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FoxWriter
Cluster
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2011
- Location
- in the realm of lust and seduction
Harry stared morosely at his food, not eating even though he had made a show of putting food on his plate. Mostly it was just to keep the others from staring at him until he finally put some food in his mouth. It hadn't worked, half the table kept shooting him sly, well they thought it was sly, worried looks down the table.
Harry found no trouble in completely ignoring them. He had seated himself as far away from everyone else that he could. way down at the end of the table with a good two foot or more of distance between him and the nearest person. Anyone that tried to sit next to him either received a frosty glare or they where completely ignored. It was just another thing that had people worried.
He sighed a little and poked at the plate before shoving it away and shaking his head to himself. He was too nauseous to eat. He had faced a dragon just yesterday, a dragon for fucks sake. Of course he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. And worse yet Ron was still completely ignoring him. It made Harry feel very small, all of these things happening to him at once.
And he was scared, so very scared. Terrified, no petrified of that little Golden egg sitting on his bed in the dorms. He had refused to touch it and had refused to even attend, let alone participate in the party the Gryffindors had tried to throw him. opting instead to go straight to bed, where he didn't sleep.
Harry sighed and thrust himself from the Sunday Lunch table and stalked into the nearest empty classroom. which had been abandoned for the Tournament players to use if they needed practice. no one would follow harry, no one ever did, but he wouldn't show any weaknesses to the people in the Great Hall.
He flicked his wand at the door then at the walls muttering first a muffliato spell and then a silencio. It wasn't what the spells were supposed to be used for but they worked well to completely sound proof a room from the outside. Harry even used them on his bed curtains at night.
He sighed and set his wand down on a shelf before moving over to grip a table digging his nails into the hard wood and gritting his teeth so hard his jaw cracked. He felt like he was drowning, drowning in a sea of people and their expectations.
He was drowning in his terror. Drowning in his despair and depression and no one seamed to notice how hard he was struggling. Struggling to not go up to the highest tower in the castle and toss himself out the window.
He couldn't do that though, he was the Gryffindor Golden Boy. If he died, or rather, committed suicide the entire world would panic. 'always, others are at the forefront of your mind harry. Their needs are more important than ours' Those words were just another thing that had him drowning. Because they were true.
Harry swallowed his grief for a moment and then slowly drops of wetness began to fall onto the table; A wrenching sob fell from Harry's lips his nails digging even harder into the table as he began to scream. He just screamed at the top of his lungs filled with anger, anguish, pain, terror, and the unfairness of his entire life that no one ever seemed to care about.
He screamed and screamed and screamed sobbing hard tears rolling down his cheeks to land onto the table and his hands forming small little puddles of hurt and anguish. He screamed until his voice went hoarse and he couldn't scream anymore for fear of loosing his voice. He cried sobbing hard enough to send shudders wracking through his slim frame.
He continued to weep shaking his head hard as he dropped to his knees, his legs too weak to continue supporting him. Why him? Why was it always him that had to suffer so terribly? Why did he always have to be responsible? Why did he have to lock himself in order to feel or show emotions? Why him that was abandoned at every turn and left with no one and nothing at all.
He let out another gut wrenching scream, this one of pure anger his voice rasping with the scream as he damaged some of his vocal cords. He noticed nothing but the sudden horrid fury racing through him making him feel hot and vengeful.
He screamed harder and several items in the room suddenly burst apart exploding with his fury sending shards of glass through out the room making a formidable whirlwind of glass that cut through the room shredding everything that it touched showing Harry's fury.
He sat there, on his knees sobbing hard as his magic swirled and flashed hard against everything it could, Dismembering chairs and everything else. harry took no notice of the carnage his magic was wreaking as the door clicked and slowly creaked open. This was the only time he could vent, how dare someone interrupt it? Didn't they have almost all of his time as it was?
No one had dared enter the room for weeks, not after little Creevey had tried and ended up in the hospital when Harry failed to notice he was in the room. After that people had stopped Smothering him. Now the door was opening again, and Harry was now very, very pissed.
“Get out! Get the Fuck out!” Harry screamed thick drops of wet still rolling down his cheeks. The people, yes people in the door paused, hesitating for only a brief second before moving into the room and shutting the door firmly.
“Easy Harry, Mate.” the twins, muttered in unison. George was locking and re-silencing the room and Fred was taking slow careful steps towards Harry. Harry snarled and sobbed at the same time shaking now as Fred carefully wrapped his arms around the poor Gryffendor Golden Boy's drowning body and pulling him into a tight, warm, loving embrace.
“Shh Harry. We've got you.” George whispered his arms joining Fred's and Harry let go, he let go of everything his magic and rage dying down as he sobbed and sobbed into the twin's shirts. sobbing harder and harder with each passing moment until his body was shaking so hard the twins feared he was having convulsions and still he cried and cried and cried without stop.
After nearly an hour of sobbing until he'd made himself sick, twice, Harry finally calmed down his face red his eyes swollen his lip trembling and tears still flowing down his face. The Twins where relived though, that he was no longer screaming about how he hated the world, no longer complaining that no one seamed to love him, he wasn't simply screaming just to scream and he'd stopped sobbing so hard.
Fred was murmuring now, singing to Harry soft lullaby's that Harry didn't know, but that he liked immensely, and George was running his fingers gently through Harry's hair and rubbing his back alternately calming harry down so that he was nearly limp in their grasp and beginning to fall asleep. Sleep that he so desperately needed.
The Twins sighed softly, relieved that Harry had finally calmed down after nearly two hours of crying sobbing and screaming that had made them wonder if they shouldn't get a calming drought. harry was asleep now though, in their arms showing just how much he truly did trust them. it made them feel special because no one else had ever seen harry cry, no one else had dared.
“Harry?” Fred asked softly stroking Harry's neck but the boy didn't respond, he'd fallen into a deep sleep. George chuckled and flicked his wand at one of the tables turning it into a bed and made blankets out of another. they both carefully picked poor Harry up and tried to lay him down on the bed but he clung to Fred, and wouldn't let go.
“Harry, C'mon, Le'go Mate.” Fred teased gently looking almost amused but Harry just buried his head into Fred's chest and continued to slumber. George chuckled a little as he simply crawled onto the bed and slipped under the covers tugging Harry gently and he switched twins clinging to George instead. Fred flicked his wand at the lights and joined harry and George into the bed both of them holding Harry.
….......................
Harry sighed softly, waking slowly feeling warm and safe and not depressed for the first time since the school year had begun. He murmured something that even he didn't know what it was and snuggled into a warm soft body and paused. A warm soft body? Four arms wrapped around him. He almost tensed but the arms were wrapped loosely yet lovingly protective and he struggled to remember what had happened last night.
Slowly but surely he remembered and once he'd gotten over his burning shame at having tried to attack the twins he felt his chest get warm and his stomach flop back and forth like he was going to be sick only he had no nausea to go with it. He swallowed hard, a blush spreading across his face as he realized that that was the way he felt when he looked at Cho.
He stayed limp and calm simply reveling in the feeling of being taken care of snuggling deeper into one of the twins. his blush spread as the twin behind him followed creating a sandwich of three bodies that harry found himself perfectly alright with.
Had he woken up with anyone else he'd have hexed them so badly you couldn't even tell who they'd been and then obliviate their memories. He felt alright knowing that the twins had seen him cry . Perfectly fine waking with them wrapped so perfectly around his body and he realized that he'd had feelings for them ever since he'd first met them. Awkward.
“Harry? You awake?” Fred asked softly his hand running through Harry's hair as George shifted casting a pell and blinking.
“It's past noon.” he mumbled sleepily sounding amazed. No one had even tried to bother them. All three of them where both amused and pissed at the same time. They could be dead or dying in here and no one had even bothered to peek in the door. They knew this because George had set up alarms to go off if anyone had tried.
Harry sighed a little looking up into Fred's face blushing hard and pressing his face into the others chest again. Embarrassed with himself as he swallowed thickly. Ashamed of himself for such mortifying actions as he'd had last night. He swallowed hard again feeling the tears rise again.
“Harry? Are you alright?” George asked softly running his fingers softly through Harry's hair as Fred gently stroked Harry's cheek.
“Yeah...just feel really stupid.” he whispered hoarsely looking a bit startled before remembering how hard he'd been screaming last night.
“Don't.” George said smiling lightly kissing the back of Harry's neck. “You deserved that cry.” he stated simply Harry blushing hard and Fred chuckled.
“You rarely let yourself do anything just for you Harry. We don't mind. We wouldn't have come in at all if we did.” he promised and Harry smiled softly biting his lip hard.
“I just... it feels like I'm drowning all the time.” he whispered whipping tears from his eyes. “Like I'm going crazy and I'm sure that I am and Ron won't talk to me and Hermione's taken his side and half the Gryffindor's hate me and so does the rest of the school AGAIN and.. it's just not fair why does it always have to be ME!?” he demanded blinking and the twins sighed softly.
“Harry, Ron's a git!” Fred spit out angrily. “he's just using you so he can be more popular. And the rest of the school are all idiots. They don't matter at all!”
“I know.” Harry muttered softly. “I know all Ron wants is to be popular but... but he, I really do, did think of him as a friend. He kept me grounded, sane and now I have nothing.”
“You have us.” The twins whispered softly and Harry went beet red blushing and he smiled lightly.
“Thank you.” he whispered softly and the twins smiled pulling him into a two way hug.
“We'll never let you go.” Fred promised softly.
“Never let you fall.” George murmured lovingly
“Never Let you Drown.” Fred stated simply
“Be with you forever.” George swore and they both kissed Harry's temple.
“We Love you Harry.” they whispered in unison and Harry swallowed hard, silent tears spilling down his cheeks again.
“I love you too.” he whispered smiling brightly at them. “I love you too.” he promised and they simply laid there, holding each other, and loving each other.
Harry found no trouble in completely ignoring them. He had seated himself as far away from everyone else that he could. way down at the end of the table with a good two foot or more of distance between him and the nearest person. Anyone that tried to sit next to him either received a frosty glare or they where completely ignored. It was just another thing that had people worried.
He sighed a little and poked at the plate before shoving it away and shaking his head to himself. He was too nauseous to eat. He had faced a dragon just yesterday, a dragon for fucks sake. Of course he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. And worse yet Ron was still completely ignoring him. It made Harry feel very small, all of these things happening to him at once.
And he was scared, so very scared. Terrified, no petrified of that little Golden egg sitting on his bed in the dorms. He had refused to touch it and had refused to even attend, let alone participate in the party the Gryffindors had tried to throw him. opting instead to go straight to bed, where he didn't sleep.
Harry sighed and thrust himself from the Sunday Lunch table and stalked into the nearest empty classroom. which had been abandoned for the Tournament players to use if they needed practice. no one would follow harry, no one ever did, but he wouldn't show any weaknesses to the people in the Great Hall.
He flicked his wand at the door then at the walls muttering first a muffliato spell and then a silencio. It wasn't what the spells were supposed to be used for but they worked well to completely sound proof a room from the outside. Harry even used them on his bed curtains at night.
He sighed and set his wand down on a shelf before moving over to grip a table digging his nails into the hard wood and gritting his teeth so hard his jaw cracked. He felt like he was drowning, drowning in a sea of people and their expectations.
He was drowning in his terror. Drowning in his despair and depression and no one seamed to notice how hard he was struggling. Struggling to not go up to the highest tower in the castle and toss himself out the window.
He couldn't do that though, he was the Gryffindor Golden Boy. If he died, or rather, committed suicide the entire world would panic. 'always, others are at the forefront of your mind harry. Their needs are more important than ours' Those words were just another thing that had him drowning. Because they were true.
Harry swallowed his grief for a moment and then slowly drops of wetness began to fall onto the table; A wrenching sob fell from Harry's lips his nails digging even harder into the table as he began to scream. He just screamed at the top of his lungs filled with anger, anguish, pain, terror, and the unfairness of his entire life that no one ever seemed to care about.
He screamed and screamed and screamed sobbing hard tears rolling down his cheeks to land onto the table and his hands forming small little puddles of hurt and anguish. He screamed until his voice went hoarse and he couldn't scream anymore for fear of loosing his voice. He cried sobbing hard enough to send shudders wracking through his slim frame.
He continued to weep shaking his head hard as he dropped to his knees, his legs too weak to continue supporting him. Why him? Why was it always him that had to suffer so terribly? Why did he always have to be responsible? Why did he have to lock himself in order to feel or show emotions? Why him that was abandoned at every turn and left with no one and nothing at all.
He let out another gut wrenching scream, this one of pure anger his voice rasping with the scream as he damaged some of his vocal cords. He noticed nothing but the sudden horrid fury racing through him making him feel hot and vengeful.
He screamed harder and several items in the room suddenly burst apart exploding with his fury sending shards of glass through out the room making a formidable whirlwind of glass that cut through the room shredding everything that it touched showing Harry's fury.
He sat there, on his knees sobbing hard as his magic swirled and flashed hard against everything it could, Dismembering chairs and everything else. harry took no notice of the carnage his magic was wreaking as the door clicked and slowly creaked open. This was the only time he could vent, how dare someone interrupt it? Didn't they have almost all of his time as it was?
No one had dared enter the room for weeks, not after little Creevey had tried and ended up in the hospital when Harry failed to notice he was in the room. After that people had stopped Smothering him. Now the door was opening again, and Harry was now very, very pissed.
“Get out! Get the Fuck out!” Harry screamed thick drops of wet still rolling down his cheeks. The people, yes people in the door paused, hesitating for only a brief second before moving into the room and shutting the door firmly.
“Easy Harry, Mate.” the twins, muttered in unison. George was locking and re-silencing the room and Fred was taking slow careful steps towards Harry. Harry snarled and sobbed at the same time shaking now as Fred carefully wrapped his arms around the poor Gryffendor Golden Boy's drowning body and pulling him into a tight, warm, loving embrace.
“Shh Harry. We've got you.” George whispered his arms joining Fred's and Harry let go, he let go of everything his magic and rage dying down as he sobbed and sobbed into the twin's shirts. sobbing harder and harder with each passing moment until his body was shaking so hard the twins feared he was having convulsions and still he cried and cried and cried without stop.
After nearly an hour of sobbing until he'd made himself sick, twice, Harry finally calmed down his face red his eyes swollen his lip trembling and tears still flowing down his face. The Twins where relived though, that he was no longer screaming about how he hated the world, no longer complaining that no one seamed to love him, he wasn't simply screaming just to scream and he'd stopped sobbing so hard.
Fred was murmuring now, singing to Harry soft lullaby's that Harry didn't know, but that he liked immensely, and George was running his fingers gently through Harry's hair and rubbing his back alternately calming harry down so that he was nearly limp in their grasp and beginning to fall asleep. Sleep that he so desperately needed.
The Twins sighed softly, relieved that Harry had finally calmed down after nearly two hours of crying sobbing and screaming that had made them wonder if they shouldn't get a calming drought. harry was asleep now though, in their arms showing just how much he truly did trust them. it made them feel special because no one else had ever seen harry cry, no one else had dared.
“Harry?” Fred asked softly stroking Harry's neck but the boy didn't respond, he'd fallen into a deep sleep. George chuckled and flicked his wand at one of the tables turning it into a bed and made blankets out of another. they both carefully picked poor Harry up and tried to lay him down on the bed but he clung to Fred, and wouldn't let go.
“Harry, C'mon, Le'go Mate.” Fred teased gently looking almost amused but Harry just buried his head into Fred's chest and continued to slumber. George chuckled a little as he simply crawled onto the bed and slipped under the covers tugging Harry gently and he switched twins clinging to George instead. Fred flicked his wand at the lights and joined harry and George into the bed both of them holding Harry.
….......................
Harry sighed softly, waking slowly feeling warm and safe and not depressed for the first time since the school year had begun. He murmured something that even he didn't know what it was and snuggled into a warm soft body and paused. A warm soft body? Four arms wrapped around him. He almost tensed but the arms were wrapped loosely yet lovingly protective and he struggled to remember what had happened last night.
Slowly but surely he remembered and once he'd gotten over his burning shame at having tried to attack the twins he felt his chest get warm and his stomach flop back and forth like he was going to be sick only he had no nausea to go with it. He swallowed hard, a blush spreading across his face as he realized that that was the way he felt when he looked at Cho.
He stayed limp and calm simply reveling in the feeling of being taken care of snuggling deeper into one of the twins. his blush spread as the twin behind him followed creating a sandwich of three bodies that harry found himself perfectly alright with.
Had he woken up with anyone else he'd have hexed them so badly you couldn't even tell who they'd been and then obliviate their memories. He felt alright knowing that the twins had seen him cry . Perfectly fine waking with them wrapped so perfectly around his body and he realized that he'd had feelings for them ever since he'd first met them. Awkward.
“Harry? You awake?” Fred asked softly his hand running through Harry's hair as George shifted casting a pell and blinking.
“It's past noon.” he mumbled sleepily sounding amazed. No one had even tried to bother them. All three of them where both amused and pissed at the same time. They could be dead or dying in here and no one had even bothered to peek in the door. They knew this because George had set up alarms to go off if anyone had tried.
Harry sighed a little looking up into Fred's face blushing hard and pressing his face into the others chest again. Embarrassed with himself as he swallowed thickly. Ashamed of himself for such mortifying actions as he'd had last night. He swallowed hard again feeling the tears rise again.
“Harry? Are you alright?” George asked softly running his fingers softly through Harry's hair as Fred gently stroked Harry's cheek.
“Yeah...just feel really stupid.” he whispered hoarsely looking a bit startled before remembering how hard he'd been screaming last night.
“Don't.” George said smiling lightly kissing the back of Harry's neck. “You deserved that cry.” he stated simply Harry blushing hard and Fred chuckled.
“You rarely let yourself do anything just for you Harry. We don't mind. We wouldn't have come in at all if we did.” he promised and Harry smiled softly biting his lip hard.
“I just... it feels like I'm drowning all the time.” he whispered whipping tears from his eyes. “Like I'm going crazy and I'm sure that I am and Ron won't talk to me and Hermione's taken his side and half the Gryffindor's hate me and so does the rest of the school AGAIN and.. it's just not fair why does it always have to be ME!?” he demanded blinking and the twins sighed softly.
“Harry, Ron's a git!” Fred spit out angrily. “he's just using you so he can be more popular. And the rest of the school are all idiots. They don't matter at all!”
“I know.” Harry muttered softly. “I know all Ron wants is to be popular but... but he, I really do, did think of him as a friend. He kept me grounded, sane and now I have nothing.”
“You have us.” The twins whispered softly and Harry went beet red blushing and he smiled lightly.
“Thank you.” he whispered softly and the twins smiled pulling him into a two way hug.
“We'll never let you go.” Fred promised softly.
“Never let you fall.” George murmured lovingly
“Never Let you Drown.” Fred stated simply
“Be with you forever.” George swore and they both kissed Harry's temple.
“We Love you Harry.” they whispered in unison and Harry swallowed hard, silent tears spilling down his cheeks again.
“I love you too.” he whispered smiling brightly at them. “I love you too.” he promised and they simply laid there, holding each other, and loving each other.