➤ Komm, süsser Tod ┃ Baka's journal (Possible NSFW ┃ comments welcome!)

[Baka]

This is just a place for me to dump stuff. Not sure what stuff just yet. Maybe music? Perhaps anime recs? My whole hentai-folder? Even some important updates regarding roleplaying? Everything is possible!

I try to tag posts appropriately and will put anything NSFW behind spoilers, so you can scroll this without the fear of anime tits and cocks jumpscaring you.

Comments etc. are welcome!
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Since I kind of just made this ready to be used I don't have anything specific to post here.

So take the song this thread is name after. Though a handful of people probably knew where the title came from already:

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[captain_bond]

I just read your "You Make My Heart Sing" story and OH MY GOD the last bit is just TOO CUTE. (Sorry for the caps XD) but I really hope things work out for them!! Like, I kinda know they will, but still.

 

[Baka]

I just read your "You Make My Heart Sing" story and OH MY GOD the last bit is just TOO CUTE. (Sorry for the caps XD) but I really hope things work out for them!! Like, I kinda know they will, but still.

Thank you! Glad you seemed to enjoy it. This is my first time ever attempting to write anything close to a fanfic, let alone share it with the world (or this forum) to read, so your comment genuinely made my day and gave me a nice boost in confidence regarding this and any possible upcoming solo-writing efforts on the site!

I have the story pretty much laid-out, and it will mostly be a feel-good romance with a lot of cute moments and a little dramatic spice towards the end, but the ending will be good one where things work out for them as you guessed.

 

[Baka]

​

Hello!​

This is just a general life update. Telling all the fun... and not-so-fun things that have happened to me during these two weeks
where I've been a lot less active for my partners, and anyone who's interested really.
​

1. Cruise​

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I was on a cruise at the beginning of the month. Not much to say about it other than I had fun with my friends. Otherwise wouldn't even thinking of going to one. Bingo was fun and we all got addicted to it like the crippled and old 20+ year-old people we are, and I got to spend a day in a new town a day before the cruise, where I found a lot of cool thrift-stores, antiquarian bookshops etc, and bought quite a bit of manga.

2. I got sick. Yay!​

​

Other than some candy and energy-drinks I bought some annoying virus home with me, and was suffering from headache, sore throat, mild fever and sore muscles all the way to the Thursday. Not fun at all, but at least I had time to binge a lot of Gundam, and I got mostly recovered for the event I was waiting for many months!

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3. Anime-convention!​

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Yesterday I came back from anime convention that lasted from Friday to Sunday, and I had a blast. I got to see a lot of my friends (some of which also were on that cruise I mentioned earlier), attended to many interesting panels, bought a lot of merch ranging from figures to fanmade-products like prints and charms (and now my wallet is crying blood as always after every con-weekend), sang a lot of anime-karaoke (spent like... five hours in the karaoke room on last day), ate a lot of good food and had a great time. Also the convention thrift-shops are always amazing. Made a lot of good finds this time around as well (mainly one cast-off figure which usually is 200+ €, but found it 90€, and finally all the volumes of Oshiete Galko-chan I've been hunting for ages now).

I also cosplayed, this time my favorite Evangelion-gal for the first time (aka. Asuka) in her school-uniform. Was contemplating on the Rebuild-one, but this one was much more simple and affordable.

I also met one of my RP-partners for the first time in real life, and they surprised me with two Hugtto Precure-figures that were missing from my collection. I remember mentioning about these to them once almost a year ago, but they somehow managed to find them and get them to me as a surprise. Genuinely one of the best surprises I've ever had, and I need to pay it back to them at the next con we meet.

All in all I had a great time, and I'm missing the fun con-weekend and my friends already, but today we are going to apply to hold a program to one other con with few friends, so we might get together sooner than we thought.

4. And that's all... or is it?​

I thought I finally get to chill at home after two weekends of traveling and one week where I was effectively sick, but my aunt and grandmother asked me to visit them due to my extremely chill schedule with schoolwork this week, so I will be going to visit them for a few days from Wednesday to next weeks Monday.

This shouldn't really affect my replies since I will take my laptop with me, but if I may seem slower with my answers that aren't exactly the fastest to begin with then that's most likely the reason.

And that's all for real! Thank you for reading! And have a song I sang on that anime-karaoke as a closer to this update:​

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[Baka]

Hello again!​

I've been talking with my current situation briefly in my status-updates, but thought I should elaborate to my partners where I am mentally at the moment.

I am basically writing this on one sitting without any real plans how to go about this, so sorry if I go on tangents and such.​

My situation briefly​

​

Without boring you with any details I have been diagnosed with moderate depression back in 2020. While my overall mood has greatly improved from back then I have depressive episodes where I feel absolutely shit. These usually strike during Autumn, which points to this being a seasonal depression, but since these have also struck during other seasons I am just calling these depressive episodes.

At the moment I am middle of this. Been feeling empty, lethargic and overall just sad and depressed for three or so weeks, and my muse has been the same aside from few exceptions, which I will elaborate a bit later.

Some FaQ-type segment where I answer possible questions​

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Q: How does this affect to our roleplays

A: Most of you know answer to this one, but I haven't been able to produce anything for majority of my RPs, and sometimes even OOC-replies seem like a tall task to answer. Past few weeks my process has been to stare blankly at the thread I am suppose to reply, maybe get something out or give up trying and coming back to it the next day, and repeating this process again till I eventually get something out.

The guilt of taking my time has also caused me to stress some extent, which isn't really helping the cycle either. Gladly all of my partners whom I've explained this have been extremely understanding and supportive, but it's still extremely tough when you want to write and want to get back to the partners asap, but your mind just be like "Fuck you. You're not doing anything creative today! Actually you don't do anything! Stare at your monitor and think about your pathetic meaningless existence!"

So the effect will be fairly slow an dirregular replies in short till I get my mojo back.

Q: Are you still interested in the play?

A: If I haven't explicitly said that I need to drop out then yes. I still am interested, however I get if you, my possible partner might've lost yours, and if that's the case I would love if you could inform about that to me. No hard feelings. I 100% get that. If you are still interested then I will get back to you sooner or later.

If you decide that waiting for me is not something you want to do feel free to hit me up later as well. I hope I don't burn any bridges with my possible partners thanks to my depressed-ass, so if you rather want to give our thing a go when I'm in a better state of mind then that's something I am ready to do too.

Q: I've seen you bumping your threads despite of all this. What's that about?

A: Long story short that's because there's a certain types of roleplays where I've managed to produce something, and that have brought me comfort and good-vibes during all this. And those are fandom-roleplays. I like my OC-plays a lot, but there's just something about seeing a characters I am already fond of being happy, kinky, getting on adventures in the world they are written in etc. that's healing for me. A character that I like being happy makes me in turn happy, and that gives me some sort of burst to write a reply before the usual cycle repeats.

Frequent bumps are the results of my fandoms being... Sort of niche I guess? There are a lot of mainstream anime- and game-fandoms that get some inquiries, but most of what I'm looking for aren't something people are actively looking for or interested in. Be that magical girls, mecha-fandoms or idols/music-related shows.

So yeah. Trying to gain my mojo back while engaging in writing that makes me the happiest at the moment. Again not saying I am not enjoying OC-plays I have going on, but currently my muse is deriving the pleasure from my filthy weeb cravings.

I don't know what else to write at the moment. I'm sorry for the long delays on my part. I hope to get back at everyone soon. Thank you all for the patience .

Here's two related songs by BMTH:​

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[Baka]

Hello again!​

Since condencing all this to a status update would be impossible I decided to do a journal entry.​

My availability next month​

​

Holidays are coming. I'm sure we all will be extremely busy during this time, but next month will be more busy for me than I had ever thought.

Some of the events that are going to happen are:

1. Two-day long metal festival on first and second day of December
2. On fifth I will go to visit my relatives. Will be there a week. After this I'll go to a lan-party hosted by my friend
3. I have school on few days, which makes me unavailable on those days.
4. From 22th to the end of the year I will be travelling all over place. Visiting my grandmother for the holidays, after that visit my friends, and after that will be heading to spend a new year with another friend-group and return home on the 1st day of the next year.
5. Grinding my anime secret-santa event. Halfway done, but still a lot to watch.

How will I be able to reply?​

I'm able to squeeze in replies every now and then... Probably. At least I should be available on OOC if nothing else, but that also might take some time. I'll start to go through my backlog once I return home and have had a breather from the travelling, but you should all get a reply from me to the RPs before Christmas. That much I'm fairly confident promising to you all.

The fear of being a bad partner due to not really getting my replies out has admittedly started to eat my muse out again, but currently writing replies to RPs I haven't replied yet so it's not like it's dying down like it did two months ago, but makes me a bit anxious admittedly.

That's all for now. Thank you for reading ​

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[Baka]

​

Hi there! Long time no update here!​

Since the Evangelion title-card maker was down I did an educated decision to switch a title card generator from another wonderful anime-series. If you guess what that is then I'll give you a virtual cookie or something like that, but if you just want the answer it's from Monogatari-series

Well Baka... How's your life?​

Is a question no-one asked, but I will reply regardless. As you might've seen from my various status updates it's been... Hectic to say the least. Was busy with school and also graduated, which is pretty neat! Been travelling WAY too much whether it's to see Godspeed You Black Emperor or just to visit my grandparents, and next week I'll be moving, and packing all those anime-figures. Three bookshelves worth of manga and 200+ LP-records safely is not an easy task, but I am managing. Fortunately the new apartment is just one kilometre away from my current one, but it's slightly bigger one so that's a plus.

On top of this all I've been struggling with depression. Instead of it being on/off it seems to be a more permanent state of mind. There are a lot of occasions where I feel joy and happiness, but then it usually defaults back to me feeling extremely lonely, sad and overall just bad and crappy, so we'll see how that goes. Being obsessed over BanG Dream! It's My Go!!!!! ship (Anon x Soyo) has brought some light to my life though lol.

How about roleplaying and all that jazz?​

I have been extremely slow with... Pretty much every RP I have going on. OOC-convos I've managed to reply much more quicker, but the act of getting myself down to write an actual creative response is always a little hurdle. I love all of my current ongoing RPs, and the partners that are still roleplaying with me are all extremely patient and understanding people whom I have had blast of roleplaying and chatting for the past half-a-year at least. Some even longer than that, some a little less than that. So if you're one of these partners then thank you! Thank you for being patient with me and thank you for creating enjoyable and fun roleplays with me! I can't wait to get to replying to all of them as soon as possible... Or write a starter on one or two I have promised to do so!

However this last year with it's ups and downs has been a learning experience in RP-wise as well, and thanks to the both great experiences and my own mistakes I have come to learn a few things!

So... What have I this past half-a-year or so?​

Some of these are really self-explanitory things, but better late than never right?

• If the chemistry isn't there just drop-out immediately

One of the biggest mistakes I did was to try and keep some RPs or plannings on life-support when the chemistry just wasn't there, which was extremely draining. These all started on a note where I wanted to start brainstorming, but after a message or two it was obvious that we were looking for different things or the joy of brainstorming just wasn't there for me.

• OOC is EXTREMELY important

One thing that's common with all of my still ongoing RPs is that the OOC is lively and engaging. With one of my partners we have gushed over Persona and anime, while with other we have shared a lot of music recommendations between ourselves just to name a few. I know that even a casual OOC not relating to the RP at hand is not for everyone, but this has been a huge help in keeping my partners on track what's going on and just keep the good vibes going. Enjoyable OOC makes the RP all the more enjoyable too, so if the OOC-vibes aren't there then there's a good chance that the RP will also suffer from it.

• Pace myself better

Biting more than I can chew has been a problem for me for a long time, and I think I finally have found the perfect amount of RPs for me, which is four. I currently have three active ones, one less active one and space for one more for fandom-cravings and such. This way I can manage all the RPs at relatively quickly (by my standards) and keep up with the one reply a week pace when I am feeling better.

• I don't really enjoy playing against male-characters

Odd one, but a huge discovery. This excludes fandoms since there are a lot of FxM ships that I like, but I am a huge sapphic-enjoyer, and have always been. All the ongoing RPs at the moment are FxF or FuxF and I'm loving it! There is one RP cooking where there'll be pairings from FxF to MxF and MxNb and whatnot, and I am also really excited for that as well!

So as you might've gathered from that last statement MxF isn't completely off the table, and non-binary folks like transmasc and transmale-characters are always a "yes" in my books, but playing against AMAB that isn't a feminine-one/femboy hasn't been all that fun for me in a while, so as some of you might've seen I have changed my focus to sapphic-pairings, and I wil lreserve traditional MxF-pairings to fandom ideas or some really great OC-ideas.

As for playing AMAB-character of any kind I am more open to, but again it's not my priority.

What the future holds?​

Honestly not sure. Currently enjoying just chilling as I try to look for work, if that does not pan-out then I just further my education some more. Probably aiming to study languages, namely English and Japanese in university, but it would be great if I could put these website-making skills in-use for a few years before considering that option.

For immediate future I try to survive the moving with my partner, then go to visit a local anime-convention, after which I will pay visit to my grandma. Hopefully the summer helps with my depression at least to some degree, but if not I think I have to get help for it once again.

As for RP I try to be more active, keep my search going for those obscure animanga fandom RPs and that same-old stuff.

And that's all for now!​

If you read all of this then thank you! Or even if you just skimmed through what the bro's yapping about then thank you too! I wish you all a wonderful summer and see you around the forum!

 

[Revelations]

Hi there! I know the title says comments are welcome, but, if my comment is undesirable for any reason just let me know and I will readily remove it!

First of all, congratulations on graduation! Traveling also sounds fun, and moving is also a super arduous task so hopefully that goes well.

I've been struggling with depression. Instead of it being on/off it seems to be a more permanent state of mind.

As someone who suffers from long term depression, boy do I feel this so hard. I can be having a perfectly good day and yet still feel pretty bad about things. It can affect my RP mood heavily as well, which can make some things torturous! I wish I had some super awesome advice to give out here but I am afraid I don't know if anything I say can help. Just know you're not alone in feeling this way at times, and I also sympathize with all the difficulties that come with it.

I love all of my current ongoing RPs, and the partners that are still roleplaying with me are all extremely patient and understanding people whom I have had blast of roleplaying and chatting for the past half-a-year at least.

Patient and understanding RP partners rule and I am so appreciative of my partners who can understand my quirks and that I am not the most reliable person at times but do try to get back at people. I love my partners. I'm glad you have some real awesome peeps to write with as well!

Regarding your lessons learned, #1 is probably one that hits the hardest for some people when they learn it. I learned it some time ago, in that I can't please every desire a partner might have. And in a way, that is 'OK', of course. But when it comes a point where I feel I'm straining everything just for a smidgen of RP happiness... Well I've thought about making an RP version of this meme but I think the vibes from the general meme hit home too. 'Real winners quit' might sound silly or stupid but sometimes, you just realize something isn't gonna work and you need to focus on the things that will or can work.

I hope your day is going super awesomely well when you read this!

 

[Baka]

Comments are always welcome! And hope your day is going great as well when you read this too!

First of all, congratulations on graduation! Traveling also sounds fun, and moving is also a super arduous task so hopefully that goes well.

Thank you!

As someone who suffers from long term depression, boy do I feel this so hard. I can be having a perfectly good day and yet still feel pretty bad about things. It can affect my RP mood heavily as well, which can make some things torturous! I wish I had some super awesome advice to give out here but I am afraid I don't know if anything I say can help. Just know you're not alone in feeling this way at times, and I also sympathize with all the difficulties that come with it.

Yeah the way depression affects roleplaying especially is a cause of a little stress to say the least. Have agonized over missed deadlines (which is why I nowadays won't even try to estimate how long it'll take for me to get a post out) and not just being able to muster anything on the figurative paper.

I'm also sorry to hear that you're suffering from it as well, and likewise I 100% symphatize with you!

Patient and understanding RP partners rule and I am so appreciative of my partners who can understand my quirks and that I am not the most reliable person at times but do try to get back at people. I love my partners. I'm glad you have some real awesome peeps to write with as well!

They certainly do! One of the best things on this forum is that there are so many people and I've finally found people who seem to be on the same level when it comes to roleplaying with me, which has made the hobby much more fun for me again. I don't have to stress if the RP will go on if I stay offline for a few days or get messages "Not interested anymore :c" if I am away for 20 minutes hah hah!

Regarding your lessons learned, #1 is probably one that hits the hardest for some people when they learn it. I learned it some time ago, in that I can't please every desire a partner might have. And in a way, that is 'OK', of course. But when it comes a point where I feel I'm straining everything just for a smidgen of RP happiness... Well I've thought about making an RP version of this meme but I think the vibes from the general meme hit home too. 'Real winners quit' might sound silly or stupid but sometimes, you just realize something isn't gonna work and you need to focus on the things that will or can work.

As weird as that sounds realizing that I don't have to go along with everything was a huge relieve hah hah! Saying "no" and bowing out has been surprisingly hard for me, and I partly account that to what kind of environment I got introduced to this hobby, where most of the time declining led to a passive agressiveness at best, and hostile threats and the likes at worst, and since I wish to avoid all of that and making my depressed ass even more depressed I have just grin and bare with it till my planning partner gets bored, or till I get an answer that I feel like I can't really reply (for example just one-word reply) and just move along. Gladly this sort of forum environment feels much more safer, and I feel that I won't get verbally chewed to pieces even if I say no.

I definitely recommend making an RP version of that meme. More RP memes are always good!

 

[Baka]

Warning! Venting ahead!

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Hi again! ​

Hopefully summer has treated you well so far dear reader! For me it has been a mixed back. A lot of fun things have happened, but I've also been generally just not in the good headspace, and this post is sort of venting it all out and putting it all in the written form.

State of things right now​

Simply put... It's shit. Outside of some highlights like the anime convention in which I had amazing time and visiting my grandparents, where I could just put on future-funk albums on repeat from my headphone and just sit hours reading manga were the highlights of this summer for me. Hell. At one point as I was reading Shugo Chara I just started crying because I actually felt happy. Aside from that my summer has just been one gray paste. I do things I enjoy, but when they aren't distracting me I just feel bad as hell. Almost every morning I just wake up feeling even more and more depressed. I've noticed getting more easily irritated and just focusing on the bad side of everything, which in turn makes me general mood even worse and my sorry ass even more depressed. Currently just waiting for autumn when I can hit the health-care center up and ask them to hook me with a therapist, doctor or anyone who might be able to help me this time.

If anyone wants to recommend cute, fluffy or otherwise comfy anime/manga/manhwa for me I'd love to take suggestions!

I have watched and read A LOT of stuff, but there might be a gem that I have missed that's waiting for me to check it out. Recently The Dangers In My Heart has been a series that's tickled my romance bone quite well, and for a "Will they won't they" shounen romcom it's actually really good. Also Sailor Moon and Tropical Rouge Precure have made sure that I get a healthy dose of comfy... And in case of Sailor Moon not-always-so-comfy magical girl action daily (Also goated Kunihiko Ikuhara directing current season of Sailor Moon I am on is just the best. Love this guys directing style so much).

Roleplaying​

Currently I am at the really weird place with my roleplaying. I have a lot of drive to write, and honestly wish for even more escapism via writing, but at the same time I am really picky and kind of dreading to start anything new. My luck of finding partners haven't really been all that great, which isn't all that surprising. After all it's summer and people have things to do, so that automatically shrinks down a pool of possible people quite significantly, and the general interest to sapphic RPs seems to be quite low at least based on how many inquiries I get.

I do also feel that I've pretty much exhausted this forum empty. I absolutely love this place, and so far this has been the best site that has been bet suited for my RP needs, but I also feel that there probably is not any more possible partners for me to find, or for them to find me. I think that I've tried roleplaying or planning with most, and most, with few exceptions never got started or were dropped by me or my partner, by consensus or by ghosting, which obviosuly makes it awkward to poke back and ask if the person is open for something new, double that if it was me who dropped the ball. So I do feel that I have burned a lot of bridges that could've resulted in fun roleplays.

It is beginning to feel that I really fit in nowhere with my RP style, pairings, interests, fandoms etc. And every time I feel like I find someone it never pans out. The thought of honestly just quitting has lingered in my mind, but I generally love writing with people, so that's a huge conundrum as well.

Also finding new avenues to try roleplaying is not easy. Discord relies too much on instant back-and-forth, and have even gotten messages where my partners say that they aren't willing to continue brainstorming or RP unless I am online at the same time as them (makes it really fun with timezones and all that lol), F-list is just a fucking dumpsterfire. A lot of great profiles, but at least based on my experience the plays rely too much on smut, and I just can't do instant smut with anyone unless there's a really good plot reason for it. Reddit based on what I've heard is even more fo a dumpsterfire, and as I've tried to look other RP forums none of them seem to scratch the itch like BMR does. Tried Elliquiy, but also found out that the site isn't really for me.

For now I will hang-on to roleplaying and see where this all goes. If it's starting to ever feel more like a job than a fun activity I know to take a break, but currently I have the drive to write, but finding suitable partners to do that with is pretty tough, and hasn't gotten any easier.

For those waiting for my replies... They are coming. I write them slowly but surely when I have a chance to do so. Literally just my depressed ass taking it's sweet time.

I guess that's that for now. Sorry for the incoherent venting. Hopefully next update isn't as sad as this one!​

 

[Baka]

In case someone is interested where the titles of my RT come from this will be a message that I update with the references to songs they are from!

I change the title after I have not bumped thread for at least a week while bumping it next time.

Also a handy and dandy list to remember which songs I've already used.​

• F-RT (2.8.2024) - Bad Idea by Blind Channel
• NB-RT (2.8.2024) - THE DEATH OF PIECE OF MIND by Bad Omens
• F-RT (15.8.2024) - Whenever I'm Dreaming by One Desire
• F-RT (24.8.2024) - Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
• NB-RT (26.8.2024) - The Sun Still In Me by Bloodred Hourglass
• F-RT (9.9.2024) - Guilty Night, Guilty Kiss by Guilty Kiss
• NB-RT (9.9.2024) - New Romantic Sailors by Guilty Kiss
  
  ​

 

[Baka]

Fun little template for an RP. MIght use as a prompt or some shit (NSFW)

Mei Nakajima
Student - 18-years-old
@ MeiBae on social media
​

Sup peeps! Mei here (*・ω・)ﾉ. Your bubbly gal with a tan and bleached hair! 110% gyaru with an attitude, so if you mistake me for a common slut you will regret it! (＃`Д´)

Here's how this goes: You take me on a date, pay for my shit and a nice little flat-rate for my totes amazeballs company, and if I like you enough (or if you dig out enough Shibusawas) we can take our date to a love hotel. Nothing is free, so better prepare some cold hard cash so this girl can have some more fun! (＾▽＾) . Open for kinks, but those cost extra of course. I discuss with pricing when we get to that point.

NOTE: Any physical contact without my permission or contact is forbidden... Unless you want to be impotent or have your cunt sewn shut (＃`Д´)

As long as you follow these rules I guarantee to be a great and cute date company! Even without anything pervy-stuff, so HMU if you're interested and let's get something going! ⸜(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)⸝

Favorites:
food: Anything spicy! I love cakes too
Drink: Bubble tea or energy drinks (by me a Strong Zero(s) and I love you!)
Movie: Howl's Moving Castle
Book: Does manga count?
Series: Uhh...Kaichou wa Maid-Sama, Sailor Moon and Kekkon Dekinai Otoko?
Song: This, this and this​

 

[Baka]

Hi there! Long time no yapping!​

It's already autumn... Or honestly almost a winter here. First snow already fell... And melted. Days are short and nights are long and cold, which means it's time for my yearly seasonal depression and general lethargy that comes with it! Yay!

Anyway that's not all I am here to talk about. Just wanted to give a general life update and sort things out here a bit. If you for some reason have read the previous posts you know what there are about already.

Current state of things​

As mentioned seasonal depression is a bitch, and one of the key factors affecting me. Feel generally more tired, melancholic and stuff, though since this year has been one depression rollercoaster I need to start considering the possibility that the depression in general has come back. I will probably try to get an appointment with a professional at the beginning of the next year and see if I get teh diagnosis again.

Besides that I started a crash-course on Javascript and React! It lasts till December and has been... Extremely taxing to say the least. We go through areas that have their own dedicated university courses in a day or two. However the education is high-quality and the teachers make sure no-one is left behind so while it has been taxing and partially affected my depressed mood (sorted my situation out with the teacher so no need to worry about that anymore either) I am excited that I can expand my tool-set with website building and software developing and maybe hopefully get an actual well-paying job at some point.

As for non-serious things it has been same-old same-old. Gaming, anime, manga/manhwa/manhua, music. You know. Stuff I always do. This autumn has been great for music though and a lot of amazing records have dropped new Devin Townsend, Swallow The Sun, Blood Incantation, Dark Tranquility, Cemetary Skyline, Alcest, King Gizzard, Leprous, Zeal & Ardor, Nails and Unto Others records to name a few.

I've also once again fell head-over-heels for Love Live! I absolutely love the franchse and genuinely just rewatching the anime, listening to songs, shipping characters as well as finally giving a shot to Link Like Love Live have been a few rays of sunshine in my life.

Roleplaying​

Past months have been relatively good in terms of roleplaying. My replies have been... Somewhat consistent, and I have a handful of new and old partners I really enjoy playing with!

However the drawbacks of this hobby are also starting to get to me slowly but surely. Hard to find people who share similar interests and fandoms, the usual uncertainty of people just fading on you despite everything seemingly going well, not really getting any traction for the new ideas or getting people pitching something that is only remotely close of what I am looking and the feeling that I've exhausted this place from all the possible partners is starting to pile up and eat my motivation and enthusiasm I regained during summer.

I am starting to consider other venues of searching company in addition to BMR, which has been my main roleplay site ever since I found it, but most other attempts have not panned-out. I do think that I am too "anime/anime-style focused" for this place, so need to check out if I can find some place where there's even a little chance to find interest for my niche fandoms or my ideas that really don't garner any interest here.

That's all for now. I think I will make some update when holidays approach, but till that stay warm this time of year!​

 

[Revelations]

As mentioned seasonal depression is a bitch, and one of the key factors affecting me. Feel generally more tired, melancholic and stuff, though since this year has been one depression rollercoaster I need to start considering the possibility that the depression in general has come back. I will probably try to get an appointment with a professional at the beginning of the next year and see if I get teh diagnosis again.

Hey!

As someone who deals with seasonal and general depression as well as going through very rough times ATM, I just wanted to say I hope things are going okay for you. I would for sure get in touch with a professional when you can, it's always a good idea to get started on these issues early but I know not extra l everyone has the luxury to do so

 

[Baka]

As someone who deals with seasonal and general depression as well as going through very rough times ATM, I just wanted to say I hope things are going okay for you. I would for sure get in touch with a professional when you can, it's always a good idea to get started on these issues early but I know not extra l everyone has the luxury to do so

Hiya there!

Seen glimpses of your current situation on the forum and wish you all the best and hope things get better for you soon as well.

Gladly the mental health services here are free, or have been. Not sure if there's some age-gap where it becomes something you need to pay for them. The tricky part here is to actually get in the services. You have to go through many hoops and loops, and since the mental health experts here are overworked and understaffed it was tricky the first time I went and got help and my last diagnosis. But will definitely see what I can do at the beginning of the next year. Thank you for the comment and encouragement . Taking things slowly and trying to engage more with things I really enjoy. Roleplaying being one of those of course.

 

[Revelations]

Hiya there!

Seen glimpses of your current situation on the forum and wish you all the best and hope things get better for you soon as well.

Gladly the mental health services here are free, or have been. Not sure if there's some age-gap where it becomes something you need to pay for them. The tricky part here is to actually get in the services. You have to go through many hoops and loops, and since the mental health experts here are overworked and understaffed it was tricky the first time I went and got help and my last diagnosis. But will definitely see what I can do at the beginning of the next year. Thank you for the comment and encouragement . Taking things slowly and trying to engage more with things I really enjoy. Roleplaying being one of those of course.

Hey, thank you for the kind words back! I don't wanna take the spotlight from you/your dilemma though haha.

Yeah, mental health professionals being under staffed and over worked is a universal constant. God it sucks. I'm glad it's free for you and I hope you can get in without to much pain!