Wish granted. You have been introduced the technology that is video call.
I may have been way too amused by this LMAO. This is still loop-hole-able imo, but hey, I gave it a shot.
Contract for Wish
Section 1-001 Preamble
You and ƒeral, on this fourth day of January, 2023, mutually agree and covenant as follows:
Wherefore, for good and valuable consideration, you agree to be bound, without exception, by all terms, clauses, and sections of this contract, in granting ƒeral's wish.
Section 1-002 Definitions
As used in this contract, the following terms shall have the following definitions, and shall be understood in the same manner as understood by ƒeral. The entirety of this contract shall be interpreted and understood, in the same manner as ƒeral interprets and understands this contract.
A. You = entity granting the wish and any agent thereof
B. Wisher = ƒeral
C. ƒeral = an existence understood by my intent, will, and full present faculties, and only by my intent, will, and full present faculties
D. Contract = the document as created by ƒeral and as intended by ƒeral, with any defect, preexisting or otherwise, such as typos, interpreted and understood in the manner intended by ƒeral.
Section 1-002 Stipulations
A. If you are unable or unwilling to fulfill any portion of this contract , you shall not grant ƒeral's wish and you shall promptly communicate the same to ƒeral.
B. You agree that the wish shall be granted pursuant to the wisher's intent. The wisher's intent shall be as determined by the wisher, and any effects deemed to be unintended shall be considered a material breach of this contract.
C. If ƒeral, for whatsoever reason, determines that you have materially breached this contract, you shall revert the state of the world, including all constituent parts thereof, back to the smallest increment of time prior to the execution of this contract, and thereafter, you shall offer ƒeral the option of maintaining the status quo or constructing a new contract for wish, to be selected at ƒeral's sole discretion.
D. You assume a fiduciary duty towards ƒeral, and shall apply to the most stringent level of care, including due diligence and the duty of loyalty, in granting ƒeral's wish.
E. Once the results of a wish is accepted by ƒeral, it shall be irreversible by any means except as otherwise determined by ƒeral. You agree that if ƒeral reverses the wish, she has determined that you have commited a material breach of this contract.
F. Time is of the essence in every provision of this contract.
G. ƒeral does not intend that you erase, alter, or otherwise affect her memory of this contract in any shape or form. ƒeral does not intend that you erase, alter, or otherwise affect her mental state and faculties in any shape or form.
H. ƒeral intends to retain a conceptual understanding of all wishes that she has made, whether the same has been reversed or not.
Section 1-003 Wish
ƒeral wishes for pets, of whatever form, duration and intensity she so desires, as conceptualized by her at such time, in whatever place she so desires, from whatever existence she so desires it from, now and forever more.
Endorsements.
Dates.
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