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=All about Anj={Journal, general musings, etc}

Defiant.Anjeru

Defiant.Anjeru

Star
Joined
Dec 13, 2011
Location
Pacific Northwest
As I have mentioned, I used to be on the website under a different name, but a lot has happened to where I felt I needed a new, almost clean start.

Anjeru has become Defiant.Anjeru.

I appreciate any of you who stop in here to read, or comment; this is mainly a way for me to keep in touch with RP partners and to vent if I am lacking a person to vent to.

For those of you who do not know me, my nick name is Anjeru; friends on Blue Moon and in real life, call me Anji. I am twenty three years old, will be twenty four in a couple months. I am a single mother to two beautiful children; an almost three year old daughter and a one and a half year old son. I'm an artist, an avid roleplayer, and an aspiring writer. I have been doing each for at least a decade, ten years and counting. I also cosplay and have recently started sewing my own costumes for Sakura-Con. I am an obsessed gamer, I absolutely love scary movies, Vampires are definitely my thing - and NO, NOT FROM TWILIGHT. I enjoy Techno, hard rock, metal, and dance. I love manga, anime, and, though sorely out of practice, I know some Japanese.

Eight months ago, I got out of a bad controlling and abusive relationship with my babies' biological father. Safe to say, I ended up in the hospital, filing a report; that was the end, period, no more. Sayonara. I had two kids with him in the three years we were on and off, but he also had two kids with two other women - both of whom I talk to despite his irritation at doing so. Close friends and people I trust, know the full story behind the attack and the relationship. He is also the reason I was forced to leave Blue Moon originally back in '09.

Today's rant sort of deals with that.

At 4am, I woke up to a text message from the EX trying to explain some sort of drama I was about to be dragged into even after being separated for nearly a year now. That (let's say the other girls are girl A and girl B) girl B was going to text me to say that the EX had been playing her and been trying to sleep with her because girl B asked him out, he said no, so girl B told girl A she was going to tell me, so girl A told the EX. Somehow...I am supposed to care? I think not. Really. I did not appreciate waking up so early to this shit.

My mom also decided to go to Goodwill and put off picking up the milk for my son, which really irritates me because one thing I hate is irresponsibility.

Last little bit of ranting goes toward where every one of my friends' and what not, claim to care about me, or think about me, or whatever, but not a single person asked if I would like to go to the party, or drink with them, or anything at all, for new years. It's like jeez guys, thanks a lot.

Hmmm.
Well.

Happy New Years, Blue Moon! I lurve you! <3
-Anjeru
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

Way to go, prick. An hour into the new year and I already hate it because of you. You do not get to tell me what rights you do and do not deserve to me, or my kids; they're not yours. You only get the luxury of being their biological father. Screw off.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

Piss in his cheerios!

Or just stab him later when he's not paying attention.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

To my RP partners; Likely to be no posts today, Jan 1st. Going to be out all day, then probably will crash.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

It was great, actually. Thank you! <3

Sidenote: I have taken up duties as Global Moderator for BMR; Roleplaying may suffer some because of this, and I will be setting a cap limit on how many roleplays I will be taking. I am happy to be of help to BM again. ^_^
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

*Fanboy squeel for no reason* Omigawd it's Anji~

Take'cha time on the DA topic, it can wait. Also, congrats on the Mod-ness! *Uses up the hundred party poppers he bought and forgot to use*

Bwahahah. -- Ooh..vampire rp. *Chin-itch* Gave me an idea.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

I'm managing to keep up pretty well :3

*Plays in all the party popper's confetti* Whee~ Sankyuu~
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

I really need some advice. However, let me get the facts out first.

My ex is the father of both my kids, he is only on my son's birth papers because he up and left me when I got pregnant with my daughter. His grandparents had a private test filed, to try and prove to him I was a whore and that she wasn't his. She is, as is my son.

In the three years we were involved, he got two other women pregnant. He has two kids, proven by DNA tests. So at 21, he has four kids.

He cheated on me, all the time. I found at least four girls in town, a dozen online, and several girls on his phone he 'exchanged' pics and videos with. But because he cheated, he treated me like the cheater. He cut me out of BMR, most of my guy friends, all of my ex's, and I couldn't even leave our apartment (the one above the garage at his GRANDPARENTS), without him freaking out on me.

Which brings me to the fact the he was abusive. He says since he never physically hit me, he didn't abuse me. However. He constantly threw me around, shoved me into the wall by choking me, wrapped his hands around my throat, punching the wall an inch from my face screaming about how he would make sure I'd fuck him and no one else. I'd be his slave.

I got in touch with one of the girls who has his baby and asked her if she'd like to get together so our kids could get to know each other. He found out and freaked, saying since he was the one who fucked her, he had the right to tell me whether or not I could talk to her. When I told him I would continue talking to her, he tried to run the car off with road WITH the kids in it.

I threw coffee on him to get him to stop. He proceeded to grab me by my throat and slam my head into the seat, while the children watched.

I started planning to leave. He found out and we got into much like what you've read above. This time though, he said "fine, but I get to fuck you first" and, while I was screaming, crying, and begging him to stop, he forced himself on me in front of my kids. I ran as soon as he gave me a moment, down stairs to his grandparents where he tried to drag me from but his grandpa punched him to get him to let me go. He was screaming about how he was going to kill me.

I called my mom, we packed everything, I went to the hospital, filed the sexual assault thingy, but didn't press charges because I was frightened out of my mind.

I told him to get therapy. His grandparents were saying I had turned him into that, that he was never like that before me. That what happened was my fault.

Since then, he has been harassing me. He even stalked my Facebook page until one of his ex's told him to stop being a stalker. The therapist released him, and said he's fine, after only two-three months of appointments each week. Is it just me, or is that therapist on crack?

Anyway. He is harassing me because I won't let him take the kids alone. I don't as for child support, I haven't filed to have him completely barred from us, yet he says I am being unreasonable and that I need to start trusting him, even though it has only been nine months since I left him. He keeps saying he loves, wants his family back, yet has little to do with his other kids. It's like he's only fixated on my kids because they're part of me. He yells at me for not letting him see them, when he is the one who never asks. I don't think I am being unreasonable at all; being around him makes me sick and I am scared out of my mind, but he just keeps telling me "it was in the past, get over it". There is no way someone changes in a matter of months. I really do not think he has changed, and I am scared; I still have nightmares of what he did.

Does anyone have any advice? My primary concern is my kids. I don't want to lose them, or let anyone hurt them.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

Press charges. Get a restraining order. Take it as far as you are able to see your kids are safe. They are top priority. And, as their mother, you are on that short list as well. You need to protect them from him. He sounds like a lunatic and I wouldn't trust someone like that with my kids... father or not. Fuck that shit.

*hugs Anji*
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

Advice that more illegal: Kill the motherfucker!!!!! The world would be better without his abusive ass. My mother had things like that happen with my now deceased father. Apparently I have forgotten, but like 13 years old I shoved him to the ground [fyi he like 6'3'] and said STOP HITTING MY MOM shielding her. He walked off, eventually got back to NY and eventually he died from diabetes.

What DA has said is the more accurate means of getting rid of him. Still be awesome if round up your exs and male friends, trick him into an encounter, and give a message with a beating he'll never forget. They say violence is never the answer, but sometimes its necessary to get it across or scare someone shitless.

Things will get better, that much I am certain about. ^-^
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

I'm of the mind set that some of your friends might ask if he needs to disappear.

I'd say to tell them you don't want to know anything about it and don't know anything about it. File for a restraining order and make sure you have full custody.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

The full custody is what i am worried about, since he fooled the therapist into releasing him from mental supervision. Apparently, the therapist thought I was at fault.

And good for you Sanoci! <3 He undoubtedly deserved it. And yes, I hope things will get better.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

Just go for option 1, hell I would be willing to murder the scumbag if requested. Brightens my day when another douche bag is no longer polluting our world. By the way the Therapist is an idiot, do not let scare you from protecting your lil ones. Hate to say the following, but judges are usually more sympathetic towards the mother thus your gain.
 
RE: =All About Defiant.Anjeru= {Journal, apologies, absences, etc}

That's good~

My thought for today: Tired of having my heart hurt. It can only take so much, you know. Stomp too hard, and you'll crush it.
 
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