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- Joined
- Feb 19, 2011
- Location
- Chicopee Falls, Massachusetts
With nowhere near the fanfare which accompanied other Internet maladies in recent years, e.g. the late and unlamented "I Love You" virus, two new designer viruses, the "Homeland Security" and the "FBI" viruses, have surfaced from whatever level of Hell their creators call home to bedevil us. They were designed and crafted to prod our individual bugaboos - Homeland Security (think TSA) and the FBI, those wonderful guys who rummage through your garbage in the wee hours of the morning on trash day.
Each virus pops up an ineradicable screen with the logo of the Department of Homeland Security, with I-shit-you-not Donna Napolitano's picture, or the seal of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, purporting to inform you that you have been "guilty" of internet child pornography, or spamming, or "being a hacker" - the dirge goes on. But wait!, as they say on television, there's a way out! You can buy an Internet Money Order from one of several (named) drugstore chains, for I think four hundred dollars, and type the code in to the tidy little box they've provided within 48 hours (a counter ticks down the hours, minutes and seconds in red "digital" numbers), thereby avoiding prosecution. If you fail to comply in the time specified, the G-men will come a-knocking soon after. It goes on to specify the amount of jail time you could receive, as well as penalties for repeat violations.
Now, do you knuckle under and fork over the cash? NO!! Somebody in the Third World will be four hundred richer and your computer will NOT magically fix itself. Ever.
So: what to do? I thought y'all would never ask! Unless you are a graduate ELECTRICAL engineer with a minor in Computer Science, or at the very least a current and practicing A-plus certified computer repairman, in which cases you already know what to do, you should immediately unplug your computer and take it to a guy with a good local reputation who has one (or both) of these qualifications, and a couple of days and about a hundred dollars later, you are "cured". He will tell you what to do to make it more difficult for these cyber-wretches to diddle you again. Listen to him. Take notes.
Make no mistake: this IS the voice of experience talking. Dey got me, I gua-ran-tee! And like a dumb fool I tried to fix it myself. And like the text on the screen warned: bad things happened. Words to the wise.
Each virus pops up an ineradicable screen with the logo of the Department of Homeland Security, with I-shit-you-not Donna Napolitano's picture, or the seal of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, purporting to inform you that you have been "guilty" of internet child pornography, or spamming, or "being a hacker" - the dirge goes on. But wait!, as they say on television, there's a way out! You can buy an Internet Money Order from one of several (named) drugstore chains, for I think four hundred dollars, and type the code in to the tidy little box they've provided within 48 hours (a counter ticks down the hours, minutes and seconds in red "digital" numbers), thereby avoiding prosecution. If you fail to comply in the time specified, the G-men will come a-knocking soon after. It goes on to specify the amount of jail time you could receive, as well as penalties for repeat violations.
Now, do you knuckle under and fork over the cash? NO!! Somebody in the Third World will be four hundred richer and your computer will NOT magically fix itself. Ever.
So: what to do? I thought y'all would never ask! Unless you are a graduate ELECTRICAL engineer with a minor in Computer Science, or at the very least a current and practicing A-plus certified computer repairman, in which cases you already know what to do, you should immediately unplug your computer and take it to a guy with a good local reputation who has one (or both) of these qualifications, and a couple of days and about a hundred dollars later, you are "cured". He will tell you what to do to make it more difficult for these cyber-wretches to diddle you again. Listen to him. Take notes.
Make no mistake: this IS the voice of experience talking. Dey got me, I gua-ran-tee! And like a dumb fool I tried to fix it myself. And like the text on the screen warned: bad things happened. Words to the wise.