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Emoetry

Ahroun_Deltori

Ahroun_Deltori

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 14, 2011
Location
Manchester NH
Well Here we go. The ups and downs of my life as written through my eyes. I have some old works that will not appear on this forum because I don't want to take the time to copy and paste them all from Gaia. So here we are. Enjoy, you will find out that I am both a hopeless romantic and a pessimistic emo.

How is it that when you need people the most, they can sit there and turn their back on you. When you're down and broken. Badly beaten no one is there to sit and comfort you. In the dizzying shadows, I meet my fate. My hopes and dreams stripped away at the mere vulnerabilities. My heart and soul died shortly before Valentines Day. Another cruel reminder of the fate that I am to lead. I open my eyes and I can see nothing but the pain and torment of others and I try to close my eyes, but to no avail. The images keep flooding into my head.

Worthless, cheap, lazy, Scum, You were an accident and you know it.... Go fuck yourself, I never want to deal with you ever again wretch.

Each word, each phrase, engraved itself on my heart. I sit in a corner to await my fate that will never come. An everlasting maelstrom of hate and negativity, blow me every which way, regardless or not my rudder. For I am like a boat with no sails. Unable to make it from one side of the great lake of dismay. Suddenly my boat capsizes, leaving me to try and swim.

Swim in the dizzying shadows. I feel myself pulled down deeper into the inky abyss, my mind flooded with the darkest views of the world. I find myself in another world. A much darker world, where the light and good are never seen. The barren wasteland is hellish and strangely cold. Fear grips at my heart as I realize, that the wasteland that I traveled was nothing more than my torn and tattered heart. I sit and try to cry but only tears of blood fall from my eyes, I curl up my legs rendered useless by the feeling of dread.

Though in the distance I see a light. May this be the redemption I was hoping for. I knew not at that time that my troubles were only beginning. With what petty strength I had left I dragged myself to that beacon, only to find that it wasn't a beacon of hope. It was the harbinger of chaos. The great beast. Frightened I laid there as I saw the enormous row of pointed, jagged, razor like teeth. Eyes as red as a dying ember. I felt the air move as I closed my eyes, I felt the teeth clench around me as it swallowed me whole. I felt myself falling, for how long I didn't know. I saw the ground, I knew what was coming.... 3....2....1..... My body shattered at the force of impact splitting my soul in two. I looked over and saw him coming my way. I couldn't move. My own dizzying shadow.

I closed my eyes and flinched feeling his obsidian fingers press to my throat. Everything looks dark, fuzzy. I cant focus. He's holding too tightly. I feel something soak into my shirt. His claws dug into my skin. I look again, My dizzying shadow, was none other than the beast. I gurgled in horror as my eyes grew dim, all life leaving my body.

Alone and dead I lay here my heart stilled by the great beast within, In the distance, echoing silently were my last words. Gomenasai... I'm sorry....
 
Relinquish to me your pain

Tired, weary, and worn
You stand before me
Your outlook desperately forlorn
That's not how it's to be

Relinquish to me your pain
that blazing firestorm
it seems to make you insane
The darkness within you taking form

The road you walk
Is a treacherous one
If you feel you've lost it all
Hold on to me until its done

I am but a means of release
The soothing feeling of a warm summer rain
In my arms give in to peace
Relinquish to me your pain
Redemption
Just like the end of the day
When the sun can no longer stay
the night creeps from out of sight
and banishes the light.

thats what you did to me
after I tried to make you see
You turned your back and walked away
Even though I begged you to stay

My once bitter heart is whole again
Now that I have found my Redemption
When I hold her close
It reminds me why I chose

Her over you
the better of the two
She has more to offer than you ever will Brandie
You just wanted a piece of Eye candy

Your words they bit like a thousand snakes
you come to me only to forsake
I shove you away
Day after day

Because you are the once deadly poison in my veins
It was me you almost slayed
with your malice and your spite
Tried to convince me to take my life

Brandie Go to hell where you belong
No more do I want to hear your Sirens song
Burn in the flames of your own creation
As I point and laugh in pure elation

Let the blade of my words bite deep
from your wrist let the blood seep
Spattered Crimson that tile floor
As you die the lowly whore

I was pulled from my abyss
into a world of eternal bliss
The one I love became my salvation
as youre burning in your own damnation

I hope you choke and die
because all you uttered was a lie
my heart once ripped out and burnt away
now is healed and beats and loves this day

Cassy My dear my sweet my mistress
My beautiful My Dark priestess
I love you with everything I am
be I blessed wretched or damned.

You mean the world to me
you couldnt stand to watch me bleed
so you picked me up and nursed me
the touch of your fingers Healed me

My heart beats for you and you alone
because you kept it from becoming stone
Before you I was a shell
You rescued me from my flaming hell

The Darkness of Brandie
The Purity of Cassy
My heart shines bright
To increase the light

Pushing the darkness away
like the dawn of a day
Cassy Ill hold you near
because to me youre dear

My goddess my reason for life
You banished the pain and strife
you were there when i was alone
You showed me that I did have a home

In your arms is where Ill be
with you My salvation
My Queen My angel
My eternal Redemption

The Vow of Passion
You came to me, wanting us to be.

I was your calm in the midst of a raging sea.

Days of sadness, nights of sorrow

I pray to the Goddess that I’d find you tomorrow

Prevented by my family from seeing you again

Sometimes I wish that they could feel my pain.

The softness of your lips pressing against mine

Knowing that our hearts will always be intertwined

You had told me that I was forgiven

Even though there wasn’t any sin

Tortured Is my soul since I saw you last

My brothers told me to leave it in the past

They broke us apart, wanting for me a new start

Thus creating the darkness in my heart

Morena, I’ll find you again…eventually

Or I fear it’ll be the end of me

DLPII
The Outcast
Days gone by, Memories fade away,

It’s been like that since I was led astray.

The one whole path, I’ll never walk again.

Because of this sin, I’ll never be forgiven.

Such is the life of an outcast,

Wanting each day to be the last,

Will his sun burn nevermore?

Will this life be a time so sore?

A time to give, a time to lie

A time to live, a time to die

Nameless faces and faceless names

Life itself is not the same
The Betrayal
The darkness you laid in front of me

Like the gloom on the nighttime sea

You were the dusk to my Cliffside view

When we’re in the dark just us two

Then you betrayed me

Turned me against my family

You say you wanted us to be

Now I see it wasn’t really me

It was my life you needed

You would have gotten it if your plan had succeeded

Family was there from the very start

Even though I gave you my heart

They arrived to give us their blessings

Then you thought I was second guessing

Our love may be at an end

Out of everything I’ve been through I was my only friend

Phantom Girl
Who are you, Phantom Girl?

Staring at me through a dreamlike swirl

It drives me crazy just needing to know

Who you are, you need to show

The Question that flows throughout my mind

Your eyes haunt me all the time.

You are the embodiment of beauty

But why did you choose me

Somehow I feel I know you

Could that be true?

Could you be the one who graces my dreams?

At one point were you with me?
Lament of the heart
This isn’t the world it used to be,

When the sun shone, and you were with me.

Our lives were great, our lives were grand,

Until our love came to an end.

All of our unbridled bliss,

Rode itself into the abyss

There’s time to cry, there’s time to weep

Until we fall into eternal sleep.

Without love to bind us

Death is precious

Because for now we’ll be

Together for Eternity
The Fatality of Life
I turn around, day after Day.
Hoping and praying that Id see you again.
Lives were lost back then for the same circumstances.
All I can do is sit and pray.
So I stand alone in the rain.
As the firefly dances

As the light falls from the sky,
So much of this pain will soon fade.
This hole in my chest bleeds through
When I felt you cry
Tears in your eyes of Jade
The last thing I saw was you.

At night I dream of just you and me.
Laying side by side
In each others arms
On that cliff overlooking the sea,
The only thing in my mind,
Are the men who caused you harm.

That empty meadow,
The blade so sharp
When he dealt the final blow
That meant to strike my heart.

I love you...
I always did...
I always will...
Our love grew
When we were kids
Till with death we lay still.
Rage
Brother......this is all I feel for you.....and you for me....you will pay



I feel the blood in my veins
When I do its always the same
its coming, the harbinger of darkness
surrounding me, swallowing; my enernal Abyss

I hear the crack of bone..
the way you act when youre alone..
Teeming with rage you strike me down
but It wasnt right let me show you how..

as the blood flows from my lip...
the life force drains from your wrist
Deaths playful reminder...
that you should have stayed beside her

The feel of my fist striking your chest
makes you wish for eternal rest
Silently I strike again and again
until your vision starts to dim

we are locked for eternity
two storms on the mighty sea
we were meant to destroy
the only thing that can fill this void...

Death Comes For Me
I dont think I can
she means the world to me
there are things that define a man
one that I can never hope to be

Death comes for me

My sun set never to rise again
My beacon of light dims
the ravens song that turns to sin
like scissors to my life memories seem to thin

Death comes for me

all my hopes and dreams
everything I hoped for
NOTHING is what it seems
my weary heart is worn

Death comes for me

With my last breath I fight
Fire with fire
For the creatures of the night
but i quickly seem to tire...

Death comes for me

Life holds no more meaning
barren wastes
with rage im teeming
the blood i taste

Death comes for me
 
"Tired, weary, and worn
You stand before me
Your outlook desperately forlorn
That's not how it's to be"

OH ITS SO WONDERFULLY WRITTEN!
Oh you are so talented! Please write more!!
 
Wastelander

Why is it that when you least expect it, your past rises up from the river of time to torment you. The continuity of those times, you try so hard to run from do nothing but impede your progress forward.

I try to keep my eyes set on the horizon before me, though it's never a surprise when something comes around to make me turn about and start heading the way I came. He found me that day before it all seemed hopeless and yet when I run to him he pushes me away. I sigh as I watch him from a distance, like viewing his actions through the frosted window of my heart.

He's only around when he needs me, when he wants me. Though it's not acceptable for me to run to him. So I left him, as I focused on gathering whatever shards of my heart I could that were left there lying shattered on the blacktop. I'm guessing he found and held on to the pieces I'd missed.

I move on as the currents of the great river carried me forward. I drifted as I normally do, then I found her. Much to my despair the same thing happened, and once again I took the slivers I could and left. My heart broken and battered I fled once more this time enveloped in my own darkness.

I lay there broodingly, wishing the pain would just fade away, though it just seemed to grow until the pieces of my heart became callused and cold. I walked for a time unable to feel, my body and mind numbed by the icy blood coursing through my body. I cared little for the things in this world or the next, I just continued on a mere shell of a man.

That was until I found what I thought was my salvation. Everything was well and I could feel my heart thaw. He seemed to bring out what was once good in me. I was wrong... Attention whore, crybaby, bitch.... He act's as if I never shared the good times along with the bad. Then I'm faced with my past, not only is he treating me as the first did, but who decides to come bring their heads out of the river and grab hold of my leg in an attempt to pull me back into the darkness of my past.

I beg for his help but all I receive in return is a cold dark stare. My heart stops as it shatters one final time. I break away and grab a single thin splinter, as I dash away cold and alone. Am I never to feel happy? Am I doomed to feel desolate as the wasteland I wander? I pray not though if that's the case then I fear I am not long for this world. I would rather lie here and waste away than to give up my tiny glimmer of the innocence I once had.
 
Apathetic Synthetic

(Just so you all know I'm having quite a rough time right now. I'm about to flash, again. I wrote this poem in hope that my words would be understood. I wrote this poem as I listened to BfmV's album The Poison. The numbers at each passage are the tracks I wrote them to. If you want the full effect of this poem, do listen to the album with the music blaring right next to you. Darkness has risen and his name is Shadow.)


(2) I wait wait wearily for the day that you take me back. I was a fool. I realize that, but does that mean that I have no feelings. When I walk down the street and see couples holding hands and cuddling. It hurts, but it hurts to see you in the arms of another man. All I can do is sit here and suffer.... Apathetic.....My heart itself Synthetic.

(2,3) I walk this path broken and lost, others come up to me and bid me to follow them, it doesn't feel right. So I flee, back into the darkness where I first met you, your radiance showing the way through the maze-like forest of concrete walls. I find myself in that dark hollow once again near that point of breaking. How can I find someone else when you hold my heart in your hands. If you drop it, the beating flesh will decay and rot. I gave it to you, yet you sit there Apathetic.... the heart you keep safe, you think Synthetic.

(3)I promised you one day I would come back a bigger man. The man you fell in love with all those years ago. It's a long time ago. You can't just sit there and pretend that none of it happened. To cast me into the wings like I'm one of your friends. I won't sit here Apathetic, MY HEART ISN'T SYNTHETIC!!!!

(4)Why don't you believe me when I say I'm sorry. It's not like I cheated or made you turn your back on family and friends. It's not like I lied when I said I loved you. You were my world..... Hell you still are my world, but what does it matter. I sit here in solitude hoping that you will once again wander the darkness, trying to save the soul that lies here forgotten in the deepest depths of the Abyss. I won't lie here on the floor apathetic. My love isn't synthetic.

(4,5) What can I do to make you understand. I'm crazy when I am without you. I'm falling deeper into this darker delireum. Looking for a savior, a cure. Yet you continue to turn away. If only you knew the thoughts that ran through my mind. If you knew what my heart is telling me. It's not like I'm a lifeless mannequin. It's not that I'm feeling apathetic..... I am not synthetic.

(5)If you poke me I bleed. If you break my heart I cry. If you ignore me I wander off. I am a living being, and it feels as if I don't have a say in anything anymore. I can't control my emotions. Hell I can't even control the fact that you are everything I hold dear. You are my earth my sun and my moon. Without you I am just floating here in the void. Nothing to do, perhaps I am apathetic in the least, my soul is beginning to feel synthetic.

(9) I sit here waiting for the end to come. I'm losing faith in everything. All my friends, and family. Transient..... Useless. Why do I even bother? Everything ends, sooner or later. I'm losing faith that you'll return to me. Why must it always end up being like this. Time after time. As cycles pass and Summerland lay just beyond my reach, I know that this might have been my only shot, So I sit here and watch as you lay there apathetic, my will Synthetic


(5)Last Entry.... I can't take it anymore. My heart and soul are gone. In this blanket of deepest despair I wrap myself in. I have grown about as cold and lifeless as those I mourn. If they were here now perhaps they would give me the answers I seek. I can't make heads or tails of anything anymore, so what makes you think I know which way to go? What to do. I sit here wating away my life fading before my eyes, longing for the warmth that you once brought into my life. Longing for the love that you had once enveloped me in to keep away the despair. My mind my body Apathetic, my heart now synthetic.
 
I like these a lot AD...I think most people have moments in their life where they could relate to them as well. Thank you for posting. *smiles*

If my nephew wasn't fast asleep, I would definitely be blaring BfmV... I notice a good portion of it was written during Suffocating under the words of sorrow (a favorite of mine)
 
It's one of my favorites as well. It's something I listen to when I fill with rage, and it allows me to let it out peacefully. I'm glad to hear that there is another BfmV fan out there. ^^ Glad to hear I'm not alone. *bows* I will attempt to continue with the good works.
 
Musings of a Fading Man

The darkness holds me close, as a mother her infant. I fight for breath, and yet I cannot draw the sweet nectar. I stare at the empty hospital bed as they lead me forward, all clad in white, they lay me down and put me under.

No dreams just the bleak nothingness within the recesses of my mind. Shall I be locked within for all eternity, or shall I rise up victoriously.The answer itself eludes me. I'm fearful that things might not go the way I planned. That they might not work out the way everyone assures me they will.

Once again I find myself that scared little boy. Alone in the world, once again faced with two choices. Take what I have of my remaining time, or hand myself over to strangers, that with a single slip would end everything I could have hoped to achieve in my brief lifetime.

I know that I have a lot to think about, considering everything that has happened. Not to mention everything I have to atone for. I just hope things will end up okay. I look down the path and see no light at either fork, just the abyss staring into my soul.

It's up to me to rebuild, and it's up to me to prove everyone wrong. Though it's hard to have faith in yourself when no one else does. I feel like I'm fading, and yet it seems I'm the only one to notice. It is what it is I guess. Whatever happens happens, because like the French say. "C'est la vie."
 
Be Mine Forever
This poem is for someone special in my life..If it weren't for them Id probably be dead...Thank you ...


There's a song that seems to speak to me
It was soothing like the sea

As the waves caress the shore
just like my facade you tore

I was bare, my heart exposed
my love for you brilliantly shone

You are the woman of my dreams...
You make my troubles rip at the seams

serene, calming, moved
Your eyes change my mood

Death cannot Separate
Worries seem to dissipate

My love for you is limitless
You company is eternal bliss

Your Beauty is unsurpassed
I know this life is not our last

Our lives will be intertwined
forever surpassed the end of time...
 
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