Charting the Seas [ A wannabe pirate's updates/ Comments welcome ]

[Nautical]

I've tried keeping personal logs before, but it eventually gets lost and I stop maintaining it. Maybe here I can feel a little more obligated to write this stuff down.

This week marks the end of a month in the gym after a while. I started with three nights a week with a trainer, slowly whittling away at what I ate and trying to do right by me.

Somewhere at the end of week 3, I was assigned a new trainer. It's a bit different, circuit training. It kicks the ever-living shit out of me. This week I've changed things to where I go two nights with the trainer and two nights by myself as well as starting a strict meal plan that the trainer provided. It's.. less than fun, but it's not the worst thing in the world. Small portions, more meals, high value foods.. it makes sense.

I've been down this road before. Before I lost Dad I tried to do this, I think I lost twenty pounds or so. I gained it back and then some when he passed. Since November last year I've lost some 65 pounds, had to replace every article of clothing I own because it doesn't fucking fit anymore and even some of the stuff I have now is starting to not fit. There is a noticeable difference in my appearance and I'm kind of shocked because this didn't happen last time.

I'm not a small person, I'll never deny that.. and I'm not going to be a small person. I've got work to do, though and a lot of it. I'm 15 pounds from goal one and 35 pounds from goal two, and these are both weights I've never seen before while being consciously aware of it.

The gym is still intimidating, but it gets less so each day.. I still find the days on my own daunting, I'm settling in slowly.

My DMs are open if anyone wants to hear me prattle on more or has advice to share and doesn't feel like commenting on the thread

 

[Nautical]

Tonight marks the end of my first month in the gym.

Tonight is the first week I've been to the gym 4 nights in a row instead of 3 nights with a night of rest after.

This week is the first following my meal plan and logging all of my food, tracking macros and controlling portions.

I'm whooped, but I'm feeling good - at least right now. Tomorrow, I imagine will be different. For those wondering, I did not skip leg day.

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The more I do this and think about it, the more real it seems and the more obtainable small goals seem.

 

[Nautical]

Not really sure how to start this post out for the ol' journal tonight.

Some nights were frustrating this week, I had to stop a lot or I felt like I was stopping a lot and I didn't like that. I pushed thought, and I did complete the workouts I was there to complete. I feel like I worked out, I can feel the different muscles and areas that I was targeting actually responding to what I was doing. So, maybe there's less to be frustrated than I think - I don't know. A lot of this is still foreign to me.

I nearly talked myself out of going one of my nights this week. I couldn't answer why? It just.. kind of felt bad, but I went. I didn't back out and I went regardless of what I had in my head. A moral victory, if anything I have to hope.

Meals are getting easier. Some of the things are getting easier to eat, some are still bland and boring and I really miss bread.. but it's okay. When I made the first post in this journal I was 15 pounds away from my first goal, as of tonight I am 10 pounds away from that goal. 9 days, 5 pounds. I'm not exactly mad at that.

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I'm amidst an interview for a supervisor position that would.. quite literally pull me out of a hole that I am stuck in. It would mean more money and a more comfortable position for me, regardless of more responsibility.. I've had some of that responsibility before - I'm not afraid of it. I've been chasing a supervisor role before and I feel that's what I'm cut out for. I'm at terms with not getting the position, sure. I understand that there's a chance whoever I'm interviewing alongside gets picked over me with tenure in mind and all that - so be it. This is interview experience and gets my face in front of people and my name across desks. It didn't make sense not to take this opportunity. I have two interviews behind me and I'm being told that while the first one didn't go swimmingly, I kind of gathered myself and swung for the fences on interview number two to show them someone they might strongly consider. A third interview is now looming in the future, with three more to follow.

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I won't spend a ton of time addressing writing, just stating that I'm hoping to do more of it. Seems I've kind of had partners fade away, whether it be my fault or not.. It doesn't matter much to me I reckon. Would just like to kind of try to address whatever might be on my end and try to improve on it so I can be a better writing partner.