The 1-1 Incident

[Tinkerer Nadia]

The 1-1 Incident​

For as long as Kamekski had served in the browser army, he had never read a report like this.

Laying on his desk in Castle 3-4 was a folder, containing top-secret documentation. His associate, Commander Hamerton Broseph was convinced of its authenticity. "It's got the Koopas on edge. I know the boys they deployed to 1-1, they wouldn't get wiped out by a lingering unit of toads. Something is out there, and if we don't mobilize-"

The magikoopa stopped him, holding up a photograph. "What happened to your boys is tragic, but when we sent reinforcements they said they didn't find shit, Broseph. I agree that Toads didn't do this but until I know more I can't authorize anything."

The blurry photograph had been taken at a checkpoint, between 1-1 and 1-2. It was hard to make out what was on the shot, all they could see was what looked like a creature. Around five feet tall, a red and blue smear as whatever it was sped by. Broseph slammed his fist on the desk, leaning in. "It's not just 1-1! Whatever this thing is, it's clearing sectors of koopas and goombas like a Rosalina-damned apex predator! Something is out there, Kamekski! It's killing my boys!"

The magikoopa stood up. "Damnit, Hamerton! What do you want me to do?! If there is some kind of new mushroom kingdom weapon out there, loading up and marching out might be just what they want!" Broseph knew he was right. They didn't have enough intent to act…

"King Bowser is accepting the princess's terms of surrender tomorrow. We can't have any toads getting bright ideas and trying to rebel if they hear some kind of thing is out there destroying entire combat units. He wants this dealt with ASAP." The two koopas were suddenly interrupted, Goombric blasting through the office door. "We got a survivor of 1-1!"

~~~

The three officers marched right to the medical wing of the castle. This was it, a witness could give them the information they needed to act. When Broseph arrived, however…

He had seen a lot of shit in his long twelve years of service. Goombas falling into pits, bomb-ombs blasting his friends into red mist…but this. "By the king…" A Koopa lay on a stretcher. A green shell, though with how much blood he had caked onto him, he almost misidentified him as a fellow red. He looked like hell, the poor kid barely conscious.

"Private Sheldon was found bouncing between two pipes, tumbling back and forth in his shell. Be gentle with him, commander." He nodded, doctor Thwampson leaving by rising into the ceiling.

"C…Commander?"

Kamekski let Broseph handle this. He was good with wounded soldiers, always knew what to say. This poor kid likely enlisted to make his family proud…now he was a mangled mess, unlikely to walk again. "I'm here, son. You are safe now."

"No one…is safe."

Broseph leaned in, the Private barely able to speak. He coughed, Sheldon doing his best to report in despite his wounds. "It's out there. We couldn't stop it. We barely even… *GOOGGHHHAAAGGGG!*...slowed the fucker down." Broseph didn't interrupt. There was a good chance that Sheldon wouldn't make it through the night, so he had to let him talk.

"It was so peaceful out there…"

~~~

1-1 was of little strategic importance. No major towns or settlements, just some agricultural and mining operations. The toads deployed there had abandoned the area pretty quickly, so for the boys of Green Company, spirits were high.

We sat at our stations, but we weren't on guard. We blasted loud music, and spent hours playing cards…how foolish we were.

"Hey, boys! Check this out!" The men of Green Company huddled around as Goombert laid out a newspaper, everyone cheering. "It's finally over!"

The koopas and goombas had never read a better headline. Princess found in another Castle, Surrenders was in bold, black text, the troops all letting the pent-up stress of the war out as they started to finally decompress. Private Sheldon sat down for what felt like the first time in months, the rest all starting to break out drinks.

Fortunate Shells was playing on the radio, many of the soldiers singing along. Home felt so distant still and yet, they could go home, likely soon. "Sheldon!" The unit commander, Sergeant Turt, called out for him. He stood at attention and presented himself, only for the older man to laugh and pat him on the back. "You don't have to salute today, kid. I'm rounding up a few boys for some guard duty, but I suspect more drinking will be done than looking for enemies. You in?"

~~~

"I told him I was. I didn't know why at the time but I felt like…I had to check the area, just once more before we headed home." Broseph nodded. "Soldier's intuition. What did you find?" He asked, Sheldon wincing in pain. "It found us. It fucking found us."

"What did? Private! What attacked your unit?!" Raising his voice, Broseph grabbed his hand, trying to keep the delirious koopa focused enough to explain just what caused so much damage.

"The Jump Man. The Jump Man…"

~~~

"MOVE MOVE MOVE!"

1-1 was set ablaze, fires breaking out all over. I and the rest who went with Turt arrived back at camp to find everyone slain, down to the last Goomba.

"Get on the radio! We need backup!" Turt shouted, staying composed despite the carnage. He grabbed me and shook me, snapping me out of my shock. I had seen good men die on this campaign, but this…

They were crushed, and burned…it was like some psychotic twomp had just gone around smashing everyone into the ground, mashing their bodies up like a sadistic murderer. If this was done by a unit of toads…he didn't want to run into those psychopaths.

"We gotta get out of here! We need to regroup!" Turt was right. The once idyllic countryside of the mushroom kingdom was in ruins, the hard reality of war having brutally arrived. I kept my eyes forward, looking for the source of all the destruction.

We moved right, Turt taking the lead as usual. The camp was completely decimated so I could only imagine what he was going through. Feeling guilty for surviving perhaps? Responsible for letting us relax before the end?

We made our way towards the castle, hoping to warn the base while also regrouping. The four of us that survived arrived just in time to see it.

Sheldon let out a groan of pain, Commander Hamerton struggling to watch. It was hard to see a good soldier like this, being so strong despite the pain. "What did you see? The Jump Man?"

Sheldon nodded. "It was…already finished with the castle. We arrived to see it sliding down the flagpole, that creature…that abomination looking right at us. It let out some kind of fire from its hands…and I blacked out."

Hamerton Broseph could only imagine what they were up against. Sheldon started to cough profusely, Dr. Thwampson arrived from above and resumed his duties. "The patient requires medical attention. I am sorry commander, but you need to leave!"

Kamekski nodded, leading the way out. Broseph was lost in thought, joining the others even as the nurses went straight to work to try and save that poor kid.

~~~

"I'm going. If that thing is out there, we have a responsibility to deal with it!" Kamekski shook his head, Broseph gearing up even as they argued. "Are you mad?! Listen, I get it, I do but we need to hunker down, wait and see! So far, sectors 1-2 and up are reporting all clear. The troops sent to investigate 1-1 didn't find any evidence of this so-called 'Jump Man', so-"

Broseph had heard enough. Grabbing a hammer from the weapon rack, he put his helmet on and sighed. "I know the look in his eye. Sheldon was telling the truth, his fear was too real, too visceral. I'm taking the Hells Shells to investigate, I would notify HQ and tell them to get ready for war."

Kamekski gave up. He knew the commander would not rest until whoever did this was dead and buried, so instead he handed him a portable radio. "Keep in touch. I will be keeping an open line twenty-four-seven. If you see anything, observe but do not engage."

Hamerton nodded. "Got it. I'm going to round up the unit and move out ASAP. If I don't come back, just promise me you will keep on fighting." Kamekski wasn't one to disappoint. "To the end."

~~~

The droning of the clown car's propellers was soothing before a drop. Broseph had managed to organize the four best paratroops of the 'Hells Shells' unit, an elite task force used to drop into enemy territory and carry out missions otherwise thought impossible. Broseph himself was the ranking officer of course, though these living legends at his disposal made the mission ahead almost seem palatable.

"Alright ladies, Welcome to 1-1."

The interior of the troop carrier was large enough for an impromptu briefing. He would have handled it before leaving, but the Jump Man was being considered on a need-to-know basis for the time being, given the lack of intel. "This sector was recently routed by an unknown single attacker. Our target is a five-foot koopaniod with a distinct red and blue skin tone. It managed to single-handedly destroy an entire combat team and a security checkpoint in an attack that lasted around ten minutes."

One of the troops whistled, leaning forwards. "You believe this, Commander? Come on, next you're going to be telling me toads can fly." Broseph wasn't surprised to see who had interrupted. Kurtis "Alcatraz" Shelmonti, smoking a cigar like he was King Koopa himself, joking around to the others. "One toad took out all of those boys? You sure they didn't just trash the place after a rager?"

The heavy Koopa slung a hammer over his shoulder. "Even back home in giant land, the toads don't get that tall. It's gotta be something else."

"We don't believe it is a toad. Hell, we aren't even sure it's working for the mushroom kingdom."

The others shifted, clearly unsure what to make of all this. Kooppenheimer Walkenliner, the team's bomb-omb expert, joined in. "It could be some kind of jacked-up pinata. About the same height, fits the colouration too. Those Island boys can get rowdy when hopped up on power stars." Broseph shook his head. It was logical, of course, yet he had doubts. "A survivor could not identify it. It's not something we have seen before."

The last two members, Raz Blueback and Gina Turtano stayed silent, Broseph continuing the briefing. "This is a seek-and-destroy mission. High command wants us to recon but there isn't any time for that. Whatever is out there it is killing our brothers and sisters and it is high time our special friend found out what happens when you mess with the Royal Koopa Army. We are going to follow that son of a blooper and track it down, and make it regret ever coming here. Got it?"

The four koopas stood up, the back of the clown car opening to the night sky. "Koo-PRA!"

One after the other they jumped out the back, parakoopa-ing to the ground below. The hunt was on, each of the Hells Shells ready to fight. Broseph could only hope that the creature wasn't expecting them.

~~~

The five soldiers landed without issue, their temporary wings fading as the power-ups ran out of juice. The five had landed at the checkpoint of 1-1, the last sighting of the Jump Man.

The investigation team was long gone. Only troops stationed in castle 1-4 remained in sector one, so it was just them and their prey out here. Broseph looked around the checkpoint, it was hard to accept what he was seeing.

The bodies had long been moved but he could still see the scorched remains of the fort. Whatever attacked the place had gone mental, the checkpoint barely standing after the assault. Kurtis walked forwards, the larger member of the team out of his usual remarks. "This wasn't done by natural weapons. Fire flowers don't produce this kind of raw destruction."

Kooppenheimer ran his hand through some of the ashes, rubbing two fingers together. "This was done by mrk twos. Standard issue mushroom kingdom fire flower…but it's off. They might have used a new formula, these ashes are way too…hot, still."

Gina took point, the koopette already beginning to follow tracks. "These footprints aren't like anything I have ever seen. Too big to be a toad. I can trace the path the target took, though." That was good. Broseph let her lead the way, the rest of the unit staying on guard as they began to travel. This was it…time to face the music.

~~~

Kamekski was in the middle of delegating orders to the remaining troops in sector two when Goombric entered, just as hastily as he had before. "It's all over the radio!"

"Slow down Goombric, what is?!"

"The Jump Man! Castle 1-4 just called in for backup! This is all I managed to record!" Goombric placed a tape recorder on the desk, hitting play. The radio quality wasn't good, the grainy audio likely due to a damaged receiver. However, it was good enough.

This is castle 1-4! An unknown assailant has entered the castle, he is tearing us apart! He is-" There was a loud bursting sound, like a stone being split by some kind of blast. There was a brief moment of bullet bill fire, followed by screams.

It was silent, until…it spoke. The radio was cutting out at this point, the equipment was likely damaged beyond repair. However, Kamekski could still make it out decently enough.

"WaHOo!"

~~~

The Hells Shells were making a fast pace. They had already arrived at 1-3, when they saw the smoke. The elite task force arrived at the castle too late, the entire fortress was decimated. The five koopas could only assess the damage, death having consumed the castle. Broseph cursed as he marched forwards, entering despite the seemingly endless bodies. "Yo! Are you seriously going in there?!" Shouted Raz, Kurtis backing him up. "We need to wait for reinforcements! It could still be in there!"

Broseph glanced back at the Hells Shells, using his hammer to smash a path through the rubble. "That is what I am counting on. This ends tonight." No one argued further. They instead marched over and helped clear a path, soon entering the darkened castle.

What they found shook them to their cores. Dead were strewn about, the eerie silence broken only by a distant clicking sound. The noise echoed from deeper into the castle, the five moving in.

The grey stone walls were smeared with blood and bullet bill holes. Only the light from activated fire bars lit the way, the lava pools below adding to the foreboding atmosphere. Just like Sheldon had said, the bodies were either burned to a crisp or crushed, as if something had smashed them flat.

"By the king…" Kurtis whispered, not daring to raise his voice. This place was like a slaughterhouse, the dead left where they had fallen. Whatever did this…it wasn't natural.

The clicking grew louder, the five soldiers getting closer. They carefully rounded a corner to see a setup of at least five bullet bill cannons, all empty. They had been set to autofire, a kill zone that should have stopped any assault.

No red and blue corpses, though.

"It could still be around. Let's move as a group, stay in formation." Broseph was staying cool, moving carefully as he walked past the spent shell casings. Gina stayed with him while Raz and Kooppenheimer took up the rear, Kurtis in the middle. They carefully made their way to the end of the hall, only for a blood-curdling scream to send them into battle formation.

"Move!" Shouted Broseph, the unit sprinting toward the source of the scream. They arrived just in time to watch in horror as a goomba fell to the ground, something large dashing into the shadows. They gave chase only to find a lone toad, who was trying to scurry up the wall like a damn mouser.

"YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE! YOU HEAR ME?! YOU SON OF A BLOOPER!"

By the looks of him, he was a prisoner of war. Broseph walked over and restrained the toad, managing to get a good grip as he twisted his arms behind his back. "Calm down, you toadstool freak! You will get our position exposed!"

It took some doing, but eventually, the toad started to breathe. "You can't stay here! It's still in the building!" The toad whisper-shouted, keeping his voice down despite the obvious panic. "What is?! What did you see?"

"It's in the walls…feeding! It's in the fucking walls, man! I saw it dragging super mushrooms…i-it's going to try and get me, I just know it!" They went silent as banging noises filled the halls. Something was out there, and it was moving around. Fast.

The toad took off, Gina going to try and stop him when Broseph stopped her. "We have a job to do. As far as I am concerned, the war is over until we get this SOB. Let's treat him like one of us for now."

"He is still a prisoner! Besides, he could be our best bet at identifying the target." He nodded. "You're right. Let's get that fool."

The five soon followed the toad, finding him pulling on a door. "We can't stay inside! It's probably already gotten to the power-ups!" Raz helped him open the door, Broseph taking point. "Explain, what do you mean by that? Is it looking for weapons?"

The toad stopped by the next door, planning to leave the castle out a side exit. "It doesn't use power-ups like we do. It can…absorb them, make them a part of its physiology. I saw it absorb a fire flower and gain the power to fucking roast people alive, man!"

That didn't add up. "When did you first see it?" He asked, the toad turning to face them. "A week ago. It just…fucking showed up man, it came from the depths. We were doing routine excavation and…it was underground. We call it the Plumber."

The Plumber. So even the toad units had fought the creature? "So you have no idea what it is?" "All I know is that we found it travelling in pipes under Toad Town after a big accident at the dig site, hence the name. It broke into a supply depot, it wants power-ups and it will kill to get them! So if you don't mind, I would-"

The toad didn't stand a chance. He never saw it coming, the ceiling bursting from above. Crashing down from above them, Broseph locked eyes with it.

Those cold, dead eyes. That cruel, malicious smile. The red and blue skin. The monster crushed the toad as he landed, smashing him into the floor, killing him on impact. "MaMAmIA!"

The koopas opened fire, throwing their hammers at the Jump Man. It leaped into the air a good twenty feet, dodging the attacks before scampering into a pipe, taking off as quickly as it had appeared. Broseph let out another curse, realizing all too quickly that they were up against something, unlike anything he had faced before.

"It's in the pipes! We gotta get the fuck out of here!"

Fire suddenly burst from the walls, the green pipes overheating from koops knows what. The castle was coming down and they had to move, all five making a run for it as the building crumbled around them. They managed to make it out without injury but not alone.

"WaHOo!"

A fireball exploded at their feet, Broseph only surviving because Kurtis grabbed him by the back of his shell and pulled him away in time. The monster laughed as it jumped away from their counterattack, its insane jumping skills impossible to keep up with.

"It's like a fucking cheep-cheep! How the hell can it jump that high?!" Kooppenheimer pulled a Pow Block from his pack, the blue and black box being tossed to Kurtis. He grabbed it and used his hulking muscles to throw it, the shaking of the earth when it landed letting them know it went off without a hitch.

"We can't handle this alone! Call for backup!"

Right. Grabbing the radio, Broseph started shouting, the group moving as the flames grew in size. "Kamekski! It's Broseph! It's real! The Jump Man is out here and just took out 1-4! It's real! Send reinforcements!"

Static. What the hell was going on?! The reception should be good for his long-range radios. Has something damaged the array?!

Was this creature…was it deliberately sabotaging their infrastructure? He didn't have time to find out, more fireballs flying out from the trees, the Jump Man attacking again!

"Die, you gormless son of a Blooper!" shouted Kurtis as he threw hammer after hammer, his arms swinging so fast that he was levelling tree after tree. The mushroom-shaped plant life fell over with a dull thud, the group evading fireballs, that sickening howling the creature made echoing around them.

"WAhAHh!!!! YAAAHOOOO!"

Raz cried out, a fireball blasting too close for comfort. He fell to the ground as flames started to burn his flesh, the Koopa screaming as the inferno engulfed him too fast to possibly stop. Broseph could only watch as the elite soldier died near instantly, crumpling to the ground in a pile of bones.

"Raz is down! We need to find cover!"

The situation was turning grim. They haven't even scratched the Jump Man yet he had already killed so many. Broseph wasn't about to let this stand but they needed a plan. "You three! Let's move!" He took off in a sprint, a strategy forming.

That thing wanted power-ups? Well, he would give it some. Leading the survivors past the now-destroyed castle, they managed to avoid the fireballs thrown by the Plumber and arrived at the castle Depot. Every castle had a detached area for airships and ground vehicles to resupply and if this one was stocked, there should be plenty of ordinance.

"He is on our asses! What's the plan?!" Shouted Kurtis, the hulking heavy having a hard time keeping pace. "Just keep going! Into the depot, move!" The four soldiers managed to get inside, the large hanger thankfully open. They ran in and quickly slammed the doors closed, the sound of fire flower balls bursting against the fortified bricks.

"Alright! We are going to lay a trap. Kooppenhiemer! There should be all kinds of POW, bomb-omb and bullet bills in here. Load that stuff up and get it set." The explosive expert smirked, taking off with a devious look in his eyes. Looks like they had some hope left, Broseph getting ready. "Gina, you are going to be the fuse. When that sick bastard gets close enough, ignite the explosives with this."

Broseph handed her a fire flower, single use. "Toads aren't the only ones that can grow these bad boys. Kurtis, time to show that freak why they call you 'Alcatraz'." The giant Koopa swung his hammer over his shoulder, the massive weapon ready to go. "Heh, I was hoping you would say that. Let's do this, boss!"

Broseph needed to buy them some time. The explosives would need a while to be set up to blow all at once and that abomination wasn't going to just wait outside. It was time to face him. Broseph swung the door open to the depot, waiting for Kurtis to join him before slamming it shut. This was it…

"MAmaMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIaaaaaaAAAAAA!"

The Jump Man was just standing there, waiting for them on the castle grounds. Its sickeningly wide grin was unchanged, despite how much-dried blood it had on it. Broseph could see it was wearing clothes, a pair of overalls. With all the blood on him, it was stained red, the cap on its head preventing the moonlight from illuminating its face. Only the gleam of its teeth was clear.

It stood motionless, watching them. "You aren't walking out of this alive, Jump Man. I hope whatever god you pray to has his weekend free because he is going to be putting you back together like a goddamn jigsaw puzzle after I finish with you!"

The Jump Man didn't say anything. Was it even capable of speech? Did it even comprehend words? The smile f
grew wider, the unnatural monster looking them dead in the eyes. "WWWWWWAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

It took off, sprinting straight for them. Broseph roared as he ran towards the Jump Man, raising his hammer and swinging. It clashed with his fist, the raw power almost shattering the steel. The impact was so strong the ground shook, the sadistic monster hissing in his face. He was so close he could feel its breath, see its strange facial hair caked in gore.

They broke the clash, attacking each other in a no holds barred brawl. Kurtis joined in, jumping from above and spamming to the ground, the Jump Man evading last second. He took a swing at Kurtis but had to feint to avoid Broseph, the two backing each other up like the elite fighters they were.

The fight was brutal. The Jump Man fought like a beast, his punches and kicks being so strong that even Kurtis had to avoid them or face serious injury. He was too fast to land a solid hit on, any impacts just laughed off as it recovered near instantly, that unhinged cackle and cries of joy as they fought suggesting they were at best entertaining it.

"YAhoooOOOOO! YIIIIIIpppppppeeeeeEEE!"

Broseph swung his hammer, doing a backflip to avoid a fiery counterattack and give Kurtis an opening. The massive koopa brought that hammer down on the Jump Man, the business end of his mallet coming closer and closer…

"Gguuuuaaahhhhhhhh!"

Broseph screamed as the hammer collided with the Jump Man…only for the metal to explode. The hammer was destroyed, Kurtis was sent flying. The Jump Man leapt into the air and followed him, throwing fireball after fireball, hitting him again and again, getting closer to Kurtis even as he lit him up like nothing else. Broseph threw a hammer to try and hit the Jump Man away but he was too fast, landing on Kurtis with a crunch.

The blow was bloody. The burned shell didn't stand a chance, crunching under his boots as he landed on the giant koopa. Broseph watched as the Jump Man turned to face him, that fucking smirk on his face growing wider.

"BBBBBBBBBYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYEEEEE bbbbbbBBBBBYYYYYYYyyyEEEEEE!"

Kurtis coughed up a ton of blood, barely moving after such a hit. Broseph had to get that monster away from him and he only had one thing that could do it. "You want power-ups, right?! Well, look what I got!"

He pulled a green mushroom from his belt. The small shroom was a medicinal herb that promotes rapid healing when eaten, and by the look on the Jump Man's face, he was interested. He ignored Kurtis, following Broseph as he ran off back towards the hanger. This had to be the end. He just had to kill that fucking thing, here and now!

"Boss! It's ready!" His radio started talking, Kooppenheimer on the line. "I am coming now! Walkenliner, Tell Gina to get ready to light that fucker up!"

He put the radio on his belt, sprinting faster. The Jump Man was snapping at his heels, throwing fire at him in an attempt to finish him off. Broseph was too quick for his blind rage at least, evading just in time as a fireball soared towards him.

He entered the hangar, the power-ups now piled up in the middle of the room. They had enough explosive devices to level the whole kingdom, so there was no way that the Jump Man was surviving this. Gina and Kooppenheimer had already evacuated, so it was just him and the monster.

"Hah…hah…you really are a pain…" The exhausted commander held the mushroom up, the Jump Man snarling as he taunted him with it. "Come and get it, you fat fuck!"

The Jump Man lept towards him, Broseph tossing the mushroom onto the pile of explosives. He took off for the exit as the monstrous abomination started to tear into it, his fangs ripping the plant apart like nothing else mattered.

Gina aimed, the fire flower glowing as she shot from outside, going for an open window. "Game Over, Jump Man!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!

Her single shot had hit its mark. The warehouse exploded, the Jump Man still inside. The sheer volume of volatile materials sent all three of the remaining soldiers flying, knocking them several feet as the entire building burst into flames. Broseph managed to get up with only a few bruises to his name, staying up after a few moments of disorientation.

It was over. It was finally over.

The fire was massive. If that freak had managed to survive being vaporized by the explosion the fire would be sure to roast it alive, the commander letting out a cheer. He never thought he would cheer overseeing one of their own hangers go up in flames…

"This is Commander Hamerton Broseph! We need extraction, and have a full medical team ready for one wounded! Critical condition, Kurtis-" He stopped his report, his eyes locked onto the fire. A silhouette was crawling out of the flames, Broseph watching in abject horror.

They weren't done.

The Jump Man let out a shrill scream as its body burst, his head detaching from the ragged overalls. A smaller, gangly body was inside the larger one, it separating in a bloody burst as it sprung free. He was still alive! How?!

"IT'S STILL ALIVE!" He shouted, but it was too late. The smaller body launched into the air and onto Gina, its stubby arms breaking her neck with no effort. She didn't even hit the ground before it tore her own super mushroom rations from her supply bag, swallowing the contents.

Broseph watched as the monster started to grow, its bones breaking with a disgusting crunch, reforming anew as it returned back to its full size. It was like a malignant parasite, rebuilding its cells at an alarming rate despite all the damage they had just caused it.

"JUUUSssTt WhhhhAaattttTT I NNNEEEDED!"

Broseph could only watch as the Jump Man grabbed the lifeless body of Gina and threw her at Kooppenheimer, her shell cracking him in the skull and killing him instantly. It was like it was in slow motion, everything falling apart so suddenly. They had fought so hard…for nothing.

Broseph gripped his last hammer. He looked at that disgusting, vile creature, that damn smirking monstrosity having only him left to fight. There was nothing left to be said, nothing left to be planned for. No one was coming, no one to save him.

Broseph raised the hammer, clutching the wooden handle. He started to slowly walk forwards, building up speed with each step. Memories of his life flashed before him, each one in order. His first day of school, when he enlisted in the army, his wedding, his son's first birthday…everything he was fighting for was still in danger, still on the line.

He was battered, exhausted and alone. Even as he started to run, picking up his pace, he knew the Jump Man was unlikely to be defeated, truly stopped. He could only hope to occupy him until the army mobilized and put this sick bastard down. Even then, even against all these odds…

"Come on! COME ON! I AM COMMANDER HAMERTON BROSEPH! TASTE MY DANGER!"

The fight was back on, Hamerton swinging his hammer so hard that he sent the Jump Man flying, landing a solid hit. He let all his rage out, all his anger and righteous fury in a single strike, sending the foul beast hurling toward a crevasse near the castle outskirts. The mushroom kingdom was famous for its many bottomless pits, and he was going to give that so-called plumber the grand tour. If he can't destroy it with fire, a one-way ticket to a game over should settle this.

The Jump Man landed, wiping blood from his face. The hit had finally wiped that smile off his ugly mug, a far more cruel grimace in its place. The hit had barely winded the monster but he was in place for another smack, Broseph swinging his hammer and clashing again.

His weapon didn't survive but he didn't care any longer. He slammed his head into the creature, the surprise hit sending the Plumber reeling. He threw a fist and then a kick, knocking it closer to the edge. "I'll see you in Shell, you cretinous freak!"

Broseph threw one last punch…only for his arm to get snapped like a twig. The Jump Man had gotten a second wind, recovering in time to counter. He laughed as Broseph fell to the ground, the pain so excruciating he couldn't even stand.

The Jump Man raised his boot, smashing down on his left leg. The agony was tripled as another limb was destroyed, his bones shattered like porcelain. The murderous anomaly smirked wider than ever before, seemingly taking great pleasure in taking this one slowly.

Broseph could only watch. They were at the edge of the cliff, yet he was powerless to push that fucking monster over. The Jump Man knew it too, taking a sadistic enjoyment out of this. "ThAnk YoU…So MuCH."

He raised his boot, aiming for Broseph's head. "FoR A TO PLaying…My GAME!"

Broseph closed his eyes. It was over for him. "Kooplina…I'm sorry."

The boot never came down. Instead, the sounds of a struggle broke out, Broseph opening his eyes to look.

"You wanna know why they call me Alcatraz!?" It was Kurtis! He was barely holding on but he had the Jump Man in a headlock, strangling him with every last ounce of strength he had left.

"Because when I get my hands on an ugly mother fucker like you…THERE AIN'T NO ESCAPE!" Kurtis took one look back at Broseph, a smile on his face. Before he could stop him, Kurtis threw himself off the cliff, dragging the Jump Man literally down with him.

"MMMMMMAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

Broseph was too far gone to do much else but watch as the two fell into the pit, fading into the inky darkness of the endless fall below. Broseph felt his strength giving out as the blood-curdling scream of that freak echoed from the pit below, his consciousness finally giving out.

~~~

"You can't go in there. His Majesty is reading to the class." The secret serviceman said simply, Kamekski shoved him to a wall. "Then get him outta there. This is a matter of national security!" He shouted, holding up a folder file. There were enough 'Top Secret' stamps plastered on it to give the serviceman all the motivation he needed, heading into the classroom.

"The little Goomba jumped over the hill. Run, Goomba, run!"

The children smiled as King Koopa sat before them, reading aloud to them. It was all part of his post-war outreach, PR building to help the nation heal now that the Princess was captured. When the Goomba entered the classroom, he leaned in and whispered to the imposing figure.

"I see. Children, I do hope you will excuse me…being king isn't easy. I promise to finish the story next time."

~~~

Bowser sat down in the war room, the pair having decided to discuss the file in the most secure military base they had. The Goomtagon, the headquarters of the Koopa army.

The briefing left Bowser silent. The photographs were hard to look at, his royal scaliness flipping through the file while a projector showed the same photos on repeat.

"It wiped out over five hundred soldiers in a single two-day assault. Sector One is in complete shambles, and a lot of good soldiers died bringing it down." Bowser let Kamekski finish, the situation looking dire indeed. The last photograph was perhaps the most disturbing, showing a bloated, mutated green mushroom with a massive hole in it, puss drooling out of the puncture like a diseased wound.

"This was all that remained of the Jump Man. While the Hells Shells were able to destroy the target, we believe it was later able to…reconstitute out of this mushroom. To put it bluntly, the 1-1 incident likely isn't over."

King Koopa's brow furled, his intense gaze focused on the image of the red and blue blur the security camera had managed to pick up. Bowser rose to his feet, speaking authoritatively.

"Give the soldier who survived the best medical care you can. We need him to tell us anything he knows. Weaknesses, strengths, anything. I will be personally involved from here on out."

"Sir, I…wait, where are you going?" The Magikoopa asked, Bowser cracking his knuckles. "I promised those kids the war was over." He left the room, heading for the exit to the Goomtagon. "I will ask the Princess if she knows anything. Then? It's time I ended this."