"I cannot believe you Willow... how could you do this?" Tara stared accusingly at her girlfriend, utterly betrayed. Willow's eyes were downcast. She folded her arms and refused to look as Tara paced their little den.
"I'm so sorry, I know it was so wrong... but I just couldn't handle you being so mad at me."
"I would have calmed down, been more reasonable. But you took that choice from me. You broke my trust and erased my memories. I feel... violated." There was no other word for it. "I need you to go Willow. I need some space."
Willow's head snapped up. "No, don't leave things like this... we need to talk about this."
"You need to talk about this. I don't trust you any more Willow. You need magic like a drug, you've become so controlling and it's twisted, what you did to me. The only way I can be sure you won't mess with my head is for you to go somewhere else. Pack a bag. You can go stay with Buffy or somebody. I can't have you here right now."
"I'd never-" Willow began but Tara cut her off.
"Yesterday I'd have said that too but the fact is that you did. You didn't even admit it to me either Willow, I had to figure it out for myself. You were never going to own up."
Willow rose and lifted her hands in a placatory gesture. Tara flinched, her own hands moving in a reflexive blocking motion. Willow froze, finally realising the full impact of what she had done.
"This isn't even just about that." Tara continued. "I've seen you looking at boys, I even found a number in your purse the other day. I know you're bi but you're in a relationship with me. I hate feeling like I'm not enough for you."
"I was drunk when I was given that number, I forgot it was even there. I love you Tara." Willow looked her in the eye then, still frozen and with her hands in plain sight.
"Is it because I won't use that... thing you bought?" Tara asked quietly.
"The feeldoe? Oh no baby that was just an idea, you know, a bit of fun. I completely understand that it's not something you want to do. I was going to take it back to the store, it's not like we opened it or anything."
"How do I know Willow? How do I know what else you've made me forget?" Tara's head was in her hands now, but when Willow tried to approach her she shook her head. Willow connected the dots and sputtered in indignation.
"Are you asking if I ever... if I made you forget something sexual? Are you actually asking me that?"
"I don't know. I don't know what to think about anything now."
Willow strode out to their bedroom and returned with the feeldoe still in its packaging.
"I don't believe I'm saying this. Even if I had... made you forget something like that, as a bisexual woman I can tell you that you'd be left with physical soreness. Believe me, if you'd had this inside you, you'd know about it afterwards."
Tara grimaced in disgust. Willow tossed the sex toy onto their couch, pacing around and raking her hands through her red hair.
"You want me to be honest... really honest? Yes, sometimes I do miss penetration BUT that doesn't mean I'm going out and getting laid. Sometimes I'll notice a guy or a girl and think they're hot but it's just a passing thought. I'm with you and you're all I want. I don't care that you weren't interested in the feeldoe. Of course it would have been fun for me if you were but it's not a big deal, it's not important to me. You're important to me. I only did what I did because I can't stand to lose you and now it looks like I'm losing you anyway. GOD!"
Tara fetched a backpack and offered it to Willow. "I'm not enough for you. I've seen the way you look at guys and I saw the way you were hyped up about that... thing." She gestured at the feeldoe. "I think you should go and have a long hard think about what you really want, because right now I just don't feel that you have any idea. I need some space and you're going to give it to me. Please just take some things and go."
Willow stalked into their bedroom and flung some clothes into the bag, toiletries, make-up etc. She snatched up some of her magic books but again Tara frowned at her.
"You need a break from magic Willow. You need to really think about what you've done to me."
"Magic is all I have left if I don't have you."
"What if you can't have both Willow? What if regaining my trust means hanging up your powers?"
Willow was visibly shocked, much more shocked than she had been when Tara had told her that she had realised her memories had been altered. She stepped towards Tara, her demeanour becoming apologetic, looking up at her through her lashes. "Look, I know you're upset and angry and you have every right to be but I swear Tara, I only ever altered your memory that one time. I made you forget at most about ten minutes of your life, ten minutes that we were fighting for. You're making this into a huge great deal but it was just one stupid little thing that I did. It never happened before and it will never happen again. I'm sorry I crossed that line and I'm sorry I hurt you but it was just one little mistake, a stupid error of judgement because I love you and I hate it when we fight."
Willow was closer to Tara now, almost within touching distance. Tara saw straight through her girlfriend, saw that she didn't want to face up to what she'd done and wasn't prepared to stop practising magic. For the first time in their years together, Willow watched in horror as Tara's pretty face twisted with rage and hate.
"You don't get it at all do you!" She yelled. Despite being the stronger of the two witches, Willow was thrown backwards, hitting the wall and collapsing to the floor. The force of Tara's emotion was terrifying. Willow scrambled to her feet and stepped towards her again.
"Tara don't... stop this!"
"I didn't start this!" Tara felt the power welling within her and she screamed, all the heartache and anguish ripping from her lungs. Willow ricocheted off of the wall and landed at Tara's feet, unconscious. Tara touched her cheek but there were no tears there.
Willow had made her feel violated.
Willow desperately wanted to be violated.
Tara was angry enough to grant her wish.
~xXx~
A short while later, Tara was stirring a pot on the stove, humming to herself. Spike's peroxide blonde head appeared in her open kitchen window, inhaling deeply. The potion gave out a vampire-maddening scent of 'ripe female virgin' and Tara had used her own hair, since she still had her hymen.