boundaries

[Teojames]

Hi,

I am shy at roleplaying sexual games in public but would like to do private. But more than that, I would still like to be friends with the people I roleplay with and while I love smut - I like writing with details.

If you were to tell me what are NOs NOs in developing friendships with erotic roleplayers, what would you say?

 

[darkangel76]

Firstly, as someone who is a bit shy, you do have a couple of options for your actual RPs. We have the Semiprivate section on the boards which is visible only to those who are members. Members have to be logged in to see anything written in there, so posts ans threads are NOT visible to the general public or anyone who happens to be a 'guest' wanting to browse. Then, there's also the PM-RPing.

As for developing friendships with your writing partners, that will vary from person to person. Some like to develop friendships, some don't. You'll have to play that totally by ear as you discuss things and as things progress with your RP. One key thing, however... ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR RP PARTNER IS NOT THE PERSON/CHARACTER IN THE RP YOU ARE WRITING! I think so long as you keep that in mind, you're fine and lines won't get blurred. What happens after that is, again, between you and your writing partner. Just make sure you communicate often and if you ever feel unsure about something to... ask them.

 

[Teojames]

Thank you darkangel; when I was a kid, I remember writing a story called "Wrath of the Dark Angel".

Anyways, many rp blessings upon you.

 

[Rea]

I'd like to add that you should never ask for personal details from other writers. Some are just as shy, and don't want to mix their personal life in with their secret life. I don't need all the people I work with knowing I like to write sex sometimes. So, unless they offer up the information, don't except it, or ask for it. Don't go asking for cell phone numbers, addresses, or even instant messenging ID's. If you wish to converse over IM, suggest it, but don't demand their username.

As for making friends, just talk to them, like darkangel76 said. Ask how they think the roleplay is going, if there's anything they'd like to mention, or have changed. Ask what kind of roleplays they like best. Just talk to them, become acquaintances, and friendship follows.

I like to have an OOC set up for my roleplays, so we can chat and discuss things without interrupting the flow of the actual posts. OOC is the best way to meet, and become friends, with others.​

 

[Ms_Muffintops]

I'd suggest taking it one step at a time. First accept that you will run into people who will not really want to be friends with you. Just don't take it personally if you get a RP partner who doesn't want to be your friend or doesn't talk to you much. Everyone is here for different reasons.

And as DA said, your rp partner and their character are not the same person. So if your characters are in a romance, it doesn't not reflect their relationship with you. You have to treat RPs and talking as 2 different things. It's much like becoming friends with a co-worker or classmate. You start off with your common ground (the RP) and through forced interactions (like asking for ideas or feedback for the RP) you slowly get to talk, but you still have that small talk time, and RP time. Then more and more you open up and become friends, but still keep it separate. I can have a rather raunchy scene going on with a RP partner in our RP, but while that's going on, we're PMing each other talking about school.