A Question on Harems

[littlelovelost]

Lately I've noticed how popular the harem trope/concept has gotten and I'm honestly very curious about it. I can understand why it's appealing to the person in the centre of the group, but essentially I'm failing to see what's in it for the person writing the collection of worshipping beauties. Is it tickling a people pleasing or service sub kink that you may have? Is it a writing exercise or experiment for you? Or am I totally missing something?

Personally, I have enjoyed writing multiples for a partner in the past, but this usually works for me because:
1. They're an established partner of mine and I know that they can effectively "handle" more than one scene partner in a sexual scenario, and I know they can also return the attention to the degree that my characters are properly looked after, and
2. I like making them happy because I know them and like them.

I cannot imagine doing anything like that for a stranger. Putting in that kind of effort and work, only to find that the person on the receiving end really just wants to receive. Is this not boring? To those who create RTs for harems and request "applications" from prospective partners, does that work? I've received pitches from people I've never had any previous interaction with, offering to play a stud for my cadre of very different/diverse ladies, who all, coincidentally, have to be fleshed out characters unto themselves with their own specific kinks. And some of them are even expected to engage with each other. I mean, it is a huge ask.

Absolutely no shade or shame here! I would just love to hear from the lads and ladies who write Harem/Reverse Harem and educate me. Knowledge is my biggest kink.

 

[Typical Blue Haired Dude]

I’ve been on the receiving end far more than on the giving end, but I have still done quite a few rp’s playing as the harem, so maybe my input might be helpful here!

Lately I've noticed how popular the harem trope/concept has gotten and I'm honestly very curious about it. I can understand why it's appealing to the person in the centre of the group, but essentially I'm failing to see what's in it for the person writing the collection of worshipping beauties. Is it tickling a people pleasing or service sub kink that you may have? Is it a writing exercise or experiment for you? Or am I totally missing something?

I think it’s a bit of everything that you’ve listed here. For me personally, I do find it as an enjoyable writing exercise and a way to strengthen my worldbuilding and characters. Although I’ve never DM’d a D&D session, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to do this, and I see these roleplays as a bit of practice for when I do eventually take that dive, at least in the storytelling aspect. That, and I also just enjoy some smutty fun times as well, heheh.

Although, I’ve had a few instances where I felt that the person I was playing against didn’t really bring much to the table. This doesn’t really happen when I double, since I know the person puts in effort, but more so when I decide to humor someone and play a harem for them without much in return. At least when I’m on the receiving end, I do my best to engage with the different characters and set something fun up.

I cannot imagine doing anything like that for a stranger. Putting in that kind of effort and work, only to find that the person on the receiving end really just wants to receive. Is this not boring? To those who create RTs for harems and request "applications" from prospective partners, does that work?

More often than not, I have to go out of my way to find people who are willing to do such things, but every now and then I do get someone who reaches out to me first! It also helps that my request thread is flexible, so that although there are options to set up harems, they aren’t exactly required. I don’t really do applications per se, I more so just talk it out with people and try to set up ideas.

I have done “applications” for others who were looking for harem protags with somewhat average success as well, but it can depend on many varying factors, such as what the person is looking for and how many people have messaged them beforehand.

Absolutely no shade or shame here! I would just love to hear from the lads and ladies who write Harem/Reverse Harem and educate me. Knowledge is my biggest kink.

I can get both the pros and cons of harem setups. It’s a lot of work for one person, so the other person better make it worth their while! It’s not something for everyone, but there’s certainly a market for it.

I’ve given my two cents on the situation, but it’s best you get some more feedback from others before making any final thoughts on the matter. After all, I might just be a weirdo for all I know

 

[MaxMax]

Is it tickling a people pleasing or service sub kink that you may have? Is it a writing exercise or experiment for you? Or am I totally missing something?

I'm not a fan of harems as such, but I love to be a Game Master type, when I have multiple characters. I'm not against my partner to have multiple characters, but that's besides the point for this question.

Point is – having multiple characters opens up a lot of avenues for roleplay. You can have different first-time approach to character. You can have some intrigue, play with feelings, jealousy, neglect, competition, frustration. Just makes writing more fun to be honest.

It's also more realistic, than having 1+1 characters.

 

[littlelovelost]

I'm not a fan of harems as such, but I love to be a Game Master type, when I have multiple characters. I'm not against my partner to have multiple characters, but that's besides the point for this question.

Point is – having multiple characters opens up a lot of avenues for roleplay. You can have different first-time approach to character. You can have some intrigue, play with feelings, jealousy, neglect, competition, frustration. Just makes writing more fun to be honest.

It's also more realistic, than having 1+1 characters.

See, the thing is I do come from a GMing background, and I think that's actually what's guiding my opinion about harem/multi play in the opposite direction to you. I ran a Trek SIMM for years, wherein I'd have to write a new mission every month for a crew of players; and that included shoring up the roster with NPCs, playing villains, making sure that the crew were engaged with some intrigue and tying up loose plot ends as much as possible. It did appeal to some sensibilities in me, no lie, but after a while it kind of felt like herding cats. And it's pretty thankless.

I think maybe when I stopped doing it I was just kind of craving something without responsibility. I feel like writing a harem for someone might feel like a responsibility to me. But that is totally my own issue!

I think it’s a bit of everything that you’ve listed here. For me personally, I do find it as an enjoyable writing exercise and a way to strengthen my worldbuilding and characters. Although I’ve never DM’d a D&D session, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to do this, and I see these roleplays as a bit of practice for when I do eventually take that dive, at least in the storytelling aspect. That, and I also just enjoy some smutty fun times as well, heheh.

So, I have a plot/storytelling question for you. In my mind, harems mean lots and lots of smutty fun times (yay!), but I am so curious as to how it lends itself to actual, working plots. Please tell me how you do this! Is it like a group adventure? Does a member of the harem go missing and you have to go hunt for them? Is YC a demon or in possession of a magical artefact that makes the objects of his attraction crazy for him? Kind of like that last one.

Although, I’ve had a few instances where I felt that the person I was playing against didn’t really bring much to the table. This doesn’t really happen when I double, since I know the person puts in effort, but more so when I decide to humor someone and play a harem for them without much in return. At least when I’m on the receiving end, I do my best to engage with the different characters and set something fun up.

When you're the writer playing the harem, is there something that the other person can do/say/promise that makes you think they'll be more of an equal partner? So often I see RTs or pitches that list out all the things that *I* need to bring to the table, including characters, concepts, ideas, FCs, etc., but there's rarely any mention of what the other person brings, other than what's in their pants.

I’ve given my two cents on the situation, but it’s best you get some more feedback from others before making any final thoughts on the matter. After all, I might just be a weirdo for all I know

We're all weirdos here! <3

Thanks so much to you and MaxMax, this really helped me understand where I was coming from.

 

[MaxMax]

the thing is I do come from a GMing background, and I think that's actually what's guiding my opinion about harem play in the opposite direction to you. I ran a Trek SIMM for years

I should have specified – GMing single person. I mostly agree with you when it comes to GMing a team of people, but I never run smutty-RPs with multiple people. Nothing against it, but again besides the point.

Though, in my mind, the difference between GMing with single person, versus harem is homogeniality of the characters:

- If somebody would ask me to run harem, I would probably understand it as bunch of similar characters. And most likely reject it, unless it's somebody I played for years, and might humour their request.
- If somebody asks me to GM them, I will see it, as opportunity for exciting, challenging, sexy writing

Something like this.

 

[littlelovelost]

I should have specified – GMing single person. I mostly agree with you when it comes to GMing a team of people, but I never run smutty-RPs with multiple people. Nothing against it, but again besides the point.

Though, in my mind, the difference between GMing with single person, versus harem is homogeniality of the characters:

- If somebody would ask me to run harem, I would probably understand it as bunch of similar characters. And most likely reject it, unless it's somebody I played for years, and might humour their request.
- If somebody asks me to GM them, I will see it, as opportunity for exciting, challenging, sexy writing

Something like this.

If someone GMed for me I would be convinced I was taking advantage of them

But that is me projecting my experience. On one hand, having someone guide a story without me is super appealling, because I've never had that, on the other I wonder if the aul Type A would emerge from under its rock and try to eat them take over.

I do agree though, if a partner I had an established relationship with asked me to give it a try I probably would consider it. For science. Otherwise, harem seems like interchangeable, similar characters for smut, and I'm not sure I'd be into that, either.

 

[theworst]

I really love doubling, spikes my jollies and what not, totally down with multiple characters but I’m not a fan of the popularity of harems or even the expectation of poly. I end up writing SO much where the harem members are interacting with each other, not my partners. I’m not going to not write the internal monologue of the characters I’m playing, so posts end up lengthy. Unequal RPs are my biggest pet peeve but in the harem scenario it seems unavoidable.

For me, it’s burnout city, but from the angle of a subby desire to please, it makes sense. I’m writing some poly/harem (I know they are different dynamics but speaking to writing multiple characters to someone’s solo character) stories right now that I’m enjoying, but I probably will not be accepting anymore. Almost everyone asks for it, though and I wonder sometimes if the person asking for the harem understands the amount of work that it takes.

 

[littlelovelost]

Unequal RPs are my biggest pet peeve but in the harem scenario it seems unavoidable.

I've definitely identified that as one of my biggest RP pet peeves, too. Nothing makes me lose my lady boner for a story quicker than realising I have to do all the work to make it happen.

For me, it’s burnout city, but from the angle of a subby desire to please, it makes sense. I’m writing some poly/harem (I know they are different dynamics but speaking to writing multiple characters to someone’s solo character) stories right now that I’m enjoying, but I probably will not be accepting anymore. Almost everyone asks for it, though and I wonder sometimes if the person asking for the harem understands the amount of work that it takes.

I honestly don't think they do realise how much work it is. I've seen a large amount of people include it in their 'Favs', but I find it hard to believe that so many people have actually managed to play a successful one. It must be a rare thing!

 

[Seranda]

I don't typically like harems, as to me, most of them reduce characters to a sex scene or a sexual kink. This is the one with really big tits, this is the one that likes to be tied up, this is the really shy one, that loves it up her ass. It's really lame.

If I were to write up a "harem" and I typically don't, though I do provide my partners with multiple love interests if it is in their interest... I would consider making each character in the harem quite unique. If they are just a bunch of girls to fuck it's an absolute waste of my time and I won't give an hour on any given day to partake in it.

If the characters are unique, are drawn to the male for a valid reason, and the male isn't just slurping their asses every time they share write space, I can work with it.

With "reverse harem" I would prefer a female have multiple options, and make the best of it as situations arise. Not so much 9 strangers all clamoring for the same girl, being completely okay with the other 8 touching her and trying to win her over.

That's just such a waste of time to me.

 

[raison detre]

I usually don't play "harems" or "reverse harems", but I do it when the mood strikes me and the such.

In my experience, I agree with the idea that a lot of times, people who ask to have harems played for them either don't seem to understand the effort, or don't give something equal in return in effort. That's why I wouldn't play a harem for someone who I haven't played with before, but I'd be happy to do it for someone who I've played with for a while if they asked, or if the mood struck me and they were willing to indulge me in that craving.

For me, the appeal of writing a "reverse harem" is in developing multiple characters. Creating a backstory, developing a personality and thinking of the ways a character can grow is one of my favorite parts of roleplaying, and a reverse harem gives a chance to do that for multiple characters at once. It's also kind of fun to just write the interpersonal relationships between these characters and not just their love interest. It's not like they're obligated to only interact with the person they're interested in, after all.

That said, I rarely do it, so my experience with it is probably limited.

 

[Baka]

In general I don't accept harem RPs. I used to try them out when I was starting this hobby with extremely bad and unsatisfying results, which ultimately led me to dislike it as a theme (and a kink) in RP-scene.

I can see some exceptions where I'd accept a harem RP proposal. One would be for a long-time partner whom I mesh well with and who I trust will make a great story around the harem concept.

Another one would be RP that parodies the harem-anime/manga/VN subgenre like The World God Only Knows and 100 Girlfriends did, putting the emphasis on the comedic story.

Third one would be otome-isekai/villainess RP since usually the anime, manga and webtoons that belong to this genre have some sort of reverse-harem situation going on. This putting the emphasis on the drama and romance between the characters.

So if used as a base for a potentially interesting story I don't mind going through the effort and write multiple characters against one in a harem-scenario, but if it's just used as an excuse to bang/get banged by multiple characters that fawn over the other players singular Gary-Stu/Mary-Sue then I definitely am not interested. If I want that I can just pick a random harem-anime to watch and most likely have much more pleasant time without the hassle.

 

[littlelovelost]

I don't typically like harems, as to me, most of them reduce characters to a sex scene or a sexual kink. This is the one with really big tits, this is the one that likes to be tied up, this is the really shy one, that loves it up her ass. It's really lame.

I loved all of your reply but I proper loled at this. Thank you for putting my impression of harems into words. I love how irreverant you are, it brought me joy.

For me, the appeal of writing a "reverse harem" is in developing multiple characters. Creating a backstory, developing a personality and thinking of the ways a character can grow is one of my favorite parts of roleplaying, and a reverse harem gives a chance to do that for multiple characters at once. It's also kind of fun to just write the interpersonal relationships between these characters and not just their love interest. It's not like they're obligated to only interact with the person they're interested in, after all.

But are you really developing characters? I'm sure you could write complex character sheets and give them histories, but how are you using or applying that to a story? To me RP harems really just consist of hopping from one smut scene to another, purely because of the self-insert/fantasy nature of it, so under what circumstances in an RP like that are you actually flexing any kind of character development writing muscles? And if you want to write interpersonal relationships between your own characters, what do you need the other person for? RH is huge at the mo, you could turn it into a book and get your bag! I would read it.

So if used as a base for a potentially interesting story I don't mind going through the effort and write multiple characters against one in a harem-scenario, but if it's just used as an excuse to bang/get banged by multiple characters that fawn over the other players singular Gary-Stu/Mary-Sue then I definitely am not interested. If I want that I can just pick a random harem-anime to watch and most likely have much more pleasant time without the hassle.

This is kind of where I'm at now. I've nothing against the self-insert nature of fulfilling fantasies through RP (many writers do this), but at this point, going by the answers here, it's a very one-sided exercise and usually against/with someone who doesn't (or can't) give the same energy back. I know it's a fantasy, and I've written some outlandish kinks in my time, but I can't intellectually wrap my head around why my six gorgeous girls would clamber for one guy. Like, having a big cock isn't a personality.

Anyway, thanks everyone. I think I've figured out that it's not for me.

 

[Suicide]

Never done a harem scenario but would love to try with the right partner. I would prefer a harem of men owned by a female though. I think the way I would go about it would be to focus on one Harem man and kind of just talk about the others rather than try and play every one out as an individiual character unless I felt I could occasionally use one in specific stories. Kind of like a TV show where sometimes a minor player comes in and a story revolves around them for a while.

 

[House of Self Undoing]

I've enjoyed them when I've met the right writing partner and the creativity has been overflowing as it allows to cover lots of different things that might feel hard to do with just one character.

However there are multiple downsides. Yeah there's a tendency to have it boil down to one girl=one kink, 'this one is a furry!, this one only does anal! and so on', if you're relaxed and happy with a campy/porny RP then it's not an issue and can be fun, but it lacks a lot of depth. They can also encourage not making decisions - 'do I want to write a teen girl or a milf? Why not both!' which I've hamstrung myself with in the past.

I'd absolutely write one again, but it would need to be with the right partner.

 

[Suicide]

I've enjoyed them when I've met the right writing partner and the creativity has been overflowing as it allows to cover lots of different things that might feel hard to do with just one character.

However there are multiple downsides. Yeah there's a tendency to have it boil down to one girl=one kink, 'this one is a furry!, this one only does anal! and so on', if you're relaxed and happy with a campy/porny RP then it's not an issue and can be fun, but it lacks a lot of depth. They can also encourage not making decisions - 'do I want to write a teen girl or a milf? Why not both!' which I've hamstrung myself with in the past.

I'd absolutely write one again, but it would need to be with the right partner.

I think there would have to be a back story as to why there is a harem in the first place, the purpose of the harem "staff" and its owner. That in itself would intrigue me and then of course how they all interact together.

I wouldn't be into just writing sex scenes constantly.