~*Blood's Rantings and Ravings*~

[Bloodkiss]

So...I'm pretty much so bored spinal fluid is shooting out of my nose. So I'm going to start a journal.

I will write whatever the hell I feel like writing.

**Read it at your own risk. I'm not responsible for spontaneous combustion, bleeding eyes, exploding heads, or constipation caused by your viewing this incredibly boring journal.​

 

[Bloodkiss]

Count the raindrops that fall outside your window. For each one, I lost a part of my soul to you. Your love tore me open, ripped me apart. And unfortunately, your love can't sew me back together. Perhaps there is someone who can, but you never will. So leave me what little I have left, the shattered pieces of my soul, and dissapear.

There was so much you did, and so little you could do. You can't fix what you broke, so go. While there is still enough of me to fix, go.​

 

[Bloodkiss]

I don't want to write you a crappy love song, or a stupid poem. You deserve so much more than that. You fixed the unfixable, mended the torn and tortured. And for that, you deserve so much more.

To think, I hated you when we met. I wanted none of your silly romance. I wouldn't be wooed.
But you found a way, past the guard and through the jagged shards of a wounded heart. You found your way and started picking up the pieces left behind by another.

You didn't mind that I was too proud to admit my wounds.
You didn't mind that I didn't want you.
You found a way to make things better.

And for that, you deserve so much more than a terrible song or a horrid poem. So I'll do the best that I can, and give you all that I can.

I'll give you my heart, unguarded, and hope that it's enough.

I'll give you all of me, and pray to every god there is that it will be enough.

I'll love you for the rest of time, and with every ounce of myself.

And still you deserve so much more...​

 

[Bloodkiss]

I hate being bored...So much...

 

[Bloodkiss]

I have forgiven you. But know this: He basks in the glow of a light you tried to extinguish. He delights in joys you never knew.

I have forgiven you for mistreating me. We were both too young, too foolish, this I understand. I did not have the confidence I do now. I did not have self-worth or appreciation for the work of art that I am. I did not defend my own honor.

I know now what I did not know then, when I let you conquer me, destroy everything that I was. After recovering, I realized that I am beautiful, more than anyone else you will ever find. I possess more personality than any empty-headed girl you will lay hands on. I have a smile to light up a room. I have breath-taking eyes, and a vast soul behind them.

I am the same, and different in so many ways from the shy, self-loathing girl you hurt. I have blossomed, and I flourish now as I was never able to in your care. I am able to make my own decisions, to fight my own battles and win them.

I physically and emotionally stronger. I am more feminine, and yet I know without doubt that I could now defend myself against any of your slutty little puppets. I can wear high-heels, and throw a punch like any man.

I have become acutely aware of my talents, as you never were. I sing out now, without reservation, without fear of being judged, and my voice is appreciated. I can walk across the stage now without fearing judgement. And I use the impossible myriad emotions that you forced on me to my advantage. When the actress in me is called on to portray a tortured sould, I am certain that I am performing without flaw. And yet, I am whole again. I was able to put back the pieces with help, and my heart is whole and happy. I am optimistic and open-hearted, despite your treatment of me.

I write this, knowing full-well that the chances of your eyes settling on it are slim to none. But it is written. In case you should ever read this, know this: I write this in the hopes that you will feel the pain I once felt. I write this not in hope, but in certainty, that you will not ever meet someone as perfect in imperfection as I. Your chance has passed, and someone far more worthy now cradles my heart.