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Hawkmoon
Planetoid
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2014
Hello everyone. I'm looking to do a long term, detailed slice of life story. In particular, I was looking for a darker theme if you will. It is a revenge plot with a twist—one that ends up backfiring spectacularly. I want to do a story that doesn't have the happy ending as expected.
I have two revenge perspectives. One from a guy's perspective. One from a woman's perspective. They are very similar overall but the main details differ a bit. Also they are written to paint a scenario and theme. Details are always up for discussion!!!
Female point of view:
Her upbringing in a typical sheltered conservative, Christian middle class family molded her into a sweet shy girl who excelled in her school work and extracurricular activities and she rarely if ever got into trouble. Her strong moral values left her yearning for a husband and family, but she also valued her independence by attending college and pursuing a career.
She was not a prude by any means, she was okay partaking in mild drinking with friends in social situations and parties. But things changed dramatically for her shortly after college, when she met and fell for a hot stud manipulative bad boy bartender.
He was the type of guy she never in a million years thought she'd even consider dating. He was such a partier, heavily drinking and sometimes taking recreational drugs. Plus he was so cocky and selfish. And he had such an angry short fuse and he could be borderline abusive verbally and physically and extremely possessive and protective of her. Several bar fights were initiated over her and he sent a few guys to the hospital for the crime of looking at her the wrong way or mildly flirting with her. And his job as a bartender? Not the dream man she envisioned growing up. He was always broke, mooching money off of her, and his tiny messy apartment was a joke. His only motivation in life was to party and fuck, with no plans to pursue higher education or a better career.
To top it all off, he didn't even believe in God! It drove her mad that this guy could somehow ooze with such confidence without having the spirituality and guidance of God. Shouldn't he be going through life lost and rudderless? He went against everything she believed in! She prayed to God every Sunday in church for guidance, and knew he was wrong for her.
Despite all of this, why did she spend over two years of her life with him? The relationship was toxic. He was beyond toxic and dangerous. But even when they'd fight and break up, she'd always find herself back in his bed eventually. And somehow he was a corrupting influence on her beyond the sex. While dating him she partied more. Drank more. Tried some drugs. After two years she could hold her own drinking with the best of them. And thinking back, she hated the woman she became and how loyal she was to him. The shit she did for him and covered up for him…and the shit she she helped him get away with…like skimming cash and drinks from the bar…it was borderline criminal.
But the answer to the "why" was simple. She was helplessly addicted to the sexual pleasure he brought her…that muscular toned body she couldn't keep her hands off of, and his rough brand of sex she never knew she craved. She knew he was toxic. She knew he was dangerous. A part of her hated him and she tried to quit him many times, but she was literally addicted to him and he was her powerfully potent drug.
Her addiction got so bad at one point that even after he cheated on her a few times, she still broke down and gave into his seductive touch each time even after verbally rejecting his apologies. Her body always seemed to blindly forgive him. Just one more hit of those orgasms. Better than I could ever give myself! I'll end it tomorrow.
Eventually though, when she caught him sleeping with her close friend, enough was enough and she ended it. Like most addicts, she cut him and the temptation out of her life completely. Changed her address and phone.
Not too long after the breakup, as if God had sent her a miracle to help in her addiction rehab, she met an older professional well off gentleman, around 34 years old. He was completely opposite of her ex. Shy, sweet, caring, gentle, loving, wealthy (not that it mattered but it was definitely a bonus over her ex), college educated lawyer with sophisticated tastes…and a Christian!! He was beyond the man she'd always dreamed of having as her husband.
Fast forward over a year and a half, and she is now engaged to be married to this man, and she has since moved into his mansion of a house. He has even given her $100k's of money to help her start her own business. Her life was beyond perfect. No more of her ex and that crazy life of partying and drinking and drugs and being a partner in his criminal habits. She wasn't that girl anymore. That side of her died with the relationship.
But then one night out at a get together with her fiancee and friends at a bar, she heard a familiar voice talking in the distance. She knew that voice from anywhere, and just the sound of it made her pulse quicken and breathing rapid. It was him. It had to be him. She turned around and set eyes on her toxic ex for the first time in almost two years.
He hadn't seen her turn to look at him, and he may not have even recognized her if he saw her first, since her look was dramatically different than when they dated, with a much more upscale, classy, elegant, expensive, and refined look about her. He looked the same of course, the rippling muscular arms, chiseled jaw line, tussled hair, rugged look, familiar bulge…
Her heart and mind flooded with every possible emotion as she stared at him. The pull to him was instant and instinctual as the lure of addiction is never cured, just managed. But those urges were quickly overwhelmed with a rising mix of anger and resentment. The memories of all the pain and frustration and tears he caused her. The living hell he put her through. The person he turned her into. She resented him for it. She hated him for it. And she wondered how the hell she let him ruin 2 years of her life. Was the sex and mind blowing orgasms she had against his solid muscular body that important?
He wasn't worth her time. He never was in truth. Walk away. But she couldn't stop starting at him. Her anger simmering. Has he ever suffered a moment of his life? She wondered. She wanted him to suffer. And for the first time she wanted to be the one to cause the suffering between them. His words from when they broke up resonated in her mind as fresh as the day he spoke them. You'll never be able to get over me and move on. You can't live without me.
You mother fucker. She thought. Her blood was near boiling now. I have moved on. My life is so much better now. So much better without you! God she wanted him to see how much better her life is now without him. How perfect and classy it is. With her perfect man. Who is better than him in so many ways. So much richer than him. A man that doesn't have to steal shit.
How good would it feel to rub it in his face? Flaunt her new life in front of him. She took a sip of her drink. The thought was intoxicating. To finally have the upper hand over him. And have the last word. Finally. God she wanted some fucking revenge on this asshole more than anything at this moment.
Her phone then buzzed with a text from her fiancee asking if she was still over by the bar. "Yeah, be right back, give me a minute. Ran into an old friend" she texted before sliding her phone back into her Kate Spade purse. She stared wickedly at her ex, as the delicious prospect of revenge began to overwhelm her with excitement.
It only took about 8 steps to reach him. "Cole? Is that you?" She said in a fake manufactured surprised tone, holding her drink in a way to ensure he got a front row view of her massive engagement diamond ring. She knew just the sight of that would drive him nuts. After some small talk she smiled at him. "Why don't you join us? I'm dying to hear how life's been treating you, and I can't wait to catch you up on how my life has been." She said, using every ounce of strength to keep her sweet smile from spreading into a vengeful wicked grin. Fuck this is going to be great. He'll see how insignificant he is in my world now.
So like I said, I want to write a twisted story where the revenge backfires spectacularly. In the first few hours, the payback was priceless for her. Seeing his face of shock was perfect. But then…
She didn't anticipate her fiancee falling for her ex's charm, getting a massive man crush on him and thinking he was the coolest and most fun guy ever. WT actual F? Or that her fiancee would invite him out to future outings. Or that his friends would also fall for him charm? Fuck! this is not good! How the fuck do I get rid of him when my fiancee and everyone else loves him?? Leave my fiancee and his friends out of this you asshole!!! Or that his drinking/partying influence would start rubbing off on her fiancee, and his friends. Babe! Are you drunk? You never drink like this!
The spiral down. She pulled him back into her life to make him suffer, but he turned the tables and wouldn't leave. First her fiancee fell under his control. Then his friends. Then her friends. Then…?
Guy's point of view:
Evan suddenly had everything he wanted in life. His career as a lawyer had taken off when he won a long shot 100 plus million dollar settlement against a major corporation. His windfall from it was 10's of millions of dollars.
After that settlement, his life changed drastically. He had luxury cars, a mansion sized house, a vacation house, and lived an upscale, high class life. But one aspect of his new life that was the most surprising to him was that suddenly women noticed him—extremely hot and attractive women. The types of women Evan never got the time of day from in the past.
Growing up, Evan was never a ladies man. He was considered a "nerd" in school, the thin scrawny timid type that stuck to his school work. Because of this, he was a natural target for bullying, and Cole Sterling, the charismatic, popular, star athlete got great pleasure out of bullying him. Evan hated Cole, but deep down inside, it was more than that. He envied him. Cole got the hot girls. He had all of the friends. And he was extremely popular. As much as Evan hated him, he wished he had everything Cole had—the popularity, the friends, the parties, and especially the hot girl.
As much as Cole Sterling made Evan's life hell, he also acted as his motivation to excel in his schooling and career to change his situation and get to the point he was today—wealthy successful life with a smoking hot fiancée.
So that's why it was so jarring that evening when Evan recognized something very familiar out of the corner of his eye...an arm as it wiped down the bar. It is odd that someone could recognize and remember the particular muscle tone and vein patterns in an arm, but that muscle tone was all it took to trigger a flood of painful memories for Evan. He didn't even need to see the face to know that arm belonged to Cole Sterling.
Evan didn't think he would ever see Cole Sterling again, especially with his new lifestyle, but there he was. As Evan stood watching, his feelings slowly began transitioning from fear into anger and resentment. There he was, the man that caused him so much hurt and pain. Years of anger and hatred began boiling to the surface. Look at him…working for tips as a lowly bartender…finally living up to his pathetic existence…oh how things have changed Cole Sterling. Evan thought to himself.
Evan should have walked away that night. He had already won the game of life compared to Cole. But he just couldn't. It wasn't good enough. Evan wanted Cole to know just how little and meaningless he was in Evan's life now. He wanted Cole to know that HE got the job. HE got the money. HE got the friends. HE got the hot girl, and he wanted to rub it in Cole's face that HE won the long game, and HE has all of the power now. He could buy this bar and fire Cole Sterling right now if he wanted. Evan didn't want to walk away. He couldn't. Evan wanted payback. Evan wanted revenge.
So moving forward, I envision Evan pulling Cole back into his life. Maybe offering him a demeaning job to work bartender at upscale events for his law firm (promising the prospect of amazing tips of course, but locking him into a long term contract knowing he'd make sure the job and pay was absolute shit to make him suffer). The ultimate goal was to show off his power and wealth and friends and lifestyle and how successful he's become and rub it all in Cole's face. Making Cole have to live it over and over seeing Evan's success and having Evan and his fiancee and friends look down on Cole, making him the only one working there while everyone enjoyed themselves, working for tips off of all Evan's friends and coworkers. Evan spent half his life wanting and craving what Cole had. Now Evan wanted to turn the tables and make Cole want and crave everything HE had.
It seemed like the perfect revenge, and initially, it was. Evan's success ate at Cole's ego, and at first being a poor bartender in Evan's event was humiliating. For the first time ever, Evan had all the power over Cole. The upper hand. and it was immensely intoxicating.
But there was one little problem—Evan's revenge was short sighted. Sure, the event Cole had to work was degrading and humiliating to him just as Evan had planned. And Cole DID envy Evan and was jealous and DID crave and want everything that Evan had, so Evan got exactly what he wanted. but now what? What additional suffering and humiliation was Evan going to inflict on Cole having him locked in this long contract working similar events? Evan was so greedy in getting revenge, so blindly hellbent on maximizing Cole's suffering, that he didn't even consider that the contract actually locked Cole into his life for the foreseeable future—a pissed off, jealous, dangerous and manipulative Cole. One thing about Cole that Evan underestimated was that when Cole wants and craves something, he'll stop at nothing to get it.
So I'd love to have a writing partner play Evan's fiancee, caught in the middle of these two men. Of course she is the centerpiece of this game of reveng—the thing that Evan is most proud of and flaunts in Cole's face the most. But that also makes her Cole's biggest target. Cole knows seducing her would crush Evan. As an added possibility, maybe Evan doesn't even know how dangerous of a game he is playing, considering maybe she secretly has a thing for bad boys.
I have two revenge perspectives. One from a guy's perspective. One from a woman's perspective. They are very similar overall but the main details differ a bit. Also they are written to paint a scenario and theme. Details are always up for discussion!!!
Female point of view:
Her upbringing in a typical sheltered conservative, Christian middle class family molded her into a sweet shy girl who excelled in her school work and extracurricular activities and she rarely if ever got into trouble. Her strong moral values left her yearning for a husband and family, but she also valued her independence by attending college and pursuing a career.
She was not a prude by any means, she was okay partaking in mild drinking with friends in social situations and parties. But things changed dramatically for her shortly after college, when she met and fell for a hot stud manipulative bad boy bartender.
He was the type of guy she never in a million years thought she'd even consider dating. He was such a partier, heavily drinking and sometimes taking recreational drugs. Plus he was so cocky and selfish. And he had such an angry short fuse and he could be borderline abusive verbally and physically and extremely possessive and protective of her. Several bar fights were initiated over her and he sent a few guys to the hospital for the crime of looking at her the wrong way or mildly flirting with her. And his job as a bartender? Not the dream man she envisioned growing up. He was always broke, mooching money off of her, and his tiny messy apartment was a joke. His only motivation in life was to party and fuck, with no plans to pursue higher education or a better career.
To top it all off, he didn't even believe in God! It drove her mad that this guy could somehow ooze with such confidence without having the spirituality and guidance of God. Shouldn't he be going through life lost and rudderless? He went against everything she believed in! She prayed to God every Sunday in church for guidance, and knew he was wrong for her.
Despite all of this, why did she spend over two years of her life with him? The relationship was toxic. He was beyond toxic and dangerous. But even when they'd fight and break up, she'd always find herself back in his bed eventually. And somehow he was a corrupting influence on her beyond the sex. While dating him she partied more. Drank more. Tried some drugs. After two years she could hold her own drinking with the best of them. And thinking back, she hated the woman she became and how loyal she was to him. The shit she did for him and covered up for him…and the shit she she helped him get away with…like skimming cash and drinks from the bar…it was borderline criminal.
But the answer to the "why" was simple. She was helplessly addicted to the sexual pleasure he brought her…that muscular toned body she couldn't keep her hands off of, and his rough brand of sex she never knew she craved. She knew he was toxic. She knew he was dangerous. A part of her hated him and she tried to quit him many times, but she was literally addicted to him and he was her powerfully potent drug.
Her addiction got so bad at one point that even after he cheated on her a few times, she still broke down and gave into his seductive touch each time even after verbally rejecting his apologies. Her body always seemed to blindly forgive him. Just one more hit of those orgasms. Better than I could ever give myself! I'll end it tomorrow.
Eventually though, when she caught him sleeping with her close friend, enough was enough and she ended it. Like most addicts, she cut him and the temptation out of her life completely. Changed her address and phone.
Not too long after the breakup, as if God had sent her a miracle to help in her addiction rehab, she met an older professional well off gentleman, around 34 years old. He was completely opposite of her ex. Shy, sweet, caring, gentle, loving, wealthy (not that it mattered but it was definitely a bonus over her ex), college educated lawyer with sophisticated tastes…and a Christian!! He was beyond the man she'd always dreamed of having as her husband.
Fast forward over a year and a half, and she is now engaged to be married to this man, and she has since moved into his mansion of a house. He has even given her $100k's of money to help her start her own business. Her life was beyond perfect. No more of her ex and that crazy life of partying and drinking and drugs and being a partner in his criminal habits. She wasn't that girl anymore. That side of her died with the relationship.
But then one night out at a get together with her fiancee and friends at a bar, she heard a familiar voice talking in the distance. She knew that voice from anywhere, and just the sound of it made her pulse quicken and breathing rapid. It was him. It had to be him. She turned around and set eyes on her toxic ex for the first time in almost two years.
He hadn't seen her turn to look at him, and he may not have even recognized her if he saw her first, since her look was dramatically different than when they dated, with a much more upscale, classy, elegant, expensive, and refined look about her. He looked the same of course, the rippling muscular arms, chiseled jaw line, tussled hair, rugged look, familiar bulge…
Her heart and mind flooded with every possible emotion as she stared at him. The pull to him was instant and instinctual as the lure of addiction is never cured, just managed. But those urges were quickly overwhelmed with a rising mix of anger and resentment. The memories of all the pain and frustration and tears he caused her. The living hell he put her through. The person he turned her into. She resented him for it. She hated him for it. And she wondered how the hell she let him ruin 2 years of her life. Was the sex and mind blowing orgasms she had against his solid muscular body that important?
He wasn't worth her time. He never was in truth. Walk away. But she couldn't stop starting at him. Her anger simmering. Has he ever suffered a moment of his life? She wondered. She wanted him to suffer. And for the first time she wanted to be the one to cause the suffering between them. His words from when they broke up resonated in her mind as fresh as the day he spoke them. You'll never be able to get over me and move on. You can't live without me.
You mother fucker. She thought. Her blood was near boiling now. I have moved on. My life is so much better now. So much better without you! God she wanted him to see how much better her life is now without him. How perfect and classy it is. With her perfect man. Who is better than him in so many ways. So much richer than him. A man that doesn't have to steal shit.
How good would it feel to rub it in his face? Flaunt her new life in front of him. She took a sip of her drink. The thought was intoxicating. To finally have the upper hand over him. And have the last word. Finally. God she wanted some fucking revenge on this asshole more than anything at this moment.
Her phone then buzzed with a text from her fiancee asking if she was still over by the bar. "Yeah, be right back, give me a minute. Ran into an old friend" she texted before sliding her phone back into her Kate Spade purse. She stared wickedly at her ex, as the delicious prospect of revenge began to overwhelm her with excitement.
It only took about 8 steps to reach him. "Cole? Is that you?" She said in a fake manufactured surprised tone, holding her drink in a way to ensure he got a front row view of her massive engagement diamond ring. She knew just the sight of that would drive him nuts. After some small talk she smiled at him. "Why don't you join us? I'm dying to hear how life's been treating you, and I can't wait to catch you up on how my life has been." She said, using every ounce of strength to keep her sweet smile from spreading into a vengeful wicked grin. Fuck this is going to be great. He'll see how insignificant he is in my world now.
So like I said, I want to write a twisted story where the revenge backfires spectacularly. In the first few hours, the payback was priceless for her. Seeing his face of shock was perfect. But then…
She didn't anticipate her fiancee falling for her ex's charm, getting a massive man crush on him and thinking he was the coolest and most fun guy ever. WT actual F? Or that her fiancee would invite him out to future outings. Or that his friends would also fall for him charm? Fuck! this is not good! How the fuck do I get rid of him when my fiancee and everyone else loves him?? Leave my fiancee and his friends out of this you asshole!!! Or that his drinking/partying influence would start rubbing off on her fiancee, and his friends. Babe! Are you drunk? You never drink like this!
The spiral down. She pulled him back into her life to make him suffer, but he turned the tables and wouldn't leave. First her fiancee fell under his control. Then his friends. Then her friends. Then…?
Guy's point of view:
Evan suddenly had everything he wanted in life. His career as a lawyer had taken off when he won a long shot 100 plus million dollar settlement against a major corporation. His windfall from it was 10's of millions of dollars.
After that settlement, his life changed drastically. He had luxury cars, a mansion sized house, a vacation house, and lived an upscale, high class life. But one aspect of his new life that was the most surprising to him was that suddenly women noticed him—extremely hot and attractive women. The types of women Evan never got the time of day from in the past.
Growing up, Evan was never a ladies man. He was considered a "nerd" in school, the thin scrawny timid type that stuck to his school work. Because of this, he was a natural target for bullying, and Cole Sterling, the charismatic, popular, star athlete got great pleasure out of bullying him. Evan hated Cole, but deep down inside, it was more than that. He envied him. Cole got the hot girls. He had all of the friends. And he was extremely popular. As much as Evan hated him, he wished he had everything Cole had—the popularity, the friends, the parties, and especially the hot girl.
As much as Cole Sterling made Evan's life hell, he also acted as his motivation to excel in his schooling and career to change his situation and get to the point he was today—wealthy successful life with a smoking hot fiancée.
So that's why it was so jarring that evening when Evan recognized something very familiar out of the corner of his eye...an arm as it wiped down the bar. It is odd that someone could recognize and remember the particular muscle tone and vein patterns in an arm, but that muscle tone was all it took to trigger a flood of painful memories for Evan. He didn't even need to see the face to know that arm belonged to Cole Sterling.
Evan didn't think he would ever see Cole Sterling again, especially with his new lifestyle, but there he was. As Evan stood watching, his feelings slowly began transitioning from fear into anger and resentment. There he was, the man that caused him so much hurt and pain. Years of anger and hatred began boiling to the surface. Look at him…working for tips as a lowly bartender…finally living up to his pathetic existence…oh how things have changed Cole Sterling. Evan thought to himself.
Evan should have walked away that night. He had already won the game of life compared to Cole. But he just couldn't. It wasn't good enough. Evan wanted Cole to know just how little and meaningless he was in Evan's life now. He wanted Cole to know that HE got the job. HE got the money. HE got the friends. HE got the hot girl, and he wanted to rub it in Cole's face that HE won the long game, and HE has all of the power now. He could buy this bar and fire Cole Sterling right now if he wanted. Evan didn't want to walk away. He couldn't. Evan wanted payback. Evan wanted revenge.
So moving forward, I envision Evan pulling Cole back into his life. Maybe offering him a demeaning job to work bartender at upscale events for his law firm (promising the prospect of amazing tips of course, but locking him into a long term contract knowing he'd make sure the job and pay was absolute shit to make him suffer). The ultimate goal was to show off his power and wealth and friends and lifestyle and how successful he's become and rub it all in Cole's face. Making Cole have to live it over and over seeing Evan's success and having Evan and his fiancee and friends look down on Cole, making him the only one working there while everyone enjoyed themselves, working for tips off of all Evan's friends and coworkers. Evan spent half his life wanting and craving what Cole had. Now Evan wanted to turn the tables and make Cole want and crave everything HE had.
It seemed like the perfect revenge, and initially, it was. Evan's success ate at Cole's ego, and at first being a poor bartender in Evan's event was humiliating. For the first time ever, Evan had all the power over Cole. The upper hand. and it was immensely intoxicating.
But there was one little problem—Evan's revenge was short sighted. Sure, the event Cole had to work was degrading and humiliating to him just as Evan had planned. And Cole DID envy Evan and was jealous and DID crave and want everything that Evan had, so Evan got exactly what he wanted. but now what? What additional suffering and humiliation was Evan going to inflict on Cole having him locked in this long contract working similar events? Evan was so greedy in getting revenge, so blindly hellbent on maximizing Cole's suffering, that he didn't even consider that the contract actually locked Cole into his life for the foreseeable future—a pissed off, jealous, dangerous and manipulative Cole. One thing about Cole that Evan underestimated was that when Cole wants and craves something, he'll stop at nothing to get it.
So I'd love to have a writing partner play Evan's fiancee, caught in the middle of these two men. Of course she is the centerpiece of this game of reveng—the thing that Evan is most proud of and flaunts in Cole's face the most. But that also makes her Cole's biggest target. Cole knows seducing her would crush Evan. As an added possibility, maybe Evan doesn't even know how dangerous of a game he is playing, considering maybe she secretly has a thing for bad boys.
