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People rarely change for the better

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ForeverMischievous

ForeverMischievous

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Joined
Jul 29, 2011
The liqure, ripped at his mind, twisting his thoughts. The drugs, pushed andrenalin around his vains, turning the twisted thoughts, into actions. And it felt great... Never had he felt this. Strong? He had always felt weak, and fragile. When he was'nt together with Maya, that is. She was his everything, and would always be. She kept him running. At least, so it used to be? He didn't feel, he needed her, the same way he used to. He felt, something else, driving his engines. It felt wonderfull, in a differant way. A way, she didn't make him feel. Not differant, in a better way. But differant in a way, that worked.
It had been several hours, since the party had ended, and the walk from there, to their appartment, was no longer then thirty minuttes. Yet, first now they arrived. He had insisted on staying. He didn't want to leave his new 'friends'. In his mind, they where friends. They sold him things, that worked as an antidote, a way similar to Maya. Maya. His beautifull girlfriend. His twisted mind, send thoughts around his head, he could not control. Or could he? Was he in fact, only now, truely in control? He was'nt sure. He could'nt decide.

As they arrived at the appartment, he somehat stumbled up the stairs. He didn't wait for Maya, as he used to, only haveing one thing in mind, at a time. Right now, that was Beer. He knew they had some in the fridge, that was only really being had, when ever friends where over, and a few beers where given around. He only rarely got drunk, as much as he was now. And it felt. Great? He just wanted more.
As he reached the end of the stairs, he almost bumped against the door, fumbleing in his pockets for the keys. He didn't have them, but Maya did. His eyes turned towards Maya, and his eyes blinked a few times, to gain focus. "You've.. Got the keys?" His voice, hoarse and his breath stained with the stench of alcohol. He had much more tonight, then usual, she would've deffinatly noticed. He had'nt taken any of the drugs, anywhere near her. At first being descreet, not really wanting her to notice. Not wanting her to know. But she would've possibly noticed. He was far more frisky. Far more forward, then he used to. Not really his calm and gentle self. There was something differant, dominating his mind. For better, or for worse.
 
Maya's head buzzed with the alcohol that ran through it as she and her boyfriend walked home from that crazy party. She was buzzed, but he was trashed; the way he was stumbling all over the streets made her nervous. She rarely ever took him to a party just because she knew his father had been an alcoholic, but tonight was her best friends 21st and she really only had one friend besides James.
Halfway to their house James went off a bit ahead of her and she sat back in thought. She wasn't really worried about him since they had walked this path plenty of times before, but she was worried about what had happened to him at the party. She got separated from him early on and saw him leaving a room around the end with people she remembered from her high school, the partiers. Maya just let him be after that, but when he insisted on staying was when she became suspicious.

She watched him as he sped up the stairs; surprised that they were already home. Keys in hand she walked up and unlocked the door. The stench on James' breath was heavy as she walked past him into their apartment. Maya walked straight to the couch and plopped down on the cushion. "Did you have fun?" She called back through the small space. She knew that he didn't really know anybody, so she didn't know how his time went for him.
 
James' eyes, had started shooting red strings, because of the straining. He was rather tierd, there was no doubt about this. But the alcohol. The drugs. It all payed back its price in its fullest, not allowing him ny rest. In neither mind, nor body. His eyes followed Maya on her way past him, leaning down to kiss her head, as she passed by. The mere scent of her, played the usual tune in his head. Soothing and pleasing. But this time, it not only calmed him down, as it used to. It ignited a spark, that was'nt that strange. His girlfriend was attractive. He would say perfect. His hand, then slapped her behind as they entered, and she head for the couch, and he for the kitchen. He enjoyed teasing, so gently slapping her behind, he had done before. But his hand, was more rough this time. Everything he did, was an exaduration, of what he usually did. He walked towards the kitchen, itching his face with his palm, turning his eyes towards the couch, and Maya, as she spoke. He grinned widely, before entering the kitchen, where their eyes could'nt meet.

"Deffinatly.. Alcohol there, was rather.. Cheap." He pinched his eyes, itching them with two fingers, as he opened the fridge, pulling out a beer, as he leant his head back, sighing in relief. The alcohol. It was so soothing. So calming. So agrivateing... He opened the beer, and took a deep rush for it, instantly feeling its effect, running to his head. Now he understood. Now he understood, why anyone would do this. He barely remembered anything. Nothing was in his mind. It was just blown away. Brought to a halt. It felt good.
He left the kitchen, sighing, as he leant against the corner of the wall, looking towards Maya, with a slight grin. He nodded a single time towards her, raising his beer. "How about you? We.. Fell appart at one time.. Sorry ab.. About that." He said, putting the beer to his lips, takeing down another large sip, as he closed his eyes.
 
She scoffed at his remark. Cheap? They were have grade A shots in the living room, but then he brought up getting separated. She almost forgot that he had run off with these strangers to him which was odd for him to do. She looked over to him with an expression of trying to figure him out. "Do you really think more alcohol is good for you?" She asked with concern in her voice. "I mean I don't know how much you drank since we were apart, but from the stench on your breath I would guess quite a bit. Which raises the question: What were you doing? I saw you come out of a room followed by a few guys who just don't seem to know there limits." She told him as she stood up and walked over to him, swiftly grabbing the beer on her way. "You don't need to be drinking anyways." She scolded him as the half-empty bottle hit the trash can.
 
Her expretion was clear, but his mind too cloudy, to make it out. He could not tell from it, what she was thinking. He usually could. It frusted him slightly. Did he even barely know Maya? Noo he had to know her pretty well. He didn't remember. Didn't remember anything. He blinked his eyes a few times, to catch focus once again, shakeing his head a bit, eyes back on her as she spoke again. He grinned slightly, at her question, and he shrugged, takeing another sip, sighing in relief afterwards. "Now, is when it acctually tastes good.. Why not enjoy it.. Then?" He asked, chuckleing softly. Her many words, played along in his mind. He could'nt put them all together. He didn't get the full context of her sentence. Only got a few things, from what she said. She complainted about his drinking, his breath, and she asked a question. A question, he could'nt answer. What had he been doing? Did he forget? He had never been drunk enough, to forget his actions. But it seemed her was now. Or perhaps the drugs did their work, clouding him enough, to not even remember his devious actions? If there where any. So all he could do, was shrug. Shrug, once again. "No idea.. But it had to've been fun, or else it would'nt have this effect on me now. He rose the beer as she approached, blinking as she took it from him. He watched it drop to the trash, as her scolding went through his head. It took him a few seconds, to realise it had even been scolding, but as he did, he took a quick step towards her, reached out and grabbed her arm, with a firm grip. He was'nt gentle, as he would usually've been, as he pulled her back to him. "Don't you scold me... What if I felt like drinking.. Felt like enjoying that last beer, before I go to bed?" He asked, with a harhshness in his voice, he never had before. He reminded himself of someone, but he could not tell who. He didn't let go of her arm, after he had finished his sentence, his strong hand, gripped around it tightly.
 
Maya knew that she had made the right choice in taking the drink away; that was until she felt a strong grip around her arm. A short gasp escaped her lips. Usually if he had anything to drink he was sure to be gentle and this was far from it. "Ouch. Obviously you DON'T need another beer since it seems you picked up your father's trait!" She yelled at him with a little struggle. She never yelled at him, but he never got rough with her like he was now. She relaxed herself and turned to face him best she could, "Just let go and we can go to bed." She couldn't believe how he was acting, and only now did she notice his bloodshot eyes. She could see that he had way too much to drink, but also that his pupils were diallated. She frowned as the worst ideas popped into her mind. "What did you do?" She repeated her earlier question but with more disbelief than curiosity.
 
His mind was raceing, as his hand gripped tightly around her arm. As if he didn't have control of his own strength. Unable to control, how tightly he gripped her. But why would he not have this? Perhaps. He was stronger then usual? The alcohol. The ecstacy.. Made him stronger? This was far from the fact, but that is what his mind told him. He had always been a strong man, and kid at that time. He just never abused his strength, as he did now.
His bloodshot eyes was narrowed, as she mentioned his father, and it once again, took several seconds for him to put pieces together. His eyes was then widdened a bit instead, and he pulled her closer, tightening the grip as his eyes shot into anger. "Don't pull the family card on me, Maya! I'm nothing like my father! You've never even seen my father, only heard about him, from me! What do you know about him!? Nothing!" His words, barely even made sence, as they where shouted out, his eyes narrowing again, this time in curseing malcontent. Her question made his eyes go confused, as if they tried to find something behind her, before they blinked a few times, and focused back on her. He then used his grip on her arm, to pull her to his side, so she hit against the wall, before he placed himself in front of her, arms on each side, as if he wanted to corner her down. "What's it to you? Can't I do as I wish? Drink what i want? Take what I want?" He spoke as if he remembered what he did, but he still did not. The time in the room, with some of Mayas friends friends, or perhaps not even people ment to be there, was clouded to him. He didn't remember the shots. The pills. Especially not the pills.
 
Maya had expected him to have calmed down by now, but she felt as if she were making things worse with every bit of pressure he put on her arm. She didn't want to play the family card, and as he shouted at her she realized that her plan had backfired because instead of him letting her go and sleeping it off she found herself up against a wall. Half of what he was saying didn't make it through to her; her focus was on everything else. A small rush of pain went to her head as it hit the wall and she felt so small as he towered over her and she took in his alcohol stained breath. His last sentance got to her though. "I am your girlfriend. I have the right to at least ask. And you can't 'take what you want.' Whatever you were doing in there was porbably illegal you dumbass." She explained roughly, but the tougher she felt the bigger her looked to her. She thought about how her life would be if she just left, but immediatly regretted the thought since it was plastered on her face as it crossed her mind.
 
The respect to her mistake, and rather harsh card, was clear on her face. But he didn't even catch that. He didn't catch much, that was placed on a plate before him. He'd possibly not even be able to answer, how many fingers someone held in front of him. No, he most deffinatly would'nt. He sneering eyes, still stared down at her, as he stood before her, perfectly in control. She could've tried to run, but she did not. This control, went to his head. It felt good, in his current clouded state. This control was adicting, just as much as the drugs and alcohol he had taken in. And just as bad for him.
Her mention, of being his girlfriend, seemed to have an effect on him. He was still in there, just clouded behind rivers of alcohol and thick walls of drugs. He could'nt bring it into him, realising she was simply worried. Worried about her boyfriend, just as he would be, if she had gotten too much. But she never did. SHe knew her limits. She did, around everything. He'd feel horrible, if he turned normal right now. Worse then that. He'd even have a hard time, showing his face. But he was'nt himself. He was something else. He, was drugs, alcohol and addiction. All the things, he had never been.
"Maybe so! But your not the authorities, so I do not! Have to answer to you.. Nor would you call my actions in! You would'nt dare... You brought me to that party!" He put extra preasure on the word brought, as his hand slammed against the wall by her side. It would've hurt his hand, if the alcohol, didn't sate pain, as much as it did in his state. The fiery eyes stared down upon her, with an anger, he had never held for anyone. Only one person, had even seen this anger. His father. It had always been bottled up, now letten lose, with the alcohol dominateing his sences. Leaving him a senseless shell. The card he had pulled, had not been fair. She had'nt forced him into that room. She had'nt put the pills on his tounge, the liqure to his neck. It was all him. None of her doing. But not even that, did he see.
 
For a split second she felt as if she saw him behind the clouded eyes of the man who was clearly not what she had dreams of living her life with. As his arm lifted up she cringed until it hit the wall. She could see the small indent it made to the cheap drywall. His words flowed through her head over and over. 'You brought me to that party' the phrase danced in her mind like a bug. He was right; she brought him there and this was her consequence. She was still unaware fully of what he did, but she could just imagine what it could do to him later. A tear left her eye as she pushed off the wall and hugged him. The last thing she wanted was a fight. She could feel him breathe and hear his heartbeat irregularly. "James." She whispered. That was the only thing she wanted at that moment. She wanted to hear his soft words and feel his soft touch, but she realized soon after that she would not recieve that, not tonight at least. Maya walked away from him in hopes that her hug got through to even a part of him. She went to grab blankets out of their room, for she was not sleeping where he was, not tonight at least. She loved him with all her heart, but she was scared without a clue what to do with a drugged up drunk at this hour.
 
James' eyes, still aflare, stared down at Maya, with malcontent, beyond anything he had ever felt. His actual feelings of faliure, was mixed with the anger of the drugs and alcohol. Who was he now? He deffinatly was'nt James. He had slammed his fist against their wall, makeing a deant? He had almost threatened the dearest thing, he ever had in his life? The drugs, being a long time since he took them, where slowly wearing off. The alcohol, was still dominent, but the effect on him, was changeing its effect. Realisations, seemed to run through her mind as well. What realisations? What did he say? What had he done? He didn't even remember that. A tear? A tear!? Did he make Maya cry? No, it could'nt've been him? Did he have bad news? No, his fists was tightened in anger, and his mind with agression.
James gasped as he was hugged. As if her body against him, pushed all air from his loungs, and all the clouds off his mind. But it didn't help his memory. He pinched his eyes tightly, just about to put an arm around his love, just as she walked off. Walked off to where? She went to bed? Good choise. He was somewhat tierd himself. He leant against the wall with one hand, putting the other on his face, itching it, as he groaned from the slight pain.
His face turned, as he heard Maya return, and his eyebrows rose. What was she doing? He followed her, with his eyes, not moveing an inch, turning his head when he had to. His face dropped towards the floor, as his legs gave up under him. He was clouded again. This time differently. Clouded by the loss of memory. Weakness. What had he just been on, to feel that strong? His legs gave up, as he dropped to his knees, breathing heavily, as he closed his eyes. He put his hand on his face again, itching it. He leant forward, his head leaning against the wall, as his eyes closed.

There he sat. If Maya didn't try to come in contact with him, half an hour went past, wher ehe just sat. Trying to remember, what he had been doing. So many hours, entirely forgotten. Perhaps, he would remember, if he was drunk again? Or at least. If he was strong once again? Not this weak and fragile boy. His hand dropped from his face, as his eyes turned towards Mayas rest. She made him feel strong. But why did he then have an urge, to go somewhere else? Seek strength, in something differant? His eyes got pinched, as a sneer spread on his lips, before he almost jumped up, and headed to get his keys, and then for the door. And if not interupted, through it.
 
she just figured it was all three. She got situated on the couch and started at the white celing thinking about what had happened. Her gut twisted with bad feelings, and she was sure that it was because of the way he acted before. She reassured herself multiple times that it wasn't her fault like he said it was, but stuff like that sticks to the brain until it consumes your mind. She frowned and thought of something happier, but a thump caught her attention. She looked over to James and sighed, 'He'll go to bed eventually,' she though and with a sigh she closed her eyes and thought about the joy tomorrow would bring. The times when James was the guy she met two years prior.
Just as she was about to fall asleep she heard him get up and grab the keys. "James?" She called out, but the door had already closed. She got up; her head was already pounding from the mix of last nights alcohol and the argument that felt one sided. Looking out the window she could still see the car, so she ran out the door and down the stairs, but she only watched as the car sped away. "Fuck." She mumbled in the darkness before heading back upstairs.
Maya decided to sleep in the comfort of her bed, and as she thought about it she began to think that he left because she wanted to sleep separately. She shook it off and fell asleep covered by light blankets but weighed down by guilt.
 
So many things, rushed through his head as he drove. He should not be behind the wheels of his car. He knew this. Yet here he was. What was driveing him through this? What pulled the chain, forceing him forward? Who swung the whip? He didn't know. All he knew was, that he needed more. Much, much more.
First hing, as he arrived at the bar, was ordering a shot. And then several more. The alcohol got dominance of his mind again. Swung his thoughts in a carosel, leaving him dizzy, and foggy. He didn't even need the drugs now. But he still wanted them! He had a number. But when he called it, he got no answer. Fuck it. He didn't need it. He just needed the alcohol. All he needed. Alcohol, and Maya. Maya. Whee was she? Why was she not with him? Why was he here alone? Nevermind, he'd just bring the party home, to her. Yeah, that'd be good. He left the bar, but only after buying a bottle of Whiskey. It worked so well, with everything else he had. It was perfect. This feeling was perfect! He was strong, confident, and without boundries. He had far too many of those before. Now, he was free. Or at least, so he felt. Was he really free?

He left the car, at the bar. Didn't need it. He'll walk home, the excersise, would do him well. His stumbleing walk, gave him out as an alcoholic. But he knew he was'nt. He didn't 'need' the alcohol. At least not yet. He just needed Maya. Didn't he?
As he got home, he almost walked against the door, forgetting to open it, before he did. He grunted, chuckleing slightly, putting the bottle of whiskey, now half empty, next to the door. It had been four hours, and it was nearing morning. His eyes where hazey, no longer they bright loveing green. As he opened the door, he stumbled slightly, streching his shoulders, leaving the bottle behind him. His eyes drifted around, looking for what he needed. Or at least, what he wanted. He then entered the livingroom, his hazed eyes, stinging towards Maya. Sleeping or not. An empty expretion, dizzyness written all over it. With a hint of something, he had never shown before. Being an entirely differant person now.
 
Maya's light sleep was awoken by a thump on the door, but thought it just another late night for someone, and she was right. The door was eventually opened by no other than James, or so she assumed. She just laid there unmoving because she wasn't sure who walked through that door just now. Sure it was James in body, but was it the James she had fallen in love with? She didn't really want to find out because if it was the James she had never seen before she wanted to be sure and steer clear.
After only a little while she could start to smell him, and she wasn't sure if it was because he was near her or because he drank so much that it just eventually floated to her; either way she could smell him, and it was worse than before. she flipped herself over to face in his direction instead of the couch. "Hey, babe." She said with a tired voice. She still hadn't checked the time, but assumed it was early.
 
The empty hazed eyes, stare down on Maya, as her sweet tierd voice, went through the room. He blinked a few times, lowering his head, to itch his eyes as he groaned silently. He wanted Maya. But he didn't want to go futher then this. Something felt wrong. He had an urge to do something, he did not really feel like. His hand stroked to itch his face, before his eyes, looked above it towards Maya. The eyes, had a certain hint. Certain yearning, he never showed towards her. He didn't just want her near, he wanted her body. But his eyes flickered. As if he controled it. As if he was still in control, of his drunken self. He pinched his eyes, and shook his head again, groaning as he took to his forehead. His teeth where clenched tightly together, his lips spread, in a painfull expretion. What had he done? The meories returned. The realisation, of where they'd been. And what he did. And what he had only just, almost done. A whimper escaped his lips, as he shook his head, turning to leave the livingroom, walking towards the bathroom. He could'nt even say sorry. He could'nt even look her in the eyes. What was this? What had taken over? The alcohol, still doing its best, to dominate his mind. Yet now, it only turned his walk to a stumble. He made it through the bathroom door, stumbleing to the sink, as he gasped for a clear reath. But he could take none. He coughed, almost forceing forth vomit, but he held it back. Held everything back. The wicked mindset. The malcontent. He didn't want to hurt Maya futher. He could'nt even imagine looking her in her eyes again. How could he ever stand tall, after what he had done?
He stumbled towards the shower, dropping on his knees bellow it. It hurt and scraped his knees, but the dimming effect of the alcohol, kept him from feeling it. He turned the shower on, cold water running from it, and over his body. He gave a gasp, clenching his teeth together, as the cold water, soaked his body and clothes. He didn't care. He wanted it off. Away. Never wanted it upon him again. this had to be washed off, before he would ever have a chance to explain this. Explain what!? How weak he was? How he didn't mean to do, what he did? Alcohol, should'nt beallowed this effect. He, let it happened. He could'nt let it happend again. He had to be strong. He had to be stronger, then his father..
 
There was nothing she felt she could do for him as she watched him itch and groan; his night seemed to be affecting both of them. It pained her to see him like this, so she closed her eyes until she heard him walk away. A bad feeling crossed over her; a conscious floating over her telling her that she needed to mend things. One part of her was telling her it was because she brought this upon him and the other part was telling her it was because no one should have to go through a bad night alone. She sat upright and sat on the couch for no less than a minute before she heard the shower begin to run.
Slowly she lifter herself, grabbed her blankets and pillows and put them back in their room. She grabbed some clean clothes for him and set them on the counter, grabbing his dirty clothes from the floor and taking them out. She wasn't awake enough to have a conversation so she left and started a load of laundry. Part of her wanted to join him, the curious part, but all other signs told her no. That it would be a bad idea to get in his way for now.
Maya started a pot of coffee for the both of them. She was tired and she was sure that he was tired too since he obviously didn't sleep. She felt like she was too good to him. Any other girl she knew would have been on his ass for being out, but not her. She was just letting things fall as they may. She walked to the door since she heard the small thump of the newspaper. She never really read the newspaper, but it never looked good to have newspaper stacks lie at your door. She opened the door and grabbed the paper, but something caught her eyes. She looked over and say a half empty bottle of whiskey. 'Well,' She thought, ' at least i know where he was.' She threw the paper inside on the floor and left with the bottle in her hand.
 
James' head, was spinning again. The effect from the alcohol, rushing through his system, slowly being cleaned out. He had controlled himself tonight. Stopped himself. How, he didn't know. How he even ended that deep, he didn't know either. Had he always been that weak? Just. Not noticing, not haveing drugs prescented to him before? No, now he was blameing Maya. It was'nt her fault, not even the slightest. He had to tell her that. Had to tell her, he was sorry. But how could he? How could he even look her in the eyes, with any shade of dignity left? He felt his weaknes, growing greater and greater. He felt the urge to do something. He felt the urge to drink again. To take more drugs, to cloud his mind. To forget this! To lay it behind him. But. Would that not leave her behind as well? Would she stay with him, if he turned into that? The monster he thought himself, when he had shouted at her. Hurt her. How could he have done such a thing?
A tear, slowly drifted down his cheek, amongst the cold rays of water. The shirt, and his pants, that he had not removed, now soaked in the cold water, makeing him freeze even more. And now as the effects where dropping, he started feeling it. Feeling it badly. It was so cold, it started pinching at his sides. A shakeing hand, reached up, to turn off the water, as he groaned, tighting a fist. More tears had welled up in his eyes, but never left them. Turning his eyes a red shade, as the blood shot stains, slowly vanished. Now turning him into the pathetic shade of a man, he felt himself. He was no longer someone he could be proud of. Someone he could look at, in the mirror. Unforgiveable.
These dismal thoughts, brought images of whiskey bottles and pills to his mind. Did he really need those, to be able to live with this? No. No he just needed some sleep. He started slowly getting to his feet, not bothering to reach for a towel, nor removeing the icy cold, wet clothes. He stumbled to the door, opening it, with a shakeing hand. As he left the bathroom, his eyes turned towards the kitchen, where lights where still on, guissing Maya was there. He slowly closed his eyes, his body still shakeing uncomfortably. As he stumbled down the hall, towards the bedroom, the hallways suddently seem to be spining, and everything went red, before his tall body, dropped to the floor, and he went unconcious, the liqure and drugs, finally takeing its toll.
 
She paced herself down the stairs not wanting to trip our of sleep deprivation. There was half a bottle left and she knew that it wasn't the cheapest stuff on earth, so she decided to hide it, but where. There were bushes and nooks, but she didn't want to hide it in public or in her apartment. She looked outside and saw that the sky was a cool blue making her think it was around six A.M. She sighed. There was no way that she would be able to fall back asleep now. She stepped outside and a cool breeze caused her hair to blow to her right. She could see the long, sandy brown hair of hers in her periphrial.
As a hiding place popped into her mind she grasped the bottle a little tighter. Hailey. That was the only place where she really could hide it without him going there. Another thought became vivid in her mind. A thought that he would want to go back there with the expectations of another last night experience.
Maya began walking. She didn't know where she was going, but about ten minutes in she found herself in an alleyway, and without thinking she threw the bottle against the wall. Shards of glass covered the pavement and the whiskey streamed down to her feet. She walked away. There was at least twenty dollars gone into that bottle, but her happiness was worth more than that she decided. As she walked back home a feeling overcame her that he would get mad, but she ignored it. She knew that last night what he did was the alcohol talking and that when she got back he would be back to himself. She decided to ignore that the previous night never happened and told herself to move on and look ahead to the future.
The stairs to her apartment seemed so much longer than usual, probably because she was eager to check on James. the door opened swiftly and he was nowhere in sight. She turned the light off on her way through the house and gasped when she saw James lying in the middle of the hallway. "James!" She called out. She rushed to his side and started shaking him while repeating his name frantically.
 
James, was only really uncontious, for fifteen minuttes, or so. After that, he just lay there, with his eyes closed. Thinking about what he had done. How weak he had been, while believing himself strong. he felt the aftereffect of the alcohol, pounding at his skull, as his eyes pinched tightly. Would Maya be able to forgive this? Alcohol clouded your mind, but didn't turn you into another person, did it? In his mind, it didn't. It had'nt been him, nor the alcohol talking. It had been his father. He had reminded himself of his father, so much. And it hurt worse, then being hit by a truck.
As he heard the door open, his eyes slowly did so as well, stareing forward into the wall next to him. He gulped, and blinked, with a pinch of his eyes, trying to focus them some more. He had to be strong, or at least pretend to, now that she was back. He had to appologice. Appologice for something, that barely even diserved forgiveness. Yet as he heard her voice, call out his name, a smile slowly spread on his face, and he closed his eyes. Yet as she arrived by his side, he rose a hand, gently takeing one of Mayas.

"I. I'm fine. Don't.." He gulped, and gently squeezed her hand, before he slowly rose from the ground, with his other hand. His eyes was still towards the floor, still haveing a hard time, looking into Mayas beautifull eyes. He got up to a sit, with much struggleing, before his eyes finally turned to hers. The descreet smile, was now gone, into a shamed frown. "I'm sorry Maya.. I.. Really am.. I promise.. I'll never put you.. In. That kind of situation again.." He said, his hands still trembleing from the cold waters, as one rose for her cheek, but hesitated on its way, shakeing slightly, before it dropped back down on his lap.
 
A wave of relief washed over Maya when she was him smile because she could tell that the man before her was the man she had fallen for. She could tell that he wasn't a hundred percent better, or at least that's what she assumed since he hadn't gotten any sleep yet. As he sat up she smiled at him with a satisfied glow and when his face wore a frown she gazed at him with loving eyes. There was no way she wouldn't forgive him for his small actions and at last said, "Don't worry about it, I already forgot about the whole thing." She smiled when his trembling hand raised to her cheek. "It really wasn't bad enough to dwell on, and I love you so in good times and in bad I have to believe in you, and look at you now. You don't know how much that smile means to me right now." She stood up and let down a hand to help him up. "I made coffee." She said with a beaming smile. Maybe it was the sleepless night that made her so unbearably happy or because she knew her James was back, but either way she was happy And she didn't care the reason.
 
James' eyes, looked humbly back into Mayas, gulping as he awaited her reaction. Yet as he caught the love in her eyes, his worried frown, slowly grew into a smile, yet his expretion kept humble. He still felt bad, even though he was granted this loveing embrace from her eyes. As she reasured him, that it had been forgotten, his eyes turned joyous, yet still with the tierd hint in them. He rose his hand again, and gently stroked her cheek with his cold fingers, as she spoke. He smiled, chuckleing a single time through his nose, as she mentioned his smile. He gulped, letting his hand drop to his lap, as she rose. He smiled and nodded, unable to do anything but chuckle softly, at her beaming smile. Maya had always been the beaming hope in his life, ever since he first layed eyes upon her. She ment everything to him, so how could he even have messed up, this badly? He could'nt figure out, what he had done wrong. How the drugs and alcohol, could've clouded him that heavily? A weakness in the family, perhaps? Either way, he would have to try and do his best, to forget it. Forget his weakness. Yet even though he was now looking upon the most beautifull thing he could imagine. The beaming smile, of his beautifull, kind and gentle girlfriend. He could'nt forgive himself.
He rose his hand, gently takeing hers, as he started to raise. He made sure, she would not have to work very much for it, knowing her weight far more then her, being almost a few heads higher, when she was on her bare feet. And as he got up, he let go of her hand, gently strokeing his over her back, leaving it on her side, to gently pull her other side against him, as he leant down to kiss her. The stench of alcohol had subsided, leaving only the smallest scent of it left. Yet if she wanted to pull away from the kiss, she would be able to. He stroked her side, before heading towards the kitchen.

"I thank you.. My love.. With all my heart.. I don't think, I could've ever forgiven myself, if you could not." He said, with a gentle smile, kissing Mayas forehead. "I've been a fool tonight.. What do you say.. That we go out for dinner, tomorrow?" He asked, smileing down on her.
 
Maya smiled as he rose up and kissed her. There was still a small hint of the whiskey on his breath, but that was the farthest thing from her mind. She looked up at his tall figure as he spoke and she laughed. "You may not have noticed, but it's about seven a.m. love." She smiled and walked to the kitchen with him.
She grabbed two cups and poured coffee into them both. She grabbed her quickly so that it could warm her cold hands. She had a hint of guilt on her face as she remembered why she was so cold. She wanted to tell him that she smashed the bottle, but she didn't really think he would care all too much and with that she let it drop. "Let's go to the beach." She smiled at him as the idea was said aloud. "We can picnic lunch there." She doubted it would be full since it was the middle of the day on a monday.
 
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