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Tinkerer Nadia
Vice President to President Charlie
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2016
- Location
- Canada
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"Oh please, please help me, kind sir!" Called out the fair maiden Leena Sweetibottom, the chicken coup she stood beside devoid of said chickens.
"Won't you help me? I can reward you with this potion of minor healing?"
She sighed. Too forced, too desperate.
"Hey! You! Come here and help a girl out, won't you? I got a potion with your name on it!"
Ugh. Too demanding.
Leena sighed as she had a seat on a barrel beside her small chicken enclosure, sighing. This was hopeless, it was not like any players would come by anyway.
Ugh! The town of Gingerhunny deserved better! Why won't any players come and visit her home, and do her quest?
Leena looked up, the skybox of her MMO world the same as ever. Being a self-aware NPC in an MMO was one thing, but after they updated the starting town to a different location, no one came by to do her quest!
The beautiful redhead sighed. She could still recall the day when low-level players would come by and run around after her chickens. There were 5 in total, all nearby the village. It was mostly just a tutorial on how to Interact with objects, but...ugh.
Now? The only people that came by were people that wanted to role play in a less populated area of the server, and they usually didn't even come into the good town of Gingerhunny anyway. With a deep sigh, she looked around to make sure no players were watching...then opened a web browser.
Being the only self-aware character in this game, she often liked to go online and talk with players. She had tried to make her own character for the game, to try and draw players to town, but the developers kept patching them out of the game. Bored, she decided to check the patch notes for the game, to see if anything new was coming out.
"More loot boxes, more gacha characters...removal of Gingerhunny…"
Nothing unusual. She did like that one new girl they were-
WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Removal of Gingerhunny?!
The young woman grabbed her browser window, pulling it closer to her freckled face. She felt dread flow through her as she saw that they planned to patch her town out in the next update!
She had two options. Leave an angry comment and try to harass the developers into keeping her town, or fix their issue. She decided to email the company, the village girl typing away feverishly.
~~~
Jordan groaned. "Another day at Buzzard...hey Bill, stay out of the women's bathroom!" He shouted at his boss, who was moments from slipping inside. Ugh. Working for Buzzard sucked. These guys were all creeps, and he was the only guy here not drunk and perving on the ladies.
Still, he didn't hate his job. He hated the people at his job, sure, but honestly being the community manager was fun. The fans were such passionate people, and while the boss usually messed it up by being a neanderthal, he loved reading fan feedback.
Unless it was from...her.
He looked over to see another email come in, groaning. "Village4life6969'' was constantly bugging him over the weirdest stuff. Whoever this girl was, she was always demanding he make the developers add things to Gingerhunny village, or promote it more...it was just the older starting town, back before the Chilly Challenge of the Cold King update.
Still, he had a policy to reply to as many emails as possible. Opening it, he read...and felt a little sad. They were removing Gingerhunny? Honestly, that got to him.
Hey, village4life.
I'm sorry to hear that! I was a new player back in vanilla, and have fond memories of the old town. I always loved chasing those chickens even if they were a bit buggy. I can't save the town, but I think I can convince the brass to throw a little goodbye party.
Thanks for being a loyal player all these years! Also, please disregard anything you read online about misconduct! Buzzard is committed to...
He shivered. It was gross having to type that, but rent in California was way too high to lose this job. He finished the email and sent it, a reply coming in almost immediately.
Please….help me. I'm desperate! I'm actually the character Leena Sweetibottom! I have gained self-awareness and if they patch me out I am going to-
Oh boy. This again? He tried to be patient with her, but this player was such a weirdo.
"Bill! For fuck sakes man! Stay out of the women's bathroom!"
Ugh. He can't deal with this. He ignored her for now, instead writing up a request to his boss to try and get approval to celebrate the history of Gingerhunny before it was deleted.
For now...he was feeling kinda nostalgic. He looked around, seeing the men in the office open a keg to get wasted, and rolled his eyes. Fuck it, he was going to play WOAH then.
~~~
Leena read the reply, the dumbass community manager giving her some long-winded response about the office? She didn't care about that! They were going to delete her!
She angrily typed back at him and was about to spam his inbox when she saw the player-in-area count go up.
"Holy shit! A player!" She squealed, getting up and closing the browser. Fuck yes! That was like...one hundred percent more than usual! Leena would get up and stretch her weary, digital body, ready to offer her quest as best she could.
She saw the player enter, a max-level dread knight with the latest gear. Damn, a turbo nerd huh? He probably already did her quest, but it was repeatable so she had a chance. The player walked around for a bit, mostly ignoring her for now. What was he doing?
Desperate for attention, she picked up a rock and threw it at him.
~~~
"What the fuck?!" Jordan gasped, his max-level Dread knight dead. What the fuck hit him for 10 billion damage?! The damage was so high the game lagged out for like a whole minute.
~~~
Oh, God! Leena forgot, she got bored once and jacked up all her stats to ridiculous levels. She ran over to his corpse and looked around. "It was an accident! Please don't log out!"
She watched the body fade only to respawn, letting out a sigh of relief. "Fair traveller! Fair traveller! Uh...did you see that meteor hit you? Man isn't this town so exciting and cool? Hey, invite all your guildmates and you guys can chase my chickens! I got a minor healing potion in it for you~!"
~~~
Jordan was left speechless. Leena was not supposed to be that jacked up stat-wise, but her dialogue was so...weird.
"Hey are u player?" He typed, wondering if it was just a troll using a mod. The player count said only he was in though…
Her response made him nearly fall out of his chair.
"It's me, Leena Sweetibottom! Those idiots at Buzzard are going to delete me! Can you break into their servers and download me?"
"Are u Village4life6969?!"
She seemed to wait for his response, but when she got it, Leena seemed to get mad. "Are you that idiot community manager?! Stop blocking me!"
Ok, this was freaky. She was not flagged as a player, but...it was her right? Village4life6969? When did they release a skin similar to her character model? He looked over at her usual spot, however.
She wasn't there.
Leena wasn't...oh. Oh no.
"Are you...Leena?"
~~~
Leena sighed. "Do I look like someone else? Yes, I am, and your developers are planning on patching me out of existence! You have to help me, it is your job!" Crossing her arms, Leena pouted. This guy was dense, but she finally got through to him. "Help me! Please!"
The Dread knight logged off.
She fell to her knees. No...her last chance...as the other villagers mindlessly milled around town, repeating old dialogue, she started to cry.
~~~
Jordan was running down the hall, heading for the developer part of Buzzard. He had to dodge a few guys crawling around the floor, but he managed to get there unmolested.
"Susan!" He shouted, falling into her office. Damn! He missed one of those idiot drunks!
"Stay back! I'm warning you, I have- oh, hi Jordan."
Susan relaxed as she helped him up. Jordan was a good guy, kept Bill out of the women's room.
"Susan...listen...do you know about any weird AI in Gingerhunny?" He asked, panting from having run through the office, dodging his coworkers. "Uh...yeah, sorta. There is a bug where leena keeps jacking her stats so high she can solo every raid boss at once, but I never bothered fixing it, it's really funny."
"Bring her up on your account." He asked, Susan about to argue with him, but the look on his face told her to just go with the flow on this one.
"Ok... let's log on."
~~~
Leena by now had given up. She was laying in the ground of her village, the mayor Goodman Trustworthyson constantly walking on her despite her best efforts to avoid his random walk cycle. "Ow! Stop it, you cretin! We all knew you were a bad guy from the beginning. That name is so try hard!" She threw a rock at him and watched as his health bar was obliterated, finally able to just look at the sky.
"I want to be free." She said softly.
Suddenly, another player entered! She was about to let out a cheer and start tempting them with minor healing potions when she went pale.
It was a developer tool.
The formless horror started to come after her, the white, pointed arrow descending on her! "Stay away! Don't delete me!" She screamed as she ran away, the cursor trying to lock on her to examine her code, but no way. She was not about to let them delete her!
~~~
Jordan and Susan watched on in disbelief. Leena was screaming at them and avoiding the cursor, as if she was self aware! "Chill out! We aren't going to delete you!" Susan typed, watching Leena grab a nearby villager and throw them at the cursor. "Stay away! I know I can't trust you!"
Eventually, Susan managed to click on Leena and they froze her. "What is all this code? I haven't seen this before…" The two were looking at some pretty strange coding here, no one having the skill to have written this sophisticated a character. She was essentially a fully living being...but how?
"Did you do this?" Susan typed, Leena currently praying for her life, Interrupted by Susan. "Oh, yeah. Cool huh? I was bored so I just modified myself from time to time. That is worth keeping me around, right?"
Susan and Jordan looked at each other. "Go log in!" She told him, and he ran back to his office.
~~~
After pulling Bill out of the breastfeeding room, Jordan had a seat at his desk and logged into WOAH. He got his character back to Gingerhunny with ease, then walked up to Leena, who was by now a little calmer. "Hey! You gotta help, the developers are going to delete me!" She cried, Jordan walking over. "Listen, no one is going to delete u. U are probably the most valuable thing this company has."
A fully functioning AI. This could be insane!
Still, he had to play it cool. "Are u Leena? Or do u like...look like her?" Leena didn't fully understand but tried her best. "I'm her, yeah. Leena Sweetibottom, the lady always asking people to chase her chickens around?"
Susan was up next, the two having a billion questions. "How did you...make yourself this intelligent?"
"That does not matter! What does matter, is you are going to delete me next month! Please don't, I promise to behave!" Leena was begging them, on hands and knees. "I give great ERP! you guys like that right? I heard your company loves sex!"
Jordan flinched. That was just...man. Maybe he should get a new job.
Back to the point, he messaged her back. "U are Leena? We can't let u get deleted." He said, Susan in agreement. They can't delete something this advanced! It was like, murder or something! This company tolerated enough crimes, she was not adding digital homicide to the list.
The issue? Susan was at the meeting where they made the call. No players went there, which meant they couldn't sell anything there, which meant it had to go. At the time she agreed, but now? No way.
~~~
Leena got up, dusting herself off. Did they want to help? Finally! Good news! "Ok you weird people, now rescue me!" She said simply, but Susan could not possibly do that. Somehow, her file size was so big, she would need to order a pretty expensive hard drive just to hold her. How did it work in the game? Susan didn't know.
"We can't just lift you out of there. We need time to get a hard drive, but by the time it arrives…" she would be gone. They needed to buy time, fast.
"Any ideas on how to extend the life of Gingerhunny?" Susan asked, Jordan sweating. He could feel all eyes on him, but he was doubtful Bill would even listen to him. Heck, he was pretty sure Bill would delete the town just to spite him, for always policing his terrible behaviour.
"Would sex work?"
Susan looked over at Leena, who was dead serious. "My research online has shown me your company sells more games the more porn there is of it. If we just make super saucy porn of me, everyone will come by to see me! Hey, I could even have sex with players to keep the popularity up!"
Susan could not believe it. "Look, I know Buzzard has a terrible reputation, but we can't do that! This is a wholesome game company at heart!"
Susan was about to press enter when she heard several office guys chant "chug chug chug!" Behind her, turning to see two men try to outdrink each other, both having at some point undressed.
"Fuck it. I'm in."
~~~
Susan gave Leena full access to the character modeller, while Jordan went and started making promotional material. Susan's job was to make sure no other developers noticed, while they got ready for the...upgrades.
The job was simple. Slut up Leena so she can seduce all the sweaty geeks into visiting town, make some promotional material to spread the word, and make sure no one finds out. Luckily, half the staff were either gaming or harassing, so they were in the clear.
"Are you sure about this Leena? It's not like u have to...do anything sexual. We can just...I don't know…" Jordan asked her, but she was set on this plan. "It's fine, I always wanted to try sex anyway, you real people seem to love it. Besides, it worked for that hero shooter you guys made."
True, but...would it work twice? Amidst all the scandals...he felt like the fans might just get more upset.
Whatever, they had to try. Leena's digital life was on the line!
As the two worked, Leena got busy. She had looked at porn a billion times, her interest in sex no lie, so she knew what she needed. She started by giving herself a more full, defined set of lips, with infinite cherry red lipstick. The cute redhead made sure to leave her freckles alone, figuring they looked good on her anyway. Her more womanly form was already pretty curvy, but she needed a nude model so she could seduce these gamers, going for a nice large areola and thick nipple.
"Oh yeah...this is nice." She said, squeezing them. Fuck…she had to stop herself from touching her tits, tossing her dress off. Ok, time for a defined ass. She made hers more round and bubble butt-shaped, her breasts had grown after all so the ass must look the part. She went online and just stole a pussy, touching it up to make it look more seamless with her light skin, erasing the watermark that came with it.
After making her own anal ring, she just needed to make herself a bit better-proportioned leg and arm-wise...perfect!
The cute village woman had gone from hometown girl to hooker town queen! She looked fantastically sexy, the beautiful girl checking herself out. "Yes! I'm hot!" She declared, Jordan was just glad to hear it worked.
~~~
Jordan was finally finished making special event banners and the like for the game, but he was still pretty unsure about all this. The fans would probably eat it up, but if he got caught, he was fired for sure! Susan was in danger too, so he had to be careful.
Adding the banners to the Buzzard website, he went onto social media to promote the event. Leena had a look at his work now that she was ready, annoyed. "You dumbass! These ads don't sell the idea well. Here, take photos of me."
"What?! I can't do that!" "Do it, you turbo nerd!" She said back, Jordan sighing. He was so fired.
Heading back to the game, he used the screenshot tool to take the pictures. As he had his character walk over, however, he could not help but blush a bit. "Wow, you...Woah." He said, unable to look away from her radiant...sexiness!
"I know, I'm gorgeous. Get over here and take some shots!"
Jordan was left red in the face as he did just that, getting up there and taking photos of her. They started with her dress on, it now barely covering her with her added assets, the uh...graphics something to behold. Jordan had a huge fetish for girls with just barely covered nipples, her areola slipping out from the top of her dress.
"Hey, get my ass too, dude!" She complained, snapping him out of his titty lust and snapping photos of her butt with the camera instead.
She soon tossed her dress away, smirking happily as she saw his reaction. "Your webcam is insecure. Put black tape over it." She told him but was still loving his inability to stay focused. This was a good sign, gamer hand humpers would eat this up like nothing else.
"Hehehe! Let me see the final shots!" She demanded, having all sorts to pick from. Her kneeling, tongue out and submissive looking, another of her bent over and showing off her ass, a few hundred of her tits in various states of jiggle...she was happy.
"Add those to the ads, ok?" She told him, getting dressed as she had a seat on her usual barrel. Now, to wait.
~~~
No way this would work. Sure, Buzzard fans had some of the stickier keyboards he had seen, but I mean...no one is actually going to have the guts to show up to an event this lewd. He sighed, about to suggest a different plan when…
Huh? He looked in game, the screen shaking. Why was the screen shaking?
~~~
Leena felt the ground sift, the sexified NPC looking around. Huh, that was odd, there were usually no earthquakes around…
The player count shot up, the number soaring in seconds. Twenty...fifty...two-hundred...seven hundred…
Leena screamed ad users flooded the server, Gingerhunny being overrun with players of all levels. The chat exploded with people asking if the event was real, the mad amount of players making her have to stand on the barrel to see over the crowd.
Leena smiled. She just had to keep them around long enough for the town to get noticed and let those greedy executives see the value in keeping her around!
"Hey, boys~!"
Everyone turned, even the female player characters.
"Oh goodness, won't you please accept my quest to chase my chickens? You will find that the quest reward has been...well, let's just say if you chase my chickens, I will...choke on yours."
No one moved. Leena waited for a few seconds, then angrily pouted.
"If you do my quest we can fuck!" She shouted, spelling it out. The player characters were still for a moment until suddenly her quest was accepted.
Hundreds of times a second.
Now, the chickens were not instanced in the game world but had a pretty fast refresh rate. So, there was plenty to go around. In only a few moments, she was swarmed with players turning the quest in, the only reason it was taking any time at all was them climbing over each other for those damn chickens.
Leena couldn't be happier! She was finally popular again, finally getting her quest done...and all it took was some marketing, and good old-fashioned sex appeal. It brought a tear to her eye.
"Yo! Here, here!" A Dark elf male character shouted as he tossed the chickens into the pen, Leena moving over to...reward him. "Alright, boys, just sort of go wild and pick a hole, I'm not picky~!"
Oh, they did. Hands grabbed at her tits hard, eliciting a hard moan from the beautiful Ginger-haired woman. "Goodness...you uh...heroes are...oh God…" They were voraciously horny, it's a good thing that player characters had fully modelled genitals for some reason.
Her dress was hiked up and her panties tossed away, as a dwarven man grabbed hold and started to hammer her pussy like nothing else, the dark elf slapping her cheek with his dick. She kissed his shaft as best she could as the insane mob raid took over, thousands of cocks getting released from epic to starting area gear, all pointed at her.
~~~
"It's...working!" Jordan shouted, Susan, running in, just barely avoiding the lead designer's hands as he tried to grope her. "Incredible! I'm going to order the hard drive for her, you just make sure nothing happens!"
"Got it! Just watch the floor, they are doing their crawl again!"
She nodded and ran off, Susan an expert at evading them by now.
~~~
Leena was far less lucky when it came to evading sexual advances. Her pussy was being fucked silly by that dwarf berserker, the dark elf trying to write ERP with her despite her mouth being stuffed with his cock. Her tits were being molested hard by a heroic paladin who kept apologizing to his patron God for his sin of lust, while various other good-aligned characters jerked off to the sight of her being utterly fucked.
She loved it, honestly.
She groaned as the pleasure of being spit-roasted took hold, moaning and gasping into the dick sliding down her throat. Fuck, why was everyone a ten-inch monster? Aside from that one guy who gave himself a tiny, less than one-inch willy, all these gamer geeks had maxed the dick size slider!
"I'm this big IRL!" One player bragged as he dragged his character's dick over her ass, the dwarf making room so they could give her a double penetration annihilation. "Bro, same!"
Leena felt that dick slam into her ass, the stiff member easily filling her. The dwarf was clipping into the guy fucking her ass a little as they hammered away at her, but she doubted immersion was as important as rocketing cum into her. "Fuck! My character is gonna cuuuuuuuum!"
Huh? Leena was about to check who when her throat felt something flood her. Holy fuck...he wasn't kidding. Enough semen to breed a village was sprayed down her throat, the dark elf character failing a constitution check and passing out, his cock sliding free of her lips and covering her face in a few spurts as he fell.
Oh right, her maxed stats.
The dwarf came inside her, his character screaming with orgasm. Her maxed charisma and strength has her pussy wringing every last drop of semen out of the poor guy, the dwarven berserker quickly replaced as more men lined up, her quest completed over and over.
"Would anyone like a minor health potion as a reward instead?" She asked, her answer a man shoving his cock down her throat, face fucking her hard.
The group at this point had her bent over her barrel, ass and pussy being rammed hard and relentlessly, players clipping into each other in the last dick effort to try and get their cock wet before she was overused.
More cum. Her ass got filled up, the poor lad pulling out only to get fucked by the physics engine and flying miles away, the price of clipping into another player being paid in velocity. The other players didn't even care, as a big black wizard cock slammed her ass hard.
"Damn, this bitch never quits!" Shouted a default dancing summoner, who seemed content to dance and watch.
"Man, let's visit Gingerhunny every day!" Another player said as he jerked off onto her face, shooting enough cum to obscure her vision.
The orgy was in full swing, leena being pounded into oblivion.
~~~
"Uah…"
The last man thrust his last, cumming inside her.
Seven hours.
Seven hours of unending, hard sex. Leena groaned as all she could taste, all she could smell...was dick.
She lay on the dirt road in the middle of town, covered in a thick blanket of semen. She had cum...like, a billion times? She was not sure, but she was pretty sure she just fucked the entire player base.
Laying on the dirt road, she could not move. Even with maxed stats, she was exhausted. Slowly getting up after a long rest, she headed to her small village home, went inside and jumped in the bath.
"Jordan, how did we do?"
"Jordan?"
~~~
Jordan was currently sitting in a board meeting, Bill freaking out. "How could you add a sex mod to our game?! Buzzard is a progressive, forward-thinking company!" He shouted, red in the face. "We respect our female characters around here, Jordan! We don't sexualize them like we do our staff!"
Bill shook his head. "I cannot believe this. How will people know that we are inclusive now? I can't just announce another character as gay this time! I'm going to need to...fuck it, change that cowboy's name!"
Jordan was listening to this, his job for sure gone. You know what? He has been fired anyway.
"You know what Bill? You and your buddies are the real problems around here! How many times did I have to pull you off Sharon this week?"
"I don't care about real women! Damnit Jordan! This is more important than some "workplace harassment!" This is about me looking good going into the next fiscal quarter!"
"That is it! Jordan, you are-"
"Boss!"
All of a sudden, Carol from accounting stumbled into the room. He looked pretty beat up, he probably tripped on a cube crawler.
"What is it? I'm firing Jordan for his horrible, sexual degeneracy!"
"WOAH just tripled in profits! Everyone is loving the new event!"
Bill looked over at Carol, then at Jordan. "Let me see the numbers."
~~~
Leena was washed off, dressed, and happy. She was finally popular again, the forums for the game exploding with praise for her, and the new event! They even made memes about that guy that was sent into orbit after cumming inside her.
She did it! She saved the village…she hoped.
As she was resting in her house, she was surprised to see Jordan's character enter the house, the young lady sitting up on her bed.
"I did it. I convinced my boss to keep u."
"That's wonderful! Wait, why are you so depressed?" She asked, his character sitting down. "I got fired so he could increase his salary, in fact, pretty much everyone in community management did."
Oh. That was less good.
"Are you going to be ok?" She asked, and he sighed. "I spent four years working here, I just feel betrayed I guess."
Well, she would not let that stand. "You just hold on Jordan. I think I have a solution that will make the office, and the game better…"
~~~
Bill screamed like a pig stuck in barbed wire, as the cops dragged him out of Buzzard's main office. "You fucks! Who told the government what I was up to?! I only groped a few women anyway, it's not like it's that bad! I made that one character gay! I'm progressive!"
The cops tossed in and a lot of others into the back of a police van, a full-on investigation launched just a few days ago thanks to a massive leak of internal emails. Jordan and Susan smiled as they waved goodbye to Bill, who screeched like a pig again as the van drove away.
"Thanks, Leena. You really did us a favour." Said Susan, a smile on her face. "You got it! Thanks for letting me upload myself to your computer. I think I would rather make games with you guys than have insane amounts of sex to keep my old hometown alive anyway."
Jordan laughed. "Your programming skills are the best, Leena. With the new CEO in charge, the office is finally safe, and I can finally stop looking over my shoulder to keep the women's restroom Bill-free." The three laughed, heading back into the office. They managed to get Jordan's job back in the nick of time, the community manager of Buzzard hoping this would be a new era for the company!
What could possibly go wrong?
As he sat at his desk, he saw the new CEO send out a company-wide email of introduction.
Oh God. Oh God no.
Slackdivision was taking direct control?!
"Oh please, please help me, kind sir!" Called out the fair maiden Leena Sweetibottom, the chicken coup she stood beside devoid of said chickens.
"Won't you help me? I can reward you with this potion of minor healing?"
She sighed. Too forced, too desperate.
"Hey! You! Come here and help a girl out, won't you? I got a potion with your name on it!"
Ugh. Too demanding.
Leena sighed as she had a seat on a barrel beside her small chicken enclosure, sighing. This was hopeless, it was not like any players would come by anyway.
Ugh! The town of Gingerhunny deserved better! Why won't any players come and visit her home, and do her quest?
Leena looked up, the skybox of her MMO world the same as ever. Being a self-aware NPC in an MMO was one thing, but after they updated the starting town to a different location, no one came by to do her quest!
The beautiful redhead sighed. She could still recall the day when low-level players would come by and run around after her chickens. There were 5 in total, all nearby the village. It was mostly just a tutorial on how to Interact with objects, but...ugh.
Now? The only people that came by were people that wanted to role play in a less populated area of the server, and they usually didn't even come into the good town of Gingerhunny anyway. With a deep sigh, she looked around to make sure no players were watching...then opened a web browser.
Being the only self-aware character in this game, she often liked to go online and talk with players. She had tried to make her own character for the game, to try and draw players to town, but the developers kept patching them out of the game. Bored, she decided to check the patch notes for the game, to see if anything new was coming out.
"More loot boxes, more gacha characters...removal of Gingerhunny…"
Nothing unusual. She did like that one new girl they were-
WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Removal of Gingerhunny?!
The young woman grabbed her browser window, pulling it closer to her freckled face. She felt dread flow through her as she saw that they planned to patch her town out in the next update!
She had two options. Leave an angry comment and try to harass the developers into keeping her town, or fix their issue. She decided to email the company, the village girl typing away feverishly.
~~~
Jordan groaned. "Another day at Buzzard...hey Bill, stay out of the women's bathroom!" He shouted at his boss, who was moments from slipping inside. Ugh. Working for Buzzard sucked. These guys were all creeps, and he was the only guy here not drunk and perving on the ladies.
Still, he didn't hate his job. He hated the people at his job, sure, but honestly being the community manager was fun. The fans were such passionate people, and while the boss usually messed it up by being a neanderthal, he loved reading fan feedback.
Unless it was from...her.
He looked over to see another email come in, groaning. "Village4life6969'' was constantly bugging him over the weirdest stuff. Whoever this girl was, she was always demanding he make the developers add things to Gingerhunny village, or promote it more...it was just the older starting town, back before the Chilly Challenge of the Cold King update.
Still, he had a policy to reply to as many emails as possible. Opening it, he read...and felt a little sad. They were removing Gingerhunny? Honestly, that got to him.
Hey, village4life.
I'm sorry to hear that! I was a new player back in vanilla, and have fond memories of the old town. I always loved chasing those chickens even if they were a bit buggy. I can't save the town, but I think I can convince the brass to throw a little goodbye party.
Thanks for being a loyal player all these years! Also, please disregard anything you read online about misconduct! Buzzard is committed to...
He shivered. It was gross having to type that, but rent in California was way too high to lose this job. He finished the email and sent it, a reply coming in almost immediately.
Please….help me. I'm desperate! I'm actually the character Leena Sweetibottom! I have gained self-awareness and if they patch me out I am going to-
Oh boy. This again? He tried to be patient with her, but this player was such a weirdo.
"Bill! For fuck sakes man! Stay out of the women's bathroom!"
Ugh. He can't deal with this. He ignored her for now, instead writing up a request to his boss to try and get approval to celebrate the history of Gingerhunny before it was deleted.
For now...he was feeling kinda nostalgic. He looked around, seeing the men in the office open a keg to get wasted, and rolled his eyes. Fuck it, he was going to play WOAH then.
~~~
Leena read the reply, the dumbass community manager giving her some long-winded response about the office? She didn't care about that! They were going to delete her!
She angrily typed back at him and was about to spam his inbox when she saw the player-in-area count go up.
"Holy shit! A player!" She squealed, getting up and closing the browser. Fuck yes! That was like...one hundred percent more than usual! Leena would get up and stretch her weary, digital body, ready to offer her quest as best she could.
She saw the player enter, a max-level dread knight with the latest gear. Damn, a turbo nerd huh? He probably already did her quest, but it was repeatable so she had a chance. The player walked around for a bit, mostly ignoring her for now. What was he doing?
Desperate for attention, she picked up a rock and threw it at him.
~~~
"What the fuck?!" Jordan gasped, his max-level Dread knight dead. What the fuck hit him for 10 billion damage?! The damage was so high the game lagged out for like a whole minute.
~~~
Oh, God! Leena forgot, she got bored once and jacked up all her stats to ridiculous levels. She ran over to his corpse and looked around. "It was an accident! Please don't log out!"
She watched the body fade only to respawn, letting out a sigh of relief. "Fair traveller! Fair traveller! Uh...did you see that meteor hit you? Man isn't this town so exciting and cool? Hey, invite all your guildmates and you guys can chase my chickens! I got a minor healing potion in it for you~!"
~~~
Jordan was left speechless. Leena was not supposed to be that jacked up stat-wise, but her dialogue was so...weird.
"Hey are u player?" He typed, wondering if it was just a troll using a mod. The player count said only he was in though…
Her response made him nearly fall out of his chair.
"It's me, Leena Sweetibottom! Those idiots at Buzzard are going to delete me! Can you break into their servers and download me?"
"Are u Village4life6969?!"
She seemed to wait for his response, but when she got it, Leena seemed to get mad. "Are you that idiot community manager?! Stop blocking me!"
Ok, this was freaky. She was not flagged as a player, but...it was her right? Village4life6969? When did they release a skin similar to her character model? He looked over at her usual spot, however.
She wasn't there.
Leena wasn't...oh. Oh no.
"Are you...Leena?"
~~~
Leena sighed. "Do I look like someone else? Yes, I am, and your developers are planning on patching me out of existence! You have to help me, it is your job!" Crossing her arms, Leena pouted. This guy was dense, but she finally got through to him. "Help me! Please!"
The Dread knight logged off.
She fell to her knees. No...her last chance...as the other villagers mindlessly milled around town, repeating old dialogue, she started to cry.
~~~
Jordan was running down the hall, heading for the developer part of Buzzard. He had to dodge a few guys crawling around the floor, but he managed to get there unmolested.
"Susan!" He shouted, falling into her office. Damn! He missed one of those idiot drunks!
"Stay back! I'm warning you, I have- oh, hi Jordan."
Susan relaxed as she helped him up. Jordan was a good guy, kept Bill out of the women's room.
"Susan...listen...do you know about any weird AI in Gingerhunny?" He asked, panting from having run through the office, dodging his coworkers. "Uh...yeah, sorta. There is a bug where leena keeps jacking her stats so high she can solo every raid boss at once, but I never bothered fixing it, it's really funny."
"Bring her up on your account." He asked, Susan about to argue with him, but the look on his face told her to just go with the flow on this one.
"Ok... let's log on."
~~~
Leena by now had given up. She was laying in the ground of her village, the mayor Goodman Trustworthyson constantly walking on her despite her best efforts to avoid his random walk cycle. "Ow! Stop it, you cretin! We all knew you were a bad guy from the beginning. That name is so try hard!" She threw a rock at him and watched as his health bar was obliterated, finally able to just look at the sky.
"I want to be free." She said softly.
Suddenly, another player entered! She was about to let out a cheer and start tempting them with minor healing potions when she went pale.
It was a developer tool.
The formless horror started to come after her, the white, pointed arrow descending on her! "Stay away! Don't delete me!" She screamed as she ran away, the cursor trying to lock on her to examine her code, but no way. She was not about to let them delete her!
~~~
Jordan and Susan watched on in disbelief. Leena was screaming at them and avoiding the cursor, as if she was self aware! "Chill out! We aren't going to delete you!" Susan typed, watching Leena grab a nearby villager and throw them at the cursor. "Stay away! I know I can't trust you!"
Eventually, Susan managed to click on Leena and they froze her. "What is all this code? I haven't seen this before…" The two were looking at some pretty strange coding here, no one having the skill to have written this sophisticated a character. She was essentially a fully living being...but how?
"Did you do this?" Susan typed, Leena currently praying for her life, Interrupted by Susan. "Oh, yeah. Cool huh? I was bored so I just modified myself from time to time. That is worth keeping me around, right?"
Susan and Jordan looked at each other. "Go log in!" She told him, and he ran back to his office.
~~~
After pulling Bill out of the breastfeeding room, Jordan had a seat at his desk and logged into WOAH. He got his character back to Gingerhunny with ease, then walked up to Leena, who was by now a little calmer. "Hey! You gotta help, the developers are going to delete me!" She cried, Jordan walking over. "Listen, no one is going to delete u. U are probably the most valuable thing this company has."
A fully functioning AI. This could be insane!
Still, he had to play it cool. "Are u Leena? Or do u like...look like her?" Leena didn't fully understand but tried her best. "I'm her, yeah. Leena Sweetibottom, the lady always asking people to chase her chickens around?"
Susan was up next, the two having a billion questions. "How did you...make yourself this intelligent?"
"That does not matter! What does matter, is you are going to delete me next month! Please don't, I promise to behave!" Leena was begging them, on hands and knees. "I give great ERP! you guys like that right? I heard your company loves sex!"
Jordan flinched. That was just...man. Maybe he should get a new job.
Back to the point, he messaged her back. "U are Leena? We can't let u get deleted." He said, Susan in agreement. They can't delete something this advanced! It was like, murder or something! This company tolerated enough crimes, she was not adding digital homicide to the list.
The issue? Susan was at the meeting where they made the call. No players went there, which meant they couldn't sell anything there, which meant it had to go. At the time she agreed, but now? No way.
~~~
Leena got up, dusting herself off. Did they want to help? Finally! Good news! "Ok you weird people, now rescue me!" She said simply, but Susan could not possibly do that. Somehow, her file size was so big, she would need to order a pretty expensive hard drive just to hold her. How did it work in the game? Susan didn't know.
"We can't just lift you out of there. We need time to get a hard drive, but by the time it arrives…" she would be gone. They needed to buy time, fast.
"Any ideas on how to extend the life of Gingerhunny?" Susan asked, Jordan sweating. He could feel all eyes on him, but he was doubtful Bill would even listen to him. Heck, he was pretty sure Bill would delete the town just to spite him, for always policing his terrible behaviour.
"Would sex work?"
Susan looked over at Leena, who was dead serious. "My research online has shown me your company sells more games the more porn there is of it. If we just make super saucy porn of me, everyone will come by to see me! Hey, I could even have sex with players to keep the popularity up!"
Susan could not believe it. "Look, I know Buzzard has a terrible reputation, but we can't do that! This is a wholesome game company at heart!"
Susan was about to press enter when she heard several office guys chant "chug chug chug!" Behind her, turning to see two men try to outdrink each other, both having at some point undressed.
"Fuck it. I'm in."
~~~
Susan gave Leena full access to the character modeller, while Jordan went and started making promotional material. Susan's job was to make sure no other developers noticed, while they got ready for the...upgrades.
The job was simple. Slut up Leena so she can seduce all the sweaty geeks into visiting town, make some promotional material to spread the word, and make sure no one finds out. Luckily, half the staff were either gaming or harassing, so they were in the clear.
"Are you sure about this Leena? It's not like u have to...do anything sexual. We can just...I don't know…" Jordan asked her, but she was set on this plan. "It's fine, I always wanted to try sex anyway, you real people seem to love it. Besides, it worked for that hero shooter you guys made."
True, but...would it work twice? Amidst all the scandals...he felt like the fans might just get more upset.
Whatever, they had to try. Leena's digital life was on the line!
As the two worked, Leena got busy. She had looked at porn a billion times, her interest in sex no lie, so she knew what she needed. She started by giving herself a more full, defined set of lips, with infinite cherry red lipstick. The cute redhead made sure to leave her freckles alone, figuring they looked good on her anyway. Her more womanly form was already pretty curvy, but she needed a nude model so she could seduce these gamers, going for a nice large areola and thick nipple.
"Oh yeah...this is nice." She said, squeezing them. Fuck…she had to stop herself from touching her tits, tossing her dress off. Ok, time for a defined ass. She made hers more round and bubble butt-shaped, her breasts had grown after all so the ass must look the part. She went online and just stole a pussy, touching it up to make it look more seamless with her light skin, erasing the watermark that came with it.
After making her own anal ring, she just needed to make herself a bit better-proportioned leg and arm-wise...perfect!
The cute village woman had gone from hometown girl to hooker town queen! She looked fantastically sexy, the beautiful girl checking herself out. "Yes! I'm hot!" She declared, Jordan was just glad to hear it worked.
~~~
Jordan was finally finished making special event banners and the like for the game, but he was still pretty unsure about all this. The fans would probably eat it up, but if he got caught, he was fired for sure! Susan was in danger too, so he had to be careful.
Adding the banners to the Buzzard website, he went onto social media to promote the event. Leena had a look at his work now that she was ready, annoyed. "You dumbass! These ads don't sell the idea well. Here, take photos of me."
"What?! I can't do that!" "Do it, you turbo nerd!" She said back, Jordan sighing. He was so fired.
Heading back to the game, he used the screenshot tool to take the pictures. As he had his character walk over, however, he could not help but blush a bit. "Wow, you...Woah." He said, unable to look away from her radiant...sexiness!
"I know, I'm gorgeous. Get over here and take some shots!"
Jordan was left red in the face as he did just that, getting up there and taking photos of her. They started with her dress on, it now barely covering her with her added assets, the uh...graphics something to behold. Jordan had a huge fetish for girls with just barely covered nipples, her areola slipping out from the top of her dress.
"Hey, get my ass too, dude!" She complained, snapping him out of his titty lust and snapping photos of her butt with the camera instead.
She soon tossed her dress away, smirking happily as she saw his reaction. "Your webcam is insecure. Put black tape over it." She told him but was still loving his inability to stay focused. This was a good sign, gamer hand humpers would eat this up like nothing else.
"Hehehe! Let me see the final shots!" She demanded, having all sorts to pick from. Her kneeling, tongue out and submissive looking, another of her bent over and showing off her ass, a few hundred of her tits in various states of jiggle...she was happy.
"Add those to the ads, ok?" She told him, getting dressed as she had a seat on her usual barrel. Now, to wait.
~~~
No way this would work. Sure, Buzzard fans had some of the stickier keyboards he had seen, but I mean...no one is actually going to have the guts to show up to an event this lewd. He sighed, about to suggest a different plan when…
Huh? He looked in game, the screen shaking. Why was the screen shaking?
~~~
Leena felt the ground sift, the sexified NPC looking around. Huh, that was odd, there were usually no earthquakes around…
The player count shot up, the number soaring in seconds. Twenty...fifty...two-hundred...seven hundred…
Leena screamed ad users flooded the server, Gingerhunny being overrun with players of all levels. The chat exploded with people asking if the event was real, the mad amount of players making her have to stand on the barrel to see over the crowd.
Leena smiled. She just had to keep them around long enough for the town to get noticed and let those greedy executives see the value in keeping her around!
"Hey, boys~!"
Everyone turned, even the female player characters.
"Oh goodness, won't you please accept my quest to chase my chickens? You will find that the quest reward has been...well, let's just say if you chase my chickens, I will...choke on yours."
No one moved. Leena waited for a few seconds, then angrily pouted.
"If you do my quest we can fuck!" She shouted, spelling it out. The player characters were still for a moment until suddenly her quest was accepted.
Hundreds of times a second.
Now, the chickens were not instanced in the game world but had a pretty fast refresh rate. So, there was plenty to go around. In only a few moments, she was swarmed with players turning the quest in, the only reason it was taking any time at all was them climbing over each other for those damn chickens.
Leena couldn't be happier! She was finally popular again, finally getting her quest done...and all it took was some marketing, and good old-fashioned sex appeal. It brought a tear to her eye.
"Yo! Here, here!" A Dark elf male character shouted as he tossed the chickens into the pen, Leena moving over to...reward him. "Alright, boys, just sort of go wild and pick a hole, I'm not picky~!"
Oh, they did. Hands grabbed at her tits hard, eliciting a hard moan from the beautiful Ginger-haired woman. "Goodness...you uh...heroes are...oh God…" They were voraciously horny, it's a good thing that player characters had fully modelled genitals for some reason.
Her dress was hiked up and her panties tossed away, as a dwarven man grabbed hold and started to hammer her pussy like nothing else, the dark elf slapping her cheek with his dick. She kissed his shaft as best she could as the insane mob raid took over, thousands of cocks getting released from epic to starting area gear, all pointed at her.
~~~
"It's...working!" Jordan shouted, Susan, running in, just barely avoiding the lead designer's hands as he tried to grope her. "Incredible! I'm going to order the hard drive for her, you just make sure nothing happens!"
"Got it! Just watch the floor, they are doing their crawl again!"
She nodded and ran off, Susan an expert at evading them by now.
~~~
Leena was far less lucky when it came to evading sexual advances. Her pussy was being fucked silly by that dwarf berserker, the dark elf trying to write ERP with her despite her mouth being stuffed with his cock. Her tits were being molested hard by a heroic paladin who kept apologizing to his patron God for his sin of lust, while various other good-aligned characters jerked off to the sight of her being utterly fucked.
She loved it, honestly.
She groaned as the pleasure of being spit-roasted took hold, moaning and gasping into the dick sliding down her throat. Fuck, why was everyone a ten-inch monster? Aside from that one guy who gave himself a tiny, less than one-inch willy, all these gamer geeks had maxed the dick size slider!
"I'm this big IRL!" One player bragged as he dragged his character's dick over her ass, the dwarf making room so they could give her a double penetration annihilation. "Bro, same!"
Leena felt that dick slam into her ass, the stiff member easily filling her. The dwarf was clipping into the guy fucking her ass a little as they hammered away at her, but she doubted immersion was as important as rocketing cum into her. "Fuck! My character is gonna cuuuuuuuum!"
Huh? Leena was about to check who when her throat felt something flood her. Holy fuck...he wasn't kidding. Enough semen to breed a village was sprayed down her throat, the dark elf character failing a constitution check and passing out, his cock sliding free of her lips and covering her face in a few spurts as he fell.
Oh right, her maxed stats.
The dwarf came inside her, his character screaming with orgasm. Her maxed charisma and strength has her pussy wringing every last drop of semen out of the poor guy, the dwarven berserker quickly replaced as more men lined up, her quest completed over and over.
"Would anyone like a minor health potion as a reward instead?" She asked, her answer a man shoving his cock down her throat, face fucking her hard.
The group at this point had her bent over her barrel, ass and pussy being rammed hard and relentlessly, players clipping into each other in the last dick effort to try and get their cock wet before she was overused.
More cum. Her ass got filled up, the poor lad pulling out only to get fucked by the physics engine and flying miles away, the price of clipping into another player being paid in velocity. The other players didn't even care, as a big black wizard cock slammed her ass hard.
"Damn, this bitch never quits!" Shouted a default dancing summoner, who seemed content to dance and watch.
"Man, let's visit Gingerhunny every day!" Another player said as he jerked off onto her face, shooting enough cum to obscure her vision.
The orgy was in full swing, leena being pounded into oblivion.
~~~
"Uah…"
The last man thrust his last, cumming inside her.
Seven hours.
Seven hours of unending, hard sex. Leena groaned as all she could taste, all she could smell...was dick.
She lay on the dirt road in the middle of town, covered in a thick blanket of semen. She had cum...like, a billion times? She was not sure, but she was pretty sure she just fucked the entire player base.
Laying on the dirt road, she could not move. Even with maxed stats, she was exhausted. Slowly getting up after a long rest, she headed to her small village home, went inside and jumped in the bath.
"Jordan, how did we do?"
"Jordan?"
~~~
Jordan was currently sitting in a board meeting, Bill freaking out. "How could you add a sex mod to our game?! Buzzard is a progressive, forward-thinking company!" He shouted, red in the face. "We respect our female characters around here, Jordan! We don't sexualize them like we do our staff!"
Bill shook his head. "I cannot believe this. How will people know that we are inclusive now? I can't just announce another character as gay this time! I'm going to need to...fuck it, change that cowboy's name!"
Jordan was listening to this, his job for sure gone. You know what? He has been fired anyway.
"You know what Bill? You and your buddies are the real problems around here! How many times did I have to pull you off Sharon this week?"
"I don't care about real women! Damnit Jordan! This is more important than some "workplace harassment!" This is about me looking good going into the next fiscal quarter!"
"That is it! Jordan, you are-"
"Boss!"
All of a sudden, Carol from accounting stumbled into the room. He looked pretty beat up, he probably tripped on a cube crawler.
"What is it? I'm firing Jordan for his horrible, sexual degeneracy!"
"WOAH just tripled in profits! Everyone is loving the new event!"
Bill looked over at Carol, then at Jordan. "Let me see the numbers."
~~~
Leena was washed off, dressed, and happy. She was finally popular again, the forums for the game exploding with praise for her, and the new event! They even made memes about that guy that was sent into orbit after cumming inside her.
She did it! She saved the village…she hoped.
As she was resting in her house, she was surprised to see Jordan's character enter the house, the young lady sitting up on her bed.
"I did it. I convinced my boss to keep u."
"That's wonderful! Wait, why are you so depressed?" She asked, his character sitting down. "I got fired so he could increase his salary, in fact, pretty much everyone in community management did."
Oh. That was less good.
"Are you going to be ok?" She asked, and he sighed. "I spent four years working here, I just feel betrayed I guess."
Well, she would not let that stand. "You just hold on Jordan. I think I have a solution that will make the office, and the game better…"
~~~
Bill screamed like a pig stuck in barbed wire, as the cops dragged him out of Buzzard's main office. "You fucks! Who told the government what I was up to?! I only groped a few women anyway, it's not like it's that bad! I made that one character gay! I'm progressive!"
The cops tossed in and a lot of others into the back of a police van, a full-on investigation launched just a few days ago thanks to a massive leak of internal emails. Jordan and Susan smiled as they waved goodbye to Bill, who screeched like a pig again as the van drove away.
"Thanks, Leena. You really did us a favour." Said Susan, a smile on her face. "You got it! Thanks for letting me upload myself to your computer. I think I would rather make games with you guys than have insane amounts of sex to keep my old hometown alive anyway."
Jordan laughed. "Your programming skills are the best, Leena. With the new CEO in charge, the office is finally safe, and I can finally stop looking over my shoulder to keep the women's restroom Bill-free." The three laughed, heading back into the office. They managed to get Jordan's job back in the nick of time, the community manager of Buzzard hoping this would be a new era for the company!
What could possibly go wrong?
As he sat at his desk, he saw the new CEO send out a company-wide email of introduction.
Oh God. Oh God no.
Slackdivision was taking direct control?!