now ive got your teeth on my tongue,
see, i told her,
the devil is a lie.
The music switched from impossibly deep warbles to highly synthesized drum snares accompanied by the angelic trill of a keyboard. But it was all one or two notes jostling for their time in the orbiting spotlight. There was a -- dissonance, an incomparable notion that one could distinguish the zebra from the stripes, from muscle memory - such as an E♭ existing morosely, semitones apart, to fingers stretching for chords that spanned meters long -- well, Valerie never cared for the piano, so her knowledge only went as far as her interest. Besides, ivory hurt her fingers, and she'd cut her teeth on those taut, spring-steel wires to keep them sharp. She could still see her blood, tiny crimson teardrops perched like birds on - hah, wire - huddled close for warmth.
Her family had a great grand piano that was old and dusty and loud; her decrepit grandmother played it with gusto and mischief all the fucking time, and that horrible discordant noise was a permanent backdrop bouncing through their house. That selfsame instrument was wailing when her mother, her Matriarchal Saint, Venerated Gold of Centuries Unspoken, crowded her into an empty room -- empty: to be void, to lack furniture, to suck paint from the walls and arrest all notion of being lived-in - room: a place with a floor to sit on and brood gorgeously -- to offer her the chance of a lifetime. "Go to Kanbetsu! Yalsinsk will still be standing when you return, and when you do, we will have a party!!"
The offer was a platter of mossy, nibbled-on cheese and stale biscuits, and since Valerie was a picky eater she looked at her Matriarchal Saint, and because it was with such open-faced disgust, her mother added, haltingly, "You like parties, yes?"
Well! She didn't like the piano but she did like parties (grudgingly), and she loved art (happily, longingly, magnetically). These were the fresh olives on an otherwise putrid charcuterie board: Kanbetsu was ripe with both.
Valerie stirred, a single strand of glass-blue a wisp in the wind. Ephemeral. Sacrilegiously, comparative to the natural - do you like the color of the sky. Diaphanous in silk, thick and full-bodied that spilled over her shoulder when she shook her head imperceptibly. In lockstep, those perfectly trained dogs stopped reaching for their belts in unison and settled back easily. They did not have to think about the stranger entering their atmosphere because Valerie did all the thinking for them. How easy they must have it, to never have a thought in those eggshell scalps! They were rocking chairs rooted on a porch; she was the husband in army greens looking for the storm, and storms were not one cloud but a cluster of many. They were gunpowder to guns, anti-bac to soap; they were grains of citrus sticking to the fingertips, draped in perfumed virgins with dangling knives at the hollow of the throat and choir boys hollering with silver tonsils.
She looked away.
Her mouth curled into a cruel shape that looked like a smile, but it could also have been a bow, a polite curtsy curated for business. It did not reach the devastating gold of her eyes. They really were like stars, if stars could look starved and bored, as if they only tolerated the moon because the moon had not acted out in a fit of rage. So, Valerie could smile properly, and take another sip of her drink. Her lips imprinted its mark on the rim of the glass, which stained them a maraschino red in return. She blinked slowly and humored the cloud as stars humored the moon. Where the stranger's face was a mosaic of smoke, of oscillated water, the tattoo was a compass rose for ships corralled in stained bottles. It became her focal point as she turned her head this way and that with soft, easy motions, to measure the size and place the ink before the flesh. She judged the mess of the shirt, the pants, and mourned silently.
Valerie might have recognized the face if she let it sink its teeth into her.
But Ego was an apocalyptic sin, and she was its Horseman. She did not recognize the cloud for the storm, nor the storm for the warm-blooded body, only that it was a stranger who had encroached on her personal space who must have woken up lucky because that face was still attached to the skull. See, Ego. War rattled the doors and Famine lay weeping on stone-cold pavement, Pestilence willing rain into locusts, Death, and so on and so forth. The Four Fingers quartering the Earth - Kanbetsu - to subsume the land and embrace it as one might a benign tumor. Yalsinsk was a legacy bulging at the edges with borders too small to contain it without cracking at the seams. It needed the Hand to grasp and pull and caress. Needed, as the Hand needed the Thumb, to realize an empire into religion.
"I am," she replied, shifting so that her elbow no longer rested on the table. Valerie said it as if the woman had asked if she was one Valerie Ivanov, which she was. Though, nobody in the Nook should be privy to her name, nor to her presence. She was a glitch seeding viral roots into the guarded garden of the Yamauchi clan, blitzing zen into rot, and so let them meditate on corrupt soil! She could almost hear the fireworks and gunshots upon her return. Heralded and spoken about on all the radios and televisions. She could hear that horrible, horrible piano as her grandmother's spidery fingers skittered over hungry keys.
But then the chords thrummed and she looked long and hard at the stranger's hands. Pretty fingers attached firmly to the palm, lifelines to the wrist that looked slender as bird bones. Nails cut short and painted over with black varnish, a bold choice of gradients. A jardinière's worth of rings decorating the frail digits, so frail. She studied them as one might shark in an aquarium or stolen artifacts in a museum. She looked at them like they were for sale. The severity of her eyes always made lesser men and women sweat, and the way she did not blink only exaggerated the core of pale black irises, those apoplectic pinpoints. The conclusion she had come to was terrible to behold.
Those hands looked like they enjoyed the piano. Valerie's patience diminished. This was significant because the stranger's squishy heart was still beating. This was important because Valerie took that moment to swiftly finish off her drink in one gulp, and before she finished patting her mouth with a napkin, another appeared to take its place and another for her piano-loving companion, coasters and all. Fresh ice clinked pleasantly against branded glass. She still hadn't looked at the woman's face, and she only knew it was a woman from the smooth lilt in her voice. This did not matter. It was not a storm. It was barely a cloud.
"There are so many other spots," the ninth drink made her malleable; she abandoned the straw and fiddled with her paper umbrella, snapped the toothpick easily, "and there is nothing special about this spot. It is an ugly spot, and it has a scar." Valerie's Japanese was surprisingly coherent, despite the drinks, the -- foreignness, and the awkward tonal shifts; she still affected her strong accent from her motherland, distinctly Slavic, but she understood what the woman was saying, and thought it funny enough to allow another sentence.
Ego said, "So you see, claim another spot. You are not cute enough to stay."