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Archie's, 'it's 11pm and my gaming laptop hasn't arrived yet, so here's some writing tips,' thread.

Archdemon

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Jul 21, 2021
This thread'll aim to achieve one thing: improving your writing with simple, concrete rules that can be applied overnight but improved upon daily. I'll link resources here from famous writers that I find and include some of my own objective rules, and if you like 'em, take 'em, but know that I'll be keeping my opinion out of it and the thread generally clean and unbiased.



Here's what I mean by a rule that might be considered 'opinion:'

1. Starting a sentence with 'started to, began to, went to,' is generally considered weak writing.

It both is and isn't. If your intention was to write, 'he started to walk to the door,' you should probably just say, 'he walked to the door,' because the previous sentence was more inactive than active. And in general, you want to write using strong active verbs rather than weaker ones. But if you intended to write, 'he started to reach for his sword, but before he could, an arrow struck him in the chest,' you've subverted expectations and changed your writing from inactive to active. And therefore, you can see why this advice might be considered opinion. It's subjective to what you, the writer, intended to do with those weaker verbs.

Here's what I mean by something that would be considered a hard and fast rule:

1. William Strunk in his book, The Elements of Style, suggests writers, 'omit needless words.'

> Casey pulled out her weapon and spun it from left to right, creating a dazzling effect as the sun struck the surface of the steel. John shielded his eyes and winced, and in that moment Casey stepped forward and struck him down with her blade.

> Casey unsheathed her sword, John shielded his eyes, and Casey struck him down.

One tells us the sun is shining. The other shows us. And that's obviously not all. The second is far, far punchier if you consider it in the context of an action novel. Likewise, if you can achieve the same effect with one sentence rather than two, do it.



Orwell's six rules for writing:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Hemingway had very similar rules:

1. Use short sentences.
2. Use short first paragraphs.
3. Use vigorous English.
4. Use the positive, not the negative.



Commentary:

Orwell:


1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

How many times have you heard, 'they fought like cats and dogs?', or 'as strong as an ox?' ⁠— In general, you want to leave these out of your writing because they leap out of the page and create an immersion-breaking effect for your reader. You rarely want to remind your reader that they're actually reading a piece of text, especially one with turns of phrase they might've already read before. You want them to remain immersed in your style, not someone else's.

Likewise, the narration of most writing comes from the opinion of the main character themselves. Would your character really describe something as, 'fighting like cats and dogs?' ⁠— Or would they use something character-specific? For example, if your character's a blacksmith, he might say the swords rang with the same sound his hammer did when it struck the anvil. Generally when similes pop up, they're better when they're character-specific.

2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

Writing has rhythm, and short words are easy to follow. Read that again. Writing has rhythm, and short words are easy to follow. (But long sentences that unnecessarily obfuscate themselves with multiple syllables can be a bit of a headache to hold onto.... case in point.)

The reason for this is ambiguity is the death of good writing. You want to use short, clear words to construct sentences because they create very clear images in the reader's mind: the red tree stood on a green hill next to an orange sunset. — Be specific.

3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

I exampled this already. But in general, you want to check your writing for fluff. If something isn't serving a purpose, or isn't there to create an intended effect, then it's distracting the reader from the intended effect. Cut it out.

4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

The difference between showing versus telling. Easily identified when writers hinge their prose on, 'was, had, did,' and other weak verbs. Reading too much passive voice sends most readers into 'The Big Sleep.'

The car was driven off the road by Jimmy. Passive. Someone's telling us what's happening. The car, the object, is telling us, the reader, what's happening to Jimmy, the subject, through an indirect action.

Jimmy drove the car off the road. Active. You're in the character's shoes, and your ass is going over the cliff also. The subject, Jimmy, is you, and the object, the car, you're in, and the verb, drove, is happening to you. ... Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

Stupid science bitches couldn't even make I more smarter! Assume most readers have low reading levels. You'll sell more copy.

Hemingway:

1. Use short sentences.

They're punchy. They're quick. They smack the reader on the nose. And best of all... they're easy to grasp.

When you start cutting your sentences off, people start taking notice. It's the less is more mentality.

This is not to say you can't write long, flowing streams of consciousness, but there's always a time and a place for that sort of stuff; and by and large, you always have to set these things up with short sentences up anyway. Don't think these rules are suggesting you never use other techniques. No. What they're suggesting is that these should be the staples of any writer's toolbox.

2. Use short first paragraphs.

This applies more to novels than role-playing. But it can also be done in role-playing to create a certain effect.

A short paragraph grabs your reader's attention. If the first paragraph doesn't grab, your reader's gone; and so are your chance of selling a novel.

In role-play, you could write a simple three-part sentence to light up your partner's imagination. Something that engages the senses. Then start describing the setting (as is traditional in openers) afterwards.

3. Use vigorous English.

It's Orwell's 'active rather than passive' rule, except with a twist. Use strode instead of walked. Tossed instead of threw. Grinned instead of smiled. Bigger, better, more colourful imagery for your reader to digest. Hemingway was a fan of characters who were larger than life, a skill he achieved through his use of deceptively simple prose to create vivid imagery.

4. Use the positive, not the negative.

So interesting, this one, and one I'd never thought about until I'd read it.

Rather than saying, 'I don't like it when my coffee's served with milk,' why not just say, 'I prefer my coffee black.' Instead of, 'I'd rather not do that,' why not just say, 'I'd rather do this.' The subtle change in positive interpretations of situations creates a profound effect on the writing.

For one: its punchy. For another: readers prefer to read positive prose even when the situation they're reading about is negative, because negative prose creates this kind of dry, sluggish, unbearable effect on the reader, causing people to put the novel down. The trick is to present negative events in a positive way, whilst still achieving the negative connotations the story should have. That sounds a bit weird, right? But it's possible. Positive prose is approachable, content creators and copywriters know this; negative prose, like the kind I often use because I'm a no-bullshit asshole, isn't.



And that's the end of post one. I feel the need to say, (because somebody's gonna come along and misinterpret this), that these are not commandments. They're ground rules. You work up off of them. And then once you've mastered them, you're free to change the game. Want to stagger people with colourful descriptions of setting? Well, why not start using short, simple sentences, using small syllable words, then suddenly slap your reader across the face with a vivid paragraph of intense visual imagery? That's the set-up. That's what turns these rules into gold. Your toolbox can be used any way you want to create an effect, and by contrasting one technique with another, that's when things really start coming into play.

The way to get good at this is to force yourself to write with these techniques in mind. Write them on a sticky note and slap them next to the computer. Read similar texts. Study how your favourite author does it. Chances are even if they're someone you love because of their 'vivid description,' they've ironically done it with short sentences without you even realising it. Sneaky-sneaky, huh?
 
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On Writing Better Scenes In General:

1. Make your character fail. It sucks. It doesn't feel very good. But do it.

From when the role-play starts to when it ends, none of the characters should ever truly be comfortable.

All scenes should include light and dark, hope and despair; that is a writing rule that's elevated my writing massively. It keeps readers on the edge of their seats. Because once everybody's 'comfortable,' you no longer have a story. The story's over. It's reached the kind of off-scale happiness Kurt Vonnegut talks about in his lectures.

This is where I fell to my knees during the process of writing one of my novels three days ago. I was hesitant to have my character fail. He still hadn't truly failed and I was 25,000+ words in... and my novel's heart-warming and charming, but thin and full of fluff.

Your character needs to walk up the hill to come crashing down again, to walk up the hill to come crashing down again. Only then will they be reborn through the struggle. This also makes the character more relatable. In real life, nobody's perfect. Perfect characters are boring.

This works in role-play too. How does a hard man become lovable? — By trying, failing, and trying again.

2. Scenes should begin on the verge of something happening, not hours or minutes before they actually happen.

The biggest epiphany I had the other day was that I was the guy holding the strings and the story was just my puppet. If I want to switch to the antagonist's perspective and have him just—burn down the fucking village to trap the reader in a gauntlet of three flaming chapters, then I should do it. It's the equivalent of booting up an old PS2 game and being thrown straight into the fight; you can work out the finer details along the way, hero, but right now there's work to be done.

Once your scene starts getting fatty, cut it, react to it (here's where TELLING comes in handy, I want to SCREAM this), and then move on. Keep the pace and the tension going and engage your reader from start to end. Though remember to slow down now and then to let your reader digest and gain catharsis for what's happened so far.

This works in role-play too. After sex, take a break. After a blowout, eat some ice-cream. The role-play will last longer, trust me.

3. Don't have ticks that you apply to every single character.

I glanced back at a scene I wrote the other day and noticed I kept on repeating certain phrases, 'he raised his eyebrows,' 'he nodded his head,' 'he frowned,' and so on. By the end of the scene, it was all bobbing heads and dancing eyebrows and long-ass faces.

I fixed this tick by giving each character individual reactions. Where one character raised his eyebrows, another would tilt his head—same thing, different flavour. But it gave the characters life they didn't possess.

Study how often your characters are doing this, because it's a sign your scenes are starting to drag if your characters are acting out the same facial expressions over and over again while talking. This is made even clearer to the reader when you're someone with a tendency to overwrite, and especially if you feel like you have to accompany every dialogue tag with a facial expression. In actuality, the best dialogue tag is, 'said' (full-stop), because it creates a natural rhythm and immerses your reader in the conversation.
 
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On Stories. Quoting Kurt Vonnegut:

There are essentially only eight kinds of stories. And only six of them we still tell today. (This has been proven, F.Y.I.)

They are:

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In general, most stories go like this: man gets into trouble, man gets out of it again. There are some clauses to this, as you can see above, but in general... that's the way it goes.

If you hold onto the fact it's no simpler than that, (because truly, when it comes down to it, it isn't), then you can write stories. We all know how stories go intrinsically through media, television, oral story-telling, general life experience. So if you've ever wondered, 'oh, man, how can I get to be a good storyteller?' Chances are that you already are. What's probably lacking is your ability to exchange your thoughts into words. That's what's called technique. And it only comes with practice.

Most people when they start writing find themselves writing stories without ever really having studied how. That's because it's built right into our DNA. For example, I'm self-taught. But before I started researching all this conceptual 'stuff,' I was sat role-playing with my friends and drawing satisfying conclusions out of thin air. And so were they. And chances are so were you. So remember, when you get caught up in the busy work of learning how to be a better writer, remember that this part's the easy part. It's getting the right words onto the page to tell the story you want to tell that's proving to be a gripe.
 
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Miscellaneous Writing Tips and Tricks For Beginners:

1. Practice the rule of 3.

The rule of 3 is when you describe someone with three adjectives. Tall, dark, and handsome. Is a trope for a reason. J.K. Rowling describes most of her characters using no more than three images. Who's the greasy black-haired guy with the hooked nose and dark robes again? Snape. Who's the silver-haired character with the perpetual smirk and pale skin? Draco. Who's the kid with messy hair, glasses, and eyes like his mother? Harry. Creating characters based upon the rule of 3 allows you to easily reference who's doing what in a story, and when a character walks onto a scene; all you have to do is repeat just a single one of these phrases to know who it is.

2. Use Then and And at the start of sentences to create an interesting effect. Also consider using a semi-colon to draw attention to specific dialogue.

He didn't know what to think. And quite frankly, he didn't care.

Johnny kicked open the door. Then marched through it with his gun raised.

Tonguing his cheek, Joseph glanced at her from across the table. Then said: ''Are you fucking serious...?''


3. When writing dialogue, allow the reader to make up their own minds about who's talking. The more often you do this, the stronger your character's voice will become; because you'll be forced to make their speech unique to themselves, rather than synonymous with the other characters.

''It ain't my fault, Synthia. That's just the way it goes.''
She stood up and planted her hands against the table.
''Just the way it goes? ... Just the way it goes, Mark!? Are you for real!? Are you really this delusional!?''


Notice I haven't wrote, 'he said, she said,' or used any adverbs, yet you can still tell he's being off-handed and her voice is peaking?

4. Use em dash (—) to create separate clauses.

My love for the em dash is unreal. It allowed me to do something I was trying to do for years: inserting separate clauses mid-sentence.

Carl liked her—not in the lovey-dovey way—but at least enough to chase after her.

Frankland Avenue was probably the worst road in town—except perhaps for Rosecrest—and to be seen there was a black mark on anybody's reputation.


The way you do the em dash is to start writing your sentence, then insert the em dash when you feel a natural interruption coming on, then resume the original sentence as if the em dash never happened. Usually, I insert it before 'and' or 'but,' because then the second thought follows naturally after the first one.

5. Em dashes can also be used to signify someone's been interrupted while talking.

''Hey man! How are you—''
''I'm great Paul. But listen. We need to get the fuck out of here.''


If two characters are talking to a third and bossing him around, you could do something like this:

''So if you could just go across town—''
''Get us the gear—''
''And get back here alive—''
''You'd be doing us one hell of a favour.'' John and Farrow grinned.


Here you can see them completing each others sentences. It's ambiguous as to whether John and Farrow said the last sentence simultaneously, but you know for damn sure they're both grinning like cheeky sons-a-bitches.

6. A new paragraph should not start only when it's time to introduce a new speaker/time/location. A new paragraph should start every time you have a new point to make. Hitting 'enter' more often makes for better copy.

Looking around, Jason entered the building.
He saw tall shelving units, an empty front desk, and a black and grey hallway. He breathed in slowly. The place smelled old and musty.
Approaching the front desk, he leaned across it and said: ''Hello...?''
No one answered.
Frowning, he decided to walk the corridors until he found what he was looking for instead....


And then, and then, and then. And then, but then, so then.

Think about it like this. The first word of a new paragraph begins to produce an effect. As more words get added to the chain, the effect gets weaker, and weaker, and weaker.

So if the paragraph strings along, eventually your reader starts to wonder what the point was. If your intention is to obfuscate the point and create rambling internal monologue, then fantastic; you've achieved what Oscar Wilde was going for in The Picture of Dorian Gray when he wrote three straight pages using only a single paragraph. But if you're looking to write digestible copy, hit that enter button every time you feel like your character is taking a new, decisive action.

In my shitty, quick write-up, Jason realises nobody's coming to the front desk, so he decides to take a look around for himself. It's un-elegant and simple, but it shows how one thread leads to another. Jason has to go and find the answers for himself. Man can't sit there being the inactive protagonist, he needs to take charge and do something.

7. If your story can be summed up as, 'and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened;' you don't have a story.

A story is a series of consequences. Abide by the rule of karma. A+B=C. Not A+B = AB. Cause and effect must come into play during a story. Otherwise you get one of those stories people walk out on. One of those stories where you turn to your other-half during the movie and whisper, 'Nothing's happening?' Like Fast and Furious 5, or some shit.

Let's look at an example.

Jim went to the shops and bought an ice-cream. He waved at his friend Pat along the way. Once he'd gotten back, he sat down and put his feet up and ate it.

Now let's look at a second example.

John's car broke down on the freeway on his way to work. Cursing, he got out and went around back, then pulled out the spare tire and the jack. After fifteen minutes, he'd swapped the tire out and got moving again; and made it to work with time to spare.

In the first example, nothing happens. Jim does this, and Jim does that, and good-for-Jim. In our second example, the car breaks down, John is in a hole, but John is a resilient motherfucker who knows how to fix a tire. He gets himself out of the hole and makes it to work with time to spare. We learn something about John. He's the kind of guy we wanna be. The kind of guy we want on our side. It's conflict-resolution. Who's Jim? .... Who cares.

Role-plays die slow deaths when nobody does anything. When your partner's always 'just good,' and doesn't realise he/or/she/or/it needs to get into a rut now and then. For a story to work, both partners need to take turns being the chump. If you've ever felt like the story's going nowhere, that's either because you or they weren't writing 'but' enough.
 
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