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To Be Famous After It All Burned Down [Gumdrop x Hahvoc]

Hahvoc The Decepticon

Hahvoc The Decepticon

Singularity
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
"What is the matter with you! You were fine being with me and now you're suddenly changing your mind?! What is going on, Jason!"

It was that same old dream again, the one that kept plaguing him after a rough night of drinking and trying to make music. Some nights he just stayed up until his band mates told him to get some rest and even then it was rough going. The pain was more like a burn than a bleeding wound now, but still that old ache caught up with him now and again when someone made him remember why he had left Sanford after he had graduated high school. It was funny. No one thought he would leave that town. Then again, no one had thought he would graduate. He proved them all wrong.

Vax Tovarin had finally started making a name for himself and was touring with his band, The Wake of Misfortune which was a mixture of metal, classical, and plain old rock 'n roll. The classical bit came from Vax with his electric violin. He had found some joy with the guitar but had never managed to really settle into it and something about a violin just made him feel at once at peace and alive. Plus, he could give him a haunting tune that suited their twin vocalists - Maria and Malcolm. Maria carried a beautiful range of high and medium pitches that could entrance and ensnare anyone willing to give a listen while Malcolm came in heavy and gave his all with deep searing tones and screams. And the lyrics were always captivating.

"Dammit, listen to me! Stop letting what other people say get to you! You know it's not true. You know me. You KNOW me! Jason-!"

Rolling onto his back, Vax stared up at the ceiling of their hotel room, watching the fan blades spin above his head. His band mates were asleep but he was half-awake, in between dreaming and consciousness. It always grated on his nerves but he couldn't stop the tape that was playing in his head any more than he could have stopped the sun from rising in the next handful of hours.

"Fine! Leave then. I see how much you care now. You care so much more about what everyone else says than your own heart then you can keep it! I don't want it anymore. Stay away from me."

The sound of a door slamming reverberated through his mind as his eyes shut, watching his eighteen-year-old self walk out of Jason's house and never looking back. Six months later he had graduated and then left Sanford. He had changed a lot since then, he thought. He had been so willing to give his heart up to a boy who didn't know what to do with it and he had been burned. But he wasn't a kid anymore, he was a grown man at the ripe age of twenty-three and finally getting his life together the way he wanted it to be. He got to write music, go around to new cities, and fuck whoever he wanted without having to worry about his heart. Now though, now he wondered where his life was headed. His band was just starting to get off the ground and he was content with his life. But was he happy? He didn't know but he sure as hell was going to leave the past where it belonged.
 
Jason fell onto his couch. At the age of twenty-three he thought he would have been farther in life by now. He turned on the TV and sighed. Jason just got back from recital, small time, but there were recruiters. At least that was something. He had managed to give his information to a few of them, hoping that he would manage to get out of the small time recitals and roles and finally hit the big time. Go on tours, be known, have the lead roles! Something other than sitting here watching how new bands were making. He glared at the TV some commercial promotion for a new band. Jason picked up the remote only to drop it seconds later.

"Damn it Vax! I told you! I can't be with someone with your reputation! Do you realize what your reputation might cost me? Vanessa-"

"Vax..." he stared at the TV. Vax's face had triggered him back to that day. He had messed everything up that day, but it was the final straw. Vanessa had been right, Vax was wrong for him. Right? That's what he had thought for a long time. However, the more and more lead roles that Vanessa got, the less and less she would help him. She was using him, that was all. He thought she was a friend, he had been dead wrong. He thought they all were his friends. He was far too trusting of the wrong people.

"I don't know if it's true, Vax! I wasn't there! You could have done all of it for all I know! If I don't get out now two lives are going to be screwed up!"

That night had been bad. They just couldn't stop screaming at each other. Jason's father had been confused too, though he didn't exactly have a high opinion of Vax either. He was just some bum that was nothing but trouble. At least, that's how everyone else saw it. Jason hadn't, not originally.

"Vax! Vax, wait! Vax, stop! I-"

The door had slammed in his face. He only avoided Vax after that. Tried hard not to make eye contact until they both graduated six months later. Jason managed to get into a good dance school. Now he focused on dancing and making sure he had enough to make rent every month, being a dancer wasn't easy at least when it came to making money. He managed to make enough though. Jason shook his head when the commercial ended, before he knew it he was calling up the ticket sales and asking for a ticket. He had to see him. He had to see Vax and apologize, it wasn't right to leave it the way it had ended. Just closure, that's all that he wanted.

The next night Jason was at the concert hall. He walked towards where the backstage door was and slipped inside. Luckily he knew his way around the back, having been there for an audition once. He walked around, making it look like he knew what he was doing, looking for Vax. He had stopped several people on the way asking if they knew where he was. Most of them just seemed to point in a random direction.
 
"Vax! You're on in twenty!" He heard the stage manager call as he sat in a little corner away from the busy areas and the stage. He needed a space to relax in before the show because if he got too tense, he wouldn't know what he was playing. He knew the music set and they were only playing a few songs so it wasn't like he was going to screw up so easily. The first song was metal with some haunting notes from his end but the next song was going to include him doing bass with Zack while Kelan did the guitar and Ramon did the drums. Maria was going to switch it up between her vocals and piano while Malcolm took center stage and sang his heart out. Then it was going to shift into him back on violin with Maria singing primary and Malcolm doing back up. Then another shift until it all faded out with a drum and guitar mix up solo and then a few lasting notes from his violin. It was a lot to remember and yet as he sat in his corner tuning his bass, he didn't feel so overwhelmed.

"Just relax...take a deep breath and remember the music," he told himself, closing his eyes as his fingers moved lovingly over the strings as he played a few stray notes from the chords he needed to play for the second song. He heard someone faintly saying where he was and he looked up, wondering who was talking about him and directing people towards him. Fans could come back stage and they liked knowing what they had to think, but the stage was closed about a half hour before show time to give them time to collect themselves and get their shit together so who was telling who where he was-

"Jason..." The name slipped from his mouth like the wind had been knocked out of him. He just stared openly and almost dropped the instrument in his hands but made a mad scramble to pick it up before he broke it. Setting it back in his lap absently, he just continued to stare before he shook himself and hardened his resolve. His resolve to act like the kid who broke his heart didn't matter anymore. But what he had glimpsed, Jason wasn't a kid anymore.
 
Even though it was but a whisper Jason heard his name, or at least thought he had. He looked over and stopped in the middle of all the commotion "Vax..." he licked his lips. He had wanted to say he was sorry, but now that he was faced with actually seeing Vax, he lost all thought for whatever he was going to do. If Jason wasn't a kid anymore neither was Vax. Jason just stared for a while before moving to get out of the way of someone who had bumped into him "Sorry." he mumbled before looking back to Vax. Jason walked over "Vax..." he said again, like Vax didn't know his own name. "Vax...um, I...I just wanted to talk to you and I didn't know if you and the band were going to be leaving right after or if you were waiting for a bit." he said.

Suddenly, Jason was very nervous. What was he thinking? Just showing up unannounced and before the set? Yeah, way to go he thought to himself. What a dumb-ass move that was. "I should have just waited until after the show. Vax, I'm sorry." he said, apologizing for more than one thing on accident "I should go." he said. It wasn't his brightest choice of words, but how was he supposed to know that Vax even know who he was. "Do you think I could talk to you after the show?" he asked, "I don't really know if you remember me at all, but I need to talk to you. Even if you don't remember who I am, it would help me out a lot."
 
Vax was silent for awhile, his mind just having gone blank when Jason walked over to him. He was taller than he remembered and he had filled out a bit, probably because of his dancing. He had always thought ballet was girly but whenever he saw Jason dance, it was always just captivating. Now though, seeing Jason standing before him, he could only feel anger and the old ache of having his heart broken. Listening to Jason talk made him shut his eyes and try to remember the nicer things they had said to each other but all he could hear was them screaming at each other before Vax had walked out on him. How could he talk to someone who hadn't been able to trust him? Or believe him?

"Of course I remember you. How can someone forget the first person they fell in love with?" Vax shrugged with a mirthless grin before he heard someone say that he had ten minutes before the show started. Standing up, he topped Jason by a couple of inches now. When they had been going together, they had been closer in height but now it felt like he towered over him. Shouldering his guitar and then grabbing his violin case, he wanted to just run away from Jason and the past. He really wanted to just forget it all happened and never look back. Why was he even here? As if 'sorry' made up for all of it.

"I'll be around for about an hour after the show. If you wanna talk then....fine, we can talk but don't expect me to accept all your apologies. Five years is a long time, Jason, and things change. People change," Vax looked down at Jason and felt that ache grow a little in his chest. Shaking his head as if he could shake off the pain, he heard someone calling his name. Probably one of his band members.

"I gotta go get set up...enjoy the show." Giving Jason one last glance, Vax soon turned away and headed towards where he was needed to get set up for the show. He needed to get his head on straight or he might fuck this up. He really didn't want to fuck up.
 
Jason felt his heart skip a beat when Vax said he remembered him. He looked away when the other questioned on how someone could forget the first person they had fallen in love with. How true was that? If it hadn't been for that, Jason would have forgotten Vax a long time ago. He almost wished he had. After all, it was easier than the torment he felt at the moment. Even if he had been the one to hurt Vax, he still wish he hadn't. He wished he had believed him in the first place. At least Vax was willing to listen to what he had to say "Thank you, that's all I ask." Jason said and let the other leave to set up.

He hurried to his seat and listened to the concert. Vax was much better at what he did now. Not that Jason ever thought he was bad at the guitar. The violin just seemed to suit him much better as did the bass. Jason sat back and closed his eyes, listening to the music. It was what had attracted Jason to Vax in the first place. Vax's music always had the ability to make Jason want to dance. It still held that ability even after five years. He almost wanted to curse Vax's name for that.

Once the concert was over he hurried to the back, searching again for Vax. It seemed to be much easier to find him this time, all he needed to do was follow the raving fans. Jason leaned up against a wall and watched Vax, waiting for a moment of his time. The entire show he had been listening to the music rather than focusing on what he was going to say. Now was the time he was going to get to finally word what he wanted to say. Jason eventually moved over to Vax "Vax...look...I don't expect you to forgive me, but I was wrong. I should have trusted you and not listened to those vapid women." he said, his face looked hurt "I never should have let you leave...I shouldn't have done a lot of things, but there in the past and I can't change them now. I just...I guess I wanted to let you know that you were right, everything changes and I've had some time to think about what I did. I just wanted to say that I was sorry. If...if you do forgive me, maybe we can start over again, or catch up a little bit at least."
 
It took longer than expected for him to finally get his head on straight, but after a quick chat with his bandmates, he found himself sliding into his role with much more fluidity. Maria had hopped up on stage first, microphone in hand, trying to get the crowd far more pumped than it was before everyone else filed onto the stage. Soon, the lights dimmed and Vax opened up with his violin, the amp allowing the notes to flow through the concert hall. The haunting melody opened up to Maria starting to sing before the twins switched off and the heavier notes from the guitar, bass, and drums flooded in. It was just like they had practiced and after switching instruments twice and playing the final notes from his violin, the concert was over. The timing of it all had been great and everyone had been in tune, making it a successful night. He felt invigorated and had to grab a towel to get the sweat off of himself. He always moved around a lot after the initial song to keep his energy level up. Now that the show was over, he allowed himself to remember what he had spoken about before the concert. His mood started to drop but he didn't let it show as he signed a few autographs and took some photos with fans. It always made him blush and little uneasy that people wanted to be around him just because of his music. His adrenaline dropped out when he saw Jason. Eventually the crowd began to thin out as he waved people off with a half-smile, listening to what Jason had to say.

"Sucks when someone is right, huh? I told you so and I'm not afraid to say it. I don't know if I'll forgive you, but I won't just because now you've apologized. You have to earn my forgiveness just like you had to earn my trust and if you're not up to it, then you aren't really sorry. I'm different, too, and I won't take your apologies so easily like I used to do when you would ditch me because those cunts told you to. But here," Vax handed him a small sheet of paper with his cell phone number on it. It was his actual number and he hoped that he didn't kick himself later for doing this. Maybe he wanted that closure. Or maybe he just wanted to hurt Jason just as badly as he had been hurt. He didn't know but he wanted something than what he was feeling in his chest.

"Call me or text me when you're ready to man up." Stepping close to Jason, Vax murmured in his ear, pressing close on purpose. "If you think you can handle me. I've grown up quite a bit since high school." Pulling back, he gave him a small smirk before giving him a small half-wave. Maria soon came over and dragged him away, looking at Jason curiously and murmuring something to Vax. He didn't answer and instead just let himself be pulled away, glancing back at Jason once before disappearing behind a door.
 
Jason nodded when the other spoke. He wasn't expecting for Vax to forgive him, but he wasn't expecting him to even give him a chance. He glanced down to the piece of paper and was glad he was looking at that when Vax stepped closer to him. His heart skipped a beat and his eyes flickered to Vax's body, only looking up when the other pulled away. He gulped and let out a breath that he had been holding. Vax was right yet again, he had grown quite a bit since high school. Jason watched Vax be dragged away by his fellow band mate before he made his way out of the back and out onto the stage. He walked to the very edge of it and glanced out to all the seats. "At least you have what you wanted." he murmured to himself and headed off the stage to go back home.

Back in his apartment he sat on the couch and stared at the number that Vax had given it having called it almost immediately to make sure that it was real. When he found out it was he hung up quickly and set his phone down on the table. He stared at it for a long time before redialing the number again, only to hang it up once again. By the next morning he finally gave up on calling and wrote a text. He sent it and sat back, rereading what he had just sent. 'If you are willing to give me another chance. I'm willing to man up. -Jason'

Now, whether he could handle Vax or not that was another question entirely. He really had no clue how he was going to gain Vax's forgiveness. He wanted to, but he had grown used to giving half assed apologies. That wasn't what he wanted to do to Vax ever again. Even if he had managed to leave his love for Vax behind, he never really left it fully behind, there was still a little part of his heart that wanted to be with Vax again.
 
The night went by in a blur. Vax and his bandmates had decided to do a night on the town since they were so wound up from the show. So they ended up bar-hopping for awhile until the bus came to get them and they were taken back to their hotel for the night. Vax had found someone - was it a guy or a woman?- who he could barely remember the name of to spend some time with him. All he remembered when he woke up the next morning was that he had had a lot of sex and that he was sore and exhausted. His phone buzzed at him that he had a missed call as well as a text message. He didn't recognize the number but he soon realized that the text was from Jason. He saved the number but his mind couldn't figure out how to reply, especially when a hand snaked it's way along his back - definitely a guy- and dragged him back into bed properly.

Eventually his guest left, leaving with some passionate touches and the cliche 'I'll call you' that neither would bother to fulfill. It was fun for the night and if he was in town, he might ask the guy again, but it was just another notch, so to speak. Soon he was showered and dressed, having gotten a room call from Maria that they were going out to get some food and that he needed to hurry up. He fumbled around for his phone and eventually sent Jason a text back.

"It won't be easy. Come to the Holiday Inn at 9:30pm tonight. Expect the unexpected."

Hitting send, he wasn't sure what he even was going to do when or if Jason showed up tonight. Hell, he didn't even know if he would be sober but Vax was willing to bet he was going to take a lot of his frustrations out...on Jason's body.
 
Jason stared at his phone when it went off telling him that he had a message. He picked it up and chewed on his lip before he opened it and looked at the message. He sighed and nodded, to no one but himself, as if that would reassure that he was going to go. In reality, he had no idea if he would actually show up in the end. He spent the rest of the day pacing and dressing and redressing trying to figure out what he should wear. He finally figured out what he was wearing, blue jeans and a white dress top.

At about 9:30 he found himself in front of the Holiday Inn and texting Vax. 'I'm here, what room?' He asked, waiting for the response. He paced in the lobby shaking his head when the desk clerk asked him if he needed anything. He needed a drink is what he needed, but he wasn't going to admit that. He wanted to do this sober, because he was going to screw it up if he had a drink. He would give Vax a half assed apology again and that wasn't what he was planning on doing. He finally sat down in one of the chairs, checking his phone every five seconds for the text back.

"He's not like that Vanessa! He's a good guy! You need to figure yourself out and leave me alone!" a younger Jason said, talking to a tall skinny girl.

"He's an ass and a nobody, Jason. He's not going anywhere with his life. You need to figure yourself out and leave him alone." the girl said, shaking her head and crossing her arms. "Plus, it's not like he's ever going to go anywhere after what he's been blamed for."

"Blamed?" Jason asked, looking a little confused.

"Well, yeah, did you really think that he has the balls to actually do anything with his life?" she chuckled.

Jason sighed, and closed his eyes "I fucked up." he murmured to himself.
 
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