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Super-Earth
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2012
So, been awhile since I've had a journal up... I went through the last one and realized it was a bit over-the-top from a younger version of my myself (I've been here for over a decade now it seems). So I deleted it last year and decided if I ever wanted to journal again, I'd just make a new one.
And...
I've always had a bit of an issue with the 'ghost culture' we have established here on the website. In the beginning, I was really against it and would personally seek out people that I would hope wouldn't ghost given the conversations we had beforehand. And, while it still happened, I came to the realization that ghosting is a tool that people use to deal with situations when they are overwhelmed, not interested, or even just have too much going on. That ghosting, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing all the time and that it can be useful to deal with situations that are beyond our control, or maybe that we don't want to deal with.
So, with that being said, I changed my perspective on things. If I felt I was being ghosted I would do several things, depending on the medium. It always starts with communication, and email or message, and then waiting a bit for a response. If no response follows, and I'm on the site, I simply let the message slowly time out of my inbox and if that person reaches out at any point in the future I'm always willing to continue playing. I do something similar with offsite roleplays, except that I will shut down the server, after taking a backup, and unfriend the person if I don't hear from them in a timely manner. That way no progress is lost if they reach out again via the website and I don't spend my day staring at a server that is probably never going to get another response in my lifetime.
Normally this works. Typically, if I'm not getting a response and there's some underlying issue, I get a PM and we discuss what's up and go back to playing (this doesn't happen often, but it does) because I've come to not see ghosting as anything but a coping mechanism and realize people are people, not just bots that are here to write with me.
And then we get the <1% that don't communicate with me after I reach out to them for several days, then when I go through my process -immediately- contact me and personally attack me... trying to make judgement calls about me as a person or my lifestyle and generally being a monster on the internet. Basically, someone who thinks I'm there to be their personal story-writer who they can shelve for a bit and then, without communication or response, just force to write with them again. And when they find out I've made an executive decision and closed out something (while taking a backup) they immediately go for personal attacks... when they don't know me at all.
That's when the ignore button gets involved.
I understand why we don't have the ability to 'review' our fellow 'writers' here. I really do. That would devolve into a toxic mess. But sometimes, OH SOMETIMES, I wish I could do just that and share what's been sent to me to the public just to give them fair warning.
I digress though.
The main point of this is for me to make sure everyone who has ever played with me and had to ghost me for some reason or another knows: I am always happy to start back up, or write something new with you when you decide you have the time...
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T PERSONALLY ATTACK ME...
If you do that to me or someone else:
Enjoy your stories and have a happy Thursday everyone!
And...
I've always had a bit of an issue with the 'ghost culture' we have established here on the website. In the beginning, I was really against it and would personally seek out people that I would hope wouldn't ghost given the conversations we had beforehand. And, while it still happened, I came to the realization that ghosting is a tool that people use to deal with situations when they are overwhelmed, not interested, or even just have too much going on. That ghosting, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing all the time and that it can be useful to deal with situations that are beyond our control, or maybe that we don't want to deal with.
So, with that being said, I changed my perspective on things. If I felt I was being ghosted I would do several things, depending on the medium. It always starts with communication, and email or message, and then waiting a bit for a response. If no response follows, and I'm on the site, I simply let the message slowly time out of my inbox and if that person reaches out at any point in the future I'm always willing to continue playing. I do something similar with offsite roleplays, except that I will shut down the server, after taking a backup, and unfriend the person if I don't hear from them in a timely manner. That way no progress is lost if they reach out again via the website and I don't spend my day staring at a server that is probably never going to get another response in my lifetime.
Normally this works. Typically, if I'm not getting a response and there's some underlying issue, I get a PM and we discuss what's up and go back to playing (this doesn't happen often, but it does) because I've come to not see ghosting as anything but a coping mechanism and realize people are people, not just bots that are here to write with me.
And then we get the <1% that don't communicate with me after I reach out to them for several days, then when I go through my process -immediately- contact me and personally attack me... trying to make judgement calls about me as a person or my lifestyle and generally being a monster on the internet. Basically, someone who thinks I'm there to be their personal story-writer who they can shelve for a bit and then, without communication or response, just force to write with them again. And when they find out I've made an executive decision and closed out something (while taking a backup) they immediately go for personal attacks... when they don't know me at all.
That's when the ignore button gets involved.
I understand why we don't have the ability to 'review' our fellow 'writers' here. I really do. That would devolve into a toxic mess. But sometimes, OH SOMETIMES, I wish I could do just that and share what's been sent to me to the public just to give them fair warning.
I digress though.
The main point of this is for me to make sure everyone who has ever played with me and had to ghost me for some reason or another knows: I am always happy to start back up, or write something new with you when you decide you have the time...
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T PERSONALLY ATTACK ME...
If you do that to me or someone else:
Enjoy your stories and have a happy Thursday everyone!
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