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Disco_Lollipop
Star
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Location
- Emerald City ~ Evergreen State
Sitting here, supposedly in the prime of my life, with nothing to do and no real desire to find anything. I'd like to think that I'm motivationally challenged, but that's clearly just a nicer way of saying lazy. I spend an inordinate amount of time either sleeping or on the internet. It's not that I lack interpersonal communication skills, I've got them in spades, I just find myself increasingly irritated by the flaws that other people exhibit. There's a saying about that I think, something like, "what you dislike in yourself, you hate in others.", but if that's the case then I must really suck and I feel like someone would have mentioned that by now.
Maybe that's my problem. The lack of criticism from my peers has given me an unrealistic self image. I happen to think that I'm pretty awesome and, generally, people agree with me. Sure there have been a couple of people who differed in opinion but they were shrugged off easily enough. That's the point of self-esteem right, to feel good about yourself regardless of what other people say or think about you. The only trouble is that there are other people in the world and most of them are just as cool, funny, smart, whatever, as you are, If not more so. When does confidence become cockiness and how do you reverse the progression?
Unfortunately, my boundless confidence is evident only to members of my own sex. A cute boy comes my way and I seem to lose every trace of charm. Instead, I revert to childish teasing and mind games. How stupid is that? The astounding thing is that I have never had issues with attracting a potential mate. The problem is that my own immaturity tends to attract the same so I end up with a guy who's four years my senior but acts like he's eight years my junior. Either I'm going to have to adjust my age range or something is going to have to change on the mental home front. Who knows, I might actually come out a better person.
Maybe that's my problem. The lack of criticism from my peers has given me an unrealistic self image. I happen to think that I'm pretty awesome and, generally, people agree with me. Sure there have been a couple of people who differed in opinion but they were shrugged off easily enough. That's the point of self-esteem right, to feel good about yourself regardless of what other people say or think about you. The only trouble is that there are other people in the world and most of them are just as cool, funny, smart, whatever, as you are, If not more so. When does confidence become cockiness and how do you reverse the progression?
Unfortunately, my boundless confidence is evident only to members of my own sex. A cute boy comes my way and I seem to lose every trace of charm. Instead, I revert to childish teasing and mind games. How stupid is that? The astounding thing is that I have never had issues with attracting a potential mate. The problem is that my own immaturity tends to attract the same so I end up with a guy who's four years my senior but acts like he's eight years my junior. Either I'm going to have to adjust my age range or something is going to have to change on the mental home front. Who knows, I might actually come out a better person.
Thank you kindly!