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Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Amarena

Amarena

Star
Joined
Mar 31, 2011
I'm going to start off with saying I'm not who you think I am.

No, really, I'm not.

Sort of.

For some reason, I'm almost ashamed of being on Blue Moon. It's not because I don't like it here. I really fucking do. I love it here. However, I'm not self-confident enough to be proud of the fact I write smut. Okay, it's not smut, because I love plot and story lines and I like to think that my writings is just adult roleplay. So why should I be ashamed of it?

I don't know.

It's not like I'm hiding who I am, or anything. Don't worry, I'm still definitely over the age of eighteen. In fact, I think my birthday is correct on my profile. I don't remember, but probably.

I just feel like if I showed my writings to another person, they'd laugh at me. I don't know why I feel that way. What the hell is wrong with writing erotica? Nothing. So why the hell don't I be like "hey, y'all, I'm on this site and it's great!" Probably because I have a girlfriend and she'd get jealous. At least, I think she would, but I know she won't because she knows I write erotic stories.

I don't want to see someone I work with and they'll have read what I wrote and they'll be like "That was hot" and I'll stare at them awkwardly and reply "...okay? Great?" And then I'll envision them jacking off to it or something and I'll never want to write another sex scene again.

I typically keep my internet life apart from my real life anyway. I don't think I've ever said to someone in real life "Hey. I roleplay on the internet." because I know I'd get weird looks and they'll ask me "What's that?" and it would be hard to explain what roleplaying is to someone who's never done it. Pretty sure they would think I'm some creeper pedophile and that I deserve to be on that show on MSNBC (To Catch a Predator, anyone? Why don't you go ahead and take a seat?)

Also, on a slight tangent, it's so fucking good to be back and to have found excellent writers to roleplay with. (Daughter of Artemis - You are the shit).

And now to decide whether I want to watch a few episodes of South Park before bed, or finish reading 'Salem's Lot.

If you know where my journal title is from, you get a million virtual cookies and a firm slap on the ass.
 
*coughs* I am sure someone already answered, but...

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
'Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, 'art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven
 
You are the first! *offers one million hundred thousand cookies, and of course, firm slap on the ass*
 
*takes the cookies and the firm slap on the ass*

All I have to say is it's a good thing THAT many cookies take up so little space...and don't spoil if left out. I'd hate to have to shop for enough freezer space to keep them all...
 
For the Poe fans, I'm getting this as a tattoo next month for my birthday. Awesome, yay nay?
573698_100002527082012_376828896_n.jpg

Probably on my calf, but I dunno. I don't like my legs because I am white as ten-year-old-shit. I don't want to blind people just to show off my new ink. I just don't know where else I could get it, and easily be able to hide it. I can't have it showing for work in an obvious place.

I'm also very proud of myself for remembering to buy ranch dressing. Pizza rolls taste so much better drenched in Sriracha hot sauce and ranch dressing. Never mind the fact I'm already over budget this week by like $100 I NEED RANCH FOR MY PIZZA ROLLS! I live off them. I bought six bags less than a month ago, and I am down to 2 1/2 bags now. If I don't have ranch, I don't have pizza rolls. If I don't have pizza rolls, I don't typically eat dinner. I eat so very healthy, you know. Actually I've been eating a lot of fruit lately, so I'm sorry coworkers that my horrendous fruit gas is killing you! I'll start taking Beano or something.

I was thinking about going to see the Raven next weekend, which is coming out to theaters and I am so fucking excited guys you don't even know I have such a boner for Poe it's not even funny. But I think I should get my cat spayed instead because she will not shut the fuck up and it's keeping me up at night. It's bad enough my neighbors can hear her. They think it's cute. Hahahaha no. I do not whine that fucking much when I want to get laid. Neither should she.

PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE. Okay bye stuffing face now.
 
That's a pretty cool tattoo. Just be sure and get it because if the muscles expand too much or shrink too much it will lose its effect and look funny. All in all, a cool tattoo though.

You'll have to review the Raven and let us all know how it is.

And yes, get your cat spayed...it will save you many sleepless nights. Plus, it takes months for the hormones to filter out of their system once you do get them spayed...the sooner the better.
 
I have one tattoo already, on my back/hip. I've generally stayed the same weight for ten years so I don't think that'll be too much of an issue. Unless I decide to start working out and LOSE weight. Which I doubt. Since I'm lazy.

I also need to stop judging books by their covers - literally. I am a huge Stephen King fan and lately that's all I've been reading. However, today, I started reading "The Help". At first, I looked at it, and I was like "this is going to be lame. This doesn't look very good." I even read the back cover and still thought "lame." Now I'm on Chapter Four and I'm hooked. Like, what the fuck? How did it suddenly become awesome? I don't understand. I think I'm going to go read it now, and cuddle in bed.

But first - I need pain killers. My back is fucking hurting today. Pinched nerves suck ass. Did I mention I have four of them? Oh, yeah, sure as shit do. One in my neck, one between my shoulder blades, and two in my lower back. It fucking sucks.
 
I slept until 1pm, because of the pills I took last night. Awesome. I slept for 13 hours, I think. It was pretty nice.

I have two more days of work, then three days off! I have so much stuff to do it's not even funny. Not that I'll do any of it. Besides the dishes/laundry, and that's about it.

Also I checked my bank account and realized I had $100 more than I thought I had. I really should keep my checkbook aligned properly...
 
I AM GOING TO SEE THE RAVEN TODAY OH YES. Possibly with big brothers so it's all gooooood. SO EXCITED.

Also, what the hell? Why can't people read? It's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does. Man, I wish PVP was still around because I'd love to jump on this guy's ass. But I won't, now, although I will sort of vaguely.

Okay, dude, in case you didn't notice, a thread labeled [FxF] is typically [femalexfemale] (unless, in a weird case, it's something else, but I'd say 99% of the time, it's for two women). This means it's a lesbian thread. For lesbians. With female characters going on each other. That's hot.

So why do you keep coming into the threads saying "I'll do this, if I can be a male." UHM. NO. THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF A CLEARLY LABELED [FxF] THREAD. I could understand if you did it on accident, misread and such that happens, fine and dandy. But it's been a dozen times now. I so badly want to quote you and say "Please re-read the title of the thread, then think if you should be asking that question." It's not my place to do so, so I won't, and I'll be nice, but seriously. Although if you come at me and ask if you can play a male character (when my title clearly says FxF) I will rip you a new asshole. So, please, oh please, do so.

Okay bye going shopping.
 
Saw The Raven. It was awesome. I wished it had focused a little more on his stories. Yeah, they did mention them and quote them, somewhat. But I wish they had focused a little more on them. I'm glad they used the more popular ones. The Masque of the Red Death is a very good one, and I was glad they used it. I couldn't help but mouth along to the quotes when the characters said it. Even my brothers enjoyed it! I was pleasantly surprised. One of my brothers told me he wasn't going to like it and I was like "stfu you don't even know you've never seen it" and when it was done he goes "okay fine...I give it 7/10" and I punched him in the head.
 
I am in so much fucking pain I can't think straight.

I feel like a goddamn balloon.

This shit sucks donkey balls.
 
Feeling better today. Still a bit sore, but the migraine from hell has passed thank goodness.

Bought "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" today. So very excited! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN~! I couldn't get wait to get home and watch it. HERE WE GO!~
 
I was just a little bit scared last night driving home in the rain alone for two hours from some weird ass hole in the wall town I've never been to before.

I didn't get home until midnight and I WAS ONLY JUST A LITTLE SCARED because it was dark and it was pouring and I was alone and I didn't know where the fuck I was.
 
It's hot today. Weird. I turned the heat down which is awesome, because that means even less of a bill. My heat and electricity is one bill and last month it was $27! YAY SUMMER. LESS MONEY!

Also, last night, I broke into my apartment. Oh yes, like a boss. The screen door handle broke somehow and it wouldn't open. I tried kicking it, screaming at it, calling it names - and it still said 'fuck you amarena you aren't getting inside hahahaha'. I was a little pissed because I had groceries in my hand and they needed to be in the fridge and I didn't want to wait for the on-site manager to show up, if she was even there...so I broke in through the window! Borrowed the neighbor's hammer and took the screen off, opened the window (which, thankfully, I leave unlocked because I am boss and not afraid of burglars and/or rapists), and crawled right the fuck in. I did call the manager to let her know, though, and she said she'd be here today sometime to look at the handle and see what's wrong.

Mmm biscotti.
 
Had a nice mother's day, out with my mom on Sunday. We went hiking, like bosses, and true mountaineers. For four hours. OW SUNBURN. Then I went out last night with my stepmother and got shitfaced. x_x

BUT TODAY MY GAMES CAME IN! Well, 2/3 but still. Tomb Raider: Anniversary and Spyro: A Hero's Tale. Yeah, I'm twenty years old, and I play Spyro. Problem?

DIDN'T THINK SO.
 
I've started to work out. It hurts, oh god the burn ;__; but I feel good about myself after. I really want to have a flat stomach. I'm not fat or anything, but I am not very fond of the pudge I do have. I'd mostly just like to tone up some. It was fun yesterday. I brought my equipment to my brothers' house and all of us worked out together. It's nice to have other people to motivate me, and it was even better when I got to yell at them. xD We threw around a discus for 45 minutes, then took turns using the equipment.

Hopefully if I do the sets once a day, we'll see results!
 
Kind of in a rut lately I guess. I have no inspiration to write and I think it's because I'm really stressed out. I can never say 'no' to my family, especially when they want to borrow money. I know it's their own fault. If they'd stop drinking/smoking they could save thousands of dollars a year. Yet, I always give them money. I know they'll pay me back, but never soon enough. I'm getting short on gas and I'm definitely not eating this week because I lent them $180.

Plus I'm trying to plan out going to NY later this year and that's the most stressful thing. I just want everything to work out so I can see my girlfriend.

-super sigh-
 
THIS IS GREAT. HAHA.

I'm getting kind of sick of the phone I have. It's nothing fancy, gets the job done, but it works when it wants to and half the calls people make to me don't work. So, I thought I'd splurge and buy myself a new phone. One of the fancy smartphone Android things. It's $180 and I had to borrow $100 from my grandparents.

BUT THEN!

I stopped at my dad's house and was like "I feel bad I had to ask Grandma/Grandpa for help to buy a new phone tomorrow." And they're like "WELL HERE! We have this fancy phone that no one is using and no one wants SO YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR FREE."

Holy fucking shit. Awesome.

It's not Android or smart phone or whatever but it's free and it looks like Blackberry also it's free but it's better than the phone I have as well as BEING FREE.
 
I will be without internet for the next two days! That's annoying. The current provider I have sucks donkey balls, hardcore. The average song download takes 30 minutes. Forget trying to download an episode of anime. Also, it cuts out all the goddamn time and takes forever to start back up. So, I'm switching providers. This one ends today, but the new one won't be installed until Tuesday. They should be early Tuesday, but just in case shit happens (which it usually does) I'm considering myself away for that day as well.

Oh. Well, fuck me then. I just checked my current internet end date and it doesn't end until Wednesday. NEVER MIND THEN.
 
I have little motivation for anything right now. I think I'm hitting a slump, or something, that's making me depressed. I skipped work Monday because I just didn't want to go in. I have to go to work soon, and I just don't want to get up from the couch. I want to crawl back into bed and sleep all day long. I really don't know why I'm feeling this way and it really sucks.
 
Abney Park is my new favorite band forever for the next few days an hour.

I'm getting two new tattoos on Friday :D
 
I'm getting that feeling again. Nothing excites me. I don't want to do anything. I don't even want to be here, right now. I thought maybe I'd play some video games today. Nope. I looked at the playstation and said fuck that. I got online. Nothing there to read, to do, to make me want to do something. There's plenty of things I could do, but I don't want to do any of them. It's not just laziness, though. It's a genuine feeling of everything sucks in life.
 
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