A New You [Reserved]

[Silver Lining]

Europe...how intimidating. Of course she was going to be in the comforting and familiar presence of her older cousin, but still! She had barely traversed across the state borderline, and now to take the suffocating bounds and leaps over the ocean and into a completely different country? Natalia was nervous, but excited...and everything in between. Such showed in the way she ran around her shared apartment, picking up any last necessities she could think of. Arianna had to be her best friend, the person she was closest to in means of who understood her. The college student was admittedly quirky and ritualistically awkward in social gatherings. She pulled it off, but nonetheless, it was getting her absolutely nowhere on the ladder to success when it came to being known at her campus.

It was a completely different story for her roommate Kendall, however.

He had it all. The looks, the personality...that unmistakably charming smile that made everyone's knees go weak, including her own. He was a sweetheart and the second person closest to her. They had known one another since they were toddlers and had always remained considerably close throughout the years without missing a beat. Of course, when it came down to moving out, it was only natural to board with one another when finally taking the plunge into becoming adults. It was scary, but Natalia had the warm assurance of Kendall, someone who truly helped her. He more than likely wasn't even aware of how much she admired him, such to the point where she had developed feelings over the past year. It would never be, though. She was awkward and cute, a tiny ball of energy that enjoyed reading too much and taking note of the small pleasures in life.

Someone of Kendall's stature...well, he deserved a young woman that was fit and sexy, demanded the attention of a room with her sickeningly sweet smile. The thought made her nauseous and Natalia opted for settling on the edge of her bed, hands pressed tight to the sides of her face. She was pouting. Did every twenty year old pout? Eh, fuck it, this was an exception to that rule. She was in love with her best friend, the popular stud on campus that was comically out of reach, as far as mutual attraction went.

By all means, Natalia wasn't ugly at all. In fact, she was quite pretty...but she had a horrible time showing it. Her hair was always a mess, the short bob layered around her youthful face. Eyes that were big and bright green, and lips so puckered that she looked to be sucking a lemon nearly every second. She was a fiery redhead, pale and horribly petite. Always having been the shortest in their class, standing at a little above five feet with an inch to spare, Natalia wasn't about to dream of legs that reached the sky.

Then again, she did enjoy how easy it was for Kendall to pick her up...

That brought a smile to her face and she glanced to her packed bags, knowing deep down within her gut, that this was going to only improve herself. It would be an adventure, something that was much needed. Arianna screamed in protest when Natalia dared to question if she should visit. A hermit, her cousin called her. That wasn't true, though! She was out of the house nearly every day, only because her schedule forced her to. Biting down into her bottom lip, she brushed off the vintage 'The Who' tee she currently wore, her jeans tattered and torn. Oh well, it wasn't classy, but it was Natalia. "Kendall," she called out, having a minor war with her largest luggage. "This thing is too heavy for me! Get your ripped ass over here and help before I tear my arms off," she exclaimed teasingly.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]It was a sort of weird feeling, knowing that Natalia was going to be gone for the next few weeks, and that he'd have the place all to himself. Why was that weird? He just wasn't used to not having her around. She had been busy through the day getting everything ready, her cute friend Arianna over to help. And he had just sat in his room, doing quite the opposite of what his usual nature was, a chivalrous type. Normally he would be out there, more than fine with attempting to help the girls out. But he just couldn't break out of this mood that he was in. He was going to miss her, even if she'd be back, he just didn't like the idea of not having someone to hang out with all the time and such. And really, he was starting to realize how much he had been taking the girl for granted.

Standing from his bed, he could tell things were going slightly more hectic outside of his door, and he just couldn't bring himself to not be helpful anymore, it was against his nature. He smiled at the little call from Natalia and nodded, opening his door and moving over to her. He was wearing a tight fitting polo with for fitting blue jeans to match. His medium length dark brown hair causing his eyes to stand out against his fair skin. He watched as Natalia struggled to pick up the suitcase, and he couldn't help but laugh softly as she did. A small hint of pink on his cheeks when she remarked about him being ripped.

"Now now Nat, you know I'm not ripped..." He smirked. It was sort of a flirty way to get her attention, but not just her's, Arianna's as well. He grabbed the bag and lifted it from her bed, holding it at his side with a smirk. Watching the girl with her big green eyes. They had been best friends since anyone can remember, going through everything together. They even had their first jobs at the same place, and hardly did anything with out the other. But that didn't mean their personalities were the same. He was much more outgoing than his friend, but he didn't mind that about her.

Natalia had a good head on her shoulders, and half the time she kept himself from doing a lot of things he would've regretted a hell of a lot later down the road. But he did feel bad for her some times, she was by no means an unattractive girl. He knew that, but she just didn't seem to want to work to find someone. He didn't know the feelings she had for him, and in truth, if he did he would probably be reluctant. Not for any other reason however, than fear that it could screw up something he held quite dear to him. Their friend ship.

"Where we heading with these?" He smiled, it was a fake smile. He honestly didn't want to see Natalia go. But he knew it was for her benefit, which was good, and he was glad for that reason. But it was just hard to know that she'd be away. "Don't forget your phone charger, I may need to call you late at night and ask you if it's a bad idea to do something." He winked, picking up her other bag for her as well. "What time is your flight again dear?"[/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

"Oh, you just have to put them by the front door, I'm not leaving until tomorrow morning," she admitted with a childish smile. She couldn't help it, but she wished she was leaving right here and now. Unknown to her roommate, Natalia had yet to realize just how much Kendall would miss her. Frankly, she felt as if their relationship had grown a bit...accustomed to. Bland. It was repetitive, and though she didn't mind it at all...she often felt out of the loop when it came to the other's social life. She didn't attend the parties he did, she didn't talk to the people he did and she sure as hell didn't get as much ass. Natalia wasn't one to complain however, but she was somewhat depressed at the thought of her almost giving him his freedom back. He would be able to bring over all the girls he wanted, without the presence of his blissfully oblivious and awkward roommate to ruin the mood.

Biting into her bottom lip harshly, forcing herself to stop thinking about these negative things, she settled her hands within the back pockets of her jeans. She was going to miss him, of course, but she wanted to prove a point. She didn't need anyone, and she had the ability to be adventurous. Hopefully, Arianna's amazing spirit could rub off on her and Natalia would come back to America as a completely new woman. She wanted to finally hatch out of this suffocating shell that entrapped her, she wanted to turn heads and make the guys drool. She wanted to be that girl with that sickeningly sweet smile, that all the girls secretly hated because they loathed to stand next to her due to the insufficient ability to compare.

She would prove them all wrong, including Kendall. Ulterior motives? Fuck yes.

Natalia looked up towards her best friend then, her teeth finally allowing the abused petal to slip away, where her tongue nurtured the flesh mildly. "Do you have plans tonight," she inquired, hoping that maybe her last night here, could be finished with some quality time between them. "If not...maybe we could order a pizza, watch a movie? I just...eh, hell, I want to get as much time with you as a can and I only have approximately fourteen hours to do so." If Kendall was going to go out, be it to a private dinner with a gorgeous gal or to drink beer with his buds, Natalia wouldn't hold it against him. She thought herself to be outwardly boring at times, sharing the personal opinion of herself with more than she would like to know. Hopefully Kendall never thought anything negative about her, and he'd eventually she just what he was missing.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]"Oh, well even better." He laughed softly, feeling a little bad that he hadn't really even known exactly when Natalia would be leaving. They really had grown rather distant over the past year. Something had been pushing a wedge between them. Unbeknown to him, it had a lot to do with the feelings she had for him, and the pent up ones that he reciprocated for her. He carried the bags to the door and set them by it, the apartment looking rather empty with most of her little things packed up, he knew he'd be pretty sad if he saw her room. Sure it was rather barren at the moment.

In truth, he knew that he took the girl for granted, though it was certainly all coming into perspective tonight. Everything he had been doing since they had moved in together had been pushing them apart, and he was getting tired of it. He missed her, badly. But he didn't think there was any possible way he could make that all up to her now. He didn't know that he put her through hell, every time he brought a girl home and took her to his room. Every time he told Natalia that he'd be going out to drink or something and to not expect him home. She must've been building a grudge towards him by now.

When Natalia spoke again, Kendall snapped out of it and gave her a smile. She asked him if he wanted to stay here tonight and hang out with her, since she'd be gone awhile. In truth, he had planned to go to a party. But he suddenly forgot about that, it didn't matter. He didn't want to have to miss her that much more. And if he did go to the party, she would just be on his mind the entire time anyways. "I'd love that...like old times huh?" He smiled, giving her a playful nudge as he grabbed her hand and lifted her up into his arms to carry her to the couch, playfully tossing her onto it. "Dibs on not picking the movie though!" [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

It was ironic, actually. Natalia was the type of girl to criticize the songs that spoke of walking around with a facade, a fake smile that would suppress the hint of being broken inside. Her heart was whole, she knew that much, but it felt as if it'd shatter into a million pieces at any second. She couldn't hold a grudge against him, because he was merely living his life. It was her own fault, for having developed deeply rooted feelings for him. He hadn't spurred it on, and thus, she had brought it upon herself. She'd deal with it by herself, too. Those girls he slept with...they were lucky, but they weren't permanent. She hadn't much to be jealous about, as they were temporary pleasures.

Natalia, she wanted to be undeviating, at least for Kendall.

Who was she kidding, though? He was her complete opposite and no, those stereotypical quotes weren't always true. Opposites rarely attracted, and her situation was a prime example of such. She had to endure a whole hell of a lot of pain, and she always would...at least until she moved on. When would that be, though? She was putting all of her hopes on Europe. Maybe there would be someone there, someone just for her...she could only hope. But no one could compare to Kendall, he was amazing and he made her feel...good. Well, not lately, due to him usually finding entertainment elsewhere. Then again she could only figure that things wouldn't stay the same after so many years.

People grew up, they changed...they found better things in life. Hell, Kendall had moved on over a year ago. They weren't that mismatched duo anymore. Natalia figured this out when most of Kendall's lovers deemed her to be his little sister, and comment on how cute she was. It was insulting, but she always smiled and brushed it off. Anyway, who was she to ruin that for him? Kendall seemed to enjoy those girls...and if he was happy, then that's all that mattered. She liked seeing him smile, even if it wasn't caused by her.

Yelping when her world was practically turned upside down, she couldn't suppress the laugh that had boiled up inside her. "I already put The Living Dead in," she admitted, quick to add, "The original one, of course." When was the last time they had done this? She couldn't even remember. Settled on the couch now, she looked up towards him, her eyes seeming strangely brighter than they usually were. He was going to spend his night with her, and that made her light up like an ultraviolet ray. "I might have ordered the pizza, too...so, just sit down," she urged, patting the space beside her.

Had he gone out instead? Natalia would have been sitting in front of their television with a half eaten pizza, an empty tissue box and close to twenty DVD cases. Such a murder scene was left plenty of times for him, when he stumbled back home at the brink of dawn.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]Kendall had been painfully oblivious to Natalia's feelings for this past year now. It just wasn't the same, they always thought moving in together would just make them closer, in reality though, it had driven them apart. Truthfully, there wasn't that much of a difference between high school and now. He had always been the popular guy, had always gone out and been with most girls that he wanted, but it was never made for Natalia to have to see every time. Or to cry whenever he wasn't home to spend time with her. Back then, they were either hanging out together, or they could at least text and such. Now it was just different.

That was far from his mind now though, he'd make this her night, and do whatever she wanted to do. He missed his best friend, he knew that. And he knew she wasn't going to come back from Europe the same girl he had grown up with, hell, she had flat out told him that was half the reason she was going. He wondered how it would be when she got back, if she would even give him the time of day anymore. He sighed at the thought but turned to Natalia as she told him she already had everything planned. Which made him grin, she had always been good about that. "Good, as I was about to say dibs on not doing that either.."

He winked playfully, normally in a situation like this. His arm would be around the girl. It was almost awkward for him, trying his best to run different ideas through his head on how to go about this. Had it really been that long since he'd sat down with her and relaxed? The thought almost sickened him. He was driving her to Europe, he realized that. "The Living Dead hm?" He smiled, thinking back to so many years ago. "Damn...it's been some time since that night we watched this huh? Scared the shit out of us...you couldn't sleep, so you asked to share my sleeping bag..." He trailed off, laughing softly at the thought. A twinge in his heart as he thought it over. Flashes running through his mind as realization hit him.

The past few years came rushing to him, every single thing Natalia had done to try and get his attention. To try to the be the girl he'd seduce, to try and be the girl he brought home with him. She had always done liitle things like that. And he had never noticed it. How stupid was he? The man who was known throughout the whole campus, one of the top scholars in the school, and he couldn't notice that the girl he had always been closest with...had feelings for him? After all of these years it just hit him. His eyes were probably wide with realizations as he mulled over everything, trying his best to act normal. He felt terrible now, how could he not have noticed that...and how the hell could he do that to the girl he cared for the most. She must hate him...she had to. He looked over to her, his ice blue eyes truly watching her for what seemed the first time. Softly whispering 'I'm sorry' he knew she wouldn't be able to tell that's what he said. But he had to say it. Giving her a playful nudge, he turned off the lights and sighed. [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

Natalia looked genuinely surprised, her eyes widening. "You remember," she murmured, smiling even more. She remembered that night like it was yesterday and oh, did she wish that it had truly happened yesterday. They shared the same sleeping bag...and she had nestled her head against his chest. His warmth had enveloped her in a buzzing field of comfort, and that was, to this day, the best sleep she had ever gotten. There was something about the way his arms fit around her waist, that had her growing weak. She had been lucky that night, because she had spent a good hour staring at his mouth, wondering what it would be like to kiss his lips. They looked so soft...they still did...

If she knew what he was thinking about, what he finally realized...she would have been embarrassed. Natalia would have run to her room, blushing the same hue of a strawberry and fumbling over a proper explanation. Kendall didn't see her as a love interest, and she understood that. She accepted it...but gods, why couldn't she just stop caring so much? Why did she have to continuously put herself out there, vulnerable to the rejection that came every single time? She was foolish...and she needed to be taught a lesson. Hopefully, these next few weeks would allow the young woman to get her head screwed on correctly.

"I won't get scared this time, though," she quipped with a smug grin. "I just admire this movie for its artistic output now. I mean come on, this film changed zombie films as we know it, it was a revolution," Natalia exclaimed, arms shooting up dramatically. Before she could decipher what was whispered, or what his face looked like, the lights were shut off and she was immersed within the opening scene. She was a bit of a film nut, especially when it came to horrors. Sure, she got scared nearly every time, but that's what she loved. The exhilaration that shot through her body when something popped out in a cheap scare, or nothing happened, leaving her on the edge of her seat in anticipation.

Tugging her slender legs up against her chest, she pressed them tightly to her, arms wrapped about herself and chin settled in between her knees. Her short black hair framed her face, the illumination of the television screen accentuating the sharp lines of her facial features. It seemed as though she was her most beautiful when she was naive, relaxed...and herself. Too bad not many could see that, because frankly, Natalia was quite the catch. She just needed a small nudge in the right direction, that was it.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]"Of course I remember." He nodded, he remembered it quite well. In fact, now that he thought of it. He had wanted to kiss her that night as well. But that had been a long past thought that he had forgotten. He figured back then, if he had done something like that, he would've lost his best friend. Besides, they were still young, and girls still had cooties. He smirked at the thought, watching Natalia as the movie started up. He always admired her passion for certain things. She was literally like an anchor for him, which he needed badly. Natlia was so good at keeping her head about herself, and truly putting herself towards something. She loved movies, and films, which Kendall loved. He didn't know many people that could take something like that and truly appreciate it in every aspect like she did.

Kendall didn't realize it, but he was staring at her. Watching her as she watched the movie. She was cute..no, not just cute. Natalia was pretty. She may not have layered herself with make up, or bought expensive push up bras, and done everything in her power to get guys to notice her. Maybe that's why now that he had realized so much, he could truly see just how pretty she was. As he snapped back to reality though, he had noticed that his fingers were neared to hers, his sub conscious reaching out to take her hand in his. Blushing at this, he pulled it away and turned to the movie. Watching quietly fo awhile as he let all the memories run through his mind.

Sick to his stomach, he felt a twinge in his heart once again. He was a terrible friend, and being a rather chivalrous guy, this was hard on him. He had treated the girl he cared for the most, like she was nothing. Even if they remained friends, he had never actually listened or noticed to what Natalia really wanted. She must've thought he was horrible. Realizing now what he had done wrong, he wondered if there was still a chance that he could make it up to her. "That's too bad then...my bed is much bigger than my sleeping bag was. And much more comfortable.." He laughed with a playful wink, watching her face, wanting badly to see how she'd react. He wasn't going to miss it this time. [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

"What," she blurted out, her head quickly snapping to the side. Her eyes were wide, and her cheeks were growing flushed. He couldn't have meant what it sounded like...right? No, he was just teasing her, because that's what he always did. At least, when making a comment having to do with his bed. Especially towards her, Natalia couldn't muster the thought of him actually wanting to...well...sleep with her. Girls that were light-years ahead of her when it came to general beauty and knowing what the fuck they were doing, had occupied Kendall's bed and it was going to stay that way.

Her hopes were suppressed for the sake of not wanting to look like a complete twit, and she simply laughed before punching him playfully in the upper arm. "Yeah, I bet it is," she countered before shaking her head, her smile somewhat wavering. She would probably melt in his hands like a ball of snow, if he dared touch her like he touched those special picks of his.

She had only slept with one person...and well...she didn't like talking about him.

Biting into her bottom lip, Natalia was trying very hard to keep her eyes on the movie. This was difficult, she could swear that he was staring at her, practically burning holes within her flesh in the process. What was wrong with him? Wanting to avoid conflict, she leaned back, her body still scrunched up. Maybe he was bored...and wanted to go out with his friends. Having never been the selfish type, she looked towards him. "Are you sure you want to be here," she asked, throwing caution to the wind. Oh well, if this ended with her being alone for the night, she didn't mind. She just wanted him to be comfortable, and do what he wanted to do. It would bother her a lot, to know that she was practically forcing him to spend time with her out of pity.

"I mean...aren't you...well you usually don't do this," she continued, "Watch a movie, I mean. You probably had plans, huh? Please, Kendall...if you want to go out, go ahead. I don't mind." She would have to have her father drive her to the airport then...but he had work, so did her mother. Fuck. She would have to take the bus if Kendall bailed on her.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]Kendall noticed every sign when she reacted to what he had said. The sudden blurting of a word she hadn't meant to let out, quite the giveaway. But her cheeks flushed, and he watched her big green eyes widen at the sound. He knew quite well at that moment that she would kill to have that happen. Though she tried to play it off, punching him playfully in the arm. He smiled a half smile, shaking the thought off for now. What was he supposed to do? Come out and flat out just say. 'Listen Natalia, I've been a dick all these years and stuff and just realized that you love me, wanna go have sex'. Who the fuck did stuff like that? He shook his head to himself. Gritting his teeth slightly now.

After a few moment, he heard her small voice speak again. She leaned back, and his heart sank when she spoke. She didn't even believe he wanted to be here. He felt like such an asshole at that moment. Shaking his head a bit, his hand instinctively went to hers now. His fingers brushing over hers lightly as he took her hand into his own. He knew it would grab her attention, he looked into her eyes and shook his head. "I don't want to be anywhere else Natalia, I promise...I've forgotten how much I enjoyed nights like this with you. I've missed them quite a lot.."

He nodded, sighing softly. "To be honest with you, this isn't the only thing I've taken for granted with you.." He shrugged as he sighed softly. "I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, or the rest of the month for that matter. I know you need to go, to get things done and such Natalia, but I'm going to miss you. I really am. I'm sorry I haven't been the best of friends lately. And I wish i could take it back. But I just hope you know that it's not going to be easy on me while you're gone..." He shrugged, squeezing her hand lightly. Knowing full well what he was doing to the girl. But she had to know that he wasn't a complete idiot, and all around terrible person. [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

Gulping down the lump that formed in her throat, her eyes were glued to their hands, his fingers wound around her own securely. It felt...nice. They had always held hands when younger, and when they grew out of the cootie stage, they had snuck a few of those times in as well. Natalia couldn't be upset with him, because he hadn't hurt her intentionally. It was all just a horrible misconception and the girl wasn't about to put her own problems on his shoulders. Who was she to tell him how to live his life, just because it often than not hurt her feelings? It wasn't his fault, at all. He was...he wasn't hers to keep all to herself.

"I'm...I'm glad you won't leave," she admitted, smiling. Her entire arm was tingling now, and she couldn't meet his eyes, because if she did...she might as well fumble over everything coming out of her mouth. "I already knew you were going to miss me, Kendall. I know you care about me...yeah, we haven't spent much time with each other but that's okay. It happens...I mean, we're in college and we're trying to become adults. You're having fun, I can tell and that's all that matters. It's your life, and I know I'm not going to be apart of everything," she reasoned, her thumb lightly stroking the top of his.

"You're a great friend to me, really," Natalia insisted, finally lifting her gaze up to him. "I just have to learn how to grow up myself, and not be so dependent on you..." She wanted to cut these ties, because they were only dragging her down and would continue to do so. It was hurting them both, and she wasn't about to fuck this all up, just because her heart wanted to explore uncharted lands. Before she could stop herself, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead, smiling. "Stop worrying so much, we'll be fine."

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]Maybe this whole thing wasn't so cut and dry. He could feel her body tremble a little as he held her hand, but she still spoke strongly. It was a good thing, glad to see she had control of herself in the matter. He blushed as she spoke again, had she really been that dependent on him? Something almost escaped his lips. But he held it back, for whatever reason. He didn't find it fair to tell her that in truth, he wanted nothing more than for her to be a part of everything with him. Everything he had been doing in college, would have been just that much better if Natalia was there with him.

The parties, the drinking, the awards...everything. And he wouldn't have to bring home these girls he had been so desperately trying to place in her shoes. Someone that was like her, but...not? He didn't know how to explain it. He was so scared of losing her. So afraid that if he fucked things up he wouldn't have Natlia in his life. And that's why he'd been so blind to it all of these years. None of those girls matched up to her though, none of them could be the girl that sat next to him on the couch now. And he was tired of holding that back, just because he was afraid of losing the girl that had every right to his heart.

As she finished her sentence to him, he felt her lips press to his forehead. It caused his cheeks to heat up almost immediately, he knew she needed to go. But he was being selfish, he didn't want her to. "It's hard for me not to worry dear...you'll be in Europe, I can't tell if you're okay. I can't come home to tuck you in on the couch. Or...know that youre sleeping soundly in your room cause I can hear late night reruns of bad sci fi movies coming from behind your door..." He sighed, taking her hand and lifting it to kiss her knuckles lightly. "I've been lying to you for so many years now, for stupid selfish reasons. And it's just all going to hell now." He sighed, shrugging a bit. "You mean the world to me Natalia...and I can't lie to myself, or you anymore." He trailed off as he squeezed her hand a bit, deciding it may be better to say with actions.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers. For the first time in their lives, he kissed her. Time slowed down, holding himself there. He was nervous, not sure how she was going to react. Half of him expecting her to smack him and run to her room. [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

She was...confused. Who could really blame her, though? It was rare for someone to have such an inspiring epiphany at the last minute. Natalia wasn't expecting him to feel the same at all, and never dared to settle on that thought. Because if she did, she'd only set herself up for disappointment. Kendall was sweet, and he cared about her...she knew that, he was genuine and though he wasn't always there, she knew he would never try to hurt her. In any way. Sure, they weren't as close as they were before by a long shot, but to be sitting here now, able to talk about it? It showed that they were both pretty strong, and not oblivious to the problem.

They wanted to fix it...but Natalia...

All she could do was listen, and watch. Her face was heating up with the realization that he was going to practically go crazy without her. The way he knew her so well, inside and out...it was overwhelming and she had half a mind to try and stop this. It was escalating into something that she had dreamed about, something that...she always wanted. Nonetheless, she was leaving tomorrow morning...she'd be gone for practically a month, and then what? They'd have their night of pure ecstasy, only to repeat this process?

Biting her lip, she could only grip his hand while her nerves were on fire, a soft exhale resounding. Was that the doorbell? Oh, the pizza was here. Natalia ignored it however, due to the fact that her mouth was now covered with Kendall's. He was kissing her and her world was spinning off of its axel. What the fuck? Why was he kissing her? She nearly flipped, yet she remained grounded, her chest rising and falling with the increase of air needed. Before the rationality of her thoughts got the best of her, everything became clouded and she began kissing back, out of pure instinct. It felt marvelous, and to see her now...gods, what a site.

She was leaning over the middle cushion of the couch, hands bracing herself up while her legs remained curled to her side, that sweet face of hers lost in an expression of happiness. Eyes closed and lips gently opening to invite him to deepen it, Natalia was tempted to pinch herself awake. She had to be dreaming right now...

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]The sound of the doorbell did not cause him to falter, it was a distant sound, hardly audible over the beating of his heart in anticipation. The fear that she would slap him, that she would run to her room without a word, stilling his mind as the world spun around him. What if his 'realization' had been a complete sham made up in collaboration between his heart and mind to convince himself that he needed to claim her as his own before she left him for her trip? He'd be devastated. But it wasn't long before he realized that he wasn't feeling a smack to his cheeks, better yet, he felt her lips part. He blushed, and without thinking about the future, his tongue pushed out to tease hers.

What would happen later, they could figure out. He didn't care anymore. He had spent years convincing himself, in a completely naive way, that he couldn't love her. Because doing so would make him lose her. What a fucked up thought process his heart had caused him. For now, he wanted this, he wanted to be with her. And he knew this was his last chance before she left. He knew she wouldn't come back the same, he didn't even know if she would come back, and still have these feelings for him. But for now, they were no longer hiding from each other, and it had all been laid out for the other.

His hand moved to her waist, tracing her skin softly as he deepened the kiss. Moving their bodies closer, his free hand moving along the slope of her shoulders as he began to gently lay her back on the couch, to get more comfortable while they kissed. His heart was racing, and his mind was cloudy. But this had been years coming, and it was time he gave her the attention she deserved. Resting her head lightly down, his body hung over hers, one hand propping himself up while the other traced her skin sensually. After a few, long, and heated moments, he pulled back from the kiss slightly. His breath heavy, almost as if he was exhausted after their first kiss together. Though truly, it was just passion running through him. "I-I'm sorry..." he felt sort of silly saying such words, he had taken it further than just the kiss, he was laying over her now, his hands on her body. How could he apologize for something that clearly wasn't an accident? He didn't know. But it seemed he wasn't thinking straight. But he had to know this is what she wanted to. He couldn't force this on her and live with himself. [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

Natalia could only wonder why he was doing this. Did he mean it? Had he truly developed feelings for her, ones he had obviously suppressed until faced with the fact that the opportunity of her leaving him could and had arose? The young woman was left speechless, as her mouth was nurtured with his own, those teasing fingertips driving her up a wall. He certainly knew how to touch a female's body, and to know she wasn't the first...actually, she was far from it, but in general...it didn't make her feel good. At all. In fact, it forced her to wonder if her best friend was insinuating this physical adventure purely out of pity. Maybe he felt bad for her? Maybe he finally took notice of all those pitiful, lame attempts at trying to get his attention. Trying boundlessly to be something to him that was never in her reach.

Not before long, she was laying down and he was looming over her. Creating a prominent shadow that dared to swallow her whole, the theoretical action mirroring how suffocated she felt. She didn't want to go through with this, only to return from Europe and have him act as if nothing had ever occurred. Would he do that to her? Natalia never thought Kendall to be so heartless...but then again, he was absolutely oblivious of the usual. Maybe he would get the impression that this was all in good fun, a goodbye present, so to say.

Either way, she was enjoying this immensely, her body tingling from head to toe. She didn't want this to stop, as her hips rose in silent plead of needing friction. That familiar pulse in between her thighs began, making her flush over. Natalia knew she would already be wet, the sensitivity she had for the man above her almost mind blowing. Even when he would bring other women home, having to listen to their sexual escapades, she often pictured herself being in there with him. Whispering those horribly naughty confessions, telling her how bad he wanted her...how good she felt...how wonderful she tasted...it sent her into a spiraling loop of self loathing and arousal. She could have easily turned her television up, but she never did.

Then he had to go and say it. He apologized. For kissing her.

Natalia's heart sank a little and she finally opened her eyes, gazing up towards him before awkwardly shuffling against their couch. Immediately doubting her talents in satisfying him, she wanted to curl up into a small ball and hide. She couldn't help it, confidence was nonexistent and when compared to what he was used to? Oh, heavens no...she was nothing like them. She was an ugly duckling and they were elegant swans. "Um," she murmured, tipping her head to the side, unsure of how to voice her tangled thoughts. "You...you don't have to apologize...I...I liked it," Natalia mused, her lips beautifully swollen.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]As the kiss broke, he felt her body stop moving, and he knew he had said the wrong thing. Had she taken it the wrong way? Had it portrayed it wrong. Everything was so jumbled in his mind now, his heart beating so rapidly. It felt as if the world around him was a blue. "N-Not that...I mean.." He sighed, kissing her lips lightly one more time as his hips pressed down against her. "Natalia..I'm sorry for everything..." He shrugged a bit, he doubted this would mean much at all. It had been so many years of torture for her, he knew that now. How could one apology mean that much? But he was trying to make it that way. "I'm sorry for being blind, and cold to you..." He looked into her eyes as he spoke those words, stopping his teasings with his body for now.

"For never noticing all those times, for putting you through more than a girl in love should deal with..." He shrugged, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles lightly. "And I'm sorry for never being honest with myself. Hurting you in the process...the perfect girl has always been right under my nose. My best friend, but I was too stupid, or scared to realize that she may have the same feelings for me." He nodded, kissing her forehead softly now before moving back to her lips. "Let me make it up to you please Natalia...however you want. I am not doing this because this is our last night together for awhile. I am not doing this because I'm scared of losing you if you change. I am doing this because I want to prove to you, more than anything, you are the girl I care for most in the world. And I always have."

He paused now, he knew he sounded like a bad eighties romance movie, but he didn't care. His fingers moved to slide along her body again, though it was clear he was slightly less sure of himself now. He wanted to see her reaction first, if she had asked him to stop, he had no intentions of taking this further. That would be worse than her leaving without ever knowing, he'd hate to have her leave him with a giant grudge in her heart. Though it was hard for him to believe there wasn't one there already. Softly, he trailed kisses down her collar bone when he paused, just in the middle of her sternum, where her heart would be. "I'd do anything to go back, if I could tell myself that I shouldn't be scared to love you Natalia..."[/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

Natalia was at a loss for words...all she could feel was his warm breath flowing out onto her face, the way his lips caressed her flesh...and those hips, they pressed so perfectly against her own. Letting out a small whimper, one she wished she could have swallowed down, her lashes fell and her eyes remained closed. What could she do? She had wanted this for so long, yet she felt almost...scared, suffocated and fooled that this was happening so quickly. Could one truly have an epiphany of this stature? Nonetheless, his words rang throughout her head and she knew he was telling her the truth. She could feel it, in the way he moved against her, his fingertips almost shyly climbing the length of her side...it was endearing, yet it didn't erase the last few years of pain she'd endure.

What would happen when she came back? Would she even feel the same? Natalia had grown accustomed to accepting that her feelings would never be returned and thus, she was almost...numb. At least she didn't feel anymore pain, but now she worried for the fact that perhaps with the pain, she would no longer experience desire for Kendall. Trying to throw away that threat, she reached up and brushed her palm across the side of his face, fingers tangling up into his hair, where she held the back of his head. He was inviting, comforting...and he fit against her curves flawlessly, or at least she thought he did.

"You talk too much," she quipped playfully, a grin spreading across her swollen lips. There, she opened her eyes and gazed up towards her best friend. "I think you should let the kissing do the talking...because I know how you feel, and you know how I feel...now please, just continue touching me," Natalia murmured. Was it the fact she hadn't been given any physical attention in over two years that spurred her on to be so bold? She didn't know, maybe she just wanted to leave her problems elsewhere and get lost in a fantasy she had often replayed over and over in her head. It was finally happening, and though under strained circumstances, she knew that she would never...ever forget this night. He was already driving her up a wall, and if he touched beneath the barrier of her clothes...gods, she would be a melted puddle of putty in his hands.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]Finally her eyes met his own, and he smiled. Glad to see that she was smiling back down to his, one hand moved lightly along her waist line, rolling her hips against him slightly as he kissed just lower, along the upper curver of her breasts. The other hand pushing her shirt up now, he would stop talking. He could follow that order quite well, and it was long over due that he show the girl laying beneath him just how much she meant to him.

Moving her hips so that his were pressed firmly between her thighs, he kissed back up her collar bone. The shirt reaching her breast line, where his fingers lingered, moving along her rib cage, and poking under her shirt to trace her skin sensually. He kissed her lips lovingly once more, moving their hips against each other to stir her arousal, his fingers pushing higher to slip up the curved, soft mound of her breast. Smiling down at her as he did. Curious as to how she would even react to such touches from him.

He was fully aware of what it was doing to his body, and by now his best friend was becoming quite aware herself, with him pressed so firmly against her. It was hard for him not to rip her clothes off. He kissed her passionately, holding their bodies close as both of their breaths quickened. His free hand moving to slowly, and teasingly slide down the girl's zipper on her jeans. By no means being shy with pressing forward as he did. [/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

"Kendall," she whispered softly, lashes fluttering to tickle the tops of her flushed cheeks. Everywhere he touched, not mattering how he did so...it felt magnificent. He was setting her nerves alight with a newfound desire, and her heart was threatening to beat itself right out of her chest. Natalia's fingers had long since wound themselves up into his hair, keeping him pulled close to her, unable to help but be a little bit greedy and revoke any space that dared come between them. Who could blame her? The man she was hopelessly in love with, had been for years now, finally noticed her and was doting upon her as if they were lovers. It was truly a dream come true for the young woman. It was as if she could breathe again...as if she was reborn...experiencing everything for the first time. He awoke quite a few emotions within her...

A sharp inhale was heard, while her head tipped back against the couch cushion completely. She was throbbing relentlessly in her jeans, her sex undoubtedly wet by now, while her clit ached for stimulation. It was driving her wild, and she could only hope that he would home in on her core soon enough, and make her practically bend over backwards beneath his hand. Natalia eagerly pushed and ground her hips up into his own the entire time, enticing him to give a little bit more...to let her feel that unmistakably large girth against her inner thigh. She had the strongest urge to taste him...and the thought alone made her blush with embarrassment. Usually, most would never pinpoint her to be the sexually avid type, and though she had only one partner thus far, she was beyond a fiend in bed. It was exciting, and when her feathers were ruffled up just right, lord, could another side of her come out. Surely, it was going to be humorous to watch Kendall's reaction to such bold behavior on her part. Hopefully he wouldn't mind it, either.

When he began the treacherously slow action of finally pulling down her zipper, she let out a relieved sigh, feeling a small rush of cold air grace her navel. Her shirt was pushed up and over her breasts by now, revealing the voluptuous amount of cleavage she had to offer. She was flushed, tinged a light pink and feeling herself growing anxious. "Touch me," she begged, just before he captured her mouth in a passionate connection. Their tongues tangled and she moaned openly within the lock of lips, pushing against him roughly to show just how bad she wanted this, just how much she needed him to not stop.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]The shirt was finally off of her, and her increase in breathing only drove him on. Both of their primal desires taking over. His heart beating just as fast as hers. The feeling of her hips doing their damndest to press her sex to him only made him grin. It was quite a sexy feeling, having her want him this badly. And it was rather obvious his own body felt the same way when it did it's best to return the actions. His fingers happily curled around the flesh of her breasts now, slipping under the bra to squeeze as his thumb teased her pink nipple.

Hearing her words made him groan a bit in want. No longer taking his time to tease. He pushed the zipper all the way down, and slipped a finger into the now opened hole, quite surprised to feel a very strong heat coming from underneath. His fingers pressed firmly against the wet cloth as he began to tease her for a few moments before quickly undoing the button and working to slide her out of the jeans. The sexual charge between them was immense, more than he had ever felt, even with some of his most passionate partners. He had to wonder, when they got started, just how long they would go until they stopped.

Kissing her lovingly, he finally got her out of the jeans, pausing now to sit up and start to undress himself. She lay beneath him as he sat up, fumbling to undo his jeans as he shook with anticipation. his arousal pressing against the think fabric, throbbing beneath for the girl that lay beneath him whom he loved. He was getting frustrated, hard for him to concentrate on getting the button undone as he looked over her body again and again. Forgetting it, he bent back down and kissed at her neck lightly with a teasing smile. "Mmh, wanna help get these damn things off of me baby?"[/size]

 

[Silver Lining]

No wonder the women he slept with always came back...not only was he handsome man, with a wonderful personality, but he surely knew how to drive a woman crazy too. Natalia was happy to finally be given a chance, yet as she continued to open her eyes just slightly, and watch him, she couldn't help but remember those moments of being alone in her bedroom, subjected to witnessing him sleep with another. He was going to be her second, and if she had been given the choice...she would have waited for him but alas, the only choice offered was one that forced her to believe he didn't share the same feelings. Now that such was proved incorrect, even though the timing was considerably soured on his part, the young woman was having a difficult time processing it completely. She doubted herself, and doubted him...this entire situation. Oh, it felt amazing, but she couldn't bring herself to completely forgive him. Yes, he hadn't known and it wasn't his fault, yet she had hurt for so long and perhaps she couldn't heal her wounds that quickly.

Ultimately, her thoughts were dashed to the rocks below the second he graced her sensitive sex with a teasing stroke. She immediately reacted, gasping softly and pushing into him as long as she could. It sent a tingling, electric shock up her spine, which quickly shot right back down and pooled hotly within her gut. Gods, she was going to come so many times, she could just feel it practically boiling now...

His display of frustration was adorable, and she laughed. "Of course I'll help," she reassured, her hands sliding away from his sides and up against his chest, where she forced him to sit up. She wiggled her way out from beneath him and her knees hit the floor, positioned in front of him. Natalia was smiling, in between his legs and dangerously close to his straining member. Her hands remained on the couch on either side, as she didn't plan on using them to aid her in her quest to free him of these restricting articles. Leaning in, her lips brushed teasingly against his navel, daring to lick across the small patch of hair that trailed beneath his belly button, down towards the tops of his jeans. More than anything, Natalia wanted to show him what he had been missing for so long. To make him realize that she was better than anyone he could ever be with, both emotionally and physically. So, she bit at the top of his pants, and pulled until the button popped free. Not once, did she look away from Kendall while she soon had his zipper between her teeth, too.

Down...down, down it went, until her mouth was boldly brushing against the confined member found beneath. Panting hotly against it, she ran her tongue across the underside, soaking through his boxers with the determination of a frisked, eager lover. She'd make him feel things he never thought existed...and she'd make him never, ever forget her. Oh, Natalia was going to enjoy this.

 

[P a n d i s i m o]

[size=-2]The fact that she was so eager to help him made him grin. He watched as she pushed him up and slipped from beneath him, her half naked body wiggling in all the right places as she moved herself so that she could rest on the floor. Her eye level at his waist as he sat her up. He blushed at such a position, though he wasn't complaining. He could see down her back, her round little rump wiggling behind her as she prepared herself to get these pesky jeans off of him. He was glad to see that she was craving this as much as he was. And though he knew this wouldn't make the past magically better, he was going to show her that he truly wanted to be with her. And only her.

Watching her closely, he noted her hands resting at his sides, before he could make a remark on the subject though, he watched the young girl dip her head down to kiss at his stomach lightly. He blushed, no girl had done this before, and the fact that Natalia was doing it for him made it all too sexy. He felt her teeth tug at the jeans until the button popped open, and then expertly slide the zipper down, her hands still pressed into the couch so that she wouldn't use them. But the real surprise for him was when he felt his best friend eagerly give a long, slow lick at the under side of his length through the fabric. Causing a low groan to escape him as she soaked his boxers.

"Oh wow..." He gasped totally not expecting that. His fingers moving to slip into her hair as she continued her teasing. He had really not expected Natalia to be such a naughty girl. Though he wasn't complaining. Now that he was realizing it though, he began to imagine what sorts of things they could've been doing while living together over the years if they had admitted this to each other long before. [/size]