In the wind

[Sesu]

Is it possible to be a switch that's not good at being sub or dom? I like being powerful and sometimes inflict pain on others, but I also like being beaten down and controlled. On the rare occasion that I play dom I find that I'm eventually worried about what to do next and how to keep it up but often when I play the sub I find myself resentful and hating my own characters for being so weak.

I guess a lot of why I'm on this site is in some sort of search for self discovery. (Isn't that a pretentious sentence..)

I don't seem to have my own kinks. I play others but they aren't mine. I wish they were. I wish I had extreme fetishes and preferences. Maybe if I keep at it, it'll take.

Oddly enough, the more sub I go, the more dom I fantasize about being.

-More to come. Hopefully something a little more cheery in the future.

 

[Sesu]

Alright, so I'm trying to take an active role in finding my niche in rping. I've been rping for years but as I stated above, it's come to my attention that I haven't been as into it, or getting as much out of it, as I'd like. So I've decided to try creating the scenario, world, and story for my dom partner. So far I'm really liking it. I think it gives me the control over the situation that I want and it's actually really fun trying to come up with situations he might like.

 

[Sesu]

I like public sex! That's a fetish right? Eat that world! I've also realized that though most of the rp fetishes aren't my ideas, I do indeed enjoy them. I also like ripped tights and when cocks are so big they make a woman's stomach bulge. I also enjoy writing crazy masochists, the kind that try to masturbate with broken fingers.

See, and you were worried I wouldn't figure myself out. It only took a few months (maybe half a year...) of reflection and probing (great use of the word, right?) and I've got it.