Hope it's good for everyone else. I don't much care for it and am not really doing anything. Not a party person - not that I have any friends who live close enough to go and party with anyway. So I'm fine with just being by myself, listening to music(right now the full Shadow of the Collosus OST), maybe watch some videos. Got some subscriptions on youtube to catch up on and want to watch a lot of Game Grumps videos I've yet to see. Might draw something to go on deviantart since it's been almost three months since I've done anything with it.
Honestly I hope 2013 turns out to be much better, but my hopes aren't too high. 2012 sucked. Still no new job despite applying to as many places as I could as often as possible, the only exception being job offers out of town and too far to travel to. I'd give anything for any job, and yet I'm called lazy and a bum and told that if I really wanted one I'd have one. Obviously that has not been the case for the past 2-3 years now. Have even volunteered at a few places and put up with people who seemed hostile towards me for whatever reasons I don't understand in hopes of getting some kind of good reference. Unfortunately my sister who'd come with me doesn't seem to understand that what the boss says, goes, and if you don't like it you can leave.
Losing weight hasn't been particularly fun. I understand that it's my fault and that I'm just making excuses, but others have told me that you're supposed to start feeling better eventually when eating right and being more active. Have been eating healthier and working out near every day since maybe August or September and have only felt incredibly tired. Slacking off during the holidays has gotten me feeling better, actually, with the exception of once again being over 200 pounds.
One person, who I hesitate to call a "friend" at all and who I've known since I was 13, has proven to me that she does not deserve any of my attention. If there was any person who ever deserved the title of "emotional tampon", she would be the one. Truly a selfish and narrow minded person, and not just because of what she's done to me recently or in the past, but how I've seen her act towards other people, as if they are just tools to help her get over her own issues. I do my best to give others the benefit of the doubt and understand no one's perfect, but it's come to a point where I feel used and it's just a one way street, and the moment I make a mistake I get bitched out for it. So she's out of my life for good now. The next time she comes back(she always does) I hope I'll be able to ignore her entirely. I don't mean any offense to those who really have been diagnosed as narcissistic, but she takes the cake.
Not that it's all been bad. One of the worse years of my life, but not completely terrible. I still have parents I can rely on, and even though we weren't able to exchange gifts this year, I'm still glad to have a roof over my head, some food, heating, etc. Obama won the election, which I personally think is a good thing. Since my grandfather died in November of 2011, my grandmother's been able to relax and let others look after her instead of taking care of him all the time.
I know who my true friends are, or at least hope I do. Our relationships are not contingent on stupid **** such as how much use I am to them; people are not a commodity and are more than the sum of their parts. Have met a few new people, too, though I don't talk to them as much as I'd like. Guess it's an opportunity to learn to do away with my obsessive tendencies. Still hoping TessaJade reads this so she'll get on aim more often.
Had a free job skills class. Didn't help me to actually get a ob(or hasn't yet?), but it was a fun three weeks in late spring spent at the community college my sister goes to. Probably the only time I ever felt glad about attending any form of school, and I was homeschooled most of my life. Passed it without much effort, too. Too bad my classmates haven't kept in touch like they said they would. Come to think of it, this was just before that "friend" came back into my life and **** started hitting the fan.
Between friends being overly generous(despite me telling them not to spend a dime on me) and Gamestop, there've been lots of games I've got the chance to play this year. Lollipop Chainsaw, Halo 4, Skyrim, Saints Row 3, Jet Set Radio, MGS HD collection(mostly for Peace Walker), probably some others I'm forgetting. Maybe Lost Odessey soon, but then that'll be 2013. Sadly no WiiU but I'm not sure I'd want it yet anyway. One friend even got me this game when I jokingly asked for it, so it's on its way in the mail:
Bestest game ever
Finally turned 21, so guess I can buy beer and drink legally. Not that I have money to buy it with, but if I do eventually get a job I'm going to have to have self control.
Sorry. Don't mean to be a downer or to rant. Maybe I shoulda turned this into a journal.
Just hope next year is better in at least some way. Perhaps if I get any of these resolutions done it can happen:
-Get fit or at least learn to be comfortable with my weight.
-Get a job or a way to support myself on my own.
-Learn not to fall in love with anyone and forget about those who I have already.
Probably could think of more...to be less lazy.
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