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- Joined
- Sep 7, 2019
- Location
- Jurassic Park
INTRODUCTION: ONCE UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY
Friends, Blue Mooners, all you crazy horny weirdos (that I'm one of, let's be honest- but I'm not a Christian I'm a Cafeteria Catholic and well...I'll get to her in a moment), countrytholk of the United States of America where we still have time, and citizens of a planet that is wounded but not yet dead, hear my roar! The roar of the infamous Goliath tanks that laid waste to entire armies and that it took a powerful witch to bring down. The roar of dragons as they dueled with airplanes. The cacophony of our writing together which shaped so much of my life, for which I am forever grateful.
It was really the roar of my mighty avatar of Darkness I was forced to push down because roaring, flapping, and finger fiddling were all “silly stuff” to neurotypicals who didn’t know. It was, still is an id of boundless creative potential, including hints I was at least open to traditionally feminine cues, bound and gagged into the shape of a cis boy by years of abuse (verbal only but as you can imagine if you're autistic...and they're in the school, or driving you to a fancy restaurant and they're mad at you...in the 90s they were learning how to gradually NOT treat us like lab experiments or like I'm a kid). Always childishly I hid attraction to men for years because a social worker who I was powerless to stop teased me about whether I found guys handsome), let's just say.
But due to masking requirements I imagined it as a monster. I remember it very distinctly; a beautiful painting of a woman hugging a man. I believe it was Pygmalion and Galatea AS the statue was brought to life. I recoiled in fear, rather like the increasingly uglying visage of Dorian Gray, and then it became ugly in my mind. I haven't felt pain I needed to suppress more badly in my nightmares for three years-
UNTIL this goddamn election. I digress. I tend to do that, especially when my life and livelihood is at stake. My bad.
I escaped online into forums I've lost the login for or the desire to revisit due to very juvenile and hornybrained writing from a very sheltered autistic kid and very...formative. This of course corresponded to when I got my first laptop as a teenager (only for it to turn out that a pedophile was on the forum; fortunately he found me too annoying and too eager to insert IT'S OVER 9000! courtesy of the high school cafeteria where the neurodivergent kids were separated from everyone else by adult-forced pairing that did not always turn out well for me.) It wasn’t always the healthiest, but turning inward into my own shadows has always been a comfort, though sometimes they would turn on me as I criticized myself for any number of failings that day.
But now, the Darkness only turns its opprobrium at the real destroyers of the planet- the rich and famous. If we stop buying their gaudy expensive shit; only going out to movie theaters on season passes; not buying a PS5 Pro…then they’ll go away. Anyway.
Those...who know me...those...who have truly written some of my favorite stories ever even if I only finished one and it bugs me but it's not anyone's fault life gets busy etc. etc., I'm gonna miss most of you. Heh, kidding I'm horny for most of you half the time. Autirizz, baybeee! Or am I? Yeah no I was pretty obvious about it but that's what this place is for and I would like the government to NOT regulate my Internet traffic thank you very much. This forum is the last bastion of truly I think fair and moderated expression, for all the problems that people may or may not have (my experience has been mostly positive with them but I bear no ill will toward anyone) but even it can be taken down. Especially by SWAT people with guns so please get mobile Starlink admins.
During the three-year Dying Time of my marriage from 2019-2022 my wife basically quiet quit ever having sex with me again and I LITERALLY got white beard hairs from the stress of the late Trump administration and all the attendant risks thereof. As you can imagine (unless you're four in which case, Mom, close your laptop! Lol) it was incredibly damaging to be cut off from affection from a woman who just couldn't be bothered because she had her own shit to deal with.
I tried to be as good a writing partner as I could to each and every one of you hoping that would warm me; there are a couple of stories I was so close to figuring out how to finish for us all, or was really rooting for before people withdrew. Or that I wish I could've left on better terms with but I think we tried our best, we had some laughs, and we're moving on up in a world that feels like it's collapsing underneath our feet 2012 style because the philosophy of the TWO PEOPLE WHO RUN the Government Efficiency Department (just let that sink in for a moment) might just be to burn it all down and use the threat of military force to try to scare people. And uh...how to put this? Please help me archive our RPs for private reading by PDF while I crawl a turning gyre trying to help the center hold. I will be operating a secure private Internet service over ProtonMail whereby for free I can just be a secure middle person for anyone who would like their. Encrypt them absolutely.
I also volunteer my services as an email RPer if I survive this.
I have low confidence as the CIA would say that Trump will actually be able to implement most of his agenda because he selected for loyalty and not intelligence. We did not get Darth Miller, about to send brownshirts in all but name to bust some heads in the suburbs where you know my fucking family lives so of course I'm concerned, and they're my support system through this for the time being in case I lose my job for arbitrary, disciriminatory reasons so I'm gonna try to be more of a spy and suggest that the administrators put all my past thread RPs behind a login only screen.
This is not a political matter; it's a matter of personal safety as a transgender nonbinary person to give as many layers of security as possible. I have full confidence in Vekseid. Whatever people have said about leadership over the years (including me), they've actually been maintaining a pretty safe corner of this ridiculous Internet.
Talk to you about more about how I'm gonna make sure I'll be okay.
Friends, Blue Mooners, all you crazy horny weirdos (that I'm one of, let's be honest- but I'm not a Christian I'm a Cafeteria Catholic and well...I'll get to her in a moment), countrytholk of the United States of America where we still have time, and citizens of a planet that is wounded but not yet dead, hear my roar! The roar of the infamous Goliath tanks that laid waste to entire armies and that it took a powerful witch to bring down. The roar of dragons as they dueled with airplanes. The cacophony of our writing together which shaped so much of my life, for which I am forever grateful.
It was really the roar of my mighty avatar of Darkness I was forced to push down because roaring, flapping, and finger fiddling were all “silly stuff” to neurotypicals who didn’t know. It was, still is an id of boundless creative potential, including hints I was at least open to traditionally feminine cues, bound and gagged into the shape of a cis boy by years of abuse (verbal only but as you can imagine if you're autistic...and they're in the school, or driving you to a fancy restaurant and they're mad at you...in the 90s they were learning how to gradually NOT treat us like lab experiments or like I'm a kid). Always childishly I hid attraction to men for years because a social worker who I was powerless to stop teased me about whether I found guys handsome), let's just say.
But due to masking requirements I imagined it as a monster. I remember it very distinctly; a beautiful painting of a woman hugging a man. I believe it was Pygmalion and Galatea AS the statue was brought to life. I recoiled in fear, rather like the increasingly uglying visage of Dorian Gray, and then it became ugly in my mind. I haven't felt pain I needed to suppress more badly in my nightmares for three years-
UNTIL this goddamn election. I digress. I tend to do that, especially when my life and livelihood is at stake. My bad.
I escaped online into forums I've lost the login for or the desire to revisit due to very juvenile and hornybrained writing from a very sheltered autistic kid and very...formative. This of course corresponded to when I got my first laptop as a teenager (only for it to turn out that a pedophile was on the forum; fortunately he found me too annoying and too eager to insert IT'S OVER 9000! courtesy of the high school cafeteria where the neurodivergent kids were separated from everyone else by adult-forced pairing that did not always turn out well for me.) It wasn’t always the healthiest, but turning inward into my own shadows has always been a comfort, though sometimes they would turn on me as I criticized myself for any number of failings that day.
But now, the Darkness only turns its opprobrium at the real destroyers of the planet- the rich and famous. If we stop buying their gaudy expensive shit; only going out to movie theaters on season passes; not buying a PS5 Pro…then they’ll go away. Anyway.
Those...who know me...those...who have truly written some of my favorite stories ever even if I only finished one and it bugs me but it's not anyone's fault life gets busy etc. etc., I'm gonna miss most of you. Heh, kidding I'm horny for most of you half the time. Autirizz, baybeee! Or am I? Yeah no I was pretty obvious about it but that's what this place is for and I would like the government to NOT regulate my Internet traffic thank you very much. This forum is the last bastion of truly I think fair and moderated expression, for all the problems that people may or may not have (my experience has been mostly positive with them but I bear no ill will toward anyone) but even it can be taken down. Especially by SWAT people with guns so please get mobile Starlink admins.
During the three-year Dying Time of my marriage from 2019-2022 my wife basically quiet quit ever having sex with me again and I LITERALLY got white beard hairs from the stress of the late Trump administration and all the attendant risks thereof. As you can imagine (unless you're four in which case, Mom, close your laptop! Lol) it was incredibly damaging to be cut off from affection from a woman who just couldn't be bothered because she had her own shit to deal with.
I tried to be as good a writing partner as I could to each and every one of you hoping that would warm me; there are a couple of stories I was so close to figuring out how to finish for us all, or was really rooting for before people withdrew. Or that I wish I could've left on better terms with but I think we tried our best, we had some laughs, and we're moving on up in a world that feels like it's collapsing underneath our feet 2012 style because the philosophy of the TWO PEOPLE WHO RUN the Government Efficiency Department (just let that sink in for a moment) might just be to burn it all down and use the threat of military force to try to scare people. And uh...how to put this? Please help me archive our RPs for private reading by PDF while I crawl a turning gyre trying to help the center hold. I will be operating a secure private Internet service over ProtonMail whereby for free I can just be a secure middle person for anyone who would like their. Encrypt them absolutely.
I also volunteer my services as an email RPer if I survive this.
I have low confidence as the CIA would say that Trump will actually be able to implement most of his agenda because he selected for loyalty and not intelligence. We did not get Darth Miller, about to send brownshirts in all but name to bust some heads in the suburbs where you know my fucking family lives so of course I'm concerned, and they're my support system through this for the time being in case I lose my job for arbitrary, disciriminatory reasons so I'm gonna try to be more of a spy and suggest that the administrators put all my past thread RPs behind a login only screen.
This is not a political matter; it's a matter of personal safety as a transgender nonbinary person to give as many layers of security as possible. I have full confidence in Vekseid. Whatever people have said about leadership over the years (including me), they've actually been maintaining a pretty safe corner of this ridiculous Internet.
Talk to you about more about how I'm gonna make sure I'll be okay.
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