EDDE
Logic better pray I don't kick its ass too!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2017
Chocolate eyes closed loosely as a free hand brushed back raven bangs and ran through the spirit detective's hair. He'd run out of product to keep it gelled back a long time ago, and had given up looking for new material to use not long after that. There had been a horrible incident that had involved tree sap. He'd tried honey too. Too bad he'd been worried about bees being drawn to him over it and not the bear that had become absolutely enamored with him and nearly given him a bald spot with all the licking and chomping it had done. It was a good thing he wasn't scared of bears. Man, he really missed his hair gel but honestly it was nothing compared to everything else that had been lost because of him.
A deep breath was taken in shakily, but he couldn't bring himself to let it out or open the rice paper door that separated him from where most of the other occupants of the temple were currently gathered out in the courtyard. It caught in his chest and simply sat there for a long moment as he stared at that door and listened to the conversations going on behind it. Complaints of hunger were perfectly normal even though they happened more frequently than not lately; at least this time it was because it was actually dinner time. Well, the meager dinner Shiori, Yukina, and whoever else was helping them tonight could scrape together for everyone was nearly done being put together, anyway. And really, all he could catch of any of the conversations flowing in the large area behind the rice paper door were complaints; complaints about everything.
There were even some silly, stupid little whines about missing this or that, or wanting something or other just like his own.... Except they weren't really stupid. And there was nothing little about them. And just as it had been on his way out to the cool shack their supplies were stored in, all manner of depressing thoughts raced and settled into his mind.
There were familiar thoughts. Worries over their ragtag 'army' members ran as rampant as ever. Thoughts about what could happen the next time they went out, or even what could happen to the lot of them at any moment were too dark. In pushing them away however, a far more familiar one lodged in their place. One that he had so much trouble shaking off for even a moment that that silly, childish nature of his didn't flash itself nearly as often as it used to; not even slightly as often, really.
If it weren't for me none of this would have happened. If it weren't for me none of them would have to deal with this. If I'd just been smarter--If I'da just been more mature--more ready--faster--better--stronger... If I just hadn't quit. If I hadn't backed off no matter what. I could have--I could have... The list went on; on and on and on. And it swirled around in his mind over and over and over. New reasons popped up from time to time. New thoughts and images of how horrible things were now, and how much better they would have been if only he hadn't failed so miserably at his job. What he should have done differently; how he should have just kept going even if he'd died trying to beat that bastard down.
His loss to Sensui had spelled so much doom and gloom for them all. Everything he did now to help the situation further was just a drop in the bucket compared to what he could have done then.
Internal berating and lashings were a new religious practice. He did everything he could to keep them to himself though. Hell, he barely ever even shared them with his lover. Then again Kurama had his own job now; so many of his own things to worry about all thanks to even more failure on Yusuke's part. He didn't need the added stress of Yusuke's consistent practice in pity parties on top of it all...
Besides, it was about fucking time to turn things around and throw a different sort of party. That was right. He'd gone to the shed to grab all this crap in order to change the mood around this heap. Shaking his head sharply through a squeeze of his eyes he did his best to throw all that negative bullshit aside in that moment. And taking another breath, picked the crate he'd been carrying before back up, and shoved aside the door with his knee to burst through the frame with a smile so big it hurt and that exuberantly cheery tone of his.
"All right, that's it!" The hollered exclamation drew everyone's attention instantly. Their faces shifted fluidly from horrified shock to many bursting grins as they noticed what was in his hands. "I'm sick of the bitchy mood around this place so we're gonna change it up already!"
Kuwabara, who had been interacting somewhat quietly yet boastfully with Yukina only had a skeptical look to offer despite the overwhelming reaction of others. "Hasn't anyone ever told you ya can't drink your problems away Urameshi? Don't be such a lame-o." Although even as he said as much, he was moving across the room to look over the selection the detective hefted onto the table.
"Shut up Kuwabara," he snorted back as he picked up and tossed him a bottle that the large oaf had far too hard of a time juggling into a full catch. He beamed his cockiness in droves; a feat only Yusuke could pull off so incredibly well. "Don't forget I'm the leader, so you gotta do what I say."
"Nu-uh," came the childish shot back. "You ain't the leader no more, Urameshi. Kurama is, remember? We tried that whole thing and figured out you couldn't lead us outta a paper-friggin-bag once we all met up."
Grabbing another large bottle and offering it a short flip both to and from the neck of the object, Yusuke didn't skip a single beat; that cockiness shone abound as he moved past the ginger and knocked him over the head with it before shoving it into an orge's hands. "Eat me," he offered with just a little huffiness in his tone. "Kurama might be in charge of everything else, but I'm the leader of fun. And as the leader of fun, I'm sayin' shut the Hell up, quit yer bitchin', and whatever else is goin' on. Tonight, we're gonna get stupid and turn our frowns upside down, got it? Now everyone grab some hooch and make with the merry, cause who ever I find breakin' the rules and not havin' any fun is gonna get the worst punishment I can think of off the toppuh my God damn head."
The reaction the detective's rousing order had was almost instant. The courtyard erupted into rousing laughter. First it was at him for his useless threat. But it turned into a bout of merriment and jokes (mostly at his expense) that shifted the entire mood of everything and everyone in the area. Even Genkai looked a little less like a hag waiting for death in that weird way of hers as she mocked her former student before moving on to tease others in the area. Conversations picked up and alcohol was grabbed. And it soon turned to cheering and singing almost as fluidly as he had hoped it would.
He stood in the door frame for a few minutes watching as an infectious smile passed over his lips. This was way better than what it had been a few minutes ago. And he was really glad they could all find moments like this even after he'd basically ruined everyone's lives...
The smile faded and he slipped from the patio unnoticed. They could have their fun. He wasn't worried about things getting too out of hand either considering the company. There were plenty of non-drinkers in the bunch in the first place, and most of these people were pretty damn good natured to begin with. He wasn't worried about them mostly because Kuwabara would have things handled if nothing else; but also because chocolate eyes were glued to the floor and a frown had etched itself across chapped lips as he made his way toward the thing he was actually worried about; the operations room, or rather, the person housed inside it currently.
A deep breath was taken in shakily, but he couldn't bring himself to let it out or open the rice paper door that separated him from where most of the other occupants of the temple were currently gathered out in the courtyard. It caught in his chest and simply sat there for a long moment as he stared at that door and listened to the conversations going on behind it. Complaints of hunger were perfectly normal even though they happened more frequently than not lately; at least this time it was because it was actually dinner time. Well, the meager dinner Shiori, Yukina, and whoever else was helping them tonight could scrape together for everyone was nearly done being put together, anyway. And really, all he could catch of any of the conversations flowing in the large area behind the rice paper door were complaints; complaints about everything.
There were even some silly, stupid little whines about missing this or that, or wanting something or other just like his own.... Except they weren't really stupid. And there was nothing little about them. And just as it had been on his way out to the cool shack their supplies were stored in, all manner of depressing thoughts raced and settled into his mind.
There were familiar thoughts. Worries over their ragtag 'army' members ran as rampant as ever. Thoughts about what could happen the next time they went out, or even what could happen to the lot of them at any moment were too dark. In pushing them away however, a far more familiar one lodged in their place. One that he had so much trouble shaking off for even a moment that that silly, childish nature of his didn't flash itself nearly as often as it used to; not even slightly as often, really.
If it weren't for me none of this would have happened. If it weren't for me none of them would have to deal with this. If I'd just been smarter--If I'da just been more mature--more ready--faster--better--stronger... If I just hadn't quit. If I hadn't backed off no matter what. I could have--I could have... The list went on; on and on and on. And it swirled around in his mind over and over and over. New reasons popped up from time to time. New thoughts and images of how horrible things were now, and how much better they would have been if only he hadn't failed so miserably at his job. What he should have done differently; how he should have just kept going even if he'd died trying to beat that bastard down.
His loss to Sensui had spelled so much doom and gloom for them all. Everything he did now to help the situation further was just a drop in the bucket compared to what he could have done then.
Internal berating and lashings were a new religious practice. He did everything he could to keep them to himself though. Hell, he barely ever even shared them with his lover. Then again Kurama had his own job now; so many of his own things to worry about all thanks to even more failure on Yusuke's part. He didn't need the added stress of Yusuke's consistent practice in pity parties on top of it all...
Besides, it was about fucking time to turn things around and throw a different sort of party. That was right. He'd gone to the shed to grab all this crap in order to change the mood around this heap. Shaking his head sharply through a squeeze of his eyes he did his best to throw all that negative bullshit aside in that moment. And taking another breath, picked the crate he'd been carrying before back up, and shoved aside the door with his knee to burst through the frame with a smile so big it hurt and that exuberantly cheery tone of his.
"All right, that's it!" The hollered exclamation drew everyone's attention instantly. Their faces shifted fluidly from horrified shock to many bursting grins as they noticed what was in his hands. "I'm sick of the bitchy mood around this place so we're gonna change it up already!"
Kuwabara, who had been interacting somewhat quietly yet boastfully with Yukina only had a skeptical look to offer despite the overwhelming reaction of others. "Hasn't anyone ever told you ya can't drink your problems away Urameshi? Don't be such a lame-o." Although even as he said as much, he was moving across the room to look over the selection the detective hefted onto the table.
"Shut up Kuwabara," he snorted back as he picked up and tossed him a bottle that the large oaf had far too hard of a time juggling into a full catch. He beamed his cockiness in droves; a feat only Yusuke could pull off so incredibly well. "Don't forget I'm the leader, so you gotta do what I say."
"Nu-uh," came the childish shot back. "You ain't the leader no more, Urameshi. Kurama is, remember? We tried that whole thing and figured out you couldn't lead us outta a paper-friggin-bag once we all met up."
Grabbing another large bottle and offering it a short flip both to and from the neck of the object, Yusuke didn't skip a single beat; that cockiness shone abound as he moved past the ginger and knocked him over the head with it before shoving it into an orge's hands. "Eat me," he offered with just a little huffiness in his tone. "Kurama might be in charge of everything else, but I'm the leader of fun. And as the leader of fun, I'm sayin' shut the Hell up, quit yer bitchin', and whatever else is goin' on. Tonight, we're gonna get stupid and turn our frowns upside down, got it? Now everyone grab some hooch and make with the merry, cause who ever I find breakin' the rules and not havin' any fun is gonna get the worst punishment I can think of off the toppuh my God damn head."
The reaction the detective's rousing order had was almost instant. The courtyard erupted into rousing laughter. First it was at him for his useless threat. But it turned into a bout of merriment and jokes (mostly at his expense) that shifted the entire mood of everything and everyone in the area. Even Genkai looked a little less like a hag waiting for death in that weird way of hers as she mocked her former student before moving on to tease others in the area. Conversations picked up and alcohol was grabbed. And it soon turned to cheering and singing almost as fluidly as he had hoped it would.
He stood in the door frame for a few minutes watching as an infectious smile passed over his lips. This was way better than what it had been a few minutes ago. And he was really glad they could all find moments like this even after he'd basically ruined everyone's lives...
The smile faded and he slipped from the patio unnoticed. They could have their fun. He wasn't worried about things getting too out of hand either considering the company. There were plenty of non-drinkers in the bunch in the first place, and most of these people were pretty damn good natured to begin with. He wasn't worried about them mostly because Kuwabara would have things handled if nothing else; but also because chocolate eyes were glued to the floor and a frown had etched itself across chapped lips as he made his way toward the thing he was actually worried about; the operations room, or rather, the person housed inside it currently.
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