Question What does “meat market” mean?

[Backlash84]

Saw the term used in the rules, but not really sure what it means.

 

[Praxis]

Its a colourful way of saying "This isn't the place to try and meet people for things that aren't roleplaying/writing."

As in, a market where you'd shop for ...ahem... "meat".

To elaborate: The purpose of a members engagement with the other members should always be writing first. Something like chatting can be incidental, even organic, between two writing partners, but should never take precedence over what BMR is about: Writing, and finding partners to write with.

 

[Backlash84]

Its a colourful way of saying "This isn't the place to try and meet people for things that aren't roleplaying/writing."

As in, a market where you'd shop for ...ahem... "meat".

To elaborate: The purpose of a members engagement with the other members should always be writing first. Something like chatting can be incidental, even organic, between two writing partners, but should never take precedence over what BMR is about: Writing, and finding partners to write with.

Ah, alright. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[Taramafor]

but should never take precedence over what BMR is about

I'm going to objectively say that regardless of what you want the precedence to be it's actually the choice of the people that interact with each other. I shall elaborate.

People can take a liking to each other and focus more on communication which can even lead to being together in real life (sometimes people that roleplay connect) then they decided to make the priority communication and understanding instead of, say, "A quick roleplay and that's it". Both apply. That is to say connections can endure either just online or online and then physical.

Roleplay is a part of what some people seek. But not the "whole" of it. Meaningful connections. So "just writing and posting" doesn't cut it. It has to be about communication. "Real" talks. And many people online tend to avoid this. Because they're so "fun focused". Which, honestly, is very concerning. Speaking as someone that's seen the harm and danger of people being blind online when they didn't pay enough attention only to lead to being self destructive. Roleplay and fun is well and good but safety first. And that danger tends to happen when people go "Fun only. Roleplay only. Fun fun fun, never anything serious and let's not talk". This is why I always push for communication. Which gets far better results.

Some people look for something "deeper" then just a quick fling. Which can endure either online or end up as something physical. People can become concerned when someone wants something "real" which leads to talking people into roleplay. But also more. Fact is we're all people and if you don't respect yourself enough to take things seriously someone else might. They might scare you. But then you might get to know them. And next thing you know you're roleplaying each others pants off. These roleplay partners can turn into gaming buddies and last for years and decades. Or peoples whole lives. It's more then "just writing".

 

[ƒeral]

People also fuck in subways. That doesn't mean subways are intended for fucking.

People can forge 'real' connections on BMR, but BMR is intended to be a writing site. I think what Praxis is getting at is the expectation when using BMR is everyone should be searching for writing partners before all else. That does not necessarily preclude everything else, but everything else "should never take precedence over what BMR is about."

 

[Taramafor]

should be searching for writing partners before all else

The problem with "should" logic is that it's going "I decide for you". It's just simple miswording is all. But it's still going "I decide for you".

I search for people to roleplay with. But I have other priorities before that. Saying "others should do this" does not change the fact that people can and do change their minds. Things have to come before roleplay so roleplay is even possible at all.

It's like how honesty creates trust. If you don't prioritize honesty then you can not make that trust.

The intent of a location is moot. It's the intent of the people that make their own choices together. This is an objective fact. Wherever that means "let's keep things casual" or "Let's have something more" depends on who is asked.

 

[ƒeral]

The intent of a location is moot.

Incorrect. BMR as a location is governed by BMR's rules, which was what was being discussed in this topic. The rule being discussed clearly states expectations when it comes to how users should interact within this site. In that regard, absolutely, the staff decide what is and is not acceptable. In any aspect of life, somethings are decided for you, such is the tax of being a participant in literally anything. Society, for example.

Can two users forge some sort of friendship on BMR? Sure. But the rules are clear - it is not permissible to use BMR as some sort of thinly veiled 'meat market'.

Things have to come before roleplay so roleplay is even possible at all.

And no idea what you mean by this, to be honest. But in my experience, most users use BMR for its intended purpose - i.e. meeting other similarly minded writers to write.

 

[Taramafor]

And no idea what you mean by this, to be honest.

The fact that you have no idea is my whole point here. If you don't know my priorities then of course you don't have a clue. And if you knew how people blow their brains out when they're not treated as human beings you might change yours too. THAT is what I have to keep in mind at all times. Regardless of what site I'm on. Regardless of how afraid people get when they assume the worst about me, which then requires having to have "the talks" which leads to forming closer connection and having fun roleplay because we're being realistic instead of pretending it's about what one person wants alone. Now do you understand?

I'm going to repeat what I said about people choosing for themselves. No rule will change that. The purpose of the site is roleplay but that doesn't change the fact people that only seek roleplay also end up becoming hypocrites that move in together in real life. Which isn't a bad thing if people are happy with each other. But you understand the point I am making, yes?

 

[Sync]

Here's the difference.

If you join BMR then head into the Chat room and start saying things like "hey, you sound cute, where do you live, can we meet IRL" then you're treating BMR like a Meat Market and need to re-evaluate your priorities before the staff do it for you.

If you join BMR and spend several months chatting to people casually and you find you share a mutual interest and discover that you happen to live near each other, then you've come for the writing and finding people living near you is happenstance.

The difference comes from how the other party perceives your discovery of close proximity. Your intentions don't matter.

The fact that you have no idea is my whole point here. If you don't know my priorities then of course you don't have a clue.

Chill.

 

[Mitsu]

The fact that you have no idea is my whole point here. If you don't know my priorities then of course you don't have a clue. And if you knew how people blow their brains out when they're not treated as human beings you might change yours too. THAT is what I have to keep in mind at all times. Regardless of what site I'm on. Regardless of how afraid people get when they assume the worst about me, which then requires having to have "the talks" which leads to forming closer connection and having fun roleplay because we're being realistic instead of pretending it's about what one person wants alone. Now do you understand?

I'm going to repeat what I said about people choosing for themselves. No rule will change that. The purpose of the site is roleplay but that doesn't change the fact people that only seek roleplay also end up becoming hypocrites that move in together in real life. Which isn't a bad thing if people are happy with each other. But you understand the point I am making, yes?

Okay, guy.

You talk a whole lot about what people want, but everything I'm reading from you boils down to what you seem to want. You have no actual concern for the feelings of other people, or their mental condition. All you care about is that people interact with you in a way that soothes your ego and gets you whatever it is that you want. If someone doesn't want to interact with you in a particular way, you have a problem with that. You have no respect for a person's boundaries. You aren't even interested in communication, because you're too caught up in sucking your own dick to actually listen to what other people have to say. You fancy yourself some kind of intellectual, a wise philosopher that understands people on a deep level.

Bullshit.

You're none of those things. You're a contrarian that likes the sound of your own voice, and gets salty when people don't put up with your invasive tendencies. Just like how you got salty when someone told you off in chat about harassing a member over not confronting their fears. Your response was to create an entire thread to vent about it under the guise of a philosophical discussion or self-help thread. You're either arrogant enough to believe you can fix people with a few scant paragraphs, or arrogant enough to think that you're the answer to anyone's problems. You couldn't even stop yourself from posting an entirely needless and pointless message here, because you must go against the grain and enlighten people. Nobody buys what you're selling, and everyone is cringing at you as they read your drivel.

I'm not merely talking about this thread, but across the entire site. You seem to have a severe hang up on people not interacting with you on your terms. You use language to dehumanize those that don't fit into your world view, don't behave and interact with you/others as you see fit. You made a whole thread about how someone is a coward for not directly confronting their fears, and for not talking to you as if you're their therapist. Talk about someone being a hypocrite. Trauma is a real and serious thing, and a person's preference to not discuss it with strangers does not not make them lesser.

You also, unsurprisingly, have the audacity to suggest that you have a level of empathy far and beyond everyone else. You assert that your "priorities" allow you to see the whole picture of the human condition above others. If only you didn't have such a heavy cross to carry across your broad, powerful shoulders. How miserable must it be to be Taramator. You are truly destined to be a martyr, tortured and beleaguered by people that refuse to see the truth and hate you for trying to open their eyes. You're just so misunderstood, but oh how they will come to love you once they see the light of wise Taramator's teachings.

I think we all get the point; I'm growing tired of this. Feral already completely decimated anything you had to say about the topic on hand. I don't have to make an actual argument, because you utterly failed to refute any that were already made at you.

To put it bluntly, since you have no problem being blunt, you come across as a desperate creep. That's me communicating to you how I feel about the things you've typed on this message board. We're all about communication here, and we must say the things we are thinking without hiding them, right?

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

Okay, guy.

You talk a whole lot about what people want, but everything I'm reading from you boils down to what you seem to want. You have no actual concern for the feelings of other people, or their mental condition. All you care about is that people interact with you in a way that soothes your ego and gets you whatever it is that you want. If someone doesn't want to interact with you in a particular way, you have a problem with that. You have no respect for a person's boundaries. You aren't even interested in communication, because you're too caught up in sucking your own dick to actually listen to what other people have to say. You fancy yourself some kind of intellectual, a wise philosopher that understands people on a deep level.

Bullshit.

You're none of those things. You're a contrarian that likes the sound of your own voice, and gets salty when people don't put up with your invasive tendencies. Just like how you got salty when someone told you off in chat about harassing a member over not confronting their fears. Your response was to create an entire thread to vent about it under the guise of a philosophical discussion or self-help thread. You're either arrogant enough to believe you can fix people with a few scant paragraphs, or arrogant enough to think that you're the answer to anyone's problems. You couldn't even stop yourself from posting an entirely needless and pointless message here, because you must go against the grain and enlighten people. Nobody buys what you're selling, and everyone is cringing at you as they read your drivel.

I'm not merely talking about this thread, but across the entire site. You seem to have a severe hang up on people not interacting with you on your terms. You use language to dehumanize those that don't fit into your world view, don't behave and interact with you/others as you see fit. You made a whole thread about how someone is a coward for not directly confronting their fears, and for not talking to you as if you're their therapist. Talk about someone being a hypocrite. Trauma is a real and serious thing, and a person's preference to not discuss it with strangers does not not make them lesser.

You also, unsurprisingly, have the audacity to suggest that you have a level of empathy far and beyond everyone else. You assert that your "priorities" allow you to see the whole picture of the human condition above others. If only you didn't have such a heavy cross to carry across your broad, powerful shoulders. How miserable must it be to be Taramator. You are truly destined to be a martyr, tortured and beleaguered by people that refuse to see the truth and hate you for trying to open their eyes. You're just so misunderstood, but oh how they will come to love you once they see the light of wise Taramator's teachings.

I think we all get the point; I'm growing tired of this. Feral already completely decimated anything you had to say about the topic on hand. I don't have to make an actual argument, because you utterly failed to refute any that were already made at you.

To put it bluntly, since you have no problem being blunt, you come across as a desperate creep. That's me communicating to you how I feel about the things you've typed on this message board. We're all about communication here, and we must say the things we are thinking without hiding them, right?

Don't ever stop posting, please.

Got nothing to add. It's been covered quite efficiently.

 

[Taramafor]

You're making assumptions. This isn't about what I want. It's about the miswording of what was stated. And how things actually are instead of how you want them to be. You do not get the point at all. You only assume the worst.

Fact: The words "before all else" was used. Who's deciding this for who?
Fact: I value sanity and trust over all else. Do you take issue with that? What do YOU want? Does this matter to you more then roleplay or less?
Fact: People decide for themselves. Not YOUR choice. not what YOU want. Not what I want. I am saying agian, for the THRID time that it's between the people that interact with each other. it's THEIR choice.

Any rules made does not change the simple fact that people decide for themselves. Can we please get that established? How is this about what I want when it's the choices of everyone that decides for themselves? Explain that to me.

It is the wording I took issue with. The blank carpet statement of "Should apply to everyone". This is a false statement. And violates the choices of others. That is exactly how I used to hurt people myself in the past when I used such miswording. Because it was making it about what I want alone. It's making it about "my" way of doing things. Instead of considering that it's about what others want. This misunderstanding only exists because of the stament "should always be writing first". I always put SANITY first. TRUST. is there anyone here that can honestly tell me they do not do the same?

I have explained myself calmly. I am "chill". I am not worked up. I am not afraid. But you seem to be. Now, do you value the sanity and trust of yourself and others or don't you? Do you value THEIR choices or are you going to pretend this is about me? Because me is not what this is about. This is about everyone deciding for themselves.

 

[Praxis]

Everyone,

Keep it civil. Questions and Suggestions is on the front page of the site and, usually, intended for site related issues or questions regarding a member's account. Since this conversation is heading, quickly, into other territories outside of the original topic, be mindful of what you say and how you say it.

We're all adults here. If we can't conduct ourselves in a respectful manner, then perhaps this specific energy would be better spent elsewhere.

 

[Taramafor]

Everyone,

Keep it civil. Questions and Suggestions is on the front page of the site and, usually, intended for site related issues or questions regarding a member's account. Since this conversation is heading, quickly, into other territories outside of the original topic, be mindful of what you say and how you say it.

We're all adults here. If we can't conduct ourselves in a respectful manner, then perhaps this specific energy would be better spent elsewhere.

I calmly and respectfully inform you about the miswording. it's the "should for everyone" logic you see. As if it's "Up to you". What others should do. You did not mean that implication. I understand this. I am informing you it is the implication nonetheless. I find this concerning for reasons you are unaware of.

Can we all agree that regardless of the situation and location that it's up to the people interacting with each other to decide between themselves? Because that's what we seem to all be making it about here.

 

[ƒeral]

I calmly and respectfully inform you about the miswording. it's the "should for everyone" logic you see. As if it's "Up to you". What others should do. You did not mean that implication. I understand this. I am informing you it is the implication nonetheless. I find this concerning for reasons you are unaware of.

Can we all agree that regardless of the situation and location that it's up to the people interacting with each other to decide between themselves? Because that's what we seem to all be making it about here.

I calmly and respectfully inform you that those adverbs do not in fact make something calm or respectful.

Every institution is allowed to decide what are and are not permissible, in what capacity, in which forum, so on so forth, as its own terms of use.

Can we all agree to cut it out with the "you meant this" & "you did not mean this" & hiding opinions with the grandiloquent and nonexistent 'the people'.

See strawman & ad homine. It's not cute.

 

[Saber]

I calmly and respectfully inform you about the miswording. it's the "should for everyone" logic you see. As if it's "Up to you". What others should do. You did not mean that implication. I understand this. I am informing you it is the implication nonetheless. I find this concerning for reasons you are unaware of.

Can we all agree that regardless of the situation and location that it's up to the people interacting with each other to decide between themselves? Because that's what we seem to all be making it about here.

The issue here is no one had said it wasn't up to individuals. The point is that BMR is not a site to come searching for things other than writing/role-playing. Do friendships form after getting to know writing partners? Of course. Praxis mentioned that in their answer.

Should you join this site with the intention of not writing/role-playing and just meeting people under the guise of a writer? No. You're honestly making this a bigger issue than it is. The question was answered by a member of staff, the the OP understood. Any other opinion or assumption is irrelevant from anyone.

TLDR; BMR is a writing/role-playing site and not IMVU

 

[whitechapel]

Can we all agree that regardless of the situation and location that it's up to the people interacting with each other to decide between themselves? Because that's what we seem to all be making it about here.

Nah.

I have a lot of friends on BMR.

Most of those friends were made because, at some point, we decided we wanted to roleplay together.

Others were made via chat and we've never written a word together at all.

None were made because I messaged them or they messaged me wanting to meet up and bump uglies in real life.

None were made because I messaged them or they messaged me wanting to exchange hawt noodz.

None were made because I messaged them or they messaged me wanting to cross the real life-roleplay divide and develop an e-relationship.

None of that happened not only because I would never, but also because that's not what BMR is for and messages like that should never be sent.

We're here to write and roleplay. If we make friends along the way, that's cool. Friends are nice to have.

If, after becoming friends with someone through BMR, your relationship develops in such a way that you have any of those above listed things, that's cool as long as you're both down.

If, however, the entire relationship is predicated by you sending someone a message about how much you want to fuck them in real life, then nah. You broke the meat market rule.

Likewise, if someone messages you saying they're looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend and have no interest in your existence on the site beyond that, then nah. They broke the meat market rule.

It's really as simple as that.

 

[Fentanyl]

I'm going to lock this thread.

The question was accurately answered and has devolved into something else entirely - there's no need to beat a dead horse or start a debate about the intricacies of intent. There's other places on here that are better suited for that kind of discussion that aren't on the front page of a questions and suggestions (i.e; help) sub-forum.