Ramblings of a Chaotic Mind

[AllarianSilverblade]

This is me trying to organize my thoughts while giving anyone who wants to glimpse into the chaos that can be my mind and what I'm like when I'm not RPing a chance to do so. It didn't feel right trying to do this in the Introduction thread, but this seems to be the place for rants and raves and rambles. Posts made here may or may not be coherent.

Why do I need a thread like this for myself? Well... mostly just to try to prove to myself and others that I'm not completely crazy or outright lying when I tell them certain things. Example: I really do enjoy just about everything! Not just when it comes to RP or writing, but in movies, music, gaming and everything else. I RP to experience new things that I may never get to do or may very well be impossible in reality, so I very rarely say no to any idea. Sure there's some things that may be outside my comfort zone, that I haven't done a lot of or even at all, but that's exactly why I'm here. If I stay within my comfort zone, I feel like I stop growing as a writer/RPer. I've been writing and RPing since I was... well shit I'm gonna need to grow another limb or two to be able to count that high... and I'm still learning.

I don't have just one or two characters/types that I like to play, nor do I have a hard and fast kink list. I enjoy making a fresh character for each RP I do. I love world building. Sitting down and fleshing out our characters and world is part of the fun! I do get carried away with it though, but I'm getting better! Honest! That's not to say I don't enjoy fandoms as well! I just don't enjoy playing canon characters as I feel I could never do justice to someone else's creation. Putting an OC into an existing fandom to play with your OC or a canon character? I guess as far as my characters go my favorite type to play is the underdog. I don't want to play a god. I don't want to play superman, or the billionaire CEO who has everything he's ever wanted. The exception is if I'm a GM. If I'm controlling the world and presenting challenges for your flawed character to over come, then yes, I love these kinds of characters! But to me these characters exist as obstacles, end bosses, or distant foes who may not be seen. Unless you're into the whole instant defeat/being taken as a trophy thing. In which case call me! I do still enjoy a good power fantasy every once in a while.

Even with everything I written above, it's still so situational that it doesn't feel right leaving it in here! I'll probably expand on it later. Make a reply specifically on what I look for and the difference between short term and long term play for me. Which leads me to...

I'm not sure that I'll ever make a request thread. That's just not how I work. I browse the posts of others and go 'Wow that's hot. I want in!' I'm only allowed two per sections, but can bump them forever. There's never just one or two things I'm looking for and... actually you know what that may work out fine. I just need to gather my desires, categorize them, learn the code for this site and create four beautiful posts to describe what I may or may not be feeling at the time! You know now that I've written that out, I think I'll stick to browsing. Or find a way to simplify things while still making myself happy with the outcome.

I think that's all for now. I forgot to eat again today so I should fix that. Questions? Comments? Please leave them here! Random chatter is always enjoyed.

 

[AllarianSilverblade]

Forgive my language but holy fucking shit is this community incredibly friendly! I... I was not expecting this at all tbh. Yes, most of us are here because we're horny as fuck. But just in my limited experience here it feels like there's so much more. I know I've only been here a few days and may not have interacted directly with many of you, but if you look closely in that dark corner I'm there, just watching, waiting, trying to work up the courage to actually interact with people. To be honest the community makes it hard not to want to interact with you!

Maybe it's because I'm old. I'm not use to people being so open. I'm not accustomed to putting everything out there for all to see and not getting push back for it. Yes, I know I'm writing this in a very public journal, the irony is not lost on me. I guess that speaks to how unique this place feels.

I also just want to scream this from the rooftops that THERE IS A FUCKING NON-SEXUAL RP REQUEST FORUM!!! Actually I guess it's the not fucking forum huh... Anyways I was thrilled when I saw that. But even if it wasn't there, it just feels a lot easier to find things that are more than just sex. Maybe that's what surprises me the most. More so than most places I've been/heard of this is a role play site that features copious amounts of smut, not a place to go just for a quick wank and maybe find someone who wants a little bit of plot to go with it. Please note that these are simply my feelings. If you're here just to get off all the more power too you! I'm here to get off too, there's just so much more here than I imagined.

I feel like I could make a post looking for something silly, yet sexy. I've always wanted to play a comedically inept villain who bumbles his way into a hero(ines) pants for example. I feel like I could put something up for OC's that I have played in years and find someone who'd be interested in them eventually. I use to RP on World of Warcraft, and there's characters from there that I dearly miss. Adapting them to other universes shouldn't be a big deal. They have personalities, characteristics, goals, dreams and flaws that normal people have. But I've been terrified to let them loose in other places. Maybe this is a home for them. It feels like this is a place I could create a whole new host of OC's for various fandoms, genres, kinks and situations. I guess I felt maybe I'd be pigeonholed into RPing a specific way if I wanted to get responses.

But I like here so far. You may be stuck with me for while. I feel so sorry for you. Let the madness begin.

Questions? Comments? Please leave them here or PM me. Random chatter is always welcome!

 

[AllarianSilverblade]

I ain't as good as I once was. I've got a few years on me now. But there was a time, back in my prime, I could really lay it down.

What do you do with the song stuck in your head? Do you sing along to the melody in your head? Hum the tune as you plug away at work? Do you find the song somewhere and put it on repeat for the next 27 hours?

There is a house in New Orleans. They call the Rising Sun. And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy. And God, I know I'm one.

It's easy to get creative when a classic hits your brain. Some songs just tell a story on their own. Do you borrow the theme and write about a character you've been working on? Fleshing out their back story with parts of the song, until finally your mind is satisfied with your work and lets you sleep?

I wish I could've quit you! I wish I never met you! And told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you!

Maybe it inspires a whole RP? Bringing some long forgotten fantasy to the forefront of your mind you tack it onto your RT to hope and pray someone finds it as interesting as you do. Of course someone will, given time. But has the muse ever left before that's happened? Does hearing the song again bring it back?

Let me introduce you to my madness. Knock your psyche straight up of its axis. Breaking into all of my bad habits. I'm a good girl but the darkness' like a magnet.

Maybe one RP isn't enough. Maybe you've been truly inspired! Multiple characters! Plots within plots! A whole world full of people and places, heroes and villains sprawls out from a single line sung perfectly! Everything is so vividly in front of you that you can't help yourself, you need to get to the keyboard, to a pen a paper, to anything to get the dreams so vivid out of you and into reality before the music fades away...

Baby shark! Do do do do do do! Baby Shark! Do do do do do do

Or maybe, sometimes, you just want to watch the world burn.
Questions? Comments? Please leave them here or PM me. Random chatter is always welcome!