Constructive criticism (Not cuntstructive.)

[UltraMechaStalin]

This is the thread for any feedback on my extended story: Theft, Treason, and Adultery.

I seriously plan on working the story into a book, so please post serious criticism only.


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Thar is the story.

 

[Red]

-is gonna watch over this thread for loooong time- <w <
well, what to say, i love the idea