Am I being too sensitive or is this person a jerk?

[Resistance0Is0Futile]

So Hi guys.

To give some backstory I have a learning difficulty, writing is not easy for me. Before I commit to any role play I ensure that the role player understands what level of writing capability I am at. It's taken me over 20 years to get this far to be able to not ridicule my own writing. Not to rip it apart and edit it out a thousand times. That is the nature of being so hard on myself. I have recently been balanced enough to accept criticism. Like if I worded something wrongly I always accept people point out stuff. The nature of my condition is called Di-George syndrome or better known for it 22.11 Q Deletion syndrome. It's a genetic where the piece of the 22 gene is missing. Feel free to look it up if you fancy a read of it it's quite fascinating.

I struggle with formulating paragraphs and words line 1 is great, line two is great but I loose line 3 and the point I was making. I get distracted easily. It was so bad before where someone actually accused me of not being British and called me a horrible writer and it dramatically hurt my feelings. I lost all confidence in writing on forums because of how nasty people have been on other forums. I don't mean to do it it's just something that happens and I'm very aware of it.
The point I'm telling you is so you fully understand what my side of the problem is. I have ideas, I have the enthusiasm for it, it just gets lost on paper. My thoughts are going so fast. I'd have one kick ass line and be like yeah that's brilliant and then completely looses it. I loose great partners and never really sure of where my writing level actually is. I feel I'm between writing levels.
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I have written with this person in the past but I couldn't remember for the life of me who this person was. This person is aware of my writing standard I didn't try to hide it. We were doing a Thor/Loki role play and I hadn't watched the Avengers in such a long time (but am doing my research by re-watching) and of course everyone has different standards of how cannon characters should act, different view ect. My version of Thor will be different to yours kind of thing. But this person didn't get this.

I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive/over thinking. If I write a post, this person will send me a very harsh message and gets annoyed if the character isn't portrayed in a certain way, my argument is my version is different to yours. I hadn't seen or heard Marvel only returning it until very recently. So far I've been biting my tongue over the controlling comments this person is making. I get confused very easily sometimes pointers or gestures through Pm to let me know what the direction of the Post is going. If the fluency of the communication isn't their I am screwed and destined to fail.

Like the planning process, I get so stressed out because I DON'T want a yes man to say yes to everything or no because with no details of what you want or directions of where you wish to proceed I don't understand why it should be down to one person who is doing all the planning. I often loose potential partners because they don't share there own ideas and I get scared of overwhelming them and showing how messy and chaotic my own brain is. But once the role play is under the way and I know what I'm doing I can be the perfect partner for you.

However, back to 'this person.' I have confronted this person and said do you mind if you can be a bit kinder with your messages because it feels like it's attacking. I'm trying to learn to be better to take criticism and maturely handle it, but sometimes I can take it the wrong way and get upset over it. Maybe I'm not used to someone being completely honest that they're not happy. If the characters or the direction he'd/she will ask me to re-edict it multiple times until it's a satisfying starter for them. It's fine I don't mind it but I didn't know if this was just being over bearing/controlling?

Or is it just pure honesty that they're just helping? When I asked if they could be kinder they said we might as well Drop it since I am not sensitive. I'm not sensitive. If I was sensitive the role play would be dead and over before it got started But I really want to make this to work but I don't know if this behaviour is normal.

 

[Templer]

Personally, I think you should find another writing partner who you are more compatible with. There needs to be a little give and take when writing but if it has got to the point where you feel the need to write the above post then it doesn't sound like you are enjoying it and please remember we are all here to enjoy ourselves no matter what level of writer you are.

 

[Saber]

I don't think you're being over sensitive. The debate over canon characters is endless. If your partner was so adamant about you playing a Thor that is perfectly portrayed in the movies/comics etc., they should've voiced that. I do believe that you should drop them as a partner if they're not going to address your feelings towards they 'critique' on your portrayal of YC. In my experience with giving and receiving criticism, I will address what needs to, but also praise where someone has done well so as not to discourage them.

I understand you want to try and hold on to the RP, but if your partner is, in my opinion, overreacting like that, it would be best to drop it. There are other partners/writers out there that will be more understanding and better with communication that will save you some anxiety and stress.

When something is stressful, it's not fun anymore. Roleplaying should always be fun first.

 

[Staine]

My first impression here is that you seem very aware of yourself and your writing. Whomever in the past said you weren't British enough I would completely disregard, as a Brit myself you seem about as much one of us as anybody else I've seen. Honestly don't even know what that's meant to mean, are we meant to be better writers? I don't feel like I am

To the point in question, I don't think you're being too sensitive. Playing Canon characters is often like this, one person's interpretation is not the same as that of another and I believe that is one of the flaws in the format as a whole. I don't write canons because I don't feel I do the characters justice and I don't have the flexibility with them to express myself as a writer, but just as valid is the fact that my version of them may not be what a particular partner has in mind for them and that can lead to conflict. As you've seen, your Thor is obviously not what this person thinks of when they envisage our beloved God/superhero and that's okay, I'm sure your Thor is fantastic in his own right. If somebody is going to have somebody write a canon character for them then they need to keep an open mind and understand just that, that what they believe the character should be might not be what others do and I think it's very, very rude to be so harsh on somebody elses interpretation. At most they could have told you "Hey, your Thor isn't quite how I like to picture him, is there any chance he can behave more like this?" and given examples.

I also am not a fan of people calling others sensitive because they want them to be a little kinder. I can be a harsh individual myself sometimes if I am pushed or somebody is doing something I particularly do not agree with but holding yourself back and displaying positivity and kindness is a trait I think all people should aspire to, and the understanding that not everybody has the same boundaries, limits and tolerance for harsh words is something a reasonable adult should be able to grasp. I would drop that partner, report them if they were particularly abusive towards you and you feel attacked but if not just move on and good luck finding somebody more suitable!

 

[Resistance0Is0Futile]

Thank you, I was fearing the case. I was literally just biting my tongue because I know I can be defensive. I have been writing for over 20 years give or take and have learnt over the years that I have trouble with getting my words across. I like to think if you can tolerate the cross the t's and dot the I's my creativity tends to make up for it if you can get past my little errors. Oh for sure people have commented on that thinking I was lying about living in England. I'm like.. dude I don't have the energy for that.

Oh for sure I was expecting that to be honest, It's why I was always hestitant about playing big guys like Thor or Loki because people have preferences on how they like to be played. I was trying to explain to this person, who literally kept commenting on every post. I accept crissum, but that was like every post. I don't like it when people have 'assigned ' characters because sometimes it feels like I'm having a conversation with myself, I gave opening lines for them to respond and they just completely ignored it.

The problem is I find it very hard to find partners because of my writing problem. I like writing multiple paragraphs. I like researching. I spent all weekend just researching watching Thor and other marvel characters but that person didn't seem to understand that very rule that everyone see's them differently that's what makes it fun.

I'm a little anxious posting because I'm like will they comment? would I have to re-edit a post? I don't mind pointers but this is a little extreme. I told them, just for my own piece of mind I was like well you're honest with me I will be honest with you. When you say Eh I don't think Thor would do that or this, hunnie, I don't mind that but if you can say it a little nicer so it doesn't feel like I'm over reacting or being sensitive.

Her response was pretty much "Well, I get really crazy if things aren't right. "That's true but half the things aren't even true, it's a cannon/a fiction. Not true to form. I get that, but there's a fine line I think. I try to be fair because I'm known for being a bit 'sensitive' but she literarally clamped up and said that and said well we might as well drop the RP in that case when she realised I wasn't going to roll over and stood up for myself.

When you aren't blessed with so much partners, you tend to feel you have to stick with the ones that make it hard work if that make sense? Thanks for your fair comments guys I really appreciate it.

 

[Nihilistic_Impact]

No rp is better than bad rp. Searching for a partner might be hard, but your time is more valuable than being belittled for how you choose to portray a character.

And you can always do independent research, it's mostly how I engage with the hobby these days.