tab tab tab welcome to a jinsley greekmythxdanceydancexkpop original production! what do you get when one half of a roleplay pairing's roman empire is greek mythology, another half's got years and years of dance history and a slightly equal appreciation for kpop? this. you get this. welcome to OLYMPUS DANCE.
this roleplay was a long time coming. okay. that's a lie, but also not really. i thought up the idea of OLYMPUS many many many years ago on another roleplay site and have had two previous roleplay attempts prior to this. they went well, but all good things often come to an end sadly. EXCEPT THIS ONE! i proposed this plot to JINFINITE approximately last year and while he was down for it, we were swamped with other roleplays that had more priority (and they weren't a whole new roleplay to set up). so i just waited. and waited. and waited. until all of my patience paid off and suddenly i was f l o o d e d with jk reels on ig. i got the hint real fast and jumped even faster. so here we are. one of my precious babies given a third chance at life. and you know what they say about the third time. **lemme quickly give credit where credit is due! shoutout to my previous olympus rp partner for the logo graphic**
xxxxxxxxxxintroducing ...PERSEPHONE //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// xxx HAEWON MICHELLE KIM tab tab MICHIE tab tab TWENTY-FIVE tab tab CONTEMPORARY & HIP HOP
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xxxxx⊱ WRAPPED IS HERE ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
our lady of the underground - amber gray
puppet show - xg
hip - mamamoo
i love you 3000 II - 88rising, stephanie poetri, jackson wang
lucid - rina sawayama
xxxxx⊱ JUST THE TIDS && BITS ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
you're probably asking yourself, whyyy does she look so familiar? well, you're likely a kpop fan. see, michie was the former lead vocals for the girl group MYLADY. now that you know that, you're likely asking yourself, whyyyy did she leave? unfortunately, no matter how many rumors circulate, that is one secret she will never tell.
she spent much of her former years growing up in london, england. she and her three siblings were required to complete schooling there beginning in primary school. honestly, london feels more like home than korea ever could.
the biggest scaredy cat on the planet. horror movies? not a chance. haunted houses? over her dead body. halloween? she is very wary of the holiday and the only redeeming factor is the sweets. there is no "trying" when it comes to jumpscares. she will be scared and she will scream bloody murder.
xxxxx⊱ RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS GO GO GO ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLE → @missymichie
FAVORITE COLOR → yellow
FAVORITE ANIMAL → sea otter
FAVORITE FOOD → tteokbokki
COFFEE OR TEA → coffee
BOBA ORDER → thai tea with pudding, but any fruit tea with grass jelly is becoming a new fave
HOBBY/IES → yoga, reading, beach bumming
TOP COUNTRY YOU WANT TO VISIT → netherlands
GUILTY PLEASURE → lego sets
DAY TIME OR NIGHT → day time all the time. stores are almost always open to explore and visit
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER BE DOING RN? → starting a new hobby? pole dancing maybe?
xxxxxxxxxxintroducing ...DIONYSUS //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// xxx HARU BAEK tab tab HARU tab tab TWENTY-ONE tab tab URBAN
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xxxxx⊱ WRAPPED IS HERE ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
dionysus - bts
yes or no - jungkook
seven - jungkook
all i wanna do - jay park
oasis - crush ft. zico
xxxxx⊱ JUST THE TIDS && BITS ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
a bit of a water snob, haru will be the first to tell you that not all water is created equal. he definitely has his preferred brands, all of which are korean mineral waters. but to be fair he is an avid water drinker so it’s understandable that he is particular about it. lately he’s been hooked on liquid iv and carries packs in his bag to have available everywhere he goes.
hard work and dedication have truly paid off as far as haru’s flexibility and upper body strength go. not only can the boy do all sorts of flips, rolls, and bboy floor work but he can even walk across the studio on his hands.
born on march 14, haru was literally named after the holiday: white day. and yes, he thoroughly enjoys white chocolate. it’s become the dessert most associated with him and even though he has received his share of teasing over it, haru would never say no to getting chocolates for his birthday.
xxxxx⊱ RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS GO GO GO ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLE → @0314_bh
FAVORITE COLOR → black
FAVORITE ANIMAL → red panda
FAVORITE FOOD → instant ramyun; it’s a comfort/nostalgia thing
COFFEE OR TEA → honestly neither, but a matcha latte if no wasn’t an option. sweetened of course
BOBA ORDER → banana milk tea! but in recognizing that it’s an uncommon menu item (ahem…boba guys has it tho), strawberry slush with or without green tea is acceptable. with boba of course
HOBBY/IES → working out (particularly boxing), karaoke, and mixing drinks
TOP COUNTRY YOU WANT TO VISIT → south korea; the homesickness is real
GUILTY PLEASURE → yakult soju
DAY TIME OR NIGHT → definitely a night owl
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER BE DOING RN? → taking a dance class
xxxxxxxxxxintroducing ...APHRODITE //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// xxx SEOHYUN ABIGAIL PARK tab tab GAIL tab tab TWENTY-THREE tab tab MODERN
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xxxxx⊱ WRAPPED IS HERE ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
aphrodite - wheein
dally - hyolyn
in the mood - wheein
la la lost you - niki
test drive - ariana grande
xxxxx⊱ JUST THE TIDS && BITS ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
if there is anyone you want to be your friend, it is gail. why you may ask? well, aside from being cpr certified, she's hard at work in nursing school. #gobruins
if you're in need of an excuse to get out of the house, say. less. your girl, gail is right there at your side. hell, she will be in the driver's seat to take you wherever you want (or she wants) to go. just...don't be surprised if you somehow end up somewhere like san diego.
gail is honestly in the know about going out/exploring cities on a budget. and sometimes for free. but her favorite activity that she can often do on a budget or free is visiting museums, art exhibits and zoos/aquariums.
xxxxx⊱ RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS GO GO GO ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLE → @_gagail
FAVORITE COLOR → pink
FAVORITE ANIMAL → rabbit
FAVORITE FOOD → pizza (the cheesier the better)
COFFEE OR TEA → coffee (the stronger the better)
BOBA ORDER → wintermelon with aloe vera
HOBBY/IES → hiking, snowboarding, rarely being home
TOP COUNTRY YOU WANT TO VISIT → thailand
GUILTY PLEASURE → all things nerdy
DAY TIME OR NIGHT → day & night, honestly
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER BE DOING RN? → anything but being stuck in class all day
xxxxx⊱ WRAPPED IS HERE ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
lie - jimin
set me free pt.2 - jimin
save me - bts
black swan - bts
butterfly - bts
xxxxx⊱ JUST THE TIDS && BITS ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
it’s nico. not dominic, and never dom. always nico. you might hear nicky every so often by his family…but he goes by nico and won’t answer to any other variation.
you can thank his extensive dance background for this, but if you ever see a pair of shoes against the wall, chances are they are nico’s. it’s not uncommon for him to dance barefoot. he does his best to keep his shoes on in all classes, but once olympus practice begins it’s a 50/50 chance whether they will stay on.
speaking of dance, nico actually teaches beginners at olympus, as well as a children’s ballet class at his parents’ studio. his olympus class is pretty popular, but despite many students' pleas, he has repeatedly refused to teach anything higher than beginners. he has only ever shared why with a handful of people, but it is because he doesn’t want to be in the position of pushing dancers past their breaking point the way he has been time and time again. he would rather teach and encourage beginners who are hungry to learn and aren’t infected by perfectionism.
xxxxx⊱ RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS GO GO GO ▶////////////////////////////////////////////////
SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLE → @nicnac
FAVORITE COLOR → gold
FAVORITE ANIMAL → ducks, especially ducklings
FAVORITE FOOD → cheese balls
COFFEE OR TEA → coffee (iced americano)
BOBA ORDER → not a boba drinker, but a classic milk tea (half sweet, light ice, without boba) to feel included when out with others or during group orders
HOBBY/IES → origami (particularly folding paper stars), sleeping to pass the time, honestly just about anything that will keep the mind busy
TOP COUNTRY YOU WANT TO VISIT → thailand
GUILTY PLEASURE → drinking corona (light is preferred variation due to the lower calories and carbs, but usually won’t turn down the others)
DAY TIME OR NIGHT → both and neither
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER BE DOING RN? → napping in the sun after a long bath
”Again!” The music shut off and in its absence the only sound was Nico’s heavy breathing as his body recovered from the whiplash of going from leaping and spinning across the studio floor to suddenly coming to an abrupt halt.
“Dominic, stop looking down, you're going to spin out.” Nico’s eyes almost immediately grew dull and he turned his head away in frustration as he caught his breath. This was one of his parents’ habits that absolutely drove him insane. Hating his full name, he had insisted on being called Nico for almost as long as he could remember, but every so often when his parents wanted to look professional and avoid any chance of being called out for favoritism with their son dancing in their company, they would call him Dominic and it never failed to get under his skin and where the rest of his hurt manifested until the pressure grew too much to handle and he would add a new line in his skin to find relief.
He knew it wasn't entirely intentional, he had brought it up many times and they would frequently apologize later or correct themselves shortly after. But the damage was already done. How hard was it to just call him Nico? And how could they be so ignorant to not learn from their past mistakes? Not even almost losing him had been enough to set things straight…
“…Nico? Again, from the top.”
He knew this routine inside out, upside down and backwards. They had been rehearsing for months, and they had already performed it twice back in LA, but now they were in New York. The Big Apple. If you were to ask Nico, he would say that this last minute rehearsal, the morning of the show, was redundant and unnecessary. That’s not to say that he disagreed with it though. This perfectionism was what he had been raised in, and he knew deep down that even if they didn’t have an official rehearsal, that he would be in the rec room at their hotel barefoot with his earbuds practicing over and over and over again. But despite knowing that, he still found himself annoyed as he walked back to the ballet bars that wrapped around the perimeter of the studio room.
”Hey…you okay?” Viola was his present partner, and had been for over a year now. Spending such an extreme amount of time together during rehearsals had created quite the bond. But that bond didn’t extend outside of ballet. While Nico had full trust in her as a dance partner, he would never consider confiding anything personal with her. Her delicate, perfectly manicured fingers were fiddling with his clothes and hair, busily resetting his physical appearance while the other dancers returned to their starting positions.
”Yeah, I’m fine,” And in true Nico fashion he told her a bold faced lie with a convincing smile and a deceivingly decisive tone to his voice to not leave any space for her to question his genuinity. He didn’t ever give excuses like “I’m just tired”, because even that meant he was admitting to some level that he did not feel okay. And the last thing Nico ever wanted was to let someone see that he wasn’t okay.
He didn’t know what Viola knew about him. He definitely hadn’t shared anything and he was most certain his parents would never disclose his history. So whatever, if anything, she knew would have been purely rumors and gossip circulated through the company. After all only a few had been there long enough to have been witness to his hospitalization at eighteen and subsequent withdrawal from ballet. But even those few didn’t have a proper understanding of it all. No one knew anything about Nico, and that was exactly how he intended to keep it. He was friendly, agreeable, social, Nico was a master at keeping the attention off of himself, ”Don’t forget we cut the second lift.”
The rest of rehearsal went better, and they were excused by noon to get lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon preparing as they saw fit. But while most everyone else left, Nico sat on the marley floors with his back against the mirror. In front of him sat a vending machine chocolate muffin and what was left of an iced americano from earlier in the morning. In one hand was his phone, the other started as an open palm but as he softly counted aloud he put down a finger with each hour as he calculated the time difference between New York and Los Angeles. It was just after 9am back home…surely Gail would be awake. And if she wasn’t then…well it was at least late enough that he wouldn’t feel bad waking her up.
The phone rang and rang through his earbuds until Gail finally answered and appeared on the screen of his FaceTime call, ”Hiii~” Nico brushed the blonde out of his eyes and smoothed his hoodie out upon seeing his own image in the corner of his phone, ”Did I wake you up?”
It didn’t take long for Nico to tire of holding his phone so he turned around, propping his phone against the floor and the mirror while he lowered himself to lay on his stomach with his muffin and coffee between them. He sandwiched his hoodie sleeve between his hand and his cheek, preventing it from sliding down his forearm while also adding a layer of comfort for his face as his hand supported the full weight of his head.
In truth his body was sore and exhausted from all the extra rehearsals he’d had in conjunction with his poor sleep schedule. It felt so nice right now to just lay here on the cool floor and not have to do anything.
He and Gail spent a little while catching up on things since their last call, all the while he slowly picked pieces off his muffin, trying to force an appetite he did not have when Gail suddenly asked about his flight tomorrow, confirming he was supposed to land around 3pm.
”Yeah I mean I haven’t gotten any notifications about it changing….” ”You did remember to check into your flight, right?!” ”Of course—“ ”Please tell me you are not eating that,” His dark eyes flickered slowly away from his phone to see his mother approaching him from behind through the mirror, her hand gesturing to the partially eaten pastry and nearly gone coffee on the floor before him, ”Nico!”
While she went on to repeat the diet a nutritionist had created for him, Nico just silently picked up his phone and threw a quick peace sign to Gail with a mumbled, ”I’ll call you later,” before he hung up the call and stood to address his mother…or his director…whichever it was she was choosing to be that day.
Maybe it was all because of the muffin he had been eating, maybe it was his insomnia or spite. Or maybe he just really wasn’t as good as everyone made him out to be…whatever the reason was, he messed up the performance that night. He was supposed to end his solo on a dime stop spin, but at the very last millisecond he lost his balance and took a step forward to catch his balance. It would go unnoticed by the audience as he raised his arms to strike a finishing pose and an uproar of applause filled the room. But Nico knew. And he knew his parents knew. And the rest of the company knew: he had fucked up.
Backstage it was all compliments and congratulations, and Nico accepted everything with gratitude and smiles, but inside he could feel his self esteem crumbling. This wasn’t like him, he didn’t make mistakes like this and certainly not during a live performance. Nico maintained his professional facade while around all others long enough to make it to the safety of his hotel room, but once he was alone there was no hiding his disappointment. He slipped out of the sweat set he had put on over his costume, and then stood in front of the full length mirror for a solid sixty seconds as he examined every inch of himself. To the untrained eye he was the epitome of perfection. Slim and toned with just enough muscle to excel at dance without adding bulk to his physique. His blonde hair was clearly maintained, no signs of his natural roots growing in, and his face held a youthfulness that would keep him looking younger than he was for years to come.
But it was what wasn't visible that was steadily eating him alive. Make-up covered the dark circles around his eyes from his insomnia and poor sleep schedule, and brought the color back into his cheeks that were otherwise pale from his inconsistent nutrition. The make-up covered more than just his face though, and Nico’s eyes trailed down his bare arms, exposed by his sleeveless costume. He would never be caught in such a revealing shirt normally, but the same make-up hiding his sleep deprivation up above was also perfectly blended down his arms covering years of pain. And as they continued down the rest of his body, his eyes could see through what his costume kept covered—the scars along his upper thighs and hips; places he had grown to favor in order to better hide his unhealthy coping mechanism.
Nico couldn't place when this latest depressive episode started, it was difficult to pinpoint considering his baseline mental health was so low to begin with. But being out here in New York for the past week wasn’t helping, in fact if anything it was harder on him. His daily routines were all thrown off, his only escape from his parents was when he was alone in his hotel room, and the only time he got with his best friend was the snippets of time he was able to call her when normally they would have been together at least every other if not every day. It wasn't like Nico confided in Gail much, he didn't share his troubles or ask for help beyond making a decision such as what to wear for dinner. But being around her was usually enough to help him destress and reset. And not seeing her for a week was taking its toll now.
By the time he had wiped off all the make-up and changed out of his costume, Nico buried himself in the blankets on his bed as he stared at the time on his phone. It was 1:15am here which meant it would be 11:15pm back in LA. Gail was most likely awake, but despite knowing that and despite missing her as much as he was, Nico still couldn't bring himself to press her name in his FaceTime recent calls list. Instead he went down a rabbit hole on YouTube watching and rewinding and dissecting old videos of himself until the sun was peeking through the edges of the curtains signaling that he had pulled an all-nighter.
It would be too early now to contact Gail, being that the west coast was three hours behind. Nico instead busied himself by packing, even though his flight wasn’t until 11:25am….which was basically a six hour flight…then subtract the three hour time difference. He should be back in LA before 3pm. Which was technically early enough that he could go home to shower and even take a nap before Haru's birthday party later that night. But Nico was suddenly dreading the thought of going out.
He felt awful about it, overflowing with guilt that he didn’t want to attend Haru's twenty-first birthday. But in his defense he would have just traveled across the country, after pulling an all-nighter, after a performance, after having practiced all of yesterday for hours on end. But none of that felt like a valid enough reason to him though. Nico was avoiding social engagements and he knew it—he was distancing himself and even though he knew that it wouldn't help him feel better in the end, it was still easier to run than face his problems. Besides, even though he was careful, the last thing he wanted was to be responsible for bringing something back with him and getting OLYMPUS’ youngest sick. At least, that was what he told himself and what he decided he would explain to Haru later when he would call to wish him happy birthday and apologize that he wouldn’t make it to the party.
In truth it would probably be fine, it wasn't like he was going to be making out with the kid or anything. And he hadn’t been particularly social here in New York either. But Nico didn't have it in him to be able to show up tonight….though the verdict was still out on whether he could pull himself together enough to attend practice or the team party with OLYMPUS tomorrow.
The rest of the morning time moved slowly for Nico. He kept Gail up to date on all of his activities as far as packing, checking out and arriving at the airport. And he did make that call to Haru at a more respectable PST hour when he would actually be awake. But all in all he felt delayed and sluggish, like his body was stuck in tar while his mind was strapped into a high speed roller coaster. He would go through what felt like ten thousand thoughts only to find that only a couple minutes had passed. But having all this time in his head ended up being the perfect opportunity to push himself to do something he had been avoiding for a couple months now.
Dear Gail,
I know you’ll never read this anyways but my therapist wanted me to keep a daily journal. She wants me to work on being more open and so she thinks if I write things out then it’ll help but I never did. So she said to try writing a letter to someone instead. And it's been weeks now but here it is.
I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be telling you though.
Nico paused, his pen hovering over the paper as his memory circled back to last month when he had been assigned this letter writing project. His therapist had specifically clarified that she did not expect him to share the contents of his letter if he didn’t want to. Which he didn’t. And that she just wanted him to tell the recipient something they didn’t know about him. It didn’t have to be a secret or deeply personal, she just wanted him to open up. To allow himself to be more vulnerable than he portrayed himself to be. He didn’t exactly want to just sit and write his life story out on paper, besides he didn’t have the capacity for all that right now—and that was exactly it. That was what he could share, just what he was feeling right now.
I couldn’t sleep last night. I messed up my final fouetté at the show and then my brain wouldn’t shut up. I was on my phone all night till the sun came up. And then I was awake all morning…and here I am writing this more than halfway through the flight and I still haven’t slept.
That in particular felt weird to admit. Nico was never one to vocalize a complaint outside of perhaps the temperature or the weather. So to flat out say he hadn’t slept in over 24 hrs felt weird and he honestly had to fight with himself to not scratch out that last part. He just had to remind himself that Gail would never see this anyways, the purpose was just to give him an outlet.
I wanted to call you last night. I was scared of what I would do being alone.
To be completely honest, the compelling urge to hurt himself last night was strong. But he had sunk so deep into his hotel bed and his body could not be convinced to drag himself to the bathroom at 3am. He so frequently stayed over at Gail’s apartment these days that suddenly finding himself alone on the other side of the country and experiencing his darkness had been terrifying. He had no one to go to in an effort to distract himself. No one to go on late night adventures to keep his body too busy for his mind to worry. Instead he had spent every night alone in his hotel room fighting with himself from succumbing to his pain. Convincing himself that it was just a bad week. That he was just upset being in New York and things would be better once he was back at home. His feelings weren’t worth getting upset over. His feelings weren’t worth…anything. They didn’t matter. He just needed to get through the week and everything would be better once he got back to Los Angeles. That’s what he believed at least, that’s what he told himself over and over again whenever he felt like he couldn’t keep faking that he was okay.
I missed you all week. I know we talked like everyday but it was so hard being here without you.
Nico paused to adjust his grip on his pen and shift his weight in his seat. Sitting in the cramped window seat for three hours without movement was taking a toll on his body. But he couldn’t bring himself to get up and walk to the back of the plane to stretch his legs and take a bathroom break. Instead he pulled his legs up into his seat with him, taking advantage of his tiny body while he leaned his head against the wall of the plane and stared hard at the paper on his seat tray. He didn’t write anything else for several minutes as he debated ending it there even though there was something that had been on the tip of his tongue throughout the entire letter. Something he had wanted to be the very first thing on the page but he had been too scared to verbalize it—even in writing that would never be seen by another.
I want to quit.
Quit…ballet? Dance as a whole? …his life? Nico once again hesitated to lift his pen to continue. He hated this. Obviously this was the entire reason his therapist had asked him to do this, to make him face himself on his own time and make sure he was aware of himself. It was one thing to sit in his thoughts, but to put them in words to explain to another, those became the truth in the chaos that was his head. Sitting here at some 30,000 feet in the air, flying at 550mph…all the while his entire entity just zeroed out seeing his confession on the page. He didn’t want to be Dominic Coventry, ace male ballet dancer of Los Angeles Ballet. Nor did he want to be Nico, Selene of OLYMPUS. He just wanted to give up everything. To be rid of all the pressure and stress of the dance world that he had never not known.
But I’m too scared. I think I’m just tired. I’ll be okay once I’m back home. The plane lands in three more hours and I’ll see you then. We can go get lunch like you promi—
Nico’s hand abruptly stopped as his mother’s voice rang through his head again reminding him of the diet he was supposed to be on and he sighed in a heavy frustration before aggressively crossing out the line about getting lunch. He couldn’t even write a fake letter without his parents getting in the way and controlling his life. Honestly it was a pretty crappy letter anyways. There was no cohesive flow to it, it was pretty much a rant of whatever nonsense came to mind…which in retrospect was probably the original point his therapist had wanted in him keeping a journal…
Sorry, I don’t know what I’m even saying anymore. But I guess the point of this letter is just to say that this week sucked and I’m just glad it’s over.
Nico
For the remaining three hours of his flight he read the letter multiple times and debated long and hard with himself before at last coming to a decision just after the announcement was made to raise all tray tables and return seats to their upright positions. He would do it. He would give the letter to Gail.
Nico picked the pen back up and hastily crossed out one more line. The very first one about knowing she would never read it. He then folded the page into thirds, signed her name across it and dropped it into the gift bag at his feet of souvenirs he had bought her.
His heart was racing in the chest the entire time the plane taxied to the gate, and his hands shook as he fumbled with his phone to type out a text to Gail that he had landed. He was so torn between regretting his decision to share his letter as his nerves got the better of him, and then also having a feeling of relief as the tiniest bit of weight was lifted off his shoulders. It wasn’t like he disclosed anything incredibly personal or sensitive in the letter. But it was still more than he shared with anyone apart from his therapist and that made this decision absolutely terrifying.
By the time he was at the curbside in the pick up zone of LAX he had changed his mind at least four times as he watched the dot that signified Gail’s location on the map on his phone as she ever so slowly made progress towards him. He held his phone in one hand, her gift bag in the other, and then as if his oversized hoodie didn't accentuate it enough on its own, the two duffle bags criss crossed over his body absolutely dwarfed his petite frame.
But at last Nico was able to look up from his phone and a smile spread across his face when he caught sight of Gail’s car approaching the curb. He tried to wave but upon realizing both hands were occupied he ended up sort of bouncing in place like an excited child instead until she pulled up and parked so she could help him load his bags into the back.
”I’m backkkk!!” As soon as the heavy bags were down he flung his arms around her for the hug he had been desperately missing all week. He likely prolonged the embrace a little longer than he should of, especially considering they were in the loading zone at the airport and surely any minute security would come up and tell them to move the car. But Nico needed this hug, and so when they did finally separate he was very quick to shift the attention away from himself as he held up the bag of gifts, ”This is for you! There’s some like fancy macarons and some local artist stuff I thought you would like but you can just open it later, it’s nothing special.”
Above all else Nico just didn’t want to be around when she opened it because he didn’t want to be present when she saw his letter. But at the same time he didn’t want to go back to his own apartment where he would just continue to lay in bed alone in the dark, so Nico just kept talking as they climbed into their respective seats in the car, ”Can I stay over tonight?" She said of course, but went on to mention how she had assumed he would since Haru's noraebang party would probably go so late, "...I’m not going,” Nico caught the glance she gave him and with his track record of flaking on team activities was quick to carry on with his alibi as he pulled his airport sunglasses off, lowered his hood and tugged the cuffs of his sleeves all the way to his finger tips, ”I just spent six hours each way in a plane and a week in New York. I don’t want to risk getting him sick if I carried something back home with me. But don’t worry, I already called him this morning to wish him Happy Birthday and told him I won’t be there.”
At least he was being responsible despite using Haru as his scapegoat escape?
HARU (ENGLISH)tabHARU (KOREAN)tabOTHERS (ENGLISH)tabOTHERS (KOREAN)
It was the repeated sound of an alert notification from his phone that woke Haru some five hours after finally falling asleep. The birthday boy had of course been awake at midnight, receiving texts and dms wishing him a happy birthday, though he had already been getting messages almost all of yesterday from his connections and fans back home in Korea thanks to the sixteen hour time difference. He had then proceeded to stay up an additional three and a half hours…just because. He played games on his phone, practiced some choreo, he was just awake for no real reason. And it wasn’t like it was a one time thing, Haru’s sleep schedule was just odd like that. He would just be up at all hours of the night living his life, especially if he didn’t have practice, classes or a gym workout earlier in the night. Without an outlet for his energy he was left to buzz around his room until the exhaustion finally kicked in.
This then meant that getting pulled out of sleep just after eight in the morning was rather painful. Haru’s hand blindly reached out for his phone to snooze the alarm alerting him to take his medication. Once his dark room had returned to peaceful silence he managed to lift his head and open his eyes just enough to squint at his phone for the time. 8:17am…so his alarm had been going off for seventeen minutes and he had completely slept through it until now. And he had only snoozed it, which meant it would be back with a vengeance soon enough. But that was fine…it’s not like it was super time sensitive. He just needed to take it in the morning with breakfast. Honestly he had been meaning to set the alarm back by at least an hour considering how frequently he slept in, but there had been a couple mornings he had had opening shifts at work and got there forgetting to take his meds, so he had talked himself out of changing the time and just dealt with snoozing it for eternity.
Not even a minute had passed since silencing his phone when he heard a knock at his door accompanied by his mother’s voice calling him to come eat breakfast with the reminder to take his medicine. Haru's eyes rolled back till they shut and he rolled over with an exasperated sigh. Not even on his birthday could he catch a break, “Haru?” “Okay! I heard you. Aish…”
He actually got along pretty well with his parents and didn’t normally take this angsty tone with them. But there was no denying that living with them was taking its toll and draining him. It was his birthday of all days, and he wasn't allowed to sleep in and wasn't trusted to take care of himself?!
When Haru did manage to get up and leave his room, he entered the kitchen to find the table set for three with seaweed soup sitting in front of his usual chair. His mother was beaming as she wished him a happy birthday and hurried over to give him a hug, which he reciprocated. His father on the other hand appeared to be juggling a work call and just offered Haru a smile from across the room. But Haru only got so far as to sit down and pick up his chopsticks before his mother vocalized for seemingly the hundredth time, her concern over him going out tonight. She asked if he still planned to, and if he was sure he felt up for it. She made sure to share that she knew he was always careful but that she was just worried the others wouldn’t be. After all she didn’t know them, not really anyways. Of the friend group he was celebrating with tonight, she had only met Michie noona.
Haru always tried to be patient and understanding with his parents. He knew they were just worried and wanted to protect him, but it was honestly suffocating living with them constantly scrutinizing his decisions. After all, it wasn't like Haru was particularly reckless. He always looked out for himself and wore a mask everywhere as a precaution. He took his medication and followed his doctor’s advice mostly.
But he was also so tired of everyone in his life telling him what he couldn't do. His parents were of course the number one offenders. But there were few, if any, who truly let him have his freedom. Even his teammates, coworkers, and friends were all guilty to varying degrees. Haru didn't blame them, and he did appreciate that they cared enough to look out for him as meticulously as they did. But he couldn't deny how frustrating it was to be told no over and over again.
Right on cue as if his own body wanted to tease him and prove their point, Haru visibly froze as a cough deep in his throat tried to escape. Only it was met with resistance as Haru held his breath for as long as he could before swallowing hard. A tiny wheeze of a gasp could be heard before he cleared his throat, his eyes darting up to see both his parents watching him closely.
It wasn’t like it was anything to be concerned about, he had practically just woken up! Plenty of people without health problems had groggy morning voices or woke up with stuffy noses. But he coughed once and he was shoved under a magnifying glass for closer examination…
Haru chose to not comment on their helicopter parenting and instead wordlessly returned to his breakfast. He had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last he heard of their concerns for him going out tonight, but for the time being they had backed off and Haru really just wanted to enjoy his birthday in peace, ”Do you want to open your presents now?”
Being that it was just him and his parents, present opening was brief. He just had a few material gifts from his parents, anything from relatives had either been directly deposited into his bank account or was a card with cash. But when his phone rang, Haru jumped at the opportunity to escape back to his room after a quick thanks and I love you to his parents. So with his presents in his arms and his phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder, Haru very excitedly managed to answer the call just before it went to voicemail, “Oh hyung!”
”Happy birthday!!” “Are you back in LA now~?” “No, I haven’t left New York yet. My flight should land there around 3pm.“
While Haru physically struggled to open the door to his room with his hands full, his mind was struggling to guess the reason for Nico to be calling him. Sure he could just be calling to wish him happy birthday…but he could text that. Especially considering Nico was in an entirely different time zone right now, was probably super busy, and they would see each other later that night anyways. So as much as Haru appreciated it, he still couldn’t help but wonder what Nico’s intentions were.
”No it’s okay, you’re probably right,” But Haru was unable to hide the disappointment in his voice after Nico finally shared not only that he wouldn’t be attending tonight’s party…but more importantly the reason why. Yes Nico had a valid point by prioritizing his immuno-compromised health, but him being right didn’t make it any easier to once again be told no. First his parents didn’t want him to go, now one of his best friends wouldn’t be there, all on account of the possibility that he might get sick. But that was the same reasoning to not take the bus or go to the mall. He could get sick anywhere, no matter how careful he was. Did they all expect him to just live in a plastic bubble or something??
Before hanging up, Nico promised they’d go out for drinks later to make up for missing his party. But Haru caught the meaning behind his words. The lack of mention about the second party tomorrow with Olympus was enough of a tip off that he could assume Nico wouldn’t be at that one either. Haru’s disappointment grew at that realization, but not in Nico for missing his birthday…rather it was more similar to a disappointment in himself. A form of guilt almost. He was well aware that Nico did this frequently enough to gain a reputation amongst the team. But when he did show up, Nico would be 110% invested and so much fun to be around. Haru couldn’t help but feel like something had been off for a while now and steadily getting worse, but Nico had never expressed having a hard time and Haru had never asked. And it seemed that wouldn’t be changing anytime soon as he stared down at his phone for a minute after the call disconnected.
He had another hour or two to chill in his room before it was time to get ready to go to work, aka change into all the protective gear for his motorcycle for his commute to the boba shop.
Haru was their most part time employee, and so most of his shifts were short and at odd times to help cover his coworkers breaks. It worked well for everyone. Haru didn’t want to be trapped in a full time job that would cut into his passions and priorities: dance. And he was lucky to not need the income in order to survive since he lived at home and his parents paid for most everything. Haru worked for pocket money to fund his hobbies, and so his lack of hours did not bother him, and his manager loved his scheduling flexibility. Yes it would of course be nice to make more money, but Haru had no plans for his future. His planning stayed in the present and at present he enjoyed his 12-20hrs a week, minimum wage plus tips and free drinks each shift.
”Wait, Haru isn’t it your birthday?? What’re you doing here!”
At first he just shrugged and smiled and tried to wave off his coworker’s concern, but that wasn’t enough. She was so upset on his behalf that they scheduled him on his birthday, ”No, no…I—” He…’what’...? Haru’s hands gestured awkwardly in front of him, almost as though subtly trying to play charades as his brain tried to English properly, ”I wanted to work,” But this explanation was just met with even more exaggerated disbelief, she was absolutely dumbfounded why he would choose to work on his birthday.
Was he insane? Was he a masochist? Why!?
It took a bit more stumbling through his words before he was able to properly convey his reasoning for working on his birthday. Yes, their manager had been considerate and asked if he had wanted to take his birthday off. But his noona had advised him to take the day after off instead. Well…technically her honest opinion was to take the whole week off, but Haru’s work ethic was too strong for that, so she had settled with convincing him to take tomorrow off because, as she put it “You only turn 21 once.” And then he often wasn’t scheduled on Thursdays or Mondays so as to give himself time to rest the day after practice. Those days were only utilized on a case by case basis if the shop was super understaffed and they needed him to be there. Otherwise they were known as Haru’s health days. So by agreeing to come in on his birthday for his short little four hour shift, Haru had successfully won himself two days off in a row to help recover from what he was sure would be two insane birthday parties that he prayed he would still remember in the morning after
His little four hour shift was over in no time and Haru was changed back into his biker gear except for his gloves as his hands still had things to do. Things such as texting his noona a reminder to send him the address for her place, and then afterwards expertly stashing away the boba drinks he had made for them into his bag. There wasn’t a whole lot of room in there considering he had packed his work uniform and enough clothes to get him through the rest of today, tonight’s party, and sleep clothes for tonight…so he at least had the option to change though a part of his mind doubted he would be functional enough to by the time they got home. He also packed day clothes for tomorrow, clothes for practice which included extra shirts cause he often sweated through his…plus he wanted a clean shirt at least for the Olympus party, and then clothes for the next day since he assumed the night clothes were in the same boat. Then obviously underwear, socks, water bottles for practice, toothbrush, skin care, his meds….honestly it was a miracle he managed to fit their boba in his bag without them risking exploding. But what was even more miraculous was how he managed to balance himself with this bag on his motorcycle on the freeway riding to Michie’s place. Well, the place her family owned…if it was her place then there wouldn’t have been any need for him to mount his cellphone to his bike’s dash to watch Maps for directions.
It was so good having a manager again. Earlier this year, Michie’s schedule didn’t merit needing one. It didn’t even merit an assistant. Between moving to a completely different country and then lacking any inspiration or motivation to commit to any sort of lifestyle, she found herself often with too much time in her hands and very little idea what to do to fill it. Now though, nearly seven months since moving to the states, she suddenly found herself rather busy and with a great need to ensure she never double book or over schedule herself.
Abby stood near the open window, cellphone permanently gripped in her hand as she spoke to another manager on site. Even without overhearing the conversation, Michie knew that they were probably looking into scheduling the next recording and filming. After this filming day, she had two more to complete.
Not that Michie minded. In fact, from the moment she agreed to this schedule, she hadn’t once thought of this as a job. The truth was that she had missed this. She missed singing in front of the camera.
For the remainder of the month, Michie would be working on a collaboration with Nany, a popular local artist. They’re scheduled to record and film a couple cover videos for her YouTube channel as well as a handful of videos for their social media pages. Michie had been beyond thrilled when Abby approached her with the proposal. Nany was one of the first artists she grew to love after moving to California. First off, her music style fit her vibe and it was very easy to sing along and enjoy her music. Second, if there was anyone that she could collaborate with to restart her career back in music, she would 100% pick her. It didn’t matter to Michie that Nany’s popularity was still on the rise and focused mostly in California. What mattered was that she worked with someone she knew was going to be a pleasure to work it from beginning to end.
As their managers worked out the rest of their scheduling for the remainder of their recording and filming, Michie and Nany were sitting by the grand piano practically in a fit of giggles. They had just finished their final take for the video that would be going up on Nany’s YouTube channel. In truth, the final take wasn’t necessary, but videographers often wanted extra takes to work with. But between the two, they knew that the last take would probably not be used. For the entire take, they had been fighting back laughs after Michie cracked in the middle of singing along to their recorded track.
The rest of the recording day took another couple hours to complete. As the crew moved about the rented space to clear out the equipment and clean up the area, Michie stood against the wall with Nany as they both looked over their calendars to see what their finalized schedules looked like for the rest of recording.
“I already spoke to David about renting out one of the rooms to rehearse,” Michie explained, her English accent thicker than usual after having spent hours singing.
Nany giggled. “Sure, sounds good! I haven’t visited OLYMPUS in a while, so it’s going to be great seeing David again.”
Nany had been on the OLYMPUS dance team a couple years ago before the studio had to close for lockdown. While on the team, she was a part of the 9 Muses sub-group. However, when the studio reopened, she was one of the handful of members that decided not to return to the team. She reasoned that her music had priority, but that she would always be so supportive of the studio and the team whenever she had the time.
“I’m sure KC is going to try to work out some way to get you back on the OLYMPUS social media accounts,” Michie joked as they followed behind their managers out of the venue. “He’s hinted at the idea of filming some TikToks while you’re there.”
After a few more rounds of hugs and goodbyes, Michie watched as Nany and her manager climbed into her car and drove off. Soon after though, a large black SUV with tinted windows pulled up right in front of her. A tall Korean man with broad shoulders stepped out of the driver’s side and took five giant steps around the car to open her door.
“Before we go to the condo, we need to pick up an order I placed that’s ready today.” As she explained this, she handed her phone over to her driver to show him the address of the party supply store. “I will also probably need help getting everything in the car.”
By everything, she meant twenty-one confetti and solid colored balloons, four champagne shaped balloons, two “Happy Birthday” balloons, one “2” shaped balloon and one “1” shaped balloon. In addition to the large balloon order, she picked up a packet of “Birthday” themed confetti, a pack of “Happy Birthday” party hats and disposable shot glasses. The shot glasses she would be needing for later tonight.
It was a good thing that she had such a busy schedule all morning. If she hadn’t, she would likely be flying around with excitement over the fact that it was Haru’s birthday today. As his noona, she had taken on the liberty of planning out his special day. After all, you only turn 21 once. A part of the planning included a back and forth with OLYMPUS’s director, David, because he insisted the team celebrate Haru’s birthday party on his actual birthday. Michie, on the other hand, practically begged that the party be the following day after practice. She had no shame using Haru’s overprotective parents to drive home her point. In the end, Michie won. The only condition she needed to fulfill was to ensure that soju remained strictly an OLYMPUS thing for tomorrow night’s party. That, she was sure, was something she could obey without too much issue.
By the time they pulled into the private underground parking lot of a high rise building in Downtown LA, Michie was already jumping in her seat with eager excitement. She was so excited, in fact, that she often struggled to respond promptly to Haru’s texts throughout the day. Hell, she hadn’t even found the time or the moment to just sit down and breathe long enough to greet him. In her defense, she reasoned that would have plenty of time and opportunity to do that once he arrived later after his shift.
Part of Michie’s birthday plans for Haru’s 21st was the ability to give him a place where he could simply enjoy his big day. AKA a place for him to crash after getting so drunk it would give his mother a heart attack. She was very much aware of how often his parents—his mother in particular—could come off as overbearing. Don’t get her wrong, she understood the worry. But at the same time, she couldn’t understand not trusting their own son to know his own limits. She could only imagine what would happen if he returned home late at night incredibly drunk and barely staying on his feet. The last thing she wanted was to risk the possibility of him being put in his own personal lockdown.
So, after a long discussion with his mother over the plans and schedules of the next few days, Michie was “allowed” to have Haru over at her place for the rest of his birthday week. She tried real hard not to roll her eyes that she was “allowed” to do anything. That was the fastest way to get that privilege revoked. Instead, she focused on the next order of business in her long list of plans and preparations for Haru’s birthday.
Instead of hosting him at her younger brother’s house where she was currently living, Michie asked permission from her older brother to borrow one of his condos downtown. He had a decent handful of luxury condominiums throughout California that he utilizes for business trips. And luckily for her, he was still stuck in London and thus in no need for the one he owned in Los Angeles.
When Michie stepped off the elevator that stopped at the first floor lobby of the building, she found her future sister-in-law, Raena, waiting for her on one of the too comfy lounge seats. She roped in Raena to help set up the birthday decorations before Haru came over later.
“Wow, unnie! I think you might have gone a little overboard on the balloons. Don’t you think so?” Raena commented with wide eyes as she took in the assortment of balloons Michie’s driver was helping carry.
Michie raised a curious brow at her then also looked at them. “To be honest, I almost ordered double this,” she said with a shrug. Before Raena could respond back, she walked over to the front desk security guard to let him know that she would be having a guest over during her stay. After providing Haru’s information, she then asked where they would like him to park upon his arrival so that she could forward that information to him once he was on the way.
When they first arrived at the property, she noticed immediately that it had been cleaned and fully stocked. For someone that was supposed to take over their family’s company in the near—or distant if their father is to be believed—future, Noah Kim sure had a bad habit of not keeping her up to speed on his decision making. It was a good thing she hadn’t stopped off at Trader Joe’s after picking up the decorations to buy groceries. So for the rest of the afternoon, she and Raena worked diligently to set up all of the decorations throughout the living room and entertainment area.
“By the way,” Michie said suddenly as she sprinkled the birthday confetti all across the top of the table cloth on the dining table. “You and Nathan better not have made plans tonight. I know that brat was hoping I would have enough people going, but Haru and Gail told me that Nico is no longer going tonight so you two have no excuse anymore.” While Raena was always game for a night at a noraebang, Michie had been struggling to convince her younger brother, Nathan, to go as well. She didn’t understand the hesitation, honestly. Firstly, his fiance had him practically wrapped around her perfectly manicured little pinky. One word of excitement from her about wanting to spend a night doing nonstop karaoke, he was ready and willing to fulfill her desire. Secondly, didn’t he and Haru have some silly little rivalry going on since OLYMPUS? Surely that would have fueled him to want to go.
Well, now he had no choice. She already paid in advance for the number of heads that were attending. Even then, she was more than ready to drop the money on the extra fee to add more people. Nathan was just being his usual bratty little brother self, making her life complicated.
After the two women finished decorating the condo, Michie said her goodbyes to Raena and made her promise to drag Nathan tonight to the party. Raena may have left the condo laughing at the insistence, but even Michie knew that her future sister-in-law was aware that she was dead serious. Both she and her baby brother were more than aware that she would cause them hell if they went against her wishes. After all, they were still younger than her and thus had to do as she said.
Michie didn’t have to wait too long after decorating the place before Haru notified her that he was off work and on the way. Her stomach flipped with pure excitement and uncontrollable eagerness. She just couldn’t wait for Haru to arrive to see all that she had planned out for him today.
In the minutes it took Haru to drink his motorcycle to Downtown, Michie was practically pacing the entire living room area. Every so often, she would walk over to a bundle of balloons to check that they were still…well…floating, but she was more so doing it so that she could have something to do with her hands. Her impatience truly was running so thin and quickly. Not even five minutes into waiting for Haru to arrive she contemplated asking for his ETA…as if she wasn’t already tracking his location on her phone.
In the end, Michie wasn’t even near her phone when Haru finally arrived. She had been preparing his guest bedroom and left her phone on the coffee table in the living room in an attempt to keep herself preoccupied instead of staring at the screen the whole time. Instead of seeing his text that he arrived and parked in the spot he was instructed to park at, her first and only indication that he arrived was the echoing chime from the doorbell. Her ears immediately perked up and without even detouring to the living room ran straight to the front door.
“Happy birthday, dongsaeng!” she greeted the instant the door was wide open. She didn’t even wait for him to step inside, instead stepping out into the hallway to wrap her arms tightly around his neck. He said something to her, but honestly she was so consumed with happiness that they could finally celebrate his birthday together that she hadn’t heard a single word he said.
It wasn’t until she finally released him from her bear hug that she registered just what was in front of her. “Yah! Baek Haru! You didn’t have to bring boba today!” Despite her attempt at a lecture, Michie was grinning from ear to ear at the sight of the bag carrying their drinks. She could already tell which one was Haru’s and was even more excited to see that the drink he brought today for her was an experimental one. Even though she had her usual at the boba shop Haru worked at, she was always willing to try something new to broaden her palette. As her unofficial boba connoisseur, she trusted him wholeheartedly to pick out drink combinations that would fit all of her preferences.
“Come in! Come in! Come in! Hurry! You have to see what I prepared for you!” Her eagerness was quick to return. She was practically hopping as she took the bag of their drinks and led him inside the condo.
She first stopped in the entryway, moving to press her back against the wall so that he could look at the “Happy Birthday” banner she and Raena hung just short of the living room area. To either side of the banner were a small bundle of balloons that matched the color of the banner accented with a couple confetti balloons. If there was any way for her grin to be any bigger, she likely succeeded.
“Wait wait wait I need to take a picture to document this! For all we know, this will be the only time you’ll be documented sober.” With a giggle, she rushed over to the living room to pick up her phone. Before she returned to the entryway though, she dropped off the drinks on the kitchen island. All of this happening before Haru could even dare walk away from the set up to drop off his own things.
As she returned to her previous spot, she flipped open her KA phone and swiped to the camera. A couple lighting and angle adjustments and instructions on how to pose later, Michie was taking shot after shot of photos of Haru standing under his birthday arch.
“Okay, come on! We have more photos we needa take!” Michie instructed. But just before she could walk past to show him the rest of the decorations, she felt her wrist being grabbed and tugged back. Everything that happened after was a total blur. One moment she was facing the rest of the condo and the next, she saw her own face reflected on the selfie camera of her own phone. When the hell did Haru grab her phone? Or…better yet…when had he maneuvered his arm around her waist and pulled her to his side? Before she could even ask though, he had instructed her to smile and without thinking, she complied. Even going so far as to rest her head on his chest.
Once they were finished taking photos at the other parts of the condo that was decorated, Michie gave him a quick tour of the rest of the place before ending it at the guest bedroom he would be using. “While you’re in there, go ahead and get dressed! We’re going somewhere before you have to meet your parents for dinner.” She left him to do his own thing, walking down the hall to the other guest bedroom she would be using. She had contemplated using the master bedroom during her stay, but honestly, she couldn’t get the image of her brother using the room out of her head enough to feel comfortable.
Michie took this time to get dressed as well. Her outfit for Haru’s birthday evening was a short, white halter dress with floral outlines all around. She paired the dress with a pair of brown thigh high heeled boots and silver jewelry. She contemplated whether or not to put on makeup considering their plans weren’t until later tonight. In the end, she decided to put on makeup and if need be she can retouch it later.
“You’re done getting dressed already?” Shocked, Michie walked into the living room and approached Haru who was currently sitting on the couch. Haru stood as she got closer and Michie found herself unable to look away. Was she staring? Not really. Possibly. She was simply taking in his outfit for today. Considering she typically saw Haru dressed in either his work uniform, his riding gear or baggy practice clothes, to see him dressed well was a nice change to the norm. “Wow, dongsaeng! So you can dress up when necessary!”
It was only natural for them to take more photos together with the decorations now that they were all dressed up. At that point, especially because Haru was insisting that she be in almost all of his photos, she pulled out her tripod to keep her phone propped up and utilized her KA smartwatch as a remote to take the photos.
When they finished taking pictures at every corner of the condo that was decorated, Michie was eager for them to get going. She was practically pushing him back to the entryway. “We don’t have much time! Your mom is going to kill me if I make you late so we need to go now!”
Luckily for Michie, the place she wanted to go was only down the street from their building. Although the setting sun was still out providing some light, the high rise buildings surrounding them blocked out most of it. Every so often, there would be teases of sunlight peeking between buildings, but had she not known better, she would have thought it was already evening.
With her arm wrapped around Haru’s, Michie led them to the bar across the street. It was one of those bars that was more on the classier side, with a bouncer dressed in a perfectly tailored suit and typically had a list on hand. Michie wasn’t too worried about getting in. After all, it was still too early for people to be out getting drinks and the line getting into the bar was only three parties long. When they approached said bouncer in a perfectly tailored suit, he was still in a friendly enough mood to even extend a birthday greeting to Haru as he returned their IDs. By then, Michie was practically giggling and squealing with glee that they were finally able to enter a bar together.
“Okay!” she started, scoping out an empty table for them. “Remember, you promised me! Your first legal drink is on me!” Of course, what Haru was probably not yet aware of was the fact that she was most likely going to be paying for nearly all of his drinks tonight.
Instead of wasting time looking for a table first, Michie decided to put Haru on table scouting duty as she led them over to the bar. Just like the bouncer outside, the bartender was still in the early stages of her shift that she was friendly enough to socialize with. As a result of Michie’s overall charm, by the time she mentioned that they came to celebrate Haru’s birthday, the bartender had insisted that their first shot was on the house.
So, with two shot glasses full of clear liquid on hand, Michie turned to smile brightly at Haru and raised her glass to him. In her other hand, her phone was extended out so that both of them would be in the camera frame. She wanted to record this momentous moment that she felt fortunate to share with the birthday boy. “Happy birthday, dongsaeng!” She clinked her glass against his and immediately shot back the burning liquid in one gulp.
HARU (ENGLISH)tabHARU (KOREAN)tabOTHERS (ENGLISH)tabOTHERS (KOREAN)
While sitting in what would be his room for the next few days, Haru could already feel the effect his noona had on him taking hold. His poor little heart was fluttering with an extra beat brought on by the butterflies in his stomach. He had thought he was over this. Not over his noona of course, god no—never. But that their forced close proximity when she first joined OLYMPUS had taken the edge off the years of feelings he had developed for her. He had been so sure he had everything under control and that they had reached a point in their friendship where he was comfortable to fully drop his guard and not be second guessing himself. It wasn't that Michie made him nervous…okay well sort of…but it was a cute crush type of nervous! She made him nervous in the sense that it made him do silly things without thinking them through. Like how he had grabbed her back in the entry for that first photo together. And honestly even just thinking back to that moment—and then combined with seeing just how all out she had gone for his birthday with the decorations—sent a light pink flush to Haru’s cheeks and pulled a soft cough from him as he cleared his throat.
His duffle bag sat unzipped on the floor in front of him, Haru himself sat shirtless on the edge of the bed. He had been in the process of changing out of his biker gear and into his outfit for tonight when he became aware of the increasing pace of his heart and took a seat to evaluate. Haru otherwise felt fine, so he was pretty confident in ruling out the possibility that he was about to have an episode and crash. He had wondered if maybe something about his struggle to squeeze his built arms and torso out of his leather clothes had caused his body to panic? But no, it hadn’t taken him long to recognize that what he was experiencing was a feeling rather than a symptom. That his noona had such a hold over him he was as happy as a puppy in a ball pit just being around her.
It wasn’t like this was their first time hanging out alone, but this was his first time celebrating his birthday with her and that just made everything oh so extra special today. And that would be why Haru took an additional couple minutes after he finished getting dressed to stand in front of the full length mirror and fix up every detail of his appearance when normally he was fairly nonchalant so long as he didn’t look a mess.
Haru fluffed his hair, tucked the front of his shirt and rolled his sleeves to better show his tattooed arm; the whole time his lips and tongue fiddled with the rings pierced through the lower right side as he tried to banish his nerves.
Nerves that of course immediately skyrocketed back up after he had returned to the living area and watched Michie approach in her dress and hearing her tease him with a compliment. Nerves that settled back down throughout their birthday photoshoot, only to return as she wrapped around his arm on their walk to the bar. Nerves that peaked while he stood silently as Michie conversed in English with the bartender and it fully dawned on him that she was essentially giving him the birthday of his dreams simply by being there with him. And nerves that would very quickly be vanquished, drowned by tonight’s theme: drinking for his 21st.
Haru was no stranger to alcohol, but his experience didn't make the first shot any easier to take. At home he mostly drank things he could sip over a period of time, and with the team in the safety of the studio or someone’s house, he was guilty of choosing fun flavored soju over harder liquors when given the option. But between their now empty shot glasses and the gleam in Michie’s eyes, Haru knew his noona had it in for him tonight and he could only imagine what was in store tomorrow once the entire team was included in his birthday celebrations.
For now he just needed to ensure he kept it together and didn’t get carried away long enough so that he could make it through dinner with his parents. The look his mom would give him if he were to show up drunk…and then the lecture that would surely follow back at home later…as much as he didn’t want to care about his parents’ opinions he wasn’t exactly in a position to have that much freedom. So as excited as he was to be out at the bar with Michie, he needed to take it easy and start off the night slow if he wanted to make it through dinner without causing a scene.
By the time they were back at the condo, Haru could definitely feel that they had been drinking but he also still felt perfectly capable of being his normal sober self. He wasn’t yet under the influence of his birthday drinks, more so comfortable and relaxed. Those pesky nerves from earlier were gone and had taken all his usual worries and stress with them. He felt great. Here he was on a staycation with his noona, boba and his pre-dinner appetizers on the coffee table, songs from OLYMPUS’ current set list playing off his phone through the speakers in the room, his noona was sitting on the sofa and he was in the middle of the room marking the dance to every song that came on.
”Noona~” Someone had once pointed out how he frequently called for people’s attention rather than speaking to them directly. Initially it made Haru really self conscious about it, but he had obviously gotten over that brief insecurity as his habit had yet to be crushed, ”Do you wanna go to the gym together tomorrow?”
Normally he would have gone today after work but obviously he was out celebrating his birthday instead. There was a pause of silence following his question while Michie took a micro moment to mull over his question. “Yeah sure, if you still feel up for it,” Was she just humoring him? No, Michie was one of the few who took him seriously and respected his choices. But there was still something in her voice that gave off a sense she wasn’t just referring to his illness as being the deciding factor in whether or not they would go to the gym, but rather something that he wasn't aware of yet. Like just how drunk he would be by the time they got back tonight.
But the sudden ringing of his phone over the speaker system pulled his attention away before he could ask Michie what she meant. Part of Haru wanted to just press ignore so he could resume dancing, but there were few people who called him and his parents were part of that few.
Sure enough as he walked back over to the coffee table he could see his mom’s caller id across his phone. Haru made sure to disconnect the bluetooth connection before answering so that his call wouldn’t be broadcasted through the speakers, ”Mm, Eomma?”
She was calling just to tell him that she and his dad would be leaving soon to meet him at the sushi restaurant for dinner. A call that could have just been a text but he knew his parents preferred calls and speaking in person, it was a generational gap he had long given up on bridging. While she spoke Haru had picked up his boba and taken a drink, but the cold tickled his throat into triggering a cough which in turn shifted his mom’s focus onto him. This time though, Haru was much more patient with her compared to earlier that morning. This time he hadn’t just woken up, and also now he had some alcohol swimming through his system to take off the edge of his usual frustrations and allowing him to relax and chill out even as his mom started a game of twenty questions. She was asking if he had forgotten anything, if he needed anything, if Michie had everything he needed. And if she and his dad should bring anything to dinner for him that he would need while staying with Michie, like his humidifier, or any of his stronger medications.
At this point Haru had already walked away to take the remainder of his phone call in the privacy of the guest room he was staying in. It took a good few minutes to talk his mom down and convince her he was in fact okay. It wasn’t like his coughing was at all surprising. She had no reason to be overreacting the way she was considering he literally lived at home and she knew his normal from his not. But she was still concerned nonetheless and Haru sat on his bed again for as long as it took to reassure her until he was mirroring her goodbyes and I love yous before hanging up the call at last.
”Noona!” Despite calling out to her, Haru was already on his way back after exiting his room, ”Are you bringing a bag?” As he approached where she still sat on the couch he held up a tiny toiletry style bag and waved it slightly in the air, ”Can you hold this?” It was about the size of a small coin purse but slightly bulky as the contents weren’t exactly smooth or flat. Inside was a little pill organizer with separate compartments for all his meds. Each one was labeled as there had been too many occasions that he was unable to speak to explain which one was which. That was compact enough, but the bulky part came from his inhaler.
Most likely nothing would happen and he wouldn’t need his emergency meds tonight. It was only March, so he had decent weather on his side. It wouldn't be too hot to overheat him nor would it be too cold to make it hard to breathe. But they were going out to sing and that was literally the very thing that had triggered his illness to surface in the first place.
He would definitely be needing his inhaler to take after dinner on their way to noraebang, but everything else was a little more “just in case”. A security blanket to help assure his mom everyone that they would be prepared for anything. But realistically if he had an episode while they were out, none of those pills would help because he would just choke trying to swallow them. They would need to catch the signs and symptoms early on for any of his meds to make a difference, but considering they were going to be drinking…the likelihood of catching it early enough was slim at best. But if something did happen while they were out, some of his meds would make all the difference in helping him afterwards during recovery, and that made them worth bringing.
He had painkillers and anti-nausea pills that always helped following an attack considering how physically taxing it could be on his body. Anxiety medications to help calm him and pills to force his heart rate to slow down. Glucose tablets and electrolytes, even though he typically only used those at practice or shows, they were still in his emergency kit anyways. He had allergy meds and decongestants too, but other medications such as sleep aids and his daily steroids would be left here at the condo. The only thing was that he was fairly certain that the majority of his medications were not supposed to be mixed with alcohol so likely he wouldn't be able to take any of them tonight anyways, but it was still safer to bring them than to not.
It was only about an hour later that Haru was dropped off at the restaurant and he went inside to find his parents waiting for him in the entry, ”There he is!” His dad raised his hand to wave him over, as though Haru hadn’t already seen his parents standing near the host guest desk.
Once they were seated Haru shared how his birthday had been so far and how excited he was to see his friends after dinner. His mom gushed over how fast he had grown up and how handsome he had become. His dad expressed similar sentiments of being proud of him and for staying true to himself and following his passions—after all his parents had done just the same in moving to the states for their love of their careers. It was finally a normal family dinner, and Haru could feel his heart holding strong and steady as though he was normal himself.
They ordered for him when the waiter came by, because while it was one thing to speak in English at work or the studio, the pressure of being in the spotlight while ordering was still a lot for him. He would have turned into a baby deer in headlights and stumbled through his pronunciation even if he knew exactly what to say. And while he knew his parents wanted him to practice his English, he was thankful that at least on his birthday they let him off the hook.
Truthfully Haru hadn’t really wanted to come to dinner tonight, but his only reasoning had been that he wanted to stay with his noona. But Michie had been the one to remind him that he owed his parents this dinner in exchange for them allowing him to spend the rest of his birthday week with her. The longer they sat and ate though the more Haru found himself enjoying this and even questioning himself as to why he hadn’t wanted to come in the first place. He loved sushi. And he loved his parents. And they all got along so great as a family. He knew he was lucky to have such a good relationship with his parents as he knew that many others did not.
It was a little more than halfway through both dinner and the beer his dad had ordered for him and Haru had reached a point of relaxation that he lost his usual body awareness. As such a couple of coughs escaped before he could even think to try and stop them. “You've been coughing a lot lately,”And there it was. The reasoning he had hidden from himself when he had wondered why he originally didn’t want to come. Haru paused, his chopsticks still hovering over the roll he had been about to pick up while his eyes glanced across the table to meet his mom’s worried gaze. But before he could even process a realistic argument to defend himself with and assure her that he was okay, she had already continued on to ask when he had last seen his doctor.
His silence continued, his lips rotating his rings in mild irritation as he tried to think back to when he had last been seen by a medical professional. He honestly couldn't remember right now and the buzz from the handful of drinks he’d already had since the bar with Michie till now left him very unmotivated to try and think any harder. So he just offered a vague shrug, and tried to muffle another cough before returning his attention to the sushi in front of him. How many times today alone had his mom asked him something about his health? He understood she was his mom and she was concerned, but it was getting really irritating answering the same questions with the same answers over and over again.
Luckily the moment hadn’t been enough to ruin dinner for him, but there was no denying how he lit up as the bill was paid and it was time to leave. As soon as he was outside, Haru immediately recognized the black car parked as close to the restaurant as possible but as much as he wanted to just say goodnight to his parents and skip over to the car, Michie beat him to it. She got out of the car and came over to properly greet his parents before kidnapping their son for most of the week. She looked so natural talking with his mom and Haru just shifted his weight between his feet as he watched and waited. She honestly looked amazing, and perfect, and—but Haru interrupted with another tiny set of coughs when a passerby's’ cigarette smoke reached him. He had managed to turn inward and muffle most of his coughs this time, but there was no escaping his mom’s bat ears and eagle vision.
”Haru….I’m going to schedule you an appointment.” ”Eomma…I’m fine…” He had pulled his facemask out of his pocket to put back on for however much longer they were going to be standing outside. And also to help combat whatever worries his mom was going to berate him with now. ”You sound worse than this morning—do you have a jacket??”
A jacket? For Haru?? Well, it wasn’t that crazy a concept considering how weak he was against the cold. But they were going out to drink and Haru’s temperature sensitivity also made him the king of overheating. He was fairly confident he would not be needing a jacket, besides it's not like his parents had one in the car or could realistically go back home to get him one. Luckily for Haru, Michie intervened to assure his mom that they would be inside the entire night and the only time outside would be the walk between the car and the entrance of the building.
It was such a relief when they finally got back into Michie’s car and the black tinted windows gave Haru a much needed barrier between him and the rest of the world. A soft sigh escaped as he unhooked the loops from his mask around his ears and relaxed into his seat while Michie confirmed with their driver that he had the correct address.
“Noona,” Haru softly cleared his throat to be ready to speak while he once again waited till Michie had looked over from her phone and he knew he had her full attention, “Can I have my inhaler?” His hand extended ever so slightly in preparation to take it while she didn't miss a beat in reaching for her clutch to pull out his medication.
It was a little wild to look back on their relationship friendship between now and even just a handful of months ago. He was sick, and while not everyone knew the specifics, the basic knowledge was still public information. His medical hiatus from BOMB and the kpop industry had been announced years ago informing anyone who looked him up that he was sick. But still when Michie had shown up in OLYMPUS’ studio he had tried so hard for so long to hide it from her. His longtime crush had overridden all logic and rational thought. and he had definitely gotten into some sticky situations in his efforts to appear normal to her, but it didn't take long for the truth to come out between them. And then before he knew it it was no longer a big deal anymore. Sure he didn't like when he was sick around her, and sure he would still make efforts to downplay the severity…but he did that with everyone. He just didn't want them to worry. But somewhere along the lines he had dropped his guard with Michie. She had experienced his bad days enough times at practice that he now trusted her to carry his medications. He had let her meet his controlling, overbearing parents and she even talked them into letting him go out for his birthday! So asking for and using his inhaler in front of her no longer phased him. And while he certainly didn’t want to have an episode attack or pass out in front of her, Haru wasn’t as scared of that possibility anymore. He felt safe with Michie, and he trusted that while sure she worried and cared for him, she wasn’t going to smother him with concern the way so many did once they found out just how sick he actually was.
After taking his two puffs of medication and waiting a second to hold his breath after each one, Haru passed his inhaler back for safe keeping. He couldn’t hold back the slight scrunch of his features as the aftertaste of his medication settled into the back of his throat. Too bad he had finished his boba before dinner, he would have loved to be able to wash down the bitterness from his inhaler.
”What's the place called again?” Haru wasn’t an idiot, he knew better than to sweep his illness under a rug and pretend it wasn’t there. But in an instance like this where he wasn’t in any pain or danger, he just wanted to move on and not spend any more time on it. His mom had already brought it up multiple times today, the last thing he wanted was for his noona to ask too, so Haru was quick to shift the center of attention back to tonight’s main event: his birthday. And he pulled out his phone intending to look the place up and preview the menu before they got there.
“Do you think they’ll have BOMB?”
He had never truly gotten over his forced exit from the kpop group he had debuted with, BOMB. For a long time he had desperately clung to the fact it had been announced as a hiatus, implying he could come back. And while Haru had since accepted that at this point he would never return, it was still hard to completely let it go when being a kpop idol had been his dream for almost as long as he could remember. Especially watching as BOMB rose in popularity and success in Korea while Haru was here in the states doing everything he could just trying to stay afloat with his body fighting against him every single day. ”I haven’t been to karaoke in so long~”
Gail had lost track of time as she sat cross legged on her couch with her head the only part of her body actively moving. Well, it was more so her eyes actually. She was not known as someone that could sit still for as long as she had. In fact, most people that knew Gail would often worry if she ever sat still for this long. And yet, here she was—alone in her dreaded apartment sitting completely still on her equally dreaded couch.
It was all thanks to the unbearably adorable baby boy zooming across the living room like this was the extent of his entire world.
She had finally made some progress since she brought the orange Scottish fold home with her a week ago. After countless YouTube videos and the internet spying on her activity enough to influence her TikTok algorithm, she thought she was prepared enough to help the baby boy—he was actually three, but still a baby in her eyes—become more comfortable with his new home. Today was the first day that he felt comfortable enough to zoom around the rather large living room space instead of his previous activity of slinking and sniffing around.
Gail, for the most part, tried her best to stay out of his way. She would often either sit on the very same spot on her couch while he explored, or at the dining table. In either spot, she kept her mouth shut as much as possible and let him explore. She didn’t want to risk any fuck ups in the one week she had before she needed to introduce the baby boy to her best friend.
“Oh…I sure hope you two get along…” she muttered under her breath after she tossed his toy mouse across the room. “Maybe I should have told Nico about you…”
On par for the course that was Gail’s life and personality, bringing an orange Scottish fold kitty home was the most spur of the moment decision she could possibly make. But, hear her out, at the time she felt that the decision was validated. With Nico gone for his performance for a whole week, Gail’s apartment felt too empty. This is not to say that she wasn’t used to being alone in her own apartment. In fact, she had spent many months being the only occupant in the large space. However, that didn’t stop the thoughts from caving in on her as she thought about her best friend being on the other side of the country and not in the next room.
One lonely thought led to another and the next thing Gail knew, she walked into the animal shelter with her phone opened to their website and a picture of an adorable baby boy taking up the entirety of the screen. He came home with her the very next day.
Gail honestly had no idea why she didn’t tell Nico about the new addition to her home. Her go to excuse for the entire week as she was busy acclimating him to the space was that she wanted to surprise Nico. After all, who wouldn’t want to be surprised by the cutest, goodest boy in all the planet? But…it wasn’t like she didn’t keep in contact with Nico the whole time he was gone. She took nearly daily Facetime calls in her living room or at the dining table—these were during the days she kept her new baby boy in her bedroom to start off his adjustment to her home—she could have told him during any of these calls. And yet…never uttered a single word or utilized the kitty’s unlimited cuteness to maintain their Snapchat Streak.
Once the kitty showed signs that he was growing more comfortable with the open space, Gail abandoned her post at the couch to continue with the rest of the day. She honestly didn’t have much time though. Having spent nearly all morning observing her new kitty explore the rest of the living room area, she hadn’t gotten much done since. In fact, her abandoned coffee mug was still sitting on the Nespresso machine with the pod she loaded still visible. Her grumbling stomach also indicated that she had apparently forgotten about making breakfast as well.
“I’m thinking of getting you a timed feeder. Do you think it’s a good idea or should I wait until you are more trained?” She looked in the direction of the gentle jingle sounds coming from the rather large cat tree resting against the window. Of course, the overly energetic kitty was too busy playing with one of the toy attachments to pay attention to her. Not that he actually understood what she was saying in the first place. But, honestly, in the one week since she brought him home, it had been difficult for her not to talk to him when she was voicing her thoughts out loud. After all, half of these thoughts were about making sure he had the most spoiled life in his new home.
“Hm…maybe I should do more research on that before I commit. You still haven’t decided on a food brand you like.”
This was how the rest of the morning going into the early afternoon went for Gail. When she wasn’t watching her new baby boy like an overbearing mama bear making sure he didn’t go into places he wasn’t supposed to, she was browsing Amazon and cat blogs for more recommendations on how to make a newly adopted cat comfortable.
She was, of course, avoiding one of the first suggestions, that she give him a new name, While she was sure Chester was a lovely name, she would rather cut out her tongue than continue to use it for him.
For the entire week, she had been going around “calling” him TBN, pronounced “tuh-bun.” Obviously, she intended for it to not stick, but she was also struggling to think up any name that would work for her and the best boy that deserved the bestest name.
After what she deemed a very successful round of exploration in the living room, Gail brought TBN back to her bedroom so that they could spend some quality cuddle time in there before she had to leave to pick up Nico at the airport. This was so that her baby boy would feel less anxiety over her leaving him even for just an hour. Plus, all of his tried and true favorite toys were in her bedroom so he could keep himself plenty entertained and distracted while she was gone. It’s worked fairly well the last couple days when she had to go to class in the afternoon.
By the time Gail had to leave for the airport, TBN had actually fallen asleep on the floor surrounded by a clutter of his toys. She left a couple treats near him in case he woke up before tiptoeing out of her apartment.
Much to her surprise, there was not much traffic at LAX for a Tuesday afternoon. Yes, it was still congested at the entrance, but once she passed the first stop light into the airport, she found it easier than usual to find a spot at Nico’s terminal to pull in her Audi Q3 right in front of her awaiting bestie. The moment she caught sight of him through her tinted windows, her smile brightened to the widest grin. She was out of her car before the back door was fully open falling into his waiting arms.
During the drive back to her apartment, Gail decided to avoid the topic of Nico bailing out of Haru’s birthday celebrations tonight. Before he left for New York he had been all excited about going, even saying that it was one of his motivations to get him through the week-long trip. And yet here he was going back on his own ideas.
Not that Gail should be at all surprised. This wasn’t a rare occurrence for her best friend. Most people that knew Nico knew that he often backed out of many social gatherings. He has also skipped out on one too many OLYMPUS practices. He always gave what could be considered valid reasons, but there was no denying that the number of times this has happened was increasing recently. More often than not, Gail is the one people go to asking where Nico was or why Nico wasn’t around. They were nearly attached at the hip after all. But there was only so much defending Gail could do on her part when she parroted whatever reasoning he offered her before she arrived.
At least tonight she was all covered for him with Haru and Michie. Well, at least Haru. She had yet to hear from Michie whether or not she knew Nico had backed out. Not that she was at all surprised if she wasn’t aware yet. The last update she got from her older OLYMPUS sister was that she was setting up her place—or wherever it was she and Haru were staying that week—with birthday decorations. She never realized that girl could go all out like that.
Then again…Michie did have the money to go even further than whatever she was planning.
“Okay, soooo…” Gail leaned back against her seat after she turned off her car at her assigned parking spot. “I mayyyy have been keeping a secret from you this entire week. Not on purpose! It was just that I got real busy and real distracted and by the time we got to talk on the phone it would slip my mind.” She was rambling and she knew it.
There was a long silence between the two of them in her car as Nico patiently waited for her to continue. After letting out a nervous laugh, Gail shifted in her seat to fully face him. “I have a new roommate. He moved in a couple days after you left for New York and I’ve just been getting him used to the space. He basically lives rent free.”
Yes, she was fully aware of her last minute decision on making this a bit. It was very difficult for her to hide the giggle that wanted to escape.
“You are, of course, still more than welcome to stay the night! I just…wanted to make sure you were aware that when I leave later for Haru’s birthday thing, you were not going to have the whole place to yourself.”
Okay, she definitely knew she was being a little mean.
As she led the way up to her apartment, Gail tried to keep the atmosphere between them lighthearted. Granted she was limited on topics to discuss. During the car ride when she brought up New York and his performance last night, the air momentarily chilled and tensed before Nico brushed off the topic with his best efforts at satisfactory responses. It didn’t take her much effort to pick up on his body language that the trip was off limits for the time being.
Not that she blamed him. Based on the outburst from his mother the other day while they were on Facetime, even she could guess that New York was more than Nico had signed up for.
So what did that leave Gail to cling to as satisfactory topics of discussion? Well…it was a shaky one, but considering her continuous education in nursing and the lack of his mother present she wasn’t afraid to bring up, “I’m thinking of doing a late lunch today. I accidentally ate breakfast late so I just started to feel hungry. What are you feeling right now? I’m probably going to order DoorDash or something.”
The two best friends were shooting off food ideas as Gail unlocked the apartment door and opened it wide. The moment the apartment was in full view, all conversation about a late lunch died with the anticipation of the secret Gail revealed downstairs in her car.
“You got a cat?”
Gail could no longer contain her amusement. As she watched Nico take in the cat tree on the other side of the apartment space and toys still spread out across the living room floor, an amused smirk etched onto the corners of her lips as she walked past him to drop off his bag at the front of the door to the guest bedroom.
“Surprise! I got a cat!”
“He’s in my room right now. That’s why I’ve been lowkey distracted all week while you were gone. I’ve just been too busy getting him acclimated to his new home.” She walked around the living room picking up all of TBN’s toys and dropping them in the basket right beside his cat tree. “He very recently got used to the living room. Hence all his toys and the tree. But before that he spent all of his time in my room. I have yet to introduce him to the guest room, but he has been curious.”
As if suddenly aware of her return, meowing could be heard from the other side of her closed bedroom door followed by a peek of a paw stretching out from the gap under the door. Gail watched all of this with quiet amusement. “Don’t be fooled. He’s not clingy, just thinking it’s time to feed him.” She walked over to her bedroom door, resting her hand on the doorknob. “Do you want to meet him?”
“Oh! I should probably also mention!” She momentarily dropped her hand from the doorknob and turned to look at Nico again. “I haven’t decided on a name yet. The shelter called him Chester, but as we both know, I have an uncle who goes by that name and I just didn’t need that mental image. So for the time being, I’ve been calling him TBN.” She ignored the look Nico was giving her to slowly turn the knob and carefully push the door open.
TBN was all eyes on her the moment he poked his cute little head out of the bedroom. He continued to meow his command for food. But just as he took two steps out of the bedroom, it was obvious he clocked the extra human and froze. Suddenly, Gail was watching as both boys in her life stared at each other.
“He’s friendly for the most part. The shelter told me that he is a social boy and he has no problem with most people. Just, you know, get down to his level and let him get a good sniff or two.” As she explained this, she walked over to her dining table where she had left the goodie bag of souvenirs Nico brought back from New York for her. While Nico and TBN got to know each other, she peeked into the bag at the variety of things he got her. Immediately she pulled out the box of macarons he mentioned earlier, quick to pull the chocolate one out to try it. She would definitely have to remind herself to order lunch soon after or else this box would be completely finished.
After pushing the macarons a safe distance away from her, she dug into the bag once more and pulled out what she now knew was the main reason for the weight of the bag. It was one of those touristy New York mugs that could be found in any souvenir store. However, while most people went for the “I Love NY” designs, Nico picked out one that looked more like a motif of the state. All across the mug were nods to New York. From the Statue of Liberty and Brooklyn Bridge to more subtle representations of the other boroughs. She definitely loved the choice.
She continued to look through the rest of her gifts, making sure to organize them across the dining table. There were a couple of items from local artists that she was already dying to figure out where to put in the apartment—torn between the living room and her bedroom. This would definitely be something she and Nico could work together on either after they finished eating or when she got back from Haru’s birthday.
Just as she was about to fold up the now empty bag, Gail caught some subtle movement at the very bottom. It was definitely a blink and miss it moment had she not been looking at what she was doing. It didn’t help that the piece of paper was the same color as the bottom of the bag.
Curiosity immediately took over as she once more reached into the bag and pulled out the folded piece of paper with her name written on the front of the first fold.
However, as curious as she was at the moment, Gail also immediately felt a heavy weight to the piece of paper in her hand. Naturally, she recognized Nico’s handwriting. How often had he been given the responsibility of putting her name down on restaurant wait lists while she ventured for a parking spot? There was no denying that whatever was on this paper, it was for her from Nico. After that though, Gail struggled to fully commit to her curiosity and open up the paper. Deep down, she just knew there was more to this than she initially thought.
“Hey, Best?” she called out to Nico, turning in his direction. “Is it okay if I look at this now? Or would you rather I look at it at a more specific time?”
“I was only gone for a week and you really replaced me.”
But honestly a cat was perfect for Gail, and so while Nico feigned and teased jealousy over being replaced he was actually very happy for her. Now she wouldn’t be alone on the days he couldn’t be here. Or the days when he was no longer here…
As soon as Nico felt his darkness numbing his senses he tried to refocus all his attention onto the little cat. His chest felt so heavy and it threw him off balance with how empty his stomach was. He felt so top heavy and dizzy—like that he would fall over any second now. But in typical Nico fashion, he said nothing pertaining to how sick he was feeling and instead let himself lower to the floor. The floor was safe, the floor didn’t leave him swaying on his feet, and with the cat down here he now had the perfect excuse to sit until he got a better hold of himself.
“Why didn’t you tell me you got a cat? I would have gotten him something too!” Maybe sitting down wasn’t the best idea either. Nico was having a hard time now trying to keep his vision from blurring as his sleep deprivation so desperately begged for him to give in. At least standing he had to exert the strength and focus to stay upright. But if he were to faint…it would be better to do so from a closer distance to the floor.
TBN had approached by now and was rubbing his head into Nico’s hand. Then turning and body slamming his side into Nico’s hand and his tail latched on like static electricity. Clearly this cat knew what he liked and knew how to get what he wanted. Case in point: he had flopped to the floor and rolled around as though asking Nico to continue. But his hoodie sleeves kept eating his hands and making it hard to interact with TBN. So without realizing what he was doing, Nico pushed his sleeve up his arm, exposing skin that otherwise was only ever visible in the shower or covered by makeup for dance costumes.
The orange fur was so soft against his palm and it was on the verge of lulling Nico deeper into the sleepy state he was trying to escape from. So in his efforts to wake up he instigated play with TBN, running his hand down his soft kitty belly until he triggered a kicking response. He stopped briefly but when TBN’s front paws reached up towards him he took that as an indicator to keep going.
Gail called for his attention to ask about opening something but as Nico turned slightly to look up over his shoulder to her, his seemingly forever bruised and battered heart dropped into his stomach seeing his letter in her hand and a panic began to bubble in the acid his heart was sinking into.
”Oh….uhhh…ow—” In his distracted state TBN had kicked out too hard and Nico winced, his hand recoiled back towards his body he looked down at his forearm to see the faint beginning of a scratch surfacing on his skin. Despite the pain though, Nico’s mind was thoroughly preoccupied by the fact Gail had already found his letter and he was not at all prepared to handle this.
Was it too late to take it back? It would be a little weird to straight up ask for her to return it but maybe he could just take it in secret if he told her not to read it yet?
But he knew he shouldn’t, and that knowledge kept him locked in his internal panic for a second too long as he stared at the piece of paper in her hand. His own hand was pressed over where TBN had scratched him, but he honestly couldn’t feel the pain anymore. The only thing Nico was aware of was how fast the wheels in his head were turning as he tried to troubleshoot this situation he had gotten himself into regarding the letter he was regretting writing.
As Gail asked if he was okay, Nico let his sleeve drop back down to cover his arm and he reached back out to TBN for a last playful pat, ”I’m fine, it was my fault anyway.” His eyes closed momentarily to prevent the world from spinning as he pushed himself back up to his feet. The letter still in her hand haunted him though as he finally gave a contradictory answer to her earlier question, ”You could just open it later or something, it’s nothing really.”
”But um, I think I’m gonna go shower before we eat. I feel pretty gross from flying.”
While Nico moved to go figure out which of his identical duffle bags held his travel toiletries—which actually stayed here permanently with exception being when he traveled— Gail returned to the earlier topic of asking if he knew what he wanted to eat so she could order it while he was in the shower.
“Anything is fine, just get whatever you feel like eating.”
But that wasn't entirely true and Nico knew it. Normally he wasn't a picky eater, and he was usually down to try anything. But today between traveling for hours on end, not sleeping for even longer, and then his internal turmoil over that letter, Nico’s stomach was an anxious, nauseous mess right now and the last thing he needed was a heavy meal. But his earlier appetite while on the plane seemed to have disappeared for the time being, and he didn't have it in him to blatantly lie to her and say that he didn't want to eat. After all he wanted to eat, and he knew he should and needed to. He had literally been looking forward to coming home and getting lunch with Gail, but now he just had his mother’s voice on a loop in his head. And her voice was at war with his own going back and forth over what he was and wasn't allowed to do.
Like how he already had no intentions of showing up to practice tomorrow. But so if he wasn't going to dance then he shouldn't let himself eat too much because it would just sit with him till he was back in a studio the following day. But he also reasoned that he was a professional athlete taking on two separate dance careers, and he definitely hadn’t eaten enough to make up for and recover from everything he had done in New York.
But did he even deserve to eat? He had messed up his performance, and was skipping one of his best friend’s birthdays…starving himself felt like a satisfactory punishment for letting others down. He’d think of a way out of this during his shower. Like maybe when he got out later he could just say he was too tired and would eat later while Gail was at the party…
The familiar water pressure of Gail’s shower on his back felt so calming and relaxing compared to the hotel room he’d lived in for a week. But despite how nice it felt to wash off New York and all his traveling, Nico didn’t stay long in the shower. In fact he only really shampooed his hair and let the suds sort of double as body wash. Likely the number one contributor to his shorter than normal shower was the new line across his forearm.
At first the scratch from TBN hadn’t bothered him much. Sure it stung when the water hit it, but it was so thin and shallow, and it never really bled either. It was just red at surface level and formed a slightly raised swelling along it. He’d had worse before.
He’d done worse.
And those worse cuts were the wallpaper behind this new scratch. It was but a papercut compared to the deep scars that lined his forearm from his wrist to just above his elbow.
Nico’s hands were trembling as he picked up his toiletries bag to pull out the container of extra safety razor heads. But those tremors were the only sign he felt anything at all. He otherwise was numb, dissociating from his reality while he reasoned with himself that what he was doing was right.
He was starving, and he couldn’t ignore that fact any longer. But if he was going to splurge and eat something not on his approved foods list then he had to do this. He had decided that he would eat and take this physical punishment instead of starving himself.
He deserved this. For avoiding Haru’s birthday. For skipping practice. And for choosing to eat when he knew he wasn't supposed to.
The plastic to one of the spare razor heads was actually broken and just held in place by its little slot in the container. But as soon as Nico went to grab it the plastic framing fell away and gave him access to the blades themselves.
For the moment all rational thinking had left him. He was locked so deep in his head that his only awareness was the sharp pain as he slid a blade over his skin, tracing over the cat scratch perfectly as though it was a guideline to follow. And then came a warmth that started at his cut and then spread throughout his entire body and shrouded his mind in a heated fog. But the initial pain was quickly replaced first by a sense of relief and then immediately overwhelmed by a combination of guilt and grief. A sickening feeling crept through Nico as he processed the fact he had just cut himself here in Gail's apartment—in what was supposed to be his safe place and sanctuary from the rest of his life—while she was literally in the other room. And he had been doing so well too! Despite having brought his razors all the way to New York he hadn't hurt himself even once.
In fact it had been so long since he had cut his own skin, but it wasn’t because he hadn't felt the need to. It wasn’t because he had felt happy or healed just because he had managed to withhold from hurting himself, rather Nico had just been too scared. Scared that he would go too far again. Scared he would wake up in the hospital again. Scared that he would worry his friends—or worse yet—scared that they wouldn't care.
He didn't used to be so secretive or controlled by his depression, but over the past few years he had steadily closed himsed off more and more out of fear that one day he would find out that he didn't mean as much to someone as they did to him. At this point the only thing tying him to earth was the fear and guilt of hurting someone else if he were to take his own life…so if he were to find out one day that no one actually cared…then there would be nothing stopping him. His therapist had pointed out before that his avoidance and flaking on others was his attempt to distance himself and make them not care about him anymore so he would feel like he was able to go without fear of hurting anyone. And when he had countered that he was always the first to agree or volunteer for things, she explained that was the part of him that hadn't given up yet. Only he was hiding and using others as a shield instead of taking care of himself. He was supposed to be finding a balance and prioritizing himself more but he was clearly failing at that.
His phone ringing from the bathroom counter jolted him back into reality and after Nico released the blade in his hand he rushed over to gather tissues and press them over the bleeding cut in his arm. Then with a sharp inhale as he reminded himself he needed to breathe, Nico blindly slid his thumb across his phone to accept the call without even looking to see who it was, ”Hello?”
”…Neeks?”
His sister’s voice was one of the last he had expected to hear, especially considering he had just seen her a few days before he left for New York so that she could touch up his roots. It wasn’t like they didn’t talk or stay in contact, but typically they were more a once every 4-6 weeks catch up while she did his hair. So to hear from her again so soon without cause that he knew of caught him just a little by surprise.
”Hey…are you back in LA yet?”
Once upon a time ago before Gail came into his life, Maia had been the only one he trusted to share his location with. He had done so at her request for the year he lived with her, and at the time it had seemed fair. He had just tried to kill himself, if her one ask was that he share his location, that was easy enough in exchange for being allowed to recover living rent free under her roof. But after he moved out there had been one too many instances that he found out their parents were going to her to ask about his whereabouts. He trusted her…but ultimately he felt too trapped and so he panicked, revoking her access to his location and going off the grid. So now anytime she or the rest of his family wanted to check in on him they had to actually make the efforts to, and generally Maia was the only one to follow through, ”I heard you left before everyone else.”
”Yeah I’m back,” Nico paused, as though debating whether or not to offer up any further information, ”I’m at Gail’s.”
He could have sworn he heard her let out a sigh of relief, but Maia didn’t leave time for him to follow up with anything as she jumped straight into asking about his trip, and more specifically their parents' impact on it. She wanted to know if they had been singling him out at all, if they let him rest when he needed to, if they micromanaged him for the entire week. And ultimately she succeeded in pulling a rare confession from Nico as he admitted that he was tired of dancing for their parents.
It was a truth that she could understand all too well being that she had felt the very same and had left the ballet world for that very reason. The difference between them though, was that while ballet had been slowly killing Nico for many years, even if he couldn’t see it anymore there was no denying that everyone else around him knew his very soul embodied everything about it. Maia in particular would know considering he had lived with her during his break from dance. She had seen just how miserable he was without it in his life, but at this point it was a matter of which was the lesser of two evils? To not dance but not have a purpose or sense of self. To hole up in his room all day because he had no other skills or life experiences. Or to dance but have so much purpose it was literally crushing him to death.
”What if you give the medication another try? I think you were already in too deep before so it was hard to adjust, but maybe now you’d have an easier time…?”
He had tried once very briefly to go on antidepressants, but Nico had honestly been so scared of them and the possibility of negative side effects such as weight gain, that he didn’t take them for long. And when he had he was so inconsistent that they actually ended up making things worse for him and his already fragile mental state had crumbled.
Nico knew she was just trying to offer suggestions without straight up telling him what to do, but sitting in Gail's bathroom holding a wad of tissues to his arm was not exactly the best moment for him to be able to be receptive, ”I don’t want to.” ”Okay…” ”Listen, Mai—“ ”Have you eaten yet?”
Another subject Nico didn’t want to touch with a ten foot pole right now. But at the mention of it he was reminded of just how hungry he actually was. He hadn’t touched any of the snacks provided by the airline, so the last thing he ate must have been that half of a bagel he’d tried to eat on his way to the airport some eight or more hours ago. The part of Nico that his mother had brainwashed his entire life had no appetite despite feeling hungry. Especially after spending a week in New York with her, the personalized diets he’d always been forced into were extra ingrained in the front of his mind right now and nothing he actually wanted to eat fit into a category of approved foods. That bagel certainly hadn’t either so he already had a strike against him. But all of Gail’s lunch suggestions earlier had sounded so good…
”Nico…?”
How long had he been silent for that she needed to confirm he was still there and that the call hadn’t dropped? ”Sorry—“ ”Don’t be. You should probably go try and eat though. I think you’ll feel a little more yourself after you get something in you…maybe take a nap afterwards?” ”Okay,” Nico had never been much of a fighter. He let everyone speak their piece and would respond with vague blanket answers that neither agreed with nor rejected what the other had said.
He normally hated when anyone would try to have these types of conversations. It usually felt so forced and scripted, like the other person didn’t have a clue how to handle him and just spewed generic self care suggestions as though a candle lit bath with his phone off would suddenly heal years of deeply rooted self loathing and insecurities.
But with Maia it was different. Maia had been there with him each time he had ended up in the hospital. Maia had bandaged his arms and silently replaced shirts he had stained with blood. Maia had gone to multiple stores to find comfort foods for him until his brain allowed him to eat again after starving himself. And Maia had held him crying and apologizing for everyone else in his life that had contributed to his current state of mind. Maia had proven herself over and over and had earned her right to ask questions that he otherwise would have found invasive.
”I love you.”
Maia was one of the reasons he had been too scared lately to hurt himself or follow through with any attempts to give up for good. But it wasn’t because she had succeeded in convincing him of his own worth or anything motivational like that. Nico just felt too guilty at the thought of killing himself and knowing she would be absolutely distraught. And honestly that knowledge just made him feel even worse. He couldn’t do the one thing he truly wanted for himself because he cared too much about someone else.
His other reason was still in the living room when he finally emerged with his blonde hair damp from the shower, fresh bandaids he’d found under Gail’s sink were covered by a long sleeve shirt, and basketball shorts allowing his body to breathe and get air flow without exposing any scars higher up his legs.
“Sorryyyy, my sister called,” He didn't need to specify which one. After all, Maia was the only one he maintained a proper relationship with. He would have left the bathroom with much more energy and something along the lines of “Omg guess who just called me” if it had been Juliette. She only ever texted him for ballet things. She never would have called.
”Do you have more bandaids anywhere?” He could practically see her wanting to ask how bad his scratch was, but Nico didn’t pause to let her, ”I think I used the last ones? We might need to get more next Target run with TBN here now.”
He mentally apologized to TBN for using him as a deflection tool and passing the blame to him when Nico was all too aware that he had been the one to hurt himself and the cat scratch alone hadn’t been bad enough to merit a bandaid, let alone two. But honestly looking back at it all now, a small part of Nico couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t been able to find a full first aid kit in the bathroom. Wasn’t Gail a nursing student??
“Hey bud,” TBN had hopped up onto the arm of the couch when Nico got close enough and he reached out to pet his little head. No bad feelings. He didn’t hold anything against the cat, ”So did you order yet?”
Nico had paid his price in the bathroom and he and his empty stomach were both looking forward to the first real meal he’d had in almost 48 hours now considering yesterday he had survived off snacks and smoothies, ”I think I might be kind of starving now that all the traveling is wearing off.”
“I swear to God, if he becomes your favorite in just one day after I’ve been doing all this work for a whole week…I’m returning you.” Gail didn’t mean this threat, of course. But she couldn’t help side eyeing the closed bathroom door as TBN continued to stare almost longingly at it. She and TBN waited at the dining table for Nico to emerge and join them. With one hand continuously stroking TBN’s soft fur, the other was scrolling through DoorDash contemplating what they could eat for a late lunch.
However, every so often, her eyes would slide over to the folded piece of paper sitting beside the pile of gifts. Nico advised her to read it later. Only, there was no denying the momentary panic that flashed on his face when he saw the paper in her hand. Even though he tried to play it off like it was nothing too important, Gail felt like she knew him well enough to know when he was lying.
But did her developing self-awareness of her best friend mean that she could go against his wishes to satiate her growing curiosity?
It wasn’t. But that decision came with some precautionary actions.
TBN practically shrieked in protest over the sudden lack of attention and insistent petting as Gail walked the still folded piece of paper into her bedroom. If she was going to follow through on Nico’s instructions, her best bet was to initiate an “out of sight, out of mind” defense. So long as she didn’t see the thing and was constantly occupied with other…things, she wouldn’t focus too much on what she was avoiding.
When she walked out of her room again, Gail half expected Nico to already be done in the bathroom. However, the only one out in the living room waiting for her was TBN, now sitting remarkably poised a couple feet away from her bedroom door and his tag swishing slowly. Even though she could not speak cat, she could practically feel his annoyance that she left him without even a second’s warning. As if he could understand human.
“Yah! Don’t give me that look!” she scolded as she dropped down to sit on the floor in front of him. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be clingy….” She, of course, knew better. He was just an attention whore.
In the end, Gail went right back to giving TBN exactly what he wanted. His satisfied purring vibrated against her fingertips as she focused intently on scratching the spot right behind his left ear that she learned recently was his “spot.” If she was going to have to remind him that she was the better favorite than someone he just met today, she might as well bribe him with massages and scratches.
By the time Nico finally stepped out of the bathroom, Gail and TBN had returned to the dining table. A chair was pulled up beside her for TBN to sit on, since he was not allowed on top of the table. He had decided to be done with scratches from her, but refused to leave her side—probably in case he changed his mind. The arrangement was fine for Gail since she can return to her task of ordering food for them.
When she looked up from her phone screen, Gail found that her cat had once again abandoned her for the new addition to the apartment. Her face momentarily fell into an exasperated expression toward the attention seeker, but it disappeared a moment later as she returned her gaze back to her phone. She was currently tracking the progress of their food order and could not be distracted by how salty she felt at being replaced so quickly.
“I ordered Mediterranean. Got a couple kabob options so we can mix and match. Plus it means two more sides so I don’t have to fight you over the fries.” Gail propped her phone up against the centerpiece bowl then turned to watch Nico and TBN interact. A part of her wanted to ask about his phone call with his sister. However, she already knew that opening up that conversation would very quickly lead to her disclosing that she had, in fact, reached out to Maia the other night to tell her what she had overheard from their mother over FaceTime. With the limited knowledge she had about Nico’s older sister, she figured that Maia would also keep that detail to herself.
“I may have also gone a little stir crazy on dessert. Well…I ordered like a couple extra pieces of baklava. But those are for work, ‘cause God only knows how hectic the clinic has been recently.” Just the thought of clinicals only heightened her sweet craving. But instead of scouring the delivery apps to order more desserts, she instead reached for the box of macarons still on the table and blindly grabbed a couple to snack on.
While they waited for their food to arrive, Gail spent much of their conversation catching Nico up on all that he missed while he was away. As much as she wanted to know more about his New York trip, she felt that it was just safer for them if she did most of the talking. So she told him about dance practice and the couple classes she attended. She also offered whatever updates she knew of about the next couple days of Haru’s birthday celebrations. Did she go into that in an attempt to possibly persuade him to partake? Maybe. But she wasn’t going to push too hard on trying to convince him. If some detail somehow piqued his interest enough to change his mind and go, then great! If it didn’t? Well, at least she tried.
“Michie said that I need to be at the karaoke place by eight. I was initially going to drive, but I have been warned that there will be quite a bit of alcohol served soooo I think I might just Uber it there just to be safe,” she explained before taking a bite into her fourth macaron. “She offered to pick me up and all, but honestly the amount of driving her driver would have to do just didn’t seem right. I might take her up on that offer for a ride home though? It’s not like Haru is gonna know he’ll be stuck in the car for an extra half hour or whatever.” She giggled at this thought, already imagining what a legally drunk Haru will look like tonight.
There was another reason why Gail wanted to keep conversation on what was the most comfortable for them. As much as she wanted to know more details about his New York trip that he hadn’t already shared, she also just wanted to leave that trip—and that state—all in the past. Because nowadays just thinking about New York leaves her feeling a heaviness in her chest. Lately, it’s been more and more difficult letting go of New York.
In fact, as she stared at their food that had just been delivered, Gail caught herself once more briefly thinking about the bustling streets. She hadn’t been back there in years, but the memory of it has been crystal clear for the past few months. And each time the city comes to mind, she would always catch herself brushing her thumb against her ring finger—distracted by a force of habit and phantom sensations that she has been trying so hard to move past.
“Go ahead and start without me, I’ll be right back.” Once Nico gave her a nod of acknowledgement, she got up from her seat at the dining table to walk back to her bedroom. She headed straight to her dresser where a pearl white jewelry box sat on top among the organized chaos of her day to day routine. As she opened the lid to the jewelry box, her eyes went immediately to the top center where an array of rings were on display. She didn’t need to browse her collection, immediately picking up a white gold Cartier diamond ring and immediately slipping it onto her ring finger.
The wave of emotions that ebbed and flowed through her while looking at her ring finger left her momentarily breathless. She thought that she was past these emotions. She thought that after all these months that the hurt was going away—that she was getting better. She thought that she was improving. She thought that she was getting over it.
She thought that she was getting over him.
But as she stared down at the $3,300 diamond ring she bought impulsively in the midst of her heartbreak all those months ago, she realized that she had been fooling herself. Even as life moved on around her and she went on thinking that she was moving on with it, she was far from it. There was no greater proof than the diamond ring she still needed to wear as a bandaid for the loss of the beautiful engagement ring she had to give back before he left with his one-way ticket to New York.
Gail let out a heavy sigh. “Fucking Grayson…” she muttered as she dropped her left hand to her side and turned to leave her bedroom.
As she took her seat again at the dining table, she ignored the look Nico gave her, picked up her fork and stabbed a couple pieces of the beef kabob onto her plate. “Can you pass me a pita bread and the hummus?”
The meal was spent in comfortable silence. It wasn’t something that Gail was typically used to as someone that generally liked a bit of noise, but when it came to Nico, she found that she welcomed it. It was one of the reasons Gail always felt at peace with Nico, even when they first started getting to know each other through OLYMPUS. While she felt compelled, and even pressured, to keep those around her entertained, Nico very rarely had that expectation of her. From the very beginning, they savored the silence that came almost naturally between them. It was never awkward or tense. The silence was the result of two people that just wanted to be around each other without forcing it. So while Gail would insert a comment or small joke every so often, the rest of their time enjoying their late lunch together was simply, peaceful. Dare she consider it serene even.
It was this that Gail missed the most when Nico was away.
Now, finally, she no longer felt suffocated in her own apartment having her best friend back sharing her space.
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