Your support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)MirrorCracked
Moon
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2010
(Criticism is appreciated! The second one is metrically based on "Eros Turannos," an Edwin Arlington Robinson poem; I love that structure.)
The First Suitor
Brutal men may well be gentle;
So I've seen, a hundred times.
In the way one holds a lover,
I could never trace his crimes.
Sullen convicts, careless killers,
Calloused almost to the heart,
Cradle love like something wounded,
Scared that it will break apart.
Clutching love in trembling fingers,
So it scarcely knows it's caught,
Brutal men may well be gentle --
I suspect that I would not.
Something tense and less than gentle
Rises in me at your name,
Coiling, snaking, spinning, writhing,
Like a streamer in a flame.
---
The Un-Suitor
I love you. I don't know or care
If you admire or scorn me.
I watch the rain adorn your hair,
The way you should adorn me.
You'll still the fears that fill my head:
A future with these words unsaid,
An empty house, an empty bed,
And no one there to mourn me.
You love me. Yes, you said that much
When drinking left you bleary.
You love the way we almost touch
On evenings bored and beery.
And at some undecided date,
A week, a month, a decade late,
You'll choose the one who chose to wait
When others left you weary.
---
The Last Suitor
Love is not a dingy bar,
Love is not a shining star,
Love is not a crystal tear --
Love is here.
Love is not a tinny verse,
Love is better, love is worse.
Love is not a why or how --
Love is now.
Love is not a winning move.
Love is not a point to prove.
Love is not a perfect kiss --
Love is this.
The First Suitor
Brutal men may well be gentle;
So I've seen, a hundred times.
In the way one holds a lover,
I could never trace his crimes.
Sullen convicts, careless killers,
Calloused almost to the heart,
Cradle love like something wounded,
Scared that it will break apart.
Clutching love in trembling fingers,
So it scarcely knows it's caught,
Brutal men may well be gentle --
I suspect that I would not.
Something tense and less than gentle
Rises in me at your name,
Coiling, snaking, spinning, writhing,
Like a streamer in a flame.
---
The Un-Suitor
I love you. I don't know or care
If you admire or scorn me.
I watch the rain adorn your hair,
The way you should adorn me.
You'll still the fears that fill my head:
A future with these words unsaid,
An empty house, an empty bed,
And no one there to mourn me.
You love me. Yes, you said that much
When drinking left you bleary.
You love the way we almost touch
On evenings bored and beery.
And at some undecided date,
A week, a month, a decade late,
You'll choose the one who chose to wait
When others left you weary.
---
The Last Suitor
Love is not a dingy bar,
Love is not a shining star,
Love is not a crystal tear --
Love is here.
Love is not a tinny verse,
Love is better, love is worse.
Love is not a why or how --
Love is now.
Love is not a winning move.
Love is not a point to prove.
Love is not a perfect kiss --
Love is this.
I just think that the word gentle in the last stanza of the First Suitor should be replaced since it has already been mentioned in the previous stanzas. Other than that, I love love love the whole piece.