Journal of my Random crap and feelings

[raizu kagurai]

With all the things of bull and stupid things piling up, I feel the need to write about it somewhere rather than let it fester in my head and drive me to madness. So feel free to pay attention, read or ifgnore, does not matter to me.

 

[raizu kagurai]

1/15/23

In the past 3 years give or take, My grandmother has passed, my Father (him being 45 and myself at the time 28 or 27) passed as well, And with my transfer to a new store with my job, one that has me working ENTIRELY by myself bot my mind and my body have been at its end, from aches, pains and finding myself non motivated...Overall just worn out. and now I've gotten transferred again, kicked into a new store by someone I have Seniority over.


And to add on top of it all, my coworker tried hooking me up with her best friend. Which we had started texting, talking and all talking about a few things here and there and thought things had been going good, sort of. And yet ever since asking if she'd wanna meet, and her seeming to agree and everything, I started suggesting ideas on where to meet, be it movies, bowling, or just some drinks or coffee. and yet ever since asking about meeting she has been....distant...taking hours to respond, if at all, sometimes not until the very next morning when I text with a simple good morning, but then after asking about meeting again.....silence...


And while it has only been a few days since talking, I just figure its just easier and better to get to know someone in person rather than impersonal as through texts. But feel like I did something wrong, but even then don't want to ask such a thing and turn out to be wrong.
And yet people around me wonder why I'm 31, single and keep all to myself...Starting to really think and believe most woman are not worth the effort....They can have men groveling at their feet begging for their love and attention without much work......and yet and have to jump through hoops and deal with the anxiety and such of hoping to get their attention long enough to talk.
Find it funny though....I thought that talking to a 35 yar old woman would mean playing these stupid games of ring around wouldn't be a thing...and yet here we are...
So lets see...just how much further down this hole 2023 will drag me down into it...Surely I couldn't possibly fall much further...