openly. He came clean to her after a couple of weeks and she forgave him, she got him and they were an online couple for 2 years, but then even she grew impatient, she wanted physicality, she wanted sex and to hold him and to be held and she had ended it.

For a couple of weeks Ethan moped about, surfing the net, looking at porn and then he stumbled on it, Online Role Play! The more he read the more intrigued he became, like these people wanted him to lie! They wanted him to create alternate personas! That was the whole point!

He signed up, not knowing what to expect. So, you place a request thread, sure he could do that.

"Looking for PsychologicallyRole Plays, any topic considered. PM me to chat"

He didn't know what else to write and he wanted to keep it open, he looked about the site and noticed a thread also from a newbie, Shania, she looked nervous, Ethan had a funny way of detecting people's feelings via the net, he did it better through a screen than he did in reality.

He sent her a PM,

"Hi Shania,

I'm new here too! Would love to chat with you about doing a RP! Let me know!"

That would do, it's a start anyway he thought and he went off to do some weights and hoped for the best.
 

Shania realized it may be a while. So .. in order to help kill time, she got up and went into her kitchen, grabbing some leftover pasta and a Sprite. As the food warmed up in the microwave, she thought on what she'd just done. It still seemed a bit foolish, childish even maybe. But her head shook no as she inwardly scolded herself. You wanna learn? This is one way. And hell, it's safer than most other methods. Calm yourself. The abrupt ding the microwave made caused the poor girl to jump slightly. Her head shook as she opened the microwave, balancing the plate in one hand and the Sprite in the other.

Yes, she was indeed a waitress and she often took her habits from work to her small efficiency. It wasn't a horrid place and at least had everything she needed. But getting an actual job, she had been realizing, was far more difficult than she'd expected. The state of the economy did anything but help. Her college education, however, was allowing for some rather promising opportunities. But as of late, she hadn't figured which exact route to go down, per se. While her degree was in Psychology, that didn't mean she had to immediately try being a shrink. She knew there were plenty of other jobs, like a criminal profiler.

And gods help her, she was genuinely trying to figure herself out. But the lack of self-knowledge did make her begin to consider more a psychologist. If she could wind up helping others out, Shania would have little trouble doing the same with herself. Or at least that was what she hoped.

Walking back in front of her laptop, she set the Sprite beside her and plate in her lap. The fork twirled around and grabbed some of the noodles, abruptly halting. Not only had it seemed someone noticed her, but sent her a Private Message? "... This is what you wanted." She reminded herself, clicking on it. As her eyes scanned over the words, it seemed like a harmless request. Then again, this was online. Everything always seemed safer here.

Shania's head shook no once again as she took a deep breath. Though Shania lacked actually using forums, she did know how to do research rather well. Thus, she clicked on the user name and began searching his posts. There was a very recent one .. and what had gotten her attention the most wasn't his request to role play but that he wanted to involve Psychological aspects to it.

This was .... almost too perfect. In fact, she pinched herself, causing a light wince to leave her lips. Nope. Not dreaming. Her heart was racing within her chest. Taking a small bite of her food first, she hit "Reply" and began to write back.

To whom it may concern,
I can give it a shot. But um .. please bear with me. I've never really done any of this, let alone role play before. I've been told what it means and how people usually go about it but never actually attempted it. I noticed you mentioned adding Psychology in them. I actually just got my Major in that rather recently. So I can work with that, somehow. Did you have any specifics ideas in mind?

-Shania

Double checking it once again, Shania hit the "Send" when she was satisfied with the message. Her hand began to tremble more and she had to grab it to keep it even slightly steady. Taking the plate, she resumed eating her pasta, assuming - hoping - it was just from hunger. Nothing's gonna happen. Stop being so stupid ... To help further calm herself, she pulled up a premade playlist and began listening to the music.
 
Ethan was thinking about this RP thing while he was doing bench presses, he had Role Played his whole life, he had role played on dating sites, he had written poetry and stories, he could do this and it would give him some contact with people even if it was just via the stories, it seemed that this could be the key, people that he could communicate with, without actually divulging any part of his true self, or perhaps he could role play himself and no one would have the faintest idea it was really him they were seeing, an excitement grew in him at the possibility of the ideas.

He thought about the request threads he read, he wasn't keen on responding to too many at the moment, just wade in slowly and this Shania seemed to be a good one to start with, a fellow newbie. He did notice that many of the women wanted to play submissive roles, he had always seen himself as the submissive, once again wanting to hide and be directed into a position or place that was acceptable to someone else, he liked the idea of not having any responsibility but he was willing to go with the flow and just see what this Shania wanted and if she wanted to be submissive than he knew he could be dominant as well.

He finished his work out and walked back into his wood finished kitchen, everything in his house was old style rustic wood, dark warm colours, old fashioned and comforting. Ethan liked old things, he was convinced he had previous lives and that he was an old soul who did not relate at all to this world.

He made some pasta with a plain tomato based sauce with basil and garlic and tossed some fettuccine through it and began to eat as he logged onto his laptop and looked through this Role Play site, there was a message for him, it was from Shania.

To whom it may concern,
I can give it a shot. But um .. please bear with me. I've never really done any of this, let alone role play before. I've been told what it means and how people usually go about it but never actually attempted it. I noticed you mentioned adding Psychology in them. I actually just got my Major in that rather recently. So I can work with that, somehow. Did you have any specifics ideas in mind?

-Shania
Click to expand...

He read it as he twirled his pasta. Then deciding that this was worth exploring he wrote back.

"Hi Shania,

I haven't done this before either, this place is kind of daunting huh? I swear I can't even work out how to do those link things with pictures and spoiler codes and all, I don't get it!

Anyway, I am just an amateur when it comes to psych but I am very interested in the subject and would love to explore some kind of story with you, I am more into the story and characters than the kinks, but I am kink friendly and all.

You asked if I have any ideas on where we can start. How about something based on what we are going through right now? 2 people wanting to explore kink hook up on a role play site and start chatting? I think that would be cool, what do you think?

regards,

Ethan"

He clicked send and hoped for the best, he liked his idea they could role play the whole learning experience.
 

Shania had finished up her pasta and snuck away once again to go clean her dishes. Her mind was so on the here and now, on having just sent a complete stranger an agreement to roleplay, that she hadn't realized a few things. And the first had been she'd nearly tried to wash the plate off in the bathroom as opposed to the kitchen. Her head quickly shook as she guided herself out and into the correct room. The hell's wrong with you? If errors are part of humanity, curiosity must be also. There's nothing wrong about this.

And given all the other possibilities she could be doing, whether it included selling her body or any of the 'bad' things she'd avoided thus far, this truly did seem to be more tame. Setting the plate down in some warm water and dishwashing soap, Shania made her way back into her room. It wasn't like her to get this anxious so easy. But an array of reasons all seemed to fuel her on tonight. A sensation of anticipation that she had never known or felt before, not even from her high school or college days, was giving her one hell of an adrenaline rush. She wasn't just nervous, oh no. Shania was excited, intrigued, and - likely because of the type of site she was doing this on - aroused.

After another mental argument went through her head and convinced the young woman this was perfectly normal, she found another PM. Sitting down upon her bed, her hand grasped the Sprite and opened it. Hazel orbs scanned the reply and, again, it seemed rather generous and innocent. In fact, if she had to start her first role play ever ... whom better to use than herself? It did make sense and if push came to shove, she could make up a few white lies about herself. It'd be a precaution, at least until she felt more comfortable on being fully honest with this Ethan.

A small smile managed to cross her face. It was good to read that it wasn't just herself who was slightly nervous. Setting the Sprite down, a deep breath left Shania's lips as the headphones went back in her ears. Tapping her fingers again lightly against the keyboard, she nodded gently before hitting the "Reply" button once again.

Ethan,
I suppose that's definitely one way to look at it. I view it as .. slightly more intimidating, personally. But that's probably because most others here know exactly what to do and well ... I don't. Reading can only get one so far after all and that's about the most experience I have with these topics. I don't know much more in terms of coding so, don't worry too much. However, it's easy enough to read up on and self-teach. I often use here on the off-chance I need to remind myself what does what.

Psychology is - well to me - one of the most intriguing and fun subjects I've learned in my lifetime. I know I still have a lot of it left. Heh, sorry. I'm going on a bit of a rant there. ^^;;

Anyways ... hm. It does seem easiest to use myself, or a persona like me. So .. sure, that could work. Do ... we just start chatting now or .. ? How exactly do we go about this? And ... kinks are the BDSM aspects and such, correct?

-Shania

Now more than ever, she was so damn glad to be in front of a screen and not this Ethan's face, lest he see her face was now burning crimson. There had been so many stupid questions. But even if not for much longer, he had appeared to be on this site more than her. And she doubted he'd use the term if he didn't know what they meant. So ... it seemed fair to inquire before she made a foolish mistake.

Checking it over once again, Shania then hit "Send". Her feet subconsciously tapped off the edge of her bed and suddenly, it dawned on her. She was more excited than she'd realized. Not necessarily sexually, mind you, but more like in an eager sense. She was finally about to learn something she didn't know much of. And even with all the concerns, there were far more positive reactions to what she was about to do.

While waiting, she pulled a piece of paper out from her denim blue jeans. It was her work schedule .. and thankfully, she had all of today and tomorrow off. So there was no need to worry about oversleeping, not yet. Her head fell against the headboard behind her. Shania's feet continued to gently tap against the bed, various lyrics and songs echoing in her ears as she waited patiently for this Ethan to get back.
 
Ethan sipped his red wine and thought about women and dating again, he really didn't do well at it, actual dating that was, even when he had chatted with a girl for a while online and all seemed well, when they would meet he would often find that the chemistry they had online had died and now they would just be sitting there struggling for something to say, he really didn't talk much, he wasn't much for the small talk and all that kind of thing and he certainly didn't like talking about himself. He often found that women were scared of him in some kind of way, the last date he had before Laura, this woman didn't even let him walk her to her car afterwards, she felt threatened by him in some way, he didn't get it, he wouldn't hurt a fly. That hurt him though, these things always hurt Ethan deeply, he was once told that he didn't let people in and that is why he didn't connect, but he did let them in, he did try and it still didn't work.

Which is exactly why he resorted to less then honorable means to find company, he felt guilty about it at one point, lying to women online and then letting them down when he couldn't or wouldn't meet. But after he had come clean to a few of them and after he had tried being himself and still being rejected he started to see women as shallow beings, beings who were only interested in the looks of a man and sex, yes sex, sex didn't mean much to Ethan, he was used to jacking off and he actually never came with real sex anyway, he would even fake it at times. Sex is also what made his darling Laura break up with him, she was horny and just because they couldn't touch each other she ended it, that still blew him away, he always saw women as being less sexually inclined than men but really they were worse, he had learned that the hard way.

So, if this was the only way he would have contact then so be it and he wouldn't feel bad for these women at all, they didn't want honesty, they didn't want the real him, they wanted some idea fantasy, and that he could provide.

He checked his Private Messages again and Shania had written back. He studied her message and responded.

"Hi Shania,

Thanks for the link, I will check it out, I do suck at this stuff though!

I don't really know what to do here either, I guess we build a story and play it out, as it is only you and I playing I don't think we can really get it wrong. I hope not anyway!

I don't mind you ranting and I didn't think you were anyway. Psych is fascinating, I would love to write something where we really get into the characters heads as much as possible.

Yeah, as far as I know kinks are like what aspects of BDSM do you want to explore, like spanking or whipping or what not, I mean I imagine if both our characters are naive to the theme they would just be talking about fantasies and ideas first you know?

Like tell me a fantasy or idea you have and we will go from there if you like?

-Ethan".

He liked this role play caper, he was getting to know this Shania whether she intended him to get to know her or not, by way of creating a role play she had to divulge information about herself, about her inner psyche, pretend or not, she wanted to play this stuff because it meant something to her after all.

He sipped his wine and sat back and waited.
 

In between waiting, Shania had been focusing mostly upon the lyrics resounding in her ears. Her eyes must have subconsciously closed at one point and now, she was listening intently to Seether's "Fake It". Swallowing softly, the young woman hummed along as the song began playing.

"Who's to know if your soul will fade at all,
The one you sold to fool the world.
You lost your self esteem along the way.
Yeah.

Good God, You're coming up with reasons.
Good God, You're dragging it out.
Good God, it's the changing of the seasons.
I feel so raped.
So follow me to hell.

And just fake it, if you're out of direction.
Fake it, if you don't belong here.
Fake it, if you feel like infection .
Woah, You're such a fuckin' hypocrite... "

When her eyes finally opened once again, they went first upon the ceiling. Shania found herself spacing out, still in slight disbelief she had joined the erotic site to begin with. But perhaps more than the location itself was the man who had already shown such interest in her, this Ethan. Was it even his real name? Or was that a lie? She wouldn't blame him for going with the latter. There truly were some insane people in this world and sometimes, the safest road to take was one that involved lies and deception.

But then again, it depended heavily on how one used those traits. There were times she could never give false information out and a relationship was one. Oh yes, Shania wasn't naive on that topic. No, she was just ... a very hard-to-get woman. Each previous guy she'd been with had tried to coerce her into sex far too quickly, after the third date or so. Some had stayed with only verbal pleas and threats; others actually tried to pin her to walls and literally ravage her.

Thank gods for basic self-defense. It wasn't much but hell, it was something. And it was like the saying went; that was always better than nothing, right?

Her head quickly shook as Shania finally realized she was spacing out and upon sitting up, she found Ethan had gotten back to her. As hazel orbs scanned the message, her cheeks almost instantly got red. It was easy to assume a goody-goody like herself didn't have fantasies. But if anything, that was so very far from the truth. Quite the contrary, she had a lot, especially since having self-introduced herself to BDSM and all the other concepts that tended to go along with it.

".... My fantasy?" She mused softly, twirling a strand of raven hair around her right index finger. She understood the meaning perfectly. The better question going through her head was which was the strongest. And when that answer came to Shania's mind, she began sending a reply.

Ethan,
As far as kinks go ... think a smarter version of "Fifty Shades of Grey". I want to be owned, dominated, shown and explore the lifestyle of BDSM. I don't want to be naive in these areas anymore. I want a Master, to know both pain and pleasure, to be taught the ropes -- literally or otherwise.

So with all of that being said, I suppose my biggest fantasy ... would be something along the lines of being given orders. It can be as simple as my first blowjob to playing with myself for you. I know terms more than actual execution of sexual habits, though I have touched myself a few times in my life. My work keeps me too occupied usually though to truly indulge myself.

I .. hope that isn't too vague or I'm not coming off as some ... loose slut. But does that help out, even if only a bit?

-Shania

By the time she finished typing, her cheeks were burning. How could she send these confessions? Worse off, how could she really want half of what she'd just included? Suddenly this felt wrong all over again .. but her head shook no quickly. "There's nothing wrong with this ... with you ... " She muttered, trying desperately to reassure herself of the words. "It's .. normal to want to know .... "

And before she could delete any of it, the "Send" button got hit first. Her heart stopped for a few moments before resuming, albeit at a much faster pace. Her hands hid her face. "Dear gods ... " She whimpered, a slight shiver going down her spine. "He's going to think I'm insane!"

On the bright side, at least her parents didn't know she was doing this. In fact, she was becoming more grateful that no one whom knew Shania knew of this side of her. She'd be disowned ... or far worse, depending on who her mind was thinking of the most.

For once in her life, she wanted a drink. She was so nervous and frantic. And given Shania didn't usually give much of a damn on what people thought about her, this was a hell of a feat for her to be feeling and experiencing so abruptly. Her hands finally moved away from her face as she took a deep breath. Maybe she had just over-thought and assumed the worst on Ethan's reactions. As much as she hated it, the best course of action was to wait ... and pray like hell he wouldn't think horribly of her.
 
Ethan wondered if Shania was her real name, it really didn't matter and he had only used his real first name because it seemed like everything on this site was assumed to be bullshit anyway. Shania was a good choice of name though, it was exotic and western all at once, he liked to think about names and what it said about the person who was branded with it. Shania, Shania he repeated in his head in his own obsessive kind of way, it was better than repeating Laura over and over anyway.

He put on his favourite song by Parkway Drive, a song all about desolation and loneliness, a song that helped him survive life and all it's humiliations and deprivations. He absorbed the lyrics as he heard them being growled to the heavy yet melodic guitar sound.

"Alone"

Shifting light outlines my battered form.
Stranger to the world, alone in my abandonment.
A gaining army of white horses, stark warning before the icy front.
The deceiving calm betrays all signs of impeding change.
Evening tide what do you hide, damnation or salvation?
As my skin breaks the blackened surface, the cold is rising, yer all embracing.
Darkness, erase this lonesome place from my every existence.
An angry sky bares the signs, a distant violence yet to break.
The ocean's travellers cry forth across the waves.
Lightning cracks across a vast horizon, reaching out its hands towards an unsuspecting shore.
No light to guide.
No ties, no ties to bind.
Evening Tide what do you hide?
To the years spent waiting on the winds of change, this is penance paid.
This is my penance paid, to the morning Sun, whose warmth never found this young man's face.
Shifting light outlines my battered form.
Stranger to the world.
Alone.
Evening tide, what do you hide? Lightning cracks across a vast horizon, reaching out its hand towards an unsuspecting shore.
With a final effort I strike out across the swells, seeking only the answers, maybe horizons hold.

The site popped up with a message alert, he checked it and once again it was from her, so... she wants to be owned, to be dominated, she referenced that book everyone was talking about, the one he couldn't even bare to read, let alone think about. Again he embraced his inner darkness, this woman wanted to be treated like dirt, at least in text, he felt empowered and a rush of excitement ran through him as he thought about the possibilities.

"Dear Shania,

I feel like we need a name for you, if you want to be owned then I should name you, nay, brand you with something else, I would very much like to lead you into the darkness, to show you the pleasures of complete and utter surrender, but are you ready? Will you run from me when it becomes too real, when it challenges your inner soul and you discover yourself as the whore that you no doubt are? Perhaps you are reading this now and thinking that I am already too much?

I will leave it up to you, but if you want to start and you are not offended by my honesty and bluntness than you should write back and plead for my guidance.

- Master Ethan."

Wow, did he just write that, it was dark and romantic and sensual and fucking fucked up! He was in some kind of character now, he pressed send and waited to see what she would think of it all, he was no longer interested in tip toeing around the edges.
 

Even with all of the songs that Shania heard from her playlist, none seemed to help calm her nerves. A frustrated "Urgh!" left as she removed them, finally getting rid of the music altogether. Only one solution could help her and it arrived in the form of the white envelope near the top of her screen. This time, there was no hesitation. Her hand grabbed the mouse and opened it. Her face had regained most of it's normal color but once the words caught her eyes, she felt that same shade of crimson dance along her cheeks. Indeed it was ... dark but somehow erotic. Her heart was pounding within her chest and as she caught a specific phrase, Shania had to carefully think on the answer to it.

"Will you run from me when it becomes too real, when it challenges your inner soul ... "

A long, deep sigh left her lips. It'd be so easy to turn her laptop off now and just let her fears and anxieties fully dominate her instead of this man. But ... she didn't want that. Even with how wrong and taboo it must have sounded in her head, that wasn't what Shania desired. Some very twisted part of her genuinely wanted every word she'd typed and - given his reply - that Ethan had read and understood.

But between her urges and the fact Shania had never once run away from anything before in her life .. she knew the answer. She couldn't just give up. She'd come too far, mustered way too much courage to log off here and now. Besides what good would it do her? Nothing. She'd never know the answers the young Native American so desperately wanted to know, to understand, to experience! No ... she would see this through to the end.

Her hands trembled as she finally began typing back.

Master Ethan,

No .. I won't run. If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have joined here in the first place. I wouldn't be here if I weren't being completely and genuinely honest with you. I've wanted to be shown the darkness ever since I learned of it. Light and dark coexist for reasons; I want to see why, especially with the latter. I really am tired of being naive, feeling like a fool.

Please ... teach me. I've never run from anything before. I'm not about to start now. I can understand if you doubt me so ... I'm more than willing to prove myself somehow. Say it ... and you'll receive the order from me.

I realize I'll probably get damned for daring to ask - no, beg - for all of this. But that's more than fine with me. So please ... teach me, lead me, guide me. I won't say I'm not nervous. But I'm not going to turn my back on you, either. I've come too far to just do that. I'll see this all the way through, regardless of what may or may not happen.

Forever yours,
Your willing servant

A trembling left hand fell upon her forehead. How she wasn't burning up with a fever was beyond Shania. She'd purposely left her real name out on purpose. She'd leave it up to Ethan, no Master Ethan, to decide what to address her as. This time, she didn't even bother rereading the message. Her right hand clicked the "Send" button and now ... she had all but sealed her fate away.

More anticipation was beginning to steadily take over Shania's body and she felt it as her nipples actually hardened slightly under her bra. The sensation made her whimper and wince slightly .. but she kept her clothes on. For now, at least. Her mind went back to the reply she'd just given Ethan and Shania couldn't help but ponder ... what would he ask of her? What would he call her as?

The mere thoughts that suddenly flooded her head made her nipples stiffen even more, making soft pants leave her lips.

Dear gods. You're just thinking of words and it's doing this to you?!

Her imagination had always been vivid so that, no doubt, wasn't helping her out. But the longer she thought upon it, the more the realization hit her. Maybe, with time, she wouldn't just want this to be simple text. Maybe ... she'd want it for real.

Are you fucking serious? You're really willing to live out your own "Fifty Shades"?!

"Yes ... " She replied, barely above a whisper. "So what though? He's willing to teach ... and I'm more than the same with learning."

And with that, she knew no amount of deities, regardless of origins, could begin to help her. No, only one person could. And that was Ethan.
 
Ethan thought about the prospect of owning someone, even if just via text in a fantasy setting, it seemed like it could be everything he ever wanted, the idea that this woman would do as he wanted, not just sexually but in all facets of life, for this is what he wanted complete control, he was lonely and sick of being left behind and worrying about what others think about him. He felt that perhaps control would give him some security.

There was a problem though, Shania seemed to think he was some kind of expert, he wasn't really but that didn't seem to matter either, if he was the master than what he says goes and he gets to construct the whole thing the way he wanted to construct it. Yes, that was it, he knew he had to give in too all his inner demons and darkness and just embrace this role completely and see where it would lead him.

He wondered about her, the real her, she could be anyone, she could be a guy even, it would be easy enough to do of course, he had done it himself. Then the message appeared on his screen.

She said she wouldn't run away, her words were poetic and dark in the most romantic of ways, she was intriguing him like no woman had since his Laura, parts of himself started to feel again and he felt his heart skip a beat at the reading of her text.

She begged him to teach her, she assured him that she would carry out his orders, she said again that she would see it through.

He sat back and thought about it all, the lines between role play and reality were already blurred it seemed, he couldn't work out which one she was playing in. He felt himself shift from that role play state to reality himself, a reality that was immersed in role play. Could he have both? Could he have something very real and yet in it's own way fake?

He started to respond and chose to throw caution to the wind.

"Dear Nothing,

Nothing will be your name from now on at least until I decide on something better. Do you like your name Nothing? I am sure you do.

Nothing, I want to know how serious you are, I won't talk with you again about this until I know you are both real and serious.

I want you to send me a photo of yourself, you may be clothed but I want a selfie of you, you should be holding up 3 fingers so I know it is you and you haven't just sent me a pic of someone you have found online.

Send the photo to my email address - Ethanemail@noemail.com

This is your first task and you promised you would carry it out. Do it or never message me again.

-Master Ethan".

He sent it and felt a rush of adrenaline through him, this was dark and erotic, would she do it? Only time would tell, but if she did the game was definitely on.
 

Shania had been practically bouncing on her bed while trying to wait for Eth --- Master Ethan's reply. That would definitely have to be something she'd need to get used to, including that new but still vital and important prefix. Her feet had tensed up as she considered grabbing seconds from the kitchen. But then that blessed sign in the envelope shape showed up again. A slight frown showed up; but not from the choice of name. No, it'd been the request. She'd had similar acts asked from her before and it always made her so very nervous. But as her head glanced up in thought, she also remembered that was just random people who had found her screen name and tried to creep, stalk, - usually both - the young Native American.

This .. was for an actual reason. She had sworn to prove herself in some form or fashion. And honestly, this had been one way she had suspected would be asked of her. The other was to actually let him hear her via Skype or something of the like. And though part of Shania preferred this Ethan hearing her first as opposed to seeing her, she wouldn't - couldn't - go back on her word. Not just because she'd promised him this but the young woman would be incredibly disappointed if she gave up now of all times.

Exhaling softly, Shania moved away from her keyboard to turn more of the lights in her room on. Most were usually off, leaving little sources of light to fill the room. A low wince left as the abrupt change made her blink quickly to adjust her sight. Sitting back in front of her laptop, she minimized the browser page and pulled up her webcam. Thankfully, it could function as a camera also rather than only be used for recording. Most didn't have the ability to switch how they worked.

It seemed ... silly to her but when the Native American saw herself, she frowned. If she was going to take a picture of herself, no way was her hair going to be so ... messy. It'd rained earlier prior to her returning from work and she hadn't realized how untame it now seemed. Reaching a hand over, she brushed the raven locks out, helping it look smoother and more natural.

At least you got your shower in this morning ..

After checking herself over, Shania took a deep breath and managed to make a nervous but at least genuine smile cross her face. Holding up three fingers as instructed with her left hand, her right moved the mouse as it clicked a button on the lower right corner, activating her camera mode. After a quick click and flash, she knew the picture had been taken. To the right of the webcam were all the other pictures she'd taken of herself. Most were just for the hell of it but all were old and taken from years ago.

More than that, none had her complying with the order of holding up three fingers.

Clicking and pulling the picture up, Shania leaned forward and carefully viewed it. It ... wasn't her best but it sure as hell wasn't her worst, either.

Pulling up a new tab, she logged into her own e-mail. Moving to the role playing site, she copied and pasted Ethan's address and placed it in the "Sender" box. She glanced at the "Subject" for a few moments before typing in "From Nothing". The e-mail would read as follows:

Master Ethan,
I hope this pleases you. But alas, here I am.
-Nothing

Clicking "Send" on the e-mail tab, she switched back over to the role play site. Swallowing softly, Shania began to type a new PM to Ethan in response.

Master Ethan,
It should be arriving in mere minutes if not sooner. But I just sent the picture off as you requested. I hope you like it.
-Nothing

A long sigh left Shania's lips as she hit "Send" on the PM tab, her heart almost feeling like it wanted to leap out of her chest. It was all but racing a mile a minute if not second. Her own adrenaline rush was swimming through her body. She was astonished, amazed at what she'd just done.

But more than that, the poor Native American was ... proud? Content?

Those were the right words to explain the sensations going through her but ... why? She could only think of one thing and it was simple in concept. She really had wanted this. It just had never dawned on her how much ... not until now.
 
Ethan still wondered if this was a game or not, he wanted to ask her but felt that it was not appropriate given he had already determined himself as her master. He had to play it out now and they would just have to find their way in the darkness of this erotic maze. Making himself a strong cup of coffee he started to look at other sites, BDSM sites and found that not a great deal of it appealed to him, it was all obsessed with the physical acts, to him the physical was an extension of his thoughts, he liked his mind and what it could do, he liked that this Shania, this Nothing as she was now reduced to was talking to him even though he had named her Nothing.

Ethan had been humiliated and degraded throughout his life, although he entertained thoughts of being humiliated for sexual kicks he had never done it, he somehow knew the reality would not be as strong as the fantasy. It would also take a like minded woman, something he never found many of.

He wanted to know more about her thoughts, how did she feel about being called Nothing, did it hurt her, did it hurt in a most sweet manner? What did she want out of this, she had to tell him more, she had to expose herself to him. He liked the game, he liked her and then his email rang, he had received and email and he knew it was from her as this account was set up purely for her.

He opened the email and saw that she was Native American, he didn't count on that, did that change something, did her race matter, was it wrong to degrade a minority even though she wanted to be degraded? Was it any different to degrading a white woman who wanted to be degraded? "Oh you think too much Ethan!" he said to himself and noted that she was indeed showing 3 fingers as instructed.

"Good Girl" he thought, he imagined that she might try and send some fake pic and try and get away with not having the fingers held up. He considered sending one of himself but that wasn't right, he was the master, he could remain mysterious.

Then he went back to the Role Play site and sure enough a message from her as well.

"Dear Nothing,

Tell me, which tribe are you from? I am curious, I have never spoken to a N.A before, also tell me how it feels to be branded Nothing, what does that do to you, how does it make you feel that you have been reduced to well, Nothing.

Do you enjoy this humiliation, do you enjoy being less than dirt? Tell me Nothing, are we really role playing or is this for real?

Nothing, I have another task for you, tell me why you want this, it is not good enough to say because you don't want to be naive anymore, what makes you want this, what makes you want to explore?

I need to know and tell me your limits.

Regards,

You Master"

He felt he could get the answers he wanted after all, he would see what this young squaw slut would come back with now.
 

The same feelings of the out-of-place happiness and pride continued to swim through Shania's mind. Now that she'd finished complying with a major order, she decided to reward herself. Getting up to her feet, Shania went back into the kitchen and finished washing up the plate she'd used. After adding more pasta on the surface of the plate, she leaned against one of the many counters behind her. Her heart was still racing, skipping beats even, as she thought on the exchange and all that had happened so far. It was new, foreign, but thrilling all the same. No sooner than the ding echoed in the kitchen again did Shania quickly - almost too much - grab the plate and head back in her room.

It seemed as if she had returned in time, too. The same signal was in plain sight of her own two eyes. Opening it, Shania began to eat while contemplating long and hard. Everything was easy to figure out .. except for the last part. He wanted to know more exact details on the reason behind her wanting this, wanting to explore. So in order to figure that out, Shania had to self-examine herself, per se.

Her eyes closed for a few brief moments before opening again. The scent of food had reminded her what she'd done before reading the message and she didn't want it to go cold. Twirling some of the noodles around her fork, she glanced up in thought as the maiden began to eat.

Good question. Why do you want this? Besides to explore?

The very real possibility of desiring this to be occurring for real instead of via words was still going through her head. But was that truly it? No .. she wasn't that simple, not usually. There had to be more that Shania wasn't thinking of. A frown crossed her lips as she failed to come up with any immediate motives.

With any luck, the food will help out ...

So, she focused on eating for a while. Bite by bite, more things did come to her mind. Her upbringing .. she did desire to break tradition. After a while, it got tiring knowing nothing much more than the 'goody-goody' role. Letting that information get tucked away in the back of her head, Shania continued to think, setting the plate aside as she finished up.

Master Ethan,
I'm from the Apache tribe. I'm not too amazed, honestly. Even growing up, I didn't see many other Native Americans despite living in one of the states we often resided within. This entire time .. I've been confused with myself, wondering if something is wrong with me for wanting all of this. Literally, I've been trying to self-diagnose myself. And it's taken quite a bit of time and effort to figure it all out ... but I've figured that no, nothing is wrong with me.

I can't yet pinpoint why but I've been proud .. content to be your slave. Even with such a harsh-sounding name ... I'm glad we're doing this exchange and interaction. I've been finding myself get more and more eager after each message. Anticipation has been swimming through me, helping fuel on an adrenaline rush; one of the strongest ones I've ever felt. My ... my nipples have been hardening in between responses, just because I've been that turned on, that excited to talk of these things.

Even if I shouldn't enjoy all of this ... yes. I am, have been, liking it. As far as whether it's role play or real, it honestly feels far more like the latter. But that's all I can say from my behalf. I wouldn't dare wish to speak for you.

As for a more exact reply on why .. that took the longest to figure out. I want to explore ... because eventually, I want this to be real. I'm tired of always being a goody-goody. I want a change of pace in my life. Reading can only do so much and thus that has made me desire to explore this. As I hinted, this was by far the most difficult thing to put into words; but I hope what I've provided is more than adequate enough for you, Master.

In terms of limits, I'd have to say probably the most extreme aspects. Bondage is fine but not to the point of circulation being cut off. Same with discipline. As long as it doesn't actually break a bone or something of the like, I can handle it should those times arise. Watersports and scat ... I wouldn't want to consider doing either of those. Off the top of my head, that's all I can immediately think of for limits.

-Nothing

Her heart continued to race and pound within her chest, before and after hitting "Send". Had she really just said that? Admitted she wanted this to be real? Her head fell upon her pillow as she swallowed nervously. This was ... so surreal. She almost didn't believe this was even happening. But as she sat up and found her laptop screen, the first thing that caught her eyes were all the private messages she'd been sending and getting from this Ethan.

"...So ... this is real. My gods ... "

A part of her couldn't help but wonder ... was it only her that wanted this to be real? Or did he wish for the same back? Her teeth gripped her lower lip as she found herself awaiting him once again.
 
Ethan sat back and just stared at the screen, he was unsure where all of this would lead, he had moments in his life where it felt as though the curtains were being drawn around him and his world would be enveloped by darkness. This darkness wasn't always a bad thing, it would allow him clarity and a chance to explore things he wouldn't normally get a chance to experience. This was one of those times, he felt the metaphorical clouds rolling in over head blocking out the few rays of sunshine that still made it through to shine on his life. He felt this was going to be a dark trip and that Shania really didn't know what she was getting involved with.

The message symbol popped up and he read it, she had answered all but one of his questions, she missed the "is this game" one, maybe on purpose, no, he thought she just missed it, she was too immersed in the sub role to miss it on purpose. He began to read it and study the email and then read it between the lines to make sure there were no hidden meanings.

Then he noticed it, she had answered it, she wanted this to be real eventually she said, this was easier than he imagined, he liked the idea of making this for real. Ethan liked structure, he didn't care if he was top or bottom, he just liked the structure of knowing who was who and what their respective roles were. Anything to make the social experience easier for himself.

"Dear Nothing,

You have been doing well, you should be proud of that, I expected you to run away like a scared rabbit.

I want you to know me Nothing, I want you to know something about the man who will own you, yes, I will own you, I will take control of you and change your life forever, you have told me that this is what you want after all.

I too have lived in confusion, I am not very adept at the social experience, I am rather insular, I like structure Nothing. I like that you know your place and that it is chained to my bed or chair, that you will be enslaved to me and that you will have no freedom's whatsoever. I like that you are mine even if at the moment you are only mine in the electronic sense of the word.

I am happy that this is exciting you sexually Nothing, it should after all be pleasurable to you, I want to hear about how the acts of degradation as we play them out make you feel and how your worthlessness makes you horny and makes you want more.

I want to do so many things to you and make you do so many things as well.

I am happy that you have so few limits, I do not wish to use you as a toilet or urinal so rest assured Nothing. I also do not wish to break your body, spending time in hospital would take you away from your cage after all.

As you have been good I will allow you to ask me one question and one question only at the moment, I also have another task for you.

Email me a photo of yourself clothed, with your panties stuffed in your mouth.

regards,

Master Ethan"

Well they were under way now, exploring this kink in a not very fictional role play manner but they were having fun and that was what seemed to matter after all.
 

Another message arrived and similar to the last one, it had made her blush again. The compliment on doing well .. why was it making her so proud? Had this side of her been buried away for longer than she had wanted to admit? There were few other things Shania could begin to think of. Her heart raced as she reread it over several times, her pulse quickening or even stopping every now and again. Certain lines seemed to especially get her attention. But the one that seemed to effect her the most was a simple and yet so very powerful phrase.

"Yes, I will own you ... "

Shania swallowed, her feelings increasing and strengthening as her mind began to actually imagine that. What would it really be like? The same as "Fifty Shades"? Better somehow? Hopefully the latter. A slightly shaky hand grabbed her Sprite as she downed a bit more of the soda. Exhaling deeply, she began frantically trying to regain her composure and keep her mind thinking properly enough. Moving a few strands of hair away from her face, she decided first thing was first; to get the new order out of the way.

Standing up, she slipped the jeans off of her, the panties soon following. When they were held in her hands, Shania felt herself blush more. It hadn't been until she was holding them that the Native American realized just how drenched they'd gotten. And these were still only text-related exchanges. But it almost seemed as if she were right in front of him, as if this were face-to-face instead. After rereading the message, she saw the request for the photo to be of herself completely - mostly - clothed. So she got back into her jeans, stuffing her panties into her mouth simultaneously as requested.

True, Shania could have easily angled the webcam so it would only get the waist up of her body. But that was an easy way to cheat. And if she hadn't resorted to such tactics thus far, why start now? She wouldn't. Besides, it'd make her lose the only mentor who was finally helping her learn of something she'd so desperately craved. That would do her no good at all.

Taking the time to minimize the browser yet again, she deftly took the picture. While waiting for the camera to click and signal it was done, she could smell exactly how aroused this had begun to get her. It made her cheeks burn even more, a feat she hadn't deemed possible. And yet this stranger was making her blush more than any ex had done.

Setting the panties aside once the photo was done, she e-mailed him the picture first before going back to the role play site.

Master Ethan,
No. I say what I mean and mean what I say. The anxieties haven't gone away fully even now. But .. they are lessening the more I communicate with you. Still, when all is said and done, I keep to my word. I'm not going to run.

Yes. I thought long and hard on that also, to ensure I was certain on that. And ... I do. I want this for real, no matter how long that may take to make it from behind screens to in front of one another.

I've ... never gotten so aroused before. Even with all the variety of erotic books, none have had such an effect. And yet, my panties were - still are - drenched. Even while taking that picture for you, I could taste a bit of myself.

Thank you for respecting the limits. From what I've learned, I know some are ... not so merciful to oblige with such requests. I'm honored to have found someone who'll at least heed basic requests such as those.

My question is simple, really.

Is Ethan your real name or not?

-Nothing.

To say Shania was having fun was quite the understatement. She was ecstatic ... and ready to grab some of the very few toys that she did own. None were overly huge in size, simply to assist with keeping her intact. But what they lacked in size was made up for in power, usually in the form of vibrations. Her body shook as Shania felt a sharp tingle in between her legs.

It'd be so easy to touch herself now. But he did seem very pleased with her. And the last thing she wanted to do was make him infuriated. So she got up and went off to wash the plate again, figuring the best way to avoid the temptation was keep her hands busy in other ways.
 
Ethan waited impatiently, flicking back and forward between his email and the role play site, he seemed obsessed to get messages from Shania as soon as it was possible. He used to do the same thing with Laura, compulsively checking his email address and Facebook pages for messages, emails or signs that she was online, the amount of time he wasted on her was unbelievable he thought to himself and in the end she ran off on him all because her pussy wasn't getting poked.

Finally a message appeared in his email, a message with an attachment, he opened the attachment and sure enough the little squaw was there with her red panties stuffed in her mouth, he had never actually seen this done before, not even on porn sites, he just liked the idea of it and thought it was still mild enough for someone who he was just starting to get to know to do for him, well it was kind of mild anyway, she still had her clothes on, although really, he thought to himself, she would have been less humiliated to be naked instead of having the panties stuffed in her mouth like that.

Another rush went through him, the rush that someone would actually do that for him, do it because he wanted it to happen, he realized that was what made it so erotic, that it was just for him, that she did this act. Wow, he thought, and then a sense of responsibility came over him, he was thinking too much again but he couldn't help it, he didn't want to push this so far that she would run off on him, regardless of what she said it was always a possibility. Anyway, she wanted to play and they were playing all right.

Then he came up with an idea, he printed off the panties pic and pulled his jeans down, standing up he masturbated until he came all over it, then taking a photo of the cum splattered Apache, he saved it to his computer.

Wiping himself off, he went back to the Role Play site and sure enough another PM was present.

He read her PM carefully as per usual, and then started to respond.

"Dear Nothing,

You did well with the picture challenge, I liked it immensely, a very erotic image of an Apache whore with her panties stuffed in her mouth, I hope you feel humiliated as you should for sending such photos.

It is good that you are a straight talker, I find that easier, I am not very good with working out people's mind games, it causes me a lot of angst Nothing.

Perhaps soon we can think about meeting and do this thing for real, where do you live Nothing? Supply me with your full address and surname Nothing.

I won't come around without prior discussion but I feel you should have no secrets from me, do you understand Apache?

Yes, my real name is Ethan, I normally wouldn't give my real name, I have told many lies online Apache, as I have told you I am a very confused individual, I try my best to connect but seldom does it happen.

But Ethan is my real name.

Till next time, check your email, I have sent you a surprise.

-Master Ethan"

and with that he sent off her cum splattered photo.

He sat back and knew that this would develop into something, just what exactly he didn't know yet, but it would be big.
 

Constant jolts of electricity teased and tormented Shania's crotch. The acts had been relatively tame considering an array of options she could have been asked to do. But still, she hadn't been kidding upon revealing to Ethan this all had been turning her on so much. Her hands had raised a few times, wanting to at least rub or touch her hardened nipples but they quickly lowered. It hadn't dawned on her until the sight of the refrigerator was caught thanks to peripheral vision .. but she'd nearly masturbated in her own kitchen! Her cheeks went red and head shook quickly.

As she got in front of her laptop, there was yet another message. Opening and eagerly reading it, she blinked and found herself triple checking this message. He .. would really come see her? Or at least make an attempt? That was what it suggested, given he asked for her address and entire name. Her hazel hues also noted the changes in nicknames, going from either Nothing to Apache, the latter making her blush more.

Taking another quick sip of the Sprite, Shania set it down after glancing it over a few times more. She didn't have to think nearly as long as usual to respond. An easy enough answer had entered her head as she began deftly typing back.

Master Ethan,
Thank you. I'm glad I've been able to please you thus far, even if only from simple - in concept - tasks. I .. I do, yes and yet, there's still that sense of pride flowing through me.

I can understand that. It does tend to get annoying trying to figure people out at times. But in my case, I usually end up doing so out of habit more than anything. And especially given I have been considering taking up a psychiatrist job for real; it'd help me in the long run. But that's still in the works on what to do with my life.

Shania Whitewater
5080 Tomahawk Ln.
Santa Fe, New Mexico 87501

I .. don't exactly live in the biggest place, just as a warning of sorts. But I can see about making room for you to more appropriately visit. Unless .. you had an idea regarding this?

I also work as a waitress, as my introduction post hinted. So at times I may be away but we always get a schedule every Monday that dictates when I'm needed or not. I'm off the rest of today and tomorrow.

Yes, I understand perfectly on the no secret parts. For that matter, I understand all you're mentioning in this message.

... Till next time? Do you have to leave then? If that's the case, I hope you have a nice evening.

-Apache (I hope it was fine to choose this one)

Switching to the tab with her e-mail still on it, a shocked gasp left as she saw the image. Her heart had been racing and her face had stayed warm. "Oh gods ..." She knew the correct reaction should have been something along the lines of being disgusted. But ... Shania couldn't help but stare at the lewd image.

Finally, she saved it to her laptop, even if that may have been reckless and against her better judgment. Her eyes went back up to the ceiling as her mind began to race with her heart. She began to think, imagine him actually being here. How would things go? Each scenario made a shiver trail down her spine. Every now and again, Shania let her eyes drift to her screen, seeing if her guess had been right on him needing to leave for the night or not.

On the off-chance he didn't though ... she felt herself eager to continue talking, getting to know Ethan better. This sensation of feeling so desperate was another alien concept to her. She'd never wanted anything as bad as this interaction before in her life. Suddenly, this had began to feel like one of the most powerful drugs - addiction of some sort - she'd ever felt. And even if she should quit, she didn't want to.

If anything, Shania found herself wanting more.
 
Ethan's mind wandered over all the possibilities of owning a woman, he would have to be able to dictate her movements, her freedom and who she could talk to, he would mention this in the next PM, he also wondered how he could benefit from such a woman, could he rent her out, charge men to have her give them head jobs and the like? This was just a thought and of course would depend on the level of attraction he had for her and how close he felt to her, he couldn't see himself renting out a woman he felt something for, he had known some guys who have dated whores and they didn't seem to mind their partner satisfying other men, he wasn't like that though, he was regardless of anything else monogamously wired.

He was hard again, he could still see the picture of her with her panties stuffed in her mouth, what else would she do for him? Perhaps it was time soon for a voice a chat?

Another message on the RP site, he was really only talking to her, he hadn't messaged anyone else, she seemed to be doing more than he ever expected after all.

He noticed straight off that she had provided her street address, this was good and he googled it to make sure that it was an actual private residence and that she wasn't having fun by giving him the address of a brothel or something, it was sure enough for real.

"Dear Apache,

I will call you Apache or Nothing or anything else I decide at any given moment, this as your owner is my right.

Working people out is painful and I don't care to worry about it anymore except on the most basic of levels, I feel that what we will have will be very primal, you are mine, you will do as I say and I will dictate every part of your life, I will have full control, I will draw up a legal contract that you will sign once we meet which will basically hand you over to me as my property, you will forfeit all your rights.

I do not know about this book 50 Shades of Gray, I will take a guess and say it is very watered down and mainstream, if this is what you want, some kind of Mills and Boon's experience than I suggest you don't respond.

However if you truly want to explore this life than you need to be ready to obey on a level that you have never been on before.

Thank you for your address, I hope it is real, we will find out soon enough anyway. It is ok if your place is small, I am thinking of keeping you in a cage when I am not using you anyway.

Yes, I will be signing off for tonight but we will chat again soon, your challenge this time is to tell me about your last sexual experience, tell me all about it and how it happened and if you enjoyed it.

Also tell me how you felt when you saw cum all over your picture.

Regards,

Your Master".

He hit send and closed his laptop down for the night, he would see if she was still around the next day when all the adrenaline had played out of her system. He thought that she might be, but he never knew with women, he had been led on more times than he could imagine and really he never took anything they said seriously until his dick was well and truly in their mouths, it seemed their currency was their bodies.

He reflected a little and thought about the time way back when he actually respected women, but too many bitches, too many heartbreaks and way too many games made him see them as only things to play with now, he didn't want it to be that way, but it seemed that they did and so that was the way it would be from now on.
 

Shania's feet had found the edge of her bed once again and tapped against it frantically. Time had seemed to slow and if she hadn't known better, it had actually done so. But finally, another PM showed up. Her head tilted slightly. True, she had mentioned "Fifty Shades" though not in the last PM. It'd likely been just because of the simple fact it had been brought up at all. And ... after thinking on his response to the thought while quickly analyzing how the book had been, she had to agree. It was incredibly watered down and mainstream, to quote him.

For now though, she doubted he'd care if she ignored that line. Besides, the hint was to not respond if she wanted the exact types of scenarios copied. And honestly ... she didn't. Concepts? Yes. But the entire book from start to finish? No.

A yawn finally passed her lips. Even with all the powerful adrenaline rushes, fatigue had finally began to overtake Shania. But she had at least enough energy to get back to Ethan first. Stretching out slightly, her back cracking a few times, her focus went back to the screen as she began to type back. Given the hint that had been included, he'd likely find it in the morning or whenever he woke up.

Master Ethan,
I do truly want to be introduced and explore this lifestyle. I'm still slightly nervous on the concepts and thoughts of how things will go .. but not enough to turn away.

My last experience was with one of my exes. I was seventeen and had managed to get my driver's license a bit earlier than usual. I was with a twenty-one year old who enjoyed drinking. I was getting him back to his residence, walking him to the door. I turned my back to leave and drive back home ... when he grabbed me and began to make out and fondle my breasts. I wouldn't have minded or cared .. except for the fact I'd told him before I didn't want to rush things. It had only been our second date and ... it just seemed too fast for me. Needless to say, I had to resort to dirty fighting tactics and called the authorities on him.

The best way to explain my reaction ... was shock at first. But it steadily faded into a ... content feeling. I guess knowing the picture got you so happy you reached a climax somehow ... registered as a good thing. I know what I'm trying to say. But I think my own fatigue is making me slightly exhausted. Hopefully I made enough sense though.

Until next time,
Apache

Another yawn left her lips as she finished typing and sending the PM. Her body was incredibly annoyed and clearly wanting attention. But there would be no sense in forcing herself to comply with that, not when she was so tired. Deciding to deal with that later, likely when she woke up, Shania moved her laptop aside and got underneath her covers. Hazel eyes slowly closed as her mind began replaying everything that had gone on since joining the erotic website.

It still felt so very surreal. But she didn't usually forget important things. And this had definitely been one, hands down. Not only had she found the site, but a - for now - complete stranger who had agreed to take steps in showing her the lifestyle which had intrigued her for so long. And from the sound of the last message, it wouldn't be only in PMs. Soon, he'd actually show up in New Mexico. She was excited but still very anxious.

Her mind temporarily switched as she wondered what he looked like. Ethan knew her appearance but not vice versa. Was he Caucasian? Something else? What was his hair and eye color? A weary sigh mixed in with yet another yawn as her eyes finally closed.

"You'll see when that bridge comes .... " She murmured to herself softly, her eyes finally giving in and closing. It didn't take but a few minutes and then the poor girl fell asleep. Were Ethan around, he'd clearly see a very happy looking smile on her face with little to almost no hints of nervousness.
 
Ethan woke up the next morning and where he used to think about Laura he now thought about Shania, he wondered what she was doing and what she was thinking about all of this and whether or not she had lost interest in it or not. Sometimes that happened, people had the initial adrenaline surge about something which excited them and then when they thought about it later they lost complete interest, deciding it wasn't for them after all. That was better than them meeting anyway and trying to make something different of what was discussed, he hated that, all that time spent talking about one thing only for them to try and change it to something else later on.

He logged on to his computer and found a message from her on the role play site. She was saying she was certain and that she wouldn't turn back now. She also explained her last sexual experience which sounded like date rape. He thought about it and started to write back.

"Dear Apache,

We will meet very soon. There will be rules in regards to our meeting and you will follow them to the letter.

Sounds like your last sexual experience was date rape? Did you feel excitement over possibly or actually losing control of your body? Did you wish that it was someone you liked more so you could lay back and let them do as they pleased to you?

How old were you when you gave your first head job and what do you think makes a woman a slut?

Regards,

Ethan.

P.S - You may ask me one question".

He sent it, all of this felt very natural now, he didn't think about it at all anymore. He liked it and wanted it to be darker and dirtier and he knew he would make it so.

He thought about rules for when the met and he would draw them up soon, he liked the idea that she wouldn't be able to look at him, that she would have to sit with her hands on the table looking downwards. Yes, little rules that took away her self control and autonomy. She would need to learn all of this.
 

During the night, Shania had a rare occurrence. To be more exact, she actually had a dream for once in her life. And though she never saw an exact figure, a deep masculine voice was constantly talking dirty to her. She heard terms like 'good girl', 'slut', 'whore' and more. She never really saw herself in the dream much. But Shania definitely heard. Oh yes. Her ears had no doubt picked up on how she had reacted to everything. Needless to say, she'd whimpered, whined, moaned .. given any and every possible erotic sound that existed to this man. It hadn't seemed to matter what he asked of her, the result was always the same. In the end, no matter how hesitant she may have been, Shania had cried out in delight and - somehow - reached a climax.

As the last scenario played in her head, the Native American woke up with a start. Heavy pants left her lips and after taking a few minutes to fully wake up, she felt her jeans were soaked. Her cheeks darkened and sure enough, after feeling in between her legs, the young woman noted it was indeed arousal and her own juices. She had literally gotten off despite all the mysterious factors which had remained with the dream. Her head shook slowly in disbelief as she stood up. "Holy hell ... " She murmured, tossing the dirty jeans and panties into a nearby hamper.

Walking towards a drawer, she pulled out a new pair of each article of clothing she'd just discarded. Slipping each on, Shania then pulled her laptop in front of her. It appeared in her exhaustion, she hadn't bothered logging out. In fact, after refreshing the role play site, she saw there was a new message. And while it could have been from anyone, no. It was still from Ethan. Her heart raced and skipped several beats as she opened and read it. The first line had particularly gotten her attention and made her pulse quicken.

"Master Ethan,
I look forward to our meeting. Rules should be no problem, in terms of following.

More or less, yes. Attempted but .. the fact it still happened is what matters, I realize. Back then, I was more terrified. I never really knew of BDSM, domination, or anything of the like so ... I can't say I did. I don't tend to think on 'what-ifs' that aren't likely to happen, honestly. And given I didn't have anyone I really liked back then .. it wouldn't have been possible to fantasize on anyone else.

However, I don't view that in the same light as what we're about to do. There's a difference in wanting something or not. And this is something we both desire. I won't try to lie; I'm a bit nervous. But there's more anticipation and excitement over the anxious feelings swimming through me.

I've ... never given a head job. Going off how I've used the term of seen some women act like a slut, I'd have to say something along the lines of a woman who'll part her legs easily - or do any sexual act for that matter - for any man, with little to no questions. But that's another thing I'm not 100% certain on myself.

For my second question .....

What did you think of my appearance when you saw the picture of me?

-Apache

The new inquiry had been what had taken the longest to think of, truthfully. But aside from that, the letter had felt otherwise natural and easy to reply to. It terrified and amazed her even more. She really was liking every second of this back and forth exchange. And the reassurance that Ethan would soon be coming over in person added onto all she was feeling.

A shaky hand pressed "Send" and her mind began to race with her heart once again. While it was true she didn't often think of 'what-ifs', this was something that she had a feeling was going to actually happen. Despite having only read words and not actually spoken to this Ethan yet, she could almost hear his voice while reading his messages. And his voice held a firm yet very determined tone to it. When Ethan wanted something ... he ensured - one way or another - that he got it.

The thought made her shudder as she got up to her feet once again. Sneaking a glance over at her clock, she saw it to be a bit after nine in the morning. While she would wait for Ethan to reply, the Native American headed into the kitchen and began grabbing breakfast; a quick bowl of cereal to be exact. So what if it was simple? It was sometimes the less complex things in life that were better; or at least that was how Shania viewed certain things. Food could be included as such.

Carefully holding the bowl in both hands after grabbing a spoon, she walked into her room once again and began to eat while waiting.
 
Ethan read the latest message, he had been drafting ideas in his head as far as rules for meeting went and a contract. He wanted to do this right and all of this was to make Shania feel like a slave, an object that was owned.

"To My Apache,

In terms of meeting, I have set out the following rules.

1/ You will wear a short skirt, knee high at least black boots, a white blouse with a black bra and no panties.
2/ You will wait outside the designated coffee shop with your head bowed, you will not look at me until told you can.
3/ Once at our table you will place your hands on it and I will order for both of us, if you have any allergies now is the time to let me know.
4/ You will do the talking, I do not speak much and will do as I feel is comfortable for me.
5/ When our coffee's or hot drinks arrive you will let yours go cold before drinking it.
6/ We will go back to your place afterwards and you will undress the second we are in the door. This does not mean we will have sex, you will leave your boots on though.

Agreed?

I am sorry to hear that you were nearly raped, I felt that it was the case when I read it originally. This is different though, I will never make you do anything, you will be expected to do it of course but in the end it is your choice, which I think makes it far more erotic.

You will be giving me plenty of head jobs, but I will train you, so don't worry. ;-)

Slut is an interesting term isn't it? Is it a woman who likes sex or is it a woman who is not fussy? I wonder, there is a joke actually, what is the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut has sex with everyone, a bitch has sex with everyone but you.

You asked me what I thought when I saw your photo. Well I saw that you actually are Native American, I will be really honest here. I have only ever dated within my own race, I think it is just the comfort thing more than anything else, the similar background and culture all that kind of thing. So yes, I did have to think how I would feel owning you, whether that would stir up any racial politically correct bullshit in my head and I am not a PC type of guy either but nor am I a KKK cross burning type!

So when I saw you, I thought that you are very beautiful and that I would like to connect with you, but there was also all that stuff.

Sorry if that was too much information or too serious, but as you are honest with me, I will be honest in return. This will be a relationship of sorts after all.

-Ethan"

He pressed send, he knew they were getting deeper into each other now, that this would develop into more than just one guy whipping a woman and tying her up and all that kind of stuff which appealed to him but not as much as what those acts themselves actually meant.

He went to work and opened his locker and looked at the stuff Laura had sent him, he still had it but kept it here now as he thought it was better than having it at home where he could obsess over it all the time.

Her letters still smelled of her perfume and he still had the lock of her hair, was he coming to the end now of his obsession with her, now that he had Shania to play with and keep him company? Only time would tell and he would see how the meeting all panned out as well.

He took a few moments and just wondered where all of this was going to lead.
 

After swallowing the last drops of milk from her bowl, Shania saw the PM notification arrive. Her cheeks reddened upon 'My Apache'. It held quite the significant meaning behind it. While it definitely symbolized and suggested he was referring to her in a Master - Servant way, there was also a very sensual and erotic tone behind it. And somehow .. that made her happy. Not to say she'd forgotten the nervous feelings, oh gods no. But after seeing such a greeting, it made her feel all the more better about having arranged and met Ethan. Her mind had gone from wondering if this had been the correct choice to knowing it had been

Placing the now empty bowl on the mantle beside her, she pulled up an empty Word Pad, highlighted his rules, copied and pasted them all and then finally saved the document to her laptop. Giving the guidelines another brief look over, Shania then went to the PM once again. A smile actually crossed her face, something she didn't do often according to her friends and family.

Master Ethan,
Yes, completely agreed. Most of the clothing I already have. But I will need to get boots that are knee high.

With every PM we exchange, I feel myself becoming more and more ... excited on all we're planning. There's still that small part of me that's curious and a bit ... nervous. But steadily those feelings continue to disappear.

It's ... not your fault regarding my past incident. It's honestly why I'm still a virgin. Too many have been hasty to jump right to sex, thinking almost nothing of how I feel on the matter. But thank you all the same, if for nothing else the reassurance of your words.

^^;; I ... intend to do my best. I was usually a fast learner in school. Hopefully I haven't lost my touch, as it were.

It really is. This world is honestly full of intriguing terms. But some of the ones that get the most attention tend to be linked to sex or sexual acts somehow. Or at least that's what I've noticed. From what I've noticed, no one seems to have a concrete idea on the definition of terms like 'slut'. It tends to be whatever they deem it as.

I understand. However, I didn't grow up learning many former traditions of the Apache. I was raised in a Catholic environment, actually. I do still practice some of the traditions, Lent being a huge one. But I can't say I follow every single routine a typical Catholic is supposed to.

I'm .. flattered. No one's told me that. Rather, no one's said that and genuinely meant it. I know we haven't spoken to one another. But my gut instinct .. is hinting to trust the words, to know that somehow, they're not lies. It's dangerous and a hell of a risk, usually, simply because this is online. It's the easiest way to lie. But ... I still feel content, safe even, when typing to you.

....

Does that make me sound loose to say such things? Even though we haven't known one another for more than one and a half days?

I've been asking myself that every now and again, literally trying to self-diagnose myself. I'm .. pretty certain the answer is no. This is all very new and foreign to me. With any luck, it'll be easier to get used to with time.

Oh no. That wasn't too much at all. If anything, I appreciate the honesty. It's a nice change of pace as opposed to the deception so many other males have tried to use against me in the past. If anything, I wish they'd just been truthful from the get-go. But .. you really can't always get what you want. I've already learned that the hard way in life before.

-Apache

A low but very content sigh left her lips as she hit the "Send" button. Slight hints of disbelief flooded the young woman once again. How was this happening? How was she finding herself to like this man so damn much? And they hadn't even done anything sensual yet. All they had done was merely plan it out, step by step. No one had ever began to make Shania feel like this before.

Minimizing the browser, she glanced over the rules and steps he had requested of her. After a brief double check, she did note it would only be the boots that would need to be bought. That ... could be done. Unless, of course, he had to leave soon; then she could step away from her keyboard without giving him the impression she was ignoring him.

Taking advantage of the fact she had to wait once again, Shania pushed herself off the bed, hurried to the kitchen and re-entered her room, eagerly awaiting Ethan's reply.
 
During his lunch break Ethan started to draft a contract, a contract would see Shania give herself to him as his property for a period of 2 years, he didn't want to make it a lifetime, he didn't want her to feel she had to spend the rest of her life as his slave, he simply wanted a substantial period where she could truly experience what it was like to be nothing more than chattel.

He showed it to his lawyer who although was a little shocked considered it and felt that if Shania was willing to sign off on it then that was her business and it would indeed be totally legal.

He stopped off at an internet cafe on the way back to work and checked his messages, again there was one from Shania.

"Dear Shania,

I am happy that you have all the clothing required, I hope the boots do not cost too much, I will reimburse you anyway, so please buy the best pair, not the most affordable. *Hint* I prefer boots with stiletto style heels.

I stopped off at my solicitor today and showed her the contract that would make you my property for a period of 2 years, at the end of that time, we can sign off on another contract. We can talk more about that when we meet, probably when we are back at your place and you have already stripped naked for me.

It is exciting isn't it? I never dreamed of owning a person before, but you seem to be wanting that as well so it should be fun for the two of us. I will be a good owner I promise.

You are a virgin? Wow, that is rare these days, all this time chatting and I am not sure if I know your age, you mention that near date rape was when you were 17, how old are you now?

I am 27.

Yes, slut seems to apply to any woman who pisses someone off doesn't it, whether she is actually a 'loose woman' or not, more a case of trying to destroy a woman's reputation than anything else.

You are beautiful, so no one tells you that? Is blindness common where you live? Or are the men just daft?

No, I don't think you are loose or anything like it, I like you a lot and that is rare for me to find someone I relate to, I live a very solitary life my sweet slave, I carry a lot of pain.

Would you like to meet soon, when would be a good time?

regards,

Your adoring Master"

He was feeling warm and fuzzy and he was enjoying the dark romance that went along with the domination and humiliation that he would have her endure for him.

Was it possible to love a woman while you are treating her as your property? He felt yes, yes it could be done, why couldn't it? Wasn't possessing someone the most romantic thing you could do, wasn't that what marriage was all about? Belonging to someone for life?

He thought about it all and decided that this may turn out to be the most intense and romantic relationship he had ever had, even though he already knew he would be locking her in cages at times. He liked that idea a lot actually, to lock her in a cage and go to work while she was in there safe.

He thought about these things as he walked back to work.
 

The earphones had gone back in her ears. Shania had easily noted this period of time had seemed to take longer, which likely meant he had to step out and away even if she didn't. That was understandable. She didn't know much about him besides he was a Caucasian named Ethan. In fact, it made her wonder .. did he even have a job? Would he let her keep hers? If not, would he get one to make up for that? After all, they would need finances to live and perform basic daily routines; eat, sleep, reside in the efficiency, and such.

During the break, Shania also took the time to attempt to more properly self-diagnose herself. Was it really wrong to want this? She pulled up an array of tabs and even grabbed some of her old textbooks, trying to find hints or references to the answer. If anything, however, it seemed that this was natural in some aspects. It didn't suggest most people went to lengths like she was doing. But when a person was curious on wanting to know something, they did experiment in some form or fashion to get an answer. Thankfully, she had managed to find online that while slavery wasn't technically legal in the US, she and Ethan weren't the only ones who practiced this.

In fact, quite a few people within the online role play site and other various ones were real life couples of said lifestyle. And all by choice at that matter. It was more than enough to satisfy her. Now the only real reason any anxiety still lingered was just from the fact of meeting Ethan. It was always nerve-wracking to meet new people, regardless of how old or young you were; or at least that's what she noticed with herself.

By the time she finished putting her things away and put the headphones back in place, Ethan had gotten back to her. That same warm smile crossed her face as she read word after word. Her reactions still seemed a tad out of place in the young Native American's mind, but she didn't let it pester her too much anymore. This reply seemed to be one of the smoothest ones by far. As she hit "Reply", terms easily appeared on her screen.

Master Ethan,
I don't usually spend too much money on leisure items like many people do anyways. And I keep all my tips hidden away so .. it shouldn't be an issue.

o.o You .. thank you. I didn't expect to be reimbursed. Then again, that comes with having been financially independent since I graduated high school.

Somehow, I know you'll be a good owner. That same gut instinct is kicking in again and I hardly know how. I just know ... to trust the words. And gods yes. This is incredibly exciting, albeit a bit nerve-wracking at the same time. But the latter's been disappearing more and more with each passing second and message.

Yes, I am ^^;; Yeah, I know it is. I'm pretty sure I was one of the few who still kept their purity by the end of both high school and college. I didn't really pester classmates and get into their personal lives or anything ... but some just loved to brag. So .. it was inevitable to put two and two together.

It was in my introduction thread but that's okay. Anyways, I'm twenty-one, pushing twenty-two in about three months.

Any and all terms seem to apply in such manners, really. Think on it. It can apply to 'bastard', 'prick', 'bitch', 'whore' ... any term used or hurled at people as an insult. It's almost depressing how humanity seems to sink so low nowadays. Heh, and yet I want to be a psychologist and try to restore it. I didn't think on the irony until now.

Unfortunately, the latter; and that only ties in with the small but accurate rant above. Humanity just .. really doesn't seem to exist much if at all these days. I'm not sure what exactly happened but about 85-90% of people I meet are - for some reason - real ... jerks. They just ... find some reason to want to be 'tough' or 'the badass' or some clique of the like. I don't begin to understand why. It's always easier to just be yourself. Then again, maybe that is the unfortunate case with them. I dunno. I might have my degree and all but it doesn't mean I can read minds; nor would I want that ability. It'd likely result in massive headaches.

Good guys really do tend to finish last it seems. Another shame in this lifetime. I don't get any uneasy feelings of you yourself. Still a bit nervous of the meeting but not because of you; because it's typical to be a bit anxious when meeting new people.

Going off of my work schedule ...

I'm off the rest of today but unless you live next door or real close and I've just never known, that's probably pushing it =P

I work tomorrow and the day after. And despite having been one of their best workers, they're strict as hell on giving anyone days off. I've been told by a lot of others I should just try to find another job. And .. they're probably right. But .. I dunno. Maybe it's the workaholic in me that doesn't want to.

... Oops, another rant ^^;;

Anyways, Friday I'll be free. I usually wake up from work days around nine to ten in the morning, sometimes sooner.

Sincerely,
Apache

It hadn't dawned on her until after she'd hit "Send" and reread the last PM .. but he hadn't used 'Apache' or 'Nothing'. He'd actually addressed her as Shania. Her cheeks went red again, smile widened ... and now a low but very giddy chuckle passed her lips. Any and all anxieties seemed to fly out of her window at that moment. She'd give anything to meet him today. He really did seem adoring and sweet. It was one of the few times she wasn't feeling any sense of a lack of confidence or faith in the male she was ... meeting.

Was dating an appropriate word to use? Sorta. They were going to be intimate.

Meh, it could be figured out in time. In fact, that was likely the best way to go about all of this; waiting. But oh, she felt like a child waiting for Christmas at this point, unwilling and not wanting to do just that. Still, it was obvious that was the only thing Shania could do.

A content sigh left as she lied upon her stomach in front of her laptop, humming softly along with the lyrics.
 
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