__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
--S n o w
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. . . Documents of a s p l i t . . .
- Thread starter __N o v i.S n o w
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OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Re: N.S. just might be M I A
Okay so I'm back now, hope I didn't take THAT long.... I got all my unfinished work in..and I think I'm passing again. XD With a D...but passing nonetheless. Oh and to celebrate my return, my friggan hair is red.
Okay so I'm back now, hope I didn't take THAT long.... I got all my unfinished work in..and I think I'm passing again. XD With a D...but passing nonetheless. Oh and to celebrate my return, my friggan hair is red.
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Re: N.S. just might be M I A
November here again... -sighs- I'm feeling slightly down at the moment, and I need to vent a bit. I really let people supposedly close to my heart get to me too much. Lately it seems that whenever a person says something slightly offending to me I take it to a whole 'nother level. I don't know what's been going on with me lately. I'm highly emotional as of now I guess. I guess it's because normally I'm a nice person willing to do anything for a person that I really find to be extraordinary... and when they turn around and kind of toss my feelings and problems to the side it really breaks my heart. And it seems when I get mad they want to play the fucking victim game like I'm the problem. Here I am willing to do anything, doing all I can to make their life better, practically discarding my own....and they just disregard my feelings all together. Okay so if anyone is reading this you may have noticed that as you read my "problem" has went from they to just one person. Bare with me, I'm typing as I think...heh >.< Anyhow, I really think it's stupid for them not to consider the things that make me act a little out of line sometimes. For one I have a multiple personality disorder, an anger problem, emotional issues, and well I tend to zone out a lot. For example if someone were talking to me and I completely missed what they were saying, it wasn't cause' I wasn't listening, it was because I zone out, my brain wandered off leaving me stranded. I don't do it on purpose it just happens. And to top it all off my memory isn't the best at times.
Anyway, it's like despite all the good things I do, when I get over emotional because of my shitty life it becomes a problem for them and they want to get an attitude and point out all the shitty stuff I might have done like: snapped at them for no reason, started an argument for my amusement, or maybe I was just too playful and annoyed them to death. It's like they take things too seriously, or to heart too much. I get a little upset with that but I don't complain and make em' feel like shit. But when I take shit to heart it's like the end of the world. Like the great fucking November can't get her feelings hurt. Sure I can be a heartless bastard at times out to hurt someone but that is only if they have hurt me severely. I'm always cutting niggas breaks and shit but you know what all that is about to come to an end. I'm tired of being nice and getting my feelings stepped all on. I hate crying, and every time someone tosses me away like I'm worthless I want to. It's pathetic I know.
Perhaps I shouldn't have opened myself at all. Perhaps I should have stayed the heartless, cold shoulder giving bitch I used to be when everyone's problems meant shit to me. -sigh- And another thing that gets me fucking pissed is that, they know these problems I have because I told them, and yet they still don't know how to deal, and or accept me. It really pisses me off. I really do hate the person I've become. It's a shame, but nonetheless that's how it is. -sighs- But now that I have vented I feel somewhat better now. Still depressed, but less like I want to cry. God I hate crying. I think I should just start disregarding their feelings...tossing them to the side....criticizing their very being...exploiting every flaw they have until they feel as fucked as I do.
Anyway, it's like despite all the good things I do, when I get over emotional because of my shitty life it becomes a problem for them and they want to get an attitude and point out all the shitty stuff I might have done like: snapped at them for no reason, started an argument for my amusement, or maybe I was just too playful and annoyed them to death. It's like they take things too seriously, or to heart too much. I get a little upset with that but I don't complain and make em' feel like shit. But when I take shit to heart it's like the end of the world. Like the great fucking November can't get her feelings hurt. Sure I can be a heartless bastard at times out to hurt someone but that is only if they have hurt me severely. I'm always cutting niggas breaks and shit but you know what all that is about to come to an end. I'm tired of being nice and getting my feelings stepped all on. I hate crying, and every time someone tosses me away like I'm worthless I want to. It's pathetic I know.
Perhaps I shouldn't have opened myself at all. Perhaps I should have stayed the heartless, cold shoulder giving bitch I used to be when everyone's problems meant shit to me. -sigh- And another thing that gets me fucking pissed is that, they know these problems I have because I told them, and yet they still don't know how to deal, and or accept me. It really pisses me off. I really do hate the person I've become. It's a shame, but nonetheless that's how it is. -sighs- But now that I have vented I feel somewhat better now. Still depressed, but less like I want to cry. God I hate crying. I think I should just start disregarding their feelings...tossing them to the side....criticizing their very being...exploiting every flaw they have until they feel as fucked as I do.
iKitten
Supernova
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
-hugs-
Hey, luvvie, first thing? Donâ??t hate that you cry. I mean, everyone hates the feeling of weakness, but crying only reminds you that you still can feel, rather than be a â??heartless bitchâ??. That goes with any emotions, but tears and being upset are strong emotions that, without, you forget what the excitement and happiness is like.
Secondly, Iâ??m sorry to hear that people are shitty to you at the time. From an outsiderâ??s view, hating who youâ??ve become (for various reasons) can be viewed as a good thing as well. It provides a start where you may build change to the personality and character you want to be.
The internet buddies are here to back you up on however you wish to change (metaphorically)? <3
-provides e-shoulder to lean on-
Hey, luvvie, first thing? Donâ??t hate that you cry. I mean, everyone hates the feeling of weakness, but crying only reminds you that you still can feel, rather than be a â??heartless bitchâ??. That goes with any emotions, but tears and being upset are strong emotions that, without, you forget what the excitement and happiness is like.
Secondly, Iâ??m sorry to hear that people are shitty to you at the time. From an outsiderâ??s view, hating who youâ??ve become (for various reasons) can be viewed as a good thing as well. It provides a start where you may build change to the personality and character you want to be.
The internet buddies are here to back you up on however you wish to change (metaphorically)? <3
-provides e-shoulder to lean on-
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
-leans on e-shoulder-
Crying sux tho....even if it makes me feel somewhat better. But anyhow thnx for the pep talk. Made me feel better. ^^
Crying sux tho....even if it makes me feel somewhat better. But anyhow thnx for the pep talk. Made me feel better. ^^
TheDarkerMe
Supernova
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2009
- Location
- Oregon
Talk to me sometime soon love! I miss you. *kisses on the cheek* Come give me a visit, sweetheart.
psychobilly-night
Supernova
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2010
Hey dont cry girl. *pats shoulder* I know how you feel. If you need someone to talk just send me a PM or something ^^.
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
-waves hand- Kay Darker!! -hugs-
-Smiles at Juggalo- Thnx. I will keep that in mind the next time I feel so....down. :3 -huggles-
-Smiles at Juggalo- Thnx. I will keep that in mind the next time I feel so....down. :3 -huggles-
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
You know what fucking irks me? When someone drives me so fucking insane. So insane that I go from yelling at them, to hitting, to yelling again, and then to so pissed that I'm talking calm, and there are no longer words going through my brain but fifty ways on how to shut em' up permanently. Then I get to the point where I'm just quiet and say nothing until they leave me be. Sometimes it gets so bad that I start talking to myself aloud. Like I already do it as is, but when I'm pissed it's like full blown conversation. I find it real fucking annoying how they come back to me trying to make me not fucking mad at them, and when I don't speak, they ask the infamous question "Are you mad at me?" What the hell do you think? You've irked me to the point where I'm talking to myself, or staring into the space. God it pisses me off. And people wonder why I stay to myself all the time. However besides that part, I'm feeling not bad. My day was okay.sorta. XD Heh, I'm finally not in the bathroom for a change.
TheDarkerMe
Supernova
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2009
- Location
- Oregon
Get online hun, I'd like to chitter with you in messenger and makes you feel betters.
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Kay~
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
CANDY CANES AND LOLLIPOPS!
OMIGOD Snow's back and feeling bubbly than ever. I spent the whole weekend with my BFF while babysitting three demon children. I've been screaming since 9am to well let's say 8pm to get the kids to hush up. Goodness they talk too much, cry too much, and are bad. XD However I've seen worse days with my sister's children...not only that I had my BFF there to see that crazy shit that they do, so I wasn't feeling to crazy... Oh and I just seen the Repo the genetic opera and it's really kewl. If you liked Sweeney Todd...Horror mixed w/singing, a dark atmosphere and twists, and cliffhangers you'll love Repo! Anyhoo I've got a friggan headache and I might or might not reply to rps tonight. If I don't then I'll get to them tomorrow.... ^_^
--S n o w
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Okay so well, maybe I wasn't friggan back. SHIIIIT~ Still stuck babysitting at my sis's.....she doesn't have a computer so I can't use it. And the last couple days when I got on at like twelve to try and reply and whatever my stomach has been killing me. But hopefully tonight, when I get back I'll be able to kick out a couple replies. GOMENASAI MINA-SAN! -bows...and poofs into black smoke-
--S n o w
p.s Aishiteru~ <33
--S n o w
p.s Aishiteru~ <33
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Oh fuck me.
How's that for an intro? Anyhow, I might not be on until the weekend, starting friday or saturday perhaps. I'm so sorry for the delays guys.
--S n o w
--S n o w
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
F I N A L L Y :
Ah, well I'm finally back now. Hopefully~ anyhow, I'm starting my glorious return off with replies to pms and rps and whatnot. ^_^ Sorry for the wait, loves <33
-- S n o w
-- S n o w
iKitten
Supernova
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
. . .November[S n o w] said:
Had fun Babysitting? O.O;
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Lolz. XD A little kittem. :3
And, yesh, I'm glad I'm back as well Liynn.
It's the best thing ever made in the world. Chocolate makes everything taste better.... besides lickerish.... Anyhow it's also the worst. When you haven't had it in a long time it's real addicting. I picked up a hershey bar w/almonds and then had the sudden urge to buy a snickers and some other candy bar I dun remember the name of. All I knew about it was that it was chocolate. I took one bite out of that hershey bar....and just...melted into bliss. I had to go to another store, and they had a vast aisle of chocolate so I bought a king sized hershey bar w/almonds and a big pack of reeses. I wanted to buy the huge pack of m&m's but I finally remembered what I was in the store for and decided not to and now I'm kind of regretting it. I think I'll buy em' later. Another thing I'm craving is chinese[american XD corner store stuff] food. Been eating it all week but can't get enough of it. Shrimp fried rice is meh fave.
I ish getting off for a bit. My living quarters looks like complete shit. Not being home like I should....left it kinda junky....welll no very junky.
And, yesh, I'm glad I'm back as well Liynn.
Chocolate
Entry:
It's the best thing ever made in the world. Chocolate makes everything taste better.... besides lickerish.... Anyhow it's also the worst. When you haven't had it in a long time it's real addicting. I picked up a hershey bar w/almonds and then had the sudden urge to buy a snickers and some other candy bar I dun remember the name of. All I knew about it was that it was chocolate. I took one bite out of that hershey bar....and just...melted into bliss. I had to go to another store, and they had a vast aisle of chocolate so I bought a king sized hershey bar w/almonds and a big pack of reeses. I wanted to buy the huge pack of m&m's but I finally remembered what I was in the store for and decided not to and now I'm kind of regretting it. I think I'll buy em' later. Another thing I'm craving is chinese[american XD corner store stuff] food. Been eating it all week but can't get enough of it. Shrimp fried rice is meh fave.
I ish getting off for a bit. My living quarters looks like complete shit. Not being home like I should....left it kinda junky....welll no very junky.
iKitten
Supernova
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
D8
Fake Chinese food?! Come over and I'll feed you REAL Asian food! -stuffs with more fried rice-
Oh, and yes, chocolate is rather addictive. But it's good in small quantities, and releases endomorphines to make you all happy~ (at least, I think that was the chemical it helps release. You know, the feel good hormones)
Fake Chinese food?! Come over and I'll feed you REAL Asian food! -stuffs with more fried rice-
Oh, and yes, chocolate is rather addictive. But it's good in small quantities, and releases endomorphines to make you all happy~ (at least, I think that was the chemical it helps release. You know, the feel good hormones)
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
lolz. Fake Chinese food... Anyhoo, I would love to actually taste the real stuff. But until then, I'll stick with the kind directed exclusively toward black people. XDD Hehee, the feel good hormones.
.A R M O R E D R I N G.
Chyea I got one. I call it that cuz' that's what it looks like. Also changed my hair color to black and brown. And er...weird angle cuz' my friend had my cam for a while and well....yeah it's been a while. Um...I've been in a stabilized mood lateleh...everything has been going smoothly I suppose. Oh yeah and my bell is back. Been missing it like crazy. Now all I need is ears and a tail. Anyhow, -sighs while trying to get back on topic- I hope everyone has been enjoying the posts I've been pushing out. Whoo! writer's block has been trying to consume me...and the late stress of baby sitting wasn't helping. But anyways...for the most part I'm officially back and shouldn't be taking any more extra long ass breaks.
.A R M O R E D R I N G.
Chyea I got one. I call it that cuz' that's what it looks like. Also changed my hair color to black and brown. And er...weird angle cuz' my friend had my cam for a while and well....yeah it's been a while. Um...I've been in a stabilized mood lateleh...everything has been going smoothly I suppose. Oh yeah and my bell is back. Been missing it like crazy. Now all I need is ears and a tail. Anyhow, -sighs while trying to get back on topic- I hope everyone has been enjoying the posts I've been pushing out. Whoo! writer's block has been trying to consume me...and the late stress of baby sitting wasn't helping. But anyways...for the most part I'm officially back and shouldn't be taking any more extra long ass breaks.
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
S t a y i n g H o m e
I hate when someone is going somewhere and they ask me to come with. They know I take forever in the bathroom, I'm like a perfectionist, y'know--gotta look my best for when I'm going out with someone to represent myself and them as well. So anyhow, an incident just happened to me a couple minutes ago. Me and my 'Bf' were going to his uncle's house and he asked me if I wanted to come. So I said chyea. Anyhow I get in the bathroom about five minutes or so after he did and I immediately started on my hair, cuz the way I have it now takes longer than normal to do. So, as always I've gotta be perfect with every detail. And so once I was finished and I go into the room, he's all 'finally'. I'm like wat? Then he's like, you know he has to pick up his wife? And I say why didn't you tell me? First he says you knew that already. And yes I did, but when I went into the bathroom I failed to take notice of the time, cuz' I was trying to rush. Plus it was raining and it is a friday, and my mixed up brain figured perhaps his uncle's wife didn't have work today~I hate rain on the weekends and so well yeah I assume everyone else does too.
Then he starts going on and on about how every time he rushes me I blow em' off and still take forever~which I think is a boldfaced fucking lie. With me, when you notice time flying and I'm still obsessing over my looks in the bathroom, it's best to nag me over and over. But for some reason he doesn't fucking get that, he just says it's best to let you learn. And I'm like, I could care less if I'm late for anything. As long as I'm satisfied with what I did in the bathroom I don't giva shit bout' anything. Anyway I go back to the compy, while talking to my mom about not wanting to leave anymore. Then like a minute or two later, he comes in the room saying are you going? I'm like no. He's all why you didn't tell me...I'm all waiting n'stuff. And I'm like I told my mom, I assumed you heard. I should have said, well you know every time I get mad I don't go anywhere with you~ -sighs-
Well that's the end of my ranting for now. So anyhow I'm staying home now. Which is cool, perhaps I can find something to cure my writer's block with. Sorry to everyone whose reply is taking forever. My brain's being an ass again >.<;; Oh, on like the eighth I went to an orchestra to see my friend sing in the choir and I almost cried. I dunno if it's cuz I'm a big softee at times but, yeah the music was so good there it had me bobbing my head, and tears rimming my eyes. And the songs the choir sang were awesome. My head was spinning with music notes, and I was just losing myself in the moment, especially during the finale when the orchestra plaid and the choir sing. The conductors, especially the conductor of the choir were just awesome, always feeling the music...
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
OMG
I'm finally able to get on. My e-net has been acting really freaky on me~ and hath prevented me from really being able to get on here and I was so fucking bored. Anyhow, I've got to go out now, but when I get back at whatever time in the morning from babaysitting I shall be active again.
--S n o w
p.s.. So sorry for the delays guys. XOXO
--S n o w
p.s.. So sorry for the delays guys. XOXO
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
.H o w L o v e l y.
I've gotten sick. A stomach bug I presume. My littlelest nephew passed to me. Ah....I feel like complete shit which would explain my absences. However, I will try and start posting as I'm not gonna let this stomach ache...and sore body stop my creative flow.
-- S n o w
I've gotten sick. A stomach bug I presume. My littlelest nephew passed to me. Ah....I feel like complete shit which would explain my absences. However, I will try and start posting as I'm not gonna let this stomach ache...and sore body stop my creative flow.
-- S n o w
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
Guess WHAT?!
I've, inevitably, have gotten a slight bit of writer's block. Please forgive me for any overdue posts while I try to get back my creative flow.~
I've, inevitably, have gotten a slight bit of writer's block. Please forgive me for any overdue posts while I try to get back my creative flow.~
OP
OP
__N o v i.S n o w
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2009
I've come to the conclusion . . .
That my computer is an old fart and needs to be put out of it's misery. God, it's been kicking and screaming for about eight years now....surviving viruses...dust...drops..spyware...and other evil shit that tries to screw your operating system up. Anyhow, I think it's time to put my favorite gateway creation out of commission....and replace it with another... -cries- Ah well...it's been a hectic, yet fun eight years and still counting [doesn't know when she'll be able to put up money for said new computer] but in any case...I'll start preparing right away because I don't know how much drama with this temperamental baby I'll be able to take. Everyday I'm getting closer and closer to spontaneously catching fire out of frustration for it. I love my techy to death but...it's time it get put to rest... Anyyyyyhow...that's my rant for tonight...
-- S n o w
That my computer is an old fart and needs to be put out of it's misery. God, it's been kicking and screaming for about eight years now....surviving viruses...dust...drops..spyware...and other evil shit that tries to screw your operating system up. Anyhow, I think it's time to put my favorite gateway creation out of commission....and replace it with another... -cries- Ah well...it's been a hectic, yet fun eight years and still counting [doesn't know when she'll be able to put up money for said new computer] but in any case...I'll start preparing right away because I don't know how much drama with this temperamental baby I'll be able to take. Everyday I'm getting closer and closer to spontaneously catching fire out of frustration for it. I love my techy to death but...it's time it get put to rest... Anyyyyyhow...that's my rant for tonight...
-- S n o w