Just a journal

[DJBayview]

Been a while since I've been in these parts of the internet. By no means am I the same internet personality I was back then. I don't really take any enjoyment out of trolling, egging folks on, getting a kick out of the frustrations. Doesn't mean half the people that frequent the internet aren't idiots, but I'm much more in check with just ignoring the stupid.

That being said, I moved to FL not too long ago, I'm on week 3 coming up this tuesday. Things are going pretty slow, but I spent the first 2 weeks helping family and friends of family pack/move/store stuff in warehouses. Had a wonderful walk on the beach, and I have to say it's amazing living so close to the beach. A bunch of alcoholics down here, but that's only really a problem if you're an alcoholic too and it brings up triggers. I'm not, I'll have a drink or two with dinner and let that be that. Not to say I won't go out and get smashed on a friday or saturday, cause that can be fun too. But I'm wanting to take everything in moderation, I think that's just about the best way to do anything, in moderation.

Other than that, I'm studying for my A+ exam, working on getting a full time position at a local hospital, practicing the DJ thing and also designing levels for Shadowrun Returns. [Currently on EP.1 of my own story, it's taking a while but I still have faith.] Well that's all for now, more updates to come.

 

[DJBayview]

getting tired so early. Feeling, I don't know, can't wait to start work. I don't really have a social circle down here yet and tonight feels like one of those down nights, unfortunately. Haven't had a problem with stress or any anxiety lately, but I'm starting to feel a little restless, which is natural, I want to go out and meet people, but I'm tired of only having bars as the only place for social interaction. The beach is free, which I'm grateful for, I'm thinking of starting daily bike rides.

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also where's my avatar icon?

 

[DJBayview]

I have just had the most incredible dream that I can ever remember having. A group of people, all lightly acquainted, a girl, her lover, a journalist, a scientist, and a lawyer. It starts with myself investigating strange happenstances around the world. Hauntings, demonic possessions, ect. After about halfway through the dream [the details are fading fast], I realize that the group of people were all involved in an accident, and each of them 'should' be dead. And in fact if I remember correctly at one point or another I kill each of them, and they come back somehow. I know it had something to do with inter-dimensional travel on their part and an accident they were all in on an airplane. I remember I was getting ready to board a plane to Italy when I forgot my cell phone and my mother cancelled and refunded the tickets. There was a cat, who was drinking some sort of liquid that I think was part of the remains of one of the immortals that I somehow managed to contain in a liquid form? I remember an abandoned warehouse that was very dark and not feeling fear, but interest and intrigue.

The earliest thing I remember is going to a house, back in bremerton maybe? Kind of reminded me of TJ's house, stuff everywhere. It had an attic, it was furnished, nice, clean; this is where the boy came from, it's where he went back to. The owners were scared because they kept hearing their boy crying but he had died sometime ago. The cries were echoes, this is where he first broke through dimensions, and part of his soul had broken off because of the trauma and remained attached to the spot.

Next was an airport, a pilot? Maybe it was the lawyer, or the girl. I can't remember, I must have woken up around here for the first time. The airport is where I realized what was happening. I remember a hotel room, maybe an apartment. This is where the girl and her lover lived. I can't remember if I took the place of her lover or not, I remember a strong connection, a desire to do anything to protect this girl. I don't remember her face or body, but I remember imprints, constantly changing imprints on the bed. As if I was looking at the bed from a few feet away.

The rooftops are more clear, and I remember now that after the transition into the alternate dimensions the group of people developed special powers. And now that I was one of them. I never saw myself, but I kept referring to myself as a 'male succubus'. But it was purely in jest, my visage was twisted, distorted, my skin hardened and spiked. The girl was invisible? Her lover, I can't remember. The lawyer was almost that of a gargoyle, stone skin, winged, incredibly fast and strong. And there was another, gooey, spectral, the one I turned into liquid and contained for some reason. The girl... no... the girl was a dragon. A human/dragon hybrid that was so incredibly beautiful to behold.

Each had their own agendas after the accident. I remember imploring them to preserve the natural balance of the world, that what happened to us was an accident, and certainly there would be consequences for breaching such a barrier. They would have none of it. Some listened, the boy, he just wanted to go home. But he was probably the most powerful of us all, the others trying to manipulate him. Myself trying to save him, some of the others siding with me.

The last thing I remember is back at the airport, the cat drinking the liquid guy, myself feeling dread from it [I imagine he's pissed], and we all get on the flight. Then the weirdest shit, all of the characters from the dream are on the same plane. They all look like they did in their human forms, and everyone bursts out singing "Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high... just take a look, it's in a book, reading rainbow." But I mean, with harmonies, full blown broadway production status. Then I woke up, the shit had gotten just too weird.



I forgot a LOT of details, and I mean... A LOT. It was like a 7 hour movie in my head. SO vivid, so real, I want to go back, I want to experience more of what this beautiful story has to offer. I can only hope that this becomes one of my recurring dreams, I have a couple. And I want to continue this dream journal, so I can remember it to the best of my ability.

 

[Hahvoc The Decepticon]

Vivid dreams are always the weirdest. I've had a few that were "Blind dreams" in which, I felt like I was walking and driving places, knew everyone I was talking to, but the dream was just BLACK.

Spooky shit. Also, lucid dreaming sucks.

 

[DJBayview]

Lucid dreaming is the 'best' dreaming. Nothing like being within your own mind, knowing it's only a dream, and then learning how to control it. From what I've read dream journals help with lucid dreaming, it's training your mind to recognize you are dreaming and then controlling the dream for your own pleasure and fun.

Other than that, news update: Intro and overview of my A+ course is finished. Only a few minor mistakes on the course overview quiz, nothing that wasn't silly and easily remembered afterwards however. Now I get into the interesting stuff. First real course is preventative maintenance, something I really could learn more about.

 

[DJBayview]

2:30 am in the east. You know a great role model of mine once said, "Nothing good ever happens after 3am." Or was it 4? I can't remember, but either way, it's getting close to that time, and I think sleep is quite near. I hope I may awake in the morning, my dreams great, excellent, and memorable. I hope tomorrow is a better day than today. And I hope myself, and those I care about manage to progress themselves in some form. I love life, and I don't really want it to end just yet. My faith is shaky, my fears many. I am stressed, concerned, and troubled a great deal these days. But, I think I can overcome my fears and even one day face death without fear and with courage.

Until then, I'm a coward.