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Just thought I'd throw this in somewhere.
For rap, you just gotta make shit rhyme. Add some computer-generated noises and you can get $50 million AND get away with burning hospitols. It's like, "yo mah nigga, where's my slipper?" And in the background: "Initializing Narrator." Hell, my came up with the most intelligent rap in the history of mankind: he set a piano on fire and said, "my girl has two titties and two kitties." Genius.
Pop? Some gay... wait, no, not gay. I've actually met some gay and bi people on Blue Moon and they're actually pretty decent. And it's not like being gay makes you an asshole. So I'mma go with pedophiles. And miley cyrus. So: some pedophile(s) (or some really desperate virgin(s)) trying to pull off rock and failing epically. Pull some guitar strings, poke drums, moan "baby" and "yeah" a couple (OVER NINE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!) times, you got yourself some pop. And the children. Oh, God, the poor children. Draw the 7-17 (teenage guys who listen to that crap are rare), take the young 'uns backstage, rape them (unless the kids are already screwed up), then (in the case of the jonas brothers), after committing such an evil, horrible, vile sin, show crowds Christian symbols and go "we're pure, we're pure, we- Joe, you've got some Jesus juice on your eyebrow". Disgusting. Like with sexual orientation, I really don't care about religion; it's mostly the same God, ain't it? I believe in God, I don't like judging people by their religious beliefs (unless you think Edward Cullen, see below, is God. Then the holy crowbar is coming out). The heretics who call themselves "pop artists" are scum, dog turds beneath my feet, Satan's whores.
And finally, Twilight. Literature is a bit of an issue for me, but this is too damn far. I read the entire Twilight series in an attempt to see why the hell people liked it so much. Larry the Cable Guy once said in his book, GIT-R-DONE, that his brother once wrote a story calledThe Retard and the Kitty. It sounds stupid as hell but I can sense that it has a better plot than Twilight. For one thing: the laws of physics seem to have been completely edited with no explaination as to how anything works. Example? Edward is apparently made of some indestructible rock, which is why he sparkles like a four-year-old's stickers. Whoa. Time out. How the hell does that work? The hardest known metal is called ANDR, which is an "allotrope of carbon" believed to be the hardest and least compressible known material. ANDR is damn near impossible to crack or break, much less change shape. Eddy-boy shouldn't even be alive, much less move. He's strong as hell, which is perfectly understandable if Ms. Meyer has altered the properties of ANDR so that it can actually move, but fast? It's still damn heavy, and I don't see any engines or anything on him. And as for the characters? Isabella is just one minor flaw from a Mary Sue. Stephanie Meyer apparently figured out what a Mary Sue is and that nobody likes them, so she made Isabella a klutz. Jesus, it's so damned obvious how hard Meyer's trying not to make her a goddess. Just add a stupid backstory involving unicorns and curses and midgets that shit rainbows and we got a Mary Sue. I've already explained Ed's problem, I won't do it again. I'll just make the text red. And Jacob. Ever read Animorphs? That series from the late 90's about 5 teenagers and an alien who could turn into animals? Copyright infringement~ We got a bunch of people who can turn into huge, diseased mutts in desperate need of a bath.
Anyway, I'mma stop right here, 'cause I don't want any die-hard Twi-tard sobbing and committing suicide 'cause of a logical opinion. Read, enjoy, and leave your whines about how Eddy's a God and I'm jealous and so on and I really don't give a damn. Byesies! :3
For rap, you just gotta make shit rhyme. Add some computer-generated noises and you can get $50 million AND get away with burning hospitols. It's like, "yo mah nigga, where's my slipper?" And in the background: "Initializing Narrator." Hell, my came up with the most intelligent rap in the history of mankind: he set a piano on fire and said, "my girl has two titties and two kitties." Genius.
Pop? Some gay... wait, no, not gay. I've actually met some gay and bi people on Blue Moon and they're actually pretty decent. And it's not like being gay makes you an asshole. So I'mma go with pedophiles. And miley cyrus. So: some pedophile(s) (or some really desperate virgin(s)) trying to pull off rock and failing epically. Pull some guitar strings, poke drums, moan "baby" and "yeah" a couple (OVER NINE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!) times, you got yourself some pop. And the children. Oh, God, the poor children. Draw the 7-17 (teenage guys who listen to that crap are rare), take the young 'uns backstage, rape them (unless the kids are already screwed up), then (in the case of the jonas brothers), after committing such an evil, horrible, vile sin, show crowds Christian symbols and go "we're pure, we're pure, we- Joe, you've got some Jesus juice on your eyebrow". Disgusting. Like with sexual orientation, I really don't care about religion; it's mostly the same God, ain't it? I believe in God, I don't like judging people by their religious beliefs (unless you think Edward Cullen, see below, is God. Then the holy crowbar is coming out). The heretics who call themselves "pop artists" are scum, dog turds beneath my feet, Satan's whores.
And finally, Twilight. Literature is a bit of an issue for me, but this is too damn far. I read the entire Twilight series in an attempt to see why the hell people liked it so much. Larry the Cable Guy once said in his book, GIT-R-DONE, that his brother once wrote a story calledThe Retard and the Kitty. It sounds stupid as hell but I can sense that it has a better plot than Twilight. For one thing: the laws of physics seem to have been completely edited with no explaination as to how anything works. Example? Edward is apparently made of some indestructible rock, which is why he sparkles like a four-year-old's stickers. Whoa. Time out. How the hell does that work? The hardest known metal is called ANDR, which is an "allotrope of carbon" believed to be the hardest and least compressible known material. ANDR is damn near impossible to crack or break, much less change shape. Eddy-boy shouldn't even be alive, much less move. He's strong as hell, which is perfectly understandable if Ms. Meyer has altered the properties of ANDR so that it can actually move, but fast? It's still damn heavy, and I don't see any engines or anything on him. And as for the characters? Isabella is just one minor flaw from a Mary Sue. Stephanie Meyer apparently figured out what a Mary Sue is and that nobody likes them, so she made Isabella a klutz. Jesus, it's so damned obvious how hard Meyer's trying not to make her a goddess. Just add a stupid backstory involving unicorns and curses and midgets that shit rainbows and we got a Mary Sue. I've already explained Ed's problem, I won't do it again. I'll just make the text red. And Jacob. Ever read Animorphs? That series from the late 90's about 5 teenagers and an alien who could turn into animals? Copyright infringement~ We got a bunch of people who can turn into huge, diseased mutts in desperate need of a bath.
Anyway, I'mma stop right here, 'cause I don't want any die-hard Twi-tard sobbing and committing suicide 'cause of a logical opinion. Read, enjoy, and leave your whines about how Eddy's a God and I'm jealous and so on and I really don't give a damn. Byesies! :3