TsubasaxChiba
HS Senior Year
It was really Chiba’s idea. The first JGV. Tsubasa, surprisingly, had nothing to do with it. Directly that is.
It wasn’t an impulse. It had been on Chiba’s mind for a while, since he had noticed that he and Tsubasa were no longer masturbating to the same thing. Tsubasa fisted himself while intently watching the videos, nearly drooling as his mouth hung open mindlessly. Whereas for Chiba, the video was only a cover, as he watched the young man beside him. He wasn’t sure exactly when it started, but now that he’d gotten into the habit, he couldn’t
not do it any more. It was one of the rare moments Chiba was thankful for Tsubasa’s obliviousness, as he was fairly sure that
anyone else would have noticed by now.
Its like this for an entire eight months before Chiba finds the courage to propose gay porn to his best friend (and favorite fapping material). Its a test. Chiba can’t really control his need to know, to know that Tsubasa is entirely out of his reach. He figures that Tsubasa will laugh at him, or maybe blow him off, which is all Chiba needs to tell himself that his dreams at night are going to remain as such, to once and for all stop these false fantasies of his best friend’s hands on him, lips on him. He needs this to stop the sliver of hope.
Chiba pops the DVD into Tsubasa’s player, and waits for the inevitable. Only, it never comes. After the first minute Tsubasa doesn’t even
speak. Another minute later and he’s got his hand on the front of his jeans, just resting there, with his usual smile slipping further and further from his lips as the bodies in the video start getting more and more naked. Chiba’s eyes go wide in the next minute, because Tsubasa is unzipping his pants. Chiba doesn’t even realize he’s hard and pressing against the inside of his own jeans at first because he’s so fixated on his best friend, who is getting off to gay porn.
The movie finishes and so do they. Chiba outlasts Tsubasa, though only by mere seconds as the catalyst of his climax is watching Tsubasa reach his. Chiba’s mind is whirling in a white haze still, temporarily free of his continual worries and his ridiculous crush on his best friend. The moment is ruined when Tsubasa speaks in his lazy voice.
“So, this means, you’re like, gay then, right?”
“Huh? I. Wha?”
Chiba stammers, the ability to form a coherent word having left him. Chiba honestly thought he’d gotten over being shocked by Tsubasa’s personality. Unfortunately, it only gets worse.
“I mean, you’re the one who wanted to watch it right?”
Chiba doesn’t know quite how to convey his frustrations to the gods at this point, because for all the times that Tsubasa was actually observant in his life, he just had to pick up on this one fact. Chiba bites his lip, but doesn’t back down from the challenge.
“So?”
Tsubasa only shrugs, doesn’t get offended by the way Chiba’s voice comes out harsher than intended. He’s never bothered by Chiba’s moodiness. A lanky arm reaches towards the DVD case, and Tsubasa looks over the outside while Chiba watches him with anxiety.
“Have you done it then?”
Chiba blinks. “Done what?”
Tsubasa rolls his eyes before looking to Chiba. “Had anal sex. Kissed a guy maybe? Or,” Tsubasa’s lips spread into that grin that Chiba knows never means anything good for him. “is there someone that you like?”
Chiba’s face instantly flushes a shade of pink that matches the pink panther stuffed toy on Tsubasa’s bed, because all he can think is
Yes, yes, yes! I like you you idiot!.
“N-no.”
Tsubasa quirks a brow, looking as though he’s trying to read Chiba’s expression. Chiba is internally panicking, though he feels stupid for doing it because this is
Tsubasa, who of course fails to read the clearly evident signals that the smaller male is sending.
“Hm,” is all Tsubasa says as he goes back to eye the DVD case. Chiba lets out a shaky sigh of relief, though the pattering of his heart only skyrockets once again when Tsubasa looks back to him.
“So, would you wanna try it with me then?”
Chiba feels like he wants to scream, because somehow, Tsubasa doesn’t have a clue what is going on and yet he
still manages to say the exact things to set Chiba off. Possibly sheer dumb luck, though its more likely that Tsubasa is just an asshole by nature. A really dense one, but an inherent asshole all the same.
Of course Chiba wants to try it with Tsubasa, its only what’s been stealing perfectly good hours of the night as he lies there awake jerking his cock after waking up sweaty and aroused from yet
another dream of his best friend doing things to him that best friends don’t do to each other.
Chiba feels himself getting more and more upset the longer that Tsubasa sits there expectantly, waiting for his answer with a smirk, as though he knows Chiba is going to say yes. Why the fuck does does he have to like Tsubasa? With all the other shit in his life, why do his insides have to go all mushy and warm for this guy? But, Chiba figures it only makes sense, he’s probably God’s personal little stress toy after all. Not that he can really blame the dude, considering he created a useless, self indulging idiot with the most beautiful smile on the planet named Tsubasa. Someone had to shoulder all the suffering from that moron, to keep the world in balance. Or something.
So, instead of answering Tsubasa’s completely inappropriate question (mostly for the fear that he’ll say something extremely stupid or emotional or both), Chiba picks himself up off the floor. He doesn’t say a word as he grabs his backpack next to Tsubasa’s bed and head for the bedroom door, ignoring the confused “Chiba?” that he hears as he turns he knob. Childish as it is, Chiba can’t help the need to let out some of his frustration by slamming Tsubasa’s bedroom door as he leaves, which is stupid because really, it doesn’t make him feel any better.
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It’s really too bad that it was a Tuesday yesterday, because that means today is a Wednesday, which means that Chiba has to go to school. He thinks about trying to pretend he has a fever that morning, but with his mother being who she is, she’d probably make him go to school anyways.
All of her children had perfect attendance records, which was entitled to Chiba as well even if going to class didn’t actually seem to make him any smarter. At least she’d stopped the whole summer school lessons a while back when she realized that no amount of extra pushing was going to make him as smart as his brother.
Anyway, its Wednesday, and Chiba really doesn’t want to go to school. Tsubasa is going to be there, just like he is most days of the week (Tsubasa’s parents aren’t quite so strict about their son’s attendance record), and Chiba really doesn’t want to have to spend the day dodging away from his best friend. He does anyways though, even though its really lonely when you realize that you have no other friends besides your best friend. But even though he’s lonely, Chiba completely ignores the small group of friendly geeks and their attempts at trying to get him to join them for lunch. He prefers to be miserable and lonely than to be miserable while amongst a group of guys who aren’t really his friends.
He’s wandering down the hallway, trying not to look too much like a loser, when just in front of him a familiar lanky form steps out the boy’s bathroom. Chiba’s feet make a dead stop, and the two just sort of stare at each other for a few seconds. Chiba’s stomach twists not completely unpleasantly when his mind immediately flicks to some kind of emotional scenario that he’s seen in a movie before. Okay, so, maybe the movie was actually another gay japanese porn flick. Just a minor detail though, especially when Tsubasa completely ruins the mood by cracking into a huge grin and wiping his wet hands on his jeans.
Chiba’s expression of mild shock drops immediately, instantly going back to the well worn frown as he turns on his heel and starts walking back the way he came.
“Hey!” Chiba scoffs to himself at the slightly irritated tone in his friend’s voice. Chiba suddenly has the impulse to start running when he hears footfalls catching up to him. “
Chiba!” comes Tsubasa’s whine. He stops instead, and turns back around to see Tsubasa jogging up to him.
”What?” he snaps at the other.
Tsubasa’s brows raise in confusion as he closes in on Chiba. “What the hell man? Why’re you ignoring me?”
Because you’re an ignorant asshole and I love you is what Chiba doesn’t say.
“Are you mad at me or something? Is it cuz of what I said yesterday?”
Chiba worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks away, his foot tapping nervously. He hears Tsubasa sigh tiredly, as though
he’s the one who’s stressed out.
“Ya know, I was only joking. Its not like you have to take it seriously or anything, I mean, unless you wanted to, I wouldn’t mind that either.”
Chiba’s head snaps up, because Tsubasa’s tone of voice is somehow gentler and less playful than usual, and it sets Chiba’s heart into an almost painful flurry of beats. It doesn’t help at all that Tsubasa isn’t grinning at him like usual, he isn’t making fun of him or trying to cajole him into retaliation, isn’t trying to tease him. Tsubasa is watching him - dare Chiba say it - carefully, like he actually gives a damn about what’s going on in Chiba’s mind. Chiba is suddenly caught in an internal meltdown, stuck staring at Tsubasa’s eyes and feeling like his feet are detaching from the ground as gravity starts to shift and make him want to pull towards Tsubasa.
“Chiba?”
Tsubasa cocks his head to the side, and his hand comes to rest softly on Chiba’s elbow. The gentle touch makes Chiba lose control of the muscles in his mouth to the pent up feelings inside him.
“Tsubasa. I -”
A loud scraping clatter and a high pitched yelp interrupts his sentence, and as Tsubasa looks towards the source of the noise Chiba’s heart suddenly pounds in his chest as he pulls his arm out of Tsubasa’s hand and blinks himself back to clarity.
What the fuck was I doing?
What was I going to say?
Chiba’s mind is racing in circles, unsure of whether he should be thankful or upset. He’s too mixed up to decide what it is right now, though, when he picks his eyes back up to take a cautious look at Tsubasa, his friend is still staring away with a brow cocked at the source of the noise. Chiba follows the line of Tsubasa’s eyes to the windows of an upstairs classroom, completely vacant.
“What is it?”
Tsubasa looks to Chiba, brows furrowing in thought, then looks back to the window.
“There were some girls watching from up there. They ducked down the minute I looked though.”
“Oh.” Chiba’s eyes search the vacant windows, then something in his brain clicks and he snags Tsubasa’s wrist, tugging the taller frame towards him. “Wait.
What?”
“I said, there were some chicks watching from up there. Though when I looked they acted all embarrassed and shit and ducked down, I bet there’s still hiding behind the wall now.” Tsubasa runs a hand along the side of his face. “Probably like the book club or something.”
Chiba cringes as he corrects Tsubasa. “The manga club.”
Tsubasa’s hand slips from his face and down the side of his neck. “Hm?”
Chiba sighs and detaches his fingers from his friend’s wrist to cup his forehead, as he suddenly feels a headache coming on. “Its not the book club. Its the manga club.”
“Uh. Okay?”
It frustrates Chiba a little that Tsubasa still doesn’t see his point, though, that’s only expected. He feels his face heat up a little, which makes him think himself all the more ridiculous and silly. Both his hands come up to rub over his eyes, muffling his voice.
“Nevermind. Just. Nevermind.”
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The next day, Chiba hangs out with his one other friend besides Tsubasa after school (because he actually needs to study for a test and Tsubasa is a lost cause in the world of academics). Her name is Amber, and she’s a year younger than him, smarter, and far more popular. He wonders vaguely what is is with him and being friends with two of the most widely accepted people in their grades.
“I saw Tsubasa cutting class today.”
Chiba rolls his eyes as he goes back to his math homework, “What else is new?”
“He was with a girl. One from the manga club I think.”
The pencil in Chiba’s hand gives a sharp cry in the form of splintering wood as it is snapped in half.
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On Friday Tsubasa shows up at school, wearing a pink shirt with his hair in a messy ponytail via equally pink scrunchie (obviously stolen from his little sister), and promptly jumps Chiba from behind. Needless to say, when your best friend is a hands on jerk, it doesn’t so much scare Chiba as it does irritate him.
In between classes, Tsubasa continues to be clingy all day, hugging and poking and pinching
more so than usual. He does it even when Chiba is outwardly cranky about it because it seriously makes him happy inside even though it shouldn’t, especially since his crush was just seen swapping spit with someone
not himself yesterday. He gives up after a while of trying to keep Tsubasa at bay, mainly because its just too draining on him to keep pushing the lanky dork aside, and just asks “Why’re you being so touchy?”
Tsubasa’s eyes disappear into neat crescents as he grins like the five year old that he is mentally. He leans down then and puts his mouth right to Chiba’s ear, his warm breath making the shorter male resist shivering as it tickles over his skin.
“I get what you were talking about yesterday now. Chicks dig that yaoi stuff.”
He straightens back up then, still grinning like his brain is stuck on happy mode and threads his fingers through Chiba’s. He swings their hands back and forth and stands there like he’s waiting for some kind of congratulations or something. Chiba decides right then and there that confessing his crush to Tsubasa is the stupidest thing he could ever do.
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