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Well, some of you may or may not know, I'm out of shape due to my car accident in '08.
I gained a substantially large amount of weight since I was bed ridden for three months, then I had to go to physical therapy to relearn how to walk.
I relearned how, but once I could walk, I dropped out of physical therapy which ended up fucking up my knee and making it in a way even worse - since I now cannot run.
Now, I'm trying to get back into shape, for me and... Honestly, for my man.
He admitted before that he is into skinny tall girls and if you know me, I'm short and festively plump.
So really, in a way, especially after seeing pictures of his ex; I totally feel disgusted with myself.
And then, I get really self conscious about everything else.
For the past week or so, I've been going out for walks and this weird type of looking run thing.
The pain in my knee gets so intense that I've actually collapsed from it.
Then, since I'm so out of shape, I'll also start throwing up.
Yet, I keep pushing myself past my limit, no matter how much it hurts because I want to be good enough.
I'm also in the middle of moving in with him as well.
And the packing is seriously wearing me out, plus the stress of even having to deal with my family.
Really, if you saw my old bedroom you'd know what I'm talking about.
I own over 3,500 books and there are people on here who can attest to seeing the collection.
Then the dressers and closets of clothes.
The sixty or more pairs of shoes.
This, that, and that fucking other thing.
What really gets me though, is that everyone is calling me a perfect little housewife.
Even he calls me a great little housewife.
But then, he is also hearing shit at work about it all.
Espeically me moving in and that makes me wonder if he has his doubts about the relationship.
I just... don't know what to fucking think or what to do.
Well, some of you may or may not know, I'm out of shape due to my car accident in '08.
I gained a substantially large amount of weight since I was bed ridden for three months, then I had to go to physical therapy to relearn how to walk.
I relearned how, but once I could walk, I dropped out of physical therapy which ended up fucking up my knee and making it in a way even worse - since I now cannot run.
Now, I'm trying to get back into shape, for me and... Honestly, for my man.
He admitted before that he is into skinny tall girls and if you know me, I'm short and festively plump.
So really, in a way, especially after seeing pictures of his ex; I totally feel disgusted with myself.
And then, I get really self conscious about everything else.
For the past week or so, I've been going out for walks and this weird type of looking run thing.
The pain in my knee gets so intense that I've actually collapsed from it.
Then, since I'm so out of shape, I'll also start throwing up.
Yet, I keep pushing myself past my limit, no matter how much it hurts because I want to be good enough.
I'm also in the middle of moving in with him as well.
And the packing is seriously wearing me out, plus the stress of even having to deal with my family.
Really, if you saw my old bedroom you'd know what I'm talking about.
I own over 3,500 books and there are people on here who can attest to seeing the collection.
Then the dressers and closets of clothes.
The sixty or more pairs of shoes.
This, that, and that fucking other thing.
What really gets me though, is that everyone is calling me a perfect little housewife.
Even he calls me a great little housewife.
But then, he is also hearing shit at work about it all.
Espeically me moving in and that makes me wonder if he has his doubts about the relationship.
I just... don't know what to fucking think or what to do.