Gender and Sexuality Shaming at its Worst

[Dr. Nibbles]

Hello. Well aware how much this topic rustles my jimmies I expect a lot of people to be rustled as well, so without further ado: Gender and Sexuality Shaming...

What. The. Jumping. Christ. Fuck. Okay where do I even begin on this topic? Let me start where I first heard about it I suppose. If you belong to tumblr and have been on in the past 8 months or so. You may have heard the term "Die Cis Scum...". For those unaware, Cis is slang for Cisgendered. A cisgendered person is someone who identifies as they gender/sex they were assigned at birth. For example, your birth certificate says female, and you identify as a female woman.

NOW, ready you jimmies cause the rustling its about to take place. If you believe you are a STRAIGHT MALE, and you were born Male, to straight parents, and have no reason to think otherwise, you are shat on by an alarmingly large community of Trans/Bi/Gay people because you're "conforming" to what society assigned you and you don't want to be gay/bi/trans.

The irony hurts me so hard I literally can't breath. I have an aneurysm trying to wrap my head around the sexist, backwards, stupid logic that these people are using to back up their argument that people who are Straight are only straight because they're told to are idiots and should be shamed, shunned and even killed.

Look, I'm gay, or lesbian or bi whatever the fuck you want to call it. I sleep with who I am attracted to and who I love, not who I'm told to by society. Okay... so lets get that out of the way. THIS shit... makes me so angry cause it literally undoes what so many good Gay/bi/trans people have done to try and forward laws against gay prejudice. It comes from a bunch of over-privileged Liberal/Libertarian 20-something retards that think they have the whole world figured out. They continue their argument by talking about Cisgender Privilege and how society is broken down not just by gender like male and female, but is broken down further by whether the people choose to accept their born gender and sexuality or not. I can't lie that there's not validity in that statement, but believe me, I'm paraphrasing and being nice. This group is ruthless in the way they think and rather than trying to change things for the better they sit back and whine about why things are the way they are and just have become more and more bitter.

What do you guys think on this subject? Is there some validity to their statement? Am I full of shit and just blowing steam about a minor issue, or is this something the gay/les community needs to address out loud? How do you feel about Gender shaming as a whole and the topic of the term Cisgendered?

 

[Hahvoc The Decepticon]

Ciscum.

That fucking word alone is why I'm angry at these kinds of people.

 

[Vic Rattlehead]

Personally I think its hilarious and this is why I don't use Tumblr or Reddit.

 

[Ruphhausin]

And guess what, folks.. it is crap like that that gives fuel to the fire of recruitment to any and every anti-Trans/Bi/Gay group out there.

Congratulation need to be given to the idiots like that, because now groups like the Westboro "Baptist Church" will be absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for the foreseeable future to get rid of.

In an political/social/cultural sense.. they just made it clear of why the Constitution cannot be screwed with: If you "arm" one group of idiots.. you HAVE to arm them all!!!

 

[Dr. Nibbles]

Personally I think its hilarious and this is why I don't use Tumblr or Reddit.

I laughed harder than I should have at this. lol

But I'm glad to see I'm not overreacting, and that most of you feel the same way. But this brings about a new topic? How do we deal with it?

 

[Vic Rattlehead]

Personally I think its hilarious and this is why I don't use Tumblr or Reddit.

I laughed harder than I should have at this. lol

But I'm glad to see I'm not overreacting, and that most of you feel the same way. But this brings about a new topic? How do we deal with it?

I'm such a white cis male scum, that I don't what the heck is going on with the terminology.

By not giving them attention and don't take them seriously?

 

[Nekrosilisk88]

Ugh welcome to the people that make my life a nightmare is some regards. I'm furry, I'm a crossdresser, I'm straight, I'm polyamorous (but not necessarily polygamous), moderate, Christian, a bunch of labels that I use to try and explain how I see things. Are they really important in the long run. No, but because of a few whack jobs out there, every other person who uses that label, gets dragged in with them and it makes our lives more difficult. Why the fuck can't we all just live and let live?

 

[Dr. Nibbles]

Ugh welcome to the people that make my life a nightmare is some regards. I'm furry, I'm a crossdresser, I'm straight, I'm polyamorous (but not necessarily polygamous), moderate, Christian, a bunch of labels that I use to try and explain how I see things. Are they really important in the long run. No, but because of a few whack jobs out there, every other person who uses that label, gets dragged in with them and it makes our lives more difficult. Why the fuck can't we all just live and let live?

You see, my theory about combating this is to negate labels all together. Labels are INTENDED to make describing yourself easier but human nature just makes labeled people be pushed into catagories. If you eliminate labels you eliminate discrimination. Like I prefer to be called gay, even though Im technically bisexual, because saying gay just means I like the same sex, the term doesn't necessarily mean only liking the same sex; thats what Homosexual means, but thats a technical term. If we keep technical terms out of things then we don't limit ourselves.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

Ugh welcome to the people that make my life a nightmare is some regards. I'm furry, I'm a crossdresser, I'm straight, I'm polyamorous (but not necessarily polygamous), moderate, Christian, a bunch of labels that I use to try and explain how I see things. Are they really important in the long run. No, but because of a few whack jobs out there, every other person who uses that label, gets dragged in with them and it makes our lives more difficult. Why the fuck can't we all just live and let live?

You see, my theory about combating this is to negate labels all together. Labels are INTENDED to make describing yourself easier but human nature just makes labeled people be pushed into catagories. If you eliminate labels you eliminate discrimination. Like I prefer to be called gay, even though Im technically bisexual, because saying gay just means I like the same sex, the term doesn't necessarily mean only liking the same sex; thats what Homosexual means, but thats a technical term. If we keep technical terms out of things then we don't limit ourselves.

Why don't we go a step further and not limit ourselves at all to terms? Why not just illustrate your state of attraction when it becomes necessary? I mean, when you're flirting with someone of the same gender, is it necessary to tell them "hey, I'm gay/bisexual/whatever"? No. Why does it need to be a part of conversation at any other time? When does the label serve a purpose of discussion that "I am/am not attracted to this/that person" wouldn't fulfill? If I am hanging out with you as just a friend... why would a random "btw, I'm totally gay" needed to be inserted in conversation? I think, if you're talking about liking men and women you've dated or seen, at some point, I am going to understand who you're looking at. Even then, how does that affect me personally? Even if you're a straight girl and I have no knowledge of that, why is it bad/wrong to say, "Hey look at that guy or girl over there; aren't they hot?" to you? You can identify an attractive person when you see them. And if I suggest you go over and ask them out and you are not into them, wouldn't a "not interested" suffice just as well if I pointed out a guy to a straight girl but he was not someone she was interested in pursuing? Sexuality doesn't need to be this big thing. Simplify it and let's not restrict ourselves at all. Let it return to the natural thing it has always been.

 

[Raika]

Theory is all nice and well, but if we're talking about combating these types of behaviors, the only real thing you could do is ignore and move on. The idea of having a world without labels is nice and all, but it's not practical as labeling is a natural part of decision making. Labeling isn't even a bad thing. The problem is the way people react to certain labels.

You just have to accept that some humans out there are stupid, and move along, unless of course you're wanting to start a world-wide movement or something. Personally, GayPride irritates me, simply because I don't think homosexuality is something someone should be proud of. HOWEVER! I don't think they should be ashamed of it either.

I'm actually pretty accepting of LGB people as whole, might even identify myself as bisexual at times... (Still not convinced). But I really don't think it's necessary to have LGBT functions/parades. The original intention I assume was to bring awareness to the issue, and draw like-minded people out of hiding. But nowadays it feels more like a celebration of their sexuality.... is that even necessary? Should there be a heterosexual pride as well? I feel sort of childish asking that, but really, it seems like a valid point to me.

Sooner or later, people need to realize sexuality isn't something to be proud about. It's no more amazing than someone with black hair, and another with brown. The sooner people learn to accept it, the better.

I actually think things are getting better, it's just that the unpleasant ones are always the ones that stand out the most.

 

[Nekrosilisk88]

...
The problem is the way people react to certain labels.

You just have to accept that some humans out there are stupid
...
it's just that the unpleasant ones are always the ones that stand out the most.

Pretty much in a nutshell what the largest problem is. You have to be able to look a very visible portion of a group, and be able and willing to recognize that they do not represent the group as a whole. As an example, one common assumption that I'm really getting tired of is that because I'm a transvestite/crossdresser I must be gay. Are there gay crossdressers, yes, and I will grant that they are certainly more open about it to all appearances, but that doesn't mean we're all like that. However because people either won't, or refuse to acknowledge that what might be a minority of the population, doesn't apply to everyone, we end up with stereotypes, and assumptions about people that may or may not even be remotely true.

 

[Ms_Muffintops]

Yeah I had a friend on Tumblr who was like that. She was nice to me and all, but I got tired of hearing her rant about cis-sexism, cisscum, cis this, cis that, as if anyone who associates with any other gender or sexual orientation aren't capable of sexism or discrimination.

She went on this rant about how straight people and cis-gendered people need to keep their noses out of the other's issues because we could never understand the problems they go through and because of that we can't properly defend them and stand up for them.

Personally, I just see it as another angst-fest by people who want to believe that their problems are the worst and they hate seeing other's making light of the situation and being passionate instead of angry.

I'm not saying these aren't serious issues, I do think that marriage equality and fighting for people to accept other sexual orientations and genders is going to be our generations civil rights and feminist movement. But you're not going to help yourself if you're going to bash someone who is not of the said demographic for wanting to support you and help you.

We may not know what it feels like but maybe we have other issues and traits about us that society shames. Maybe we're of a commonly shamed religion, race, maybe we're overweight, mentally ill, disabled or disfigured, or covered in tattoos and piercings from head to toe. We may not have laws holding us back from certain things, but society still rejects many other demographics who aren't just cisgendered or straight, and through that, we can have a common ground.

 

[Minako2012]

Welcome to the truckstop restroom that is the Human Race.

Humans are judgemental no matter what and no one is exempt from that everyone judges to an extent. It isn't just hating on sexual orientation or lifestyle choices. My dad's favoirite saying "Opinions are like assholes everybody has one and some are louder than others". Here's the thing just ignore them honestly if you dislike an opinion scroll past. These people want the attention.

Why do people get up in arms about it? We don't get pissy when a five year old throws a tantrum we leave the room and let them cry it out. That's what these people are five year olds screaming for attention so just shut the door and let them tire themselves out.

 

[Ivory11]

just throwing in my 2 cents here.

I identify as male because i have a penis.

I identify as being a member of the White/Caucasian race because my skin is pale and my eyes are light blue.

I identify as being straight because I have gay friends, i know what they do with other guys and the thought of doing that with other men holds absolutely no appeal to me, and if i see some guy with a "ripped" 6 pack, i'm more likely to think "the babes that must draw in!" than anything else.

In the age of political correctness, being a white heterosexual male is the worst thing someone can be, but it's what i am.

you are what and who you are, and i am what and who i am, there's nothing more to it in my opinion.

 

[Dr. Nibbles]

Personally, GayPride irritates me, simply because I don't think homosexuality is something someone should be proud of. HOWEVER! I don't think they should be ashamed of it either.

I'm actually pretty accepting of LGB people as whole, might even identify myself as bisexual at times... (Still not convinced). But I really don't think it's necessary to have LGBT functions/parades. The original intention I assume was to bring awareness to the issue, and draw like-minded people out of hiding. But nowadays it feels more like a celebration of their sexuality.... is that even necessary? Should there be a heterosexual pride as well? I feel sort of childish asking that, but really, it seems like a valid point to me.

You see I feel conflicted about your statement. In some ways I agree that LBG people are glorified so much by parades and such that it almost makes them cartoony and makes light of what its supposed to represent. On the other hand it gives people a feeling of meaning, of purpose and camaraderie. To see someone so freely prance around and be free with their sexuality is important to those who aren't comfortable, many of these people would have made their connection to the community through such events.

just throwing in my 2 cents here.

I identify as male because i have a penis.

I identify as being a member of the White/Caucasian race because my skin is pale and my eyes are light blue.

I identify as being straight because I have gay friends, i know what they do with other guys and the thought of doing that with other men holds absolutely no appeal to me, and if i see some guy with a "ripped" 6 pack, i'm more likely to think "the babes that must draw in!" than anything else.

In the age of political correctness, being a white heterosexual male is the worst thing someone can be, but it's what i am.

you are what and who you are, and i am what and who i am, there's nothing more to it in my opinion.

This is sadly a true statement. I'm not gonna say white males have it hard because they honestly don't but they're blamed by every minority/gender/sexuality FOR EVERYTHING. Its kinda sad how they've become the scapegoat.

 

[Ruphhausin]

One of the few things that Oprah did that was right was her helping to bring the miniseries "The Women of Brewster Place" to television. In a scene that I quote somewhat here, I answer what is being discussed above. In an argument that Robin Givens' character is having with her mother, played beautifully by the great Cicely Tyson about accusing the mother of being ashamed of being black, she says it this way:

"Black isn't beautiful. It isn't ugly. Black is black."

No one should be ashamed of being straight, bi, gay, transgendered... nothing. Anyone.. ANYONE who tries to make anyone be ashamed of who they are have crossed a line where they are no better than the Nazis or any group like them, and it is that simple. Too often, people are scapegoated because those that are doing it don not want to own their own shit. I am not dragging another topic in here, but most issues like this are precisely where that is rooted: refusing to own your own problems and needing to project them onto other people.

 

[Rudolph Quin]

I saw something on Tumblr about this recently where the group FuckH8te or something like that was arguing with people who were asexual and pansexual that they didn't count as "identities" the way transgender, bi, and queer do. Like, they kept making points about how the asexual people had to fight for their rights and make their case just like homosexuals and transgendered people did. I think at this point, things like gay pride are supposed to encourage harmony and disperse hate and discrimination of any kind against anyone. It's about being proud to be who you are and feeling free to express your true self. About awareness and allowing others to become familiar with it because there is still a lot of stigma and people will feel threatened about things they don't know about or understand. They paved the way to becoming normal and there are still hardships but they've made it practically mainstream. It's a snowball effect now and there's no more need for defensiveness or division either within the group or without.

 

[Trygon]

Only thought:

It's nice to imagine overcoming labels, but who honestly has time to hear the nuances of how everyone self-identifies? If a guy comes on to me, it's much more concise and clear to say 'Oh, sorry, didn't realize you were gay, not my deal.' then 'Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were attracted to whatever element of physical appearance or personality that I have, not my deal.'

(Unless it is my deal. Try liquor, pretty boy, it's been known to elicit good results.)

This is why everyone's gut tightens when they use a label of that sort only to have the person respond with 'Well, actually, I'm...'

 

[LadyLarunai]

Sadly it's a case of those who feel oppressed feel they have a right to hate without any repercussions as they are a minority, some feminists ive spoken to have similar opinions, personally I went off when that stuff appeared on my twitter as I find there is no excuse for hate, oppression or not.. I have found that a lot of things have become privileges, inside the transworld there is passing privilege, a segregation by those that may not transition as easily, then cisprivilege, then male and female privilege..

Everyone seems to feel the rest of the world has it better than they do, it just seems sad when they use it to get away with hate.

 

[nanachan]

it's a backlash, to be sure. A violent one. A friend of mine tried to explain to me that this movement is justified and that cis-scum only applies to people who are hateful to transgenders, i'm not sure i understand the whole concept because i think it's just a roundabout way of lashing out.

as long as we follow wheaton's law: 'don't be a dick'

 

[Friendly Alien]

It took a year before I encountered my first radical feminist on Tumblr, and it was after that (and some digging) that I truly appreciated the Internetwide stereotype of the Tumblr userbase.

But about the "Die Cisscum" issue...

Personally, I consider it being a rather obvious sign of how some internet communities that are very insular, and not open to critique, develops their own mad logic and aggressive language and tone towards their perceived enemies. I am personally not concerned about it, because the people that spout this nonsense are insignificant and not influential BECAUSE if they where anything else they wouldn't have developed such extreme views. It follows a very common line of development. Someone is frustrated, joins a community that voices and solidifies his/her views, that someone buys the rhetoric line-and-sink, then spouts the same rhetoric as loud as the rest primarily like a preacher to his choir, if you know what I mean.

Anyone outside of this insular group that sees these threads (or rebloggs) are either victims of accidental exposure as this someone is sharing his/her ideas with others of the same opinion, or this someone is actively trying to convince people but thinks that sound really, really mad about it makes the argument more convincing.

 

[LadyYunaFFX2]

It's so ironic that the Constitution says we have freedom of religion --- and yet so many of us are almost instantly judged to our sexual preferences and orientations. It's a real shame and something I sincerely hate. I'd like to thank Hahjvoc in advance for having made this thread a while ago as it sorta goes with this, I feel.

Warning: That movie really is pretty graphic and depressing

Yet it's message is powerful all the same.

Even though society shouldn't be allowed to control what we can and can't be - especially in our sexual natures - it still does. And the toll it takes is a real shame.

How to deal with it?

Personally for myself, I give most of society the middle finger. I'm a Selectivist .. meaning I don't follow any religious or political beliefs except my own. Same with my sexuality [bicurious].

If someone doesn't like, I shrug it off, tell them 'Tough shit' ... something along those lines.

Admittedly though, the movie does show it's sometimes easier said than done to do such things.

So ... I think it all depends on how one reacts to such scenarios, unfortunately.

I can say that if we're gonna be hypocritical on 'Freedom of Religion' and other similar aspects of our daily lives, we should honestly take it out of the Constitution -- or stick to our word. It seems foolish to have that in an official document and not abide by our own words.

This is a good reason why if it weren't for the fact we'd be in complete chaos without a government, I'd almost think we'd run better without one. Almost.

Those are all just my thoughts on the subject though.

 

[Anonyman]

Hello. Well aware how much this topic rustles my jimmies I expect a lot of people to be rustled as well, so without further ado: Gender and Sexuality Shaming...

What. The. Jumping. Christ. Fuck. Okay where do I even begin on this topic? Let me start where I first heard about it I suppose. If you belong to tumblr and have been on in the past 8 months or so. You may have heard the term "Die Cis Scum...". For those unaware, Cis is slang for Cisgendered. A cisgendered person is someone who identifies as they gender/sex they were assigned at birth. For example, your birth certificate says female, and you identify as a female woman.

NOW, ready you jimmies cause the rustling its about to take place. If you believe you are a STRAIGHT MALE, and you were born Male, to straight parents, and have no reason to think otherwise, you are shat on by an alarmingly large community of Trans/Bi/Gay people because you're "conforming" to what society assigned you and you don't want to be gay/bi/trans.

The irony hurts me so hard I literally can't breath. I have an aneurysm trying to wrap my head around the sexist, backwards, stupid logic that these people are using to back up their argument that people who are Straight are only straight because they're told to are idiots and should be shamed, shunned and even killed.

Look, I'm gay, or lesbian or bi whatever the fuck you want to call it. I sleep with who I am attracted to and who I love, not who I'm told to by society. Okay... so lets get that out of the way. THIS shit... makes me so angry cause it literally undoes what so many good Gay/bi/trans people have done to try and forward laws against gay prejudice. It comes from a bunch of over-privileged Liberal/Libertarian 20-something retards that think they have the whole world figured out. They continue their argument by talking about Cisgender Privilege and how society is broken down not just by gender like male and female, but is broken down further by whether the people choose to accept their born gender and sexuality or not. I can't lie that there's not validity in that statement, but believe me, I'm paraphrasing and being nice. This group is ruthless in the way they think and rather than trying to change things for the better they sit back and whine about why things are the way they are and just have become more and more bitter.

What do you guys think on this subject? Is there some validity to their statement? Am I full of shit and just blowing steam about a minor issue, or is this something the gay/les community needs to address out loud? How do you feel about Gender shaming as a whole and the topic of the term Cisgendered?

Dr. Nibbles, I think I speak for any man who finds intelligence and a passionate explication of an opinion attractive when I say: you gave my brain an erection...

Now that being said I'll get onto the boring stuff i.e. my opinion, which I will attempt to keep brief for the sake of you the reader's time. I think its hypocritical for a group made up of a small minority who are no strangers to being shunned or assaulted by bigotry, to then use those same social tools against those in the same class as their assailants. Essentially its like the civil rights movement. Would it have gained as much momentum if they got angry like Malcolm X and were calling racist white southerners a bunch of redneck ignorant cracker retarded offspring from generations of cousin-fucking? Although that would be just, it wouldn't be effective. Passive resistance like Martin Luther King Jr. is what won the day there and I think if the anthropology repeats itself for this situation, then I think hating a bunch of heteros is nothing more than shooting themselves in the foot.

Also I'm a working-class twenty-something american whitey from a judeo-christian background if that really matters for the census or something... not sure what to call my sexuality, bi-curious to put it simply I suppose, just cause years of hentai-fueled fapping have made futanari seem like a fun option. But I'd never suck anything or put anything in my butt... So I dunno if that counts as much... Wow I wrote way more than I meant to, sorry if I ate up your time, thanks for reading~

 

[Cydramech]

They don't affect me at all unless they start violating me. It's as simple as that, really. I don't do a damn thing because of society or anyone else, but because I have my own convictions and my own brain that tries to listen to multiple people that've been around longer than I have. If they want to say it in my face, they can do that too. I don't mind, but neither does it mean that I'll fail to rebuke them nor get in their own face and deliver upon them.

But that also does not make them wise or acceptable, either. Like others said, it's hypocrisy on their part - they are a minority within a minority, attempting to tell the majority what they must or must not do in spite of the fact the minority they're part of has been on the receiving end of their tactics. It's also arrogance to tell those that outnumber you that they must be outlawed, too. Whatever your tactics or strategems, they must also match with your message and not against them.

 

[MellowYellow]

(Pictured: CIS scum)

No but for real, Tumblr is a shithole that outright encourages reverse racism, reverse sexism and heterophobia (Toward straight men at least); People like that are just far too common on that site. It's annoying, offensive, and completely works against... pretty much every major civil rights movement. But to be honest they're such a small group of people that it's better to just brush them out of your view and ignore them entirely.