And the Main-Reason, why I finally posted a journal...
Very Short Version:
I did an Oopsie. Need a Break. BrB.
Slightly Longer, but Non-rambling Version:
Since I'm having a real hard time writing at the moment, and my usual approach of "Lurk around and try to force words out of your brain" and "Overburden yourself with more Rps, because you just need this awesome idea to get your creativity flowing" don't quite work out so well (Who knew?), I decided to take a break. Nothing too long, probably just a week or two, to clear my head.
To all the people I'm currently writing with (well, the people who I have conversations with, where I stare angrily at my half-finished replies): I'm really sorry, you're all wonderful and patient people and this is wholly on me.
Long, Rambly Version:
Soo...After returning from my last hiatus, I was actually pretty motivated. Because I really like writing and my partners, both new ones and those who stuck through my regular disappearances are incredibly awesome, kind and patient people (Also talented and delightful pervs in a non-creepy way :3)
Now, maybe I got a bit over-excited there and a smarter person than me, with a bit more balanced brain chemistry would probably have gone "Ooh boy, I think I bit off a bit more than I can chew. Let's slow down a bit."
Sadly, I'm (sometimes) not a very smart person with a not terribly well balanced brain chemistry. Instead I'm an easily exciteably bean with poor impulse control. So instead my brain went "You should just try to force yourself to write, because your partners deserve a timely reply. Unlike you, who doesn't deserve such cool writing partners." and the aforementioned poor impulse control lead me to the absolutely genius idea, to take on more rps, because "I just need to get a fresh idea, to get my muse going."
As I said: Sometimes, I'm not a terribly smart person.
So I spend the last week(s) mostly lurking around here and angrily trying to force my dumb-ass brain to make words happen. Which wasn't terribly productive and even worse: No fun.
And if writing isn't fun anymore, that kind of defeats the whole purpose of this thing we're doing here, right?
Also communication is hard, which is why I decided to write this post. A) it spares me the hassle to write multiple, personalized versions of essentially the same message and b) I can trick my anxiety into believing that I'm not actually communicating my personal shortcomings with anyone, I'm just screaming into the void, which makes this a lot easier for me.
Anyways, I have decided to take a short break. A week, maybe two, to get clear my head. Get away, maybe even outside, touch grass, as the kids say nowadays...Or just walk into the forest and scream at mushrooms. I might even do some non-writey creative work, which I miiiight even show off here. Who knows?
And after that I'll probably do a sort of "soft relaunch": Give all of my threads an overhaul, cut down the number of active roleplays to something I can manage, clean out my inbox...
If I don't get back to you, please don't be mad. As mentioned above, thanks to some wonky brain chemistry, I have a really, really hard time communicating some stuff and in all honestly, I don't really want to make this the place, where I work this kind of issue. Just know, that it's nothing personal, just me being difficult.
And to my partners: I'm very sorry to leave you hanging like this, but I want you to know, that you're all really cool, kind, patient and overall awesome peeps! And I hope to see you around again and maybe, gods willing, even manage to get some story actually like going on a regular basis. A ghost can dream, right?
Now I'll skiddaddle and try this whole relaxing-thing I've heard so much about...
See you in a week (or two...If it takes longer for me to get back on track, I'll post an update here!)
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