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Following, What's it's purpose?

Chaos

Chaos

Supernova
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Location
Wisconsin
What's the deal with following people? when does it give alerts? I've gotten nothing from following people so I only have one person left on there.
But I have several people who have followed me and never messaged me and it's weird and a little unnerving. Why are they following me? For what gain? Did they like my request thread?
I had a new person follow me recently and since I basically don't have any RPs going, one partner, maybe posts once a month if I'm lucky, so I messaged them to ask why and they said they were too nervous to ask for an RP just yet. Should I then say hello to every new person who follows me? Should I send a message to everyone who is following me to inquire as to why?

I just have a lot of questions about this following thing, like can I remove people from following me? I have one person who ghosted me despite everything seeming to be going great and it bothers to see them still following me. I think they quit BM so I can't even ask them to stop following me.

The whole thing just bothers my anxiety.
 
I take it as a red flag when a potential partner has all their privacy stuff locked down. I mean, I'm an introvert and private person, but this is a site for social interaction... so, when someone doesn't want me seeing if they're online or if they read my PM, then I put the problem on their side, not mine. I kinda assume they're prone to ghosting and think it's a layer of camouflage.

On the flip side, I can't see any purpose of following other than to keep close tabs on someone else. That feels a little creepy. I wonder if it's so they get more alerts about when I'm online or bumped (and didn't reply to them yet?). I did follow people when I first joined, but I didn't find any value in it. I give the benefit of the doubt that a follower isn't stalking me, they just see it as a way to 'connect' more, but if we're playing, I feel connected enough. Most of my followers haven't messaged or played with me, or not in so long I forgot them. So, I can't be that interesting for them to follow.
 
oh ya, I can agree to that. It's a social site, what are you hiding? I already have enough trust issues, and thanks to the site's ghosting policies I have extra abandonment issues ontop of what I already had! It's basically safe to assume no RP lasts longer than 3 months and 99% of people will not tell you why they're dropping you, so if the problem is yourself, good luck figuring out what that is!
But I'm targeting. I just find this following system weird and a little unnerving.
 
Usually I'll follow back if I'm followed first, but that's about it for me. I used to follow partners I have my favorite stories with, but I've gotten way more selective about that. I don't follow people I haven't started anything with. If I see an RT I like, I watch the thread, not follow someone without a word.

That said, yeah, it is kind of weird when someone follows you out of the blue without saying a word to you, and then never unfollow after they've ghosted you, or just cling on after never starting a thing with you. Most of my follower list is like that: people who ended up ghosting me. But hey, there's worse things, you know?

Ultimately, how you choose to handle being followed is up to you. There's no hard and fast rule, after all.
 
I used to follow as a reminder to myself if someone's recent RT bump had me interested yet I had no space to start something new. I would then message later when I had an open spot and if they were still active. I have since stopped the practice, not because I feel it's creepy in any way but because I found that anyone I waited on usually wasn't around when I had a free space so just ended up unfollowing anyways.

Now it's really just a tally of some people I have played with, doesn't serve much of a purpose.
 
I’ve really been wondering about “following” etiquette!

With so many social media platforms allowing and encouraging “following” as many people as possible, it would make sense if some players passively follow in this model - someone looks interesting or catches their eye, so they follow but never directly contact.
 
For me it is just a book mark. Maybe I like something about the person and/or their profile and I want to message them about RP but perhaps I can't at that moment so it is a way of keeping track. I don't do it often as I know it is weird to be followed by someone you don't really know.

I don't know if you are supposed to get alerts or whatever because of it but I have never seen one.
 
I keep my profile pretty open except for that thing that shows when I was last on. I'm around here a lot, a regular in the chat. I'll tend to have chat open as I do other stuff (work, read through ESPN, whatever) and I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. Sometimes I'll technically be 'on' BM but not be focused on RPing. Don't want someone getting all weird saying "you're around, why aren't you replying to me?"

I do find following a bit weird. I'll follow a friend/partner back if they follow me but I always shoot people a message if they follow me out of the blue with some curiosity. Usually it's someone that found something about me or my RT interesting, one time I even got a "my bad, my finger slipped".
 
It's the same as bookmarking. I really wouldn't try and think about it past that.
 
People follow you so that they can watch you shower. (<_<) Make sure that you clean behind those ears real good. *heavy breathing*
 
I don't really understand what's weird or creepy about it, considering any information available on your profile is voluntarily provided, and therefore as public as your settings allow.

Personally, I don't follow anyone because the info given from following is of no use to me. If someone is online and hasn't messaged me back, I assume they're seeing to other things. If someone has their profile set to private, it could be they are selective about what they write about and who they do it with. It's easy to presume anyone on site is as big a kinkster, or whatever, as you. But some, maybe more than you suspect, are private people who only want to share this sort of sensitive information with those they choose.

A follow is as innocuous as a like on Facebook or a "🔥🔥🔥" on an IG post. This is the internet. Trying to discern the motives of any one person is just going to tire you out.
 
Xanax said:
I don't really understand what's weird or creepy about it, considering any information available on your profile is voluntarily provided, and therefore as public as your settings allow.

A follow is as innocuous as a like on Facebook or a "🔥🔥🔥" on an IG post. This is the internet. Trying to discern the motives of any one person is just going to tire you out.
Click to expand...

Anxiety is a 'wonderful' thing, what can I say. Even when you know you shouldnt worry, you still will.
 
I've wondered why. F but don't interact? I used to pm them to ask, now I ignore it unless they approach.
 
Revisiting this after several months: my “following strategy” is based on nothing and constantly changes, lol. I’ll go on following sprees, then I’ll forget about it altogether for a while.

I don’t get weirded out when random people follow me, as I see it as the most passive and non-obtrusive way of connecting on a platform, and don’t read any meaning into it. If I follow someone, it can mean that I like something they’re doing, I think they’re clever or interesting, we’re writing partners, or they just randomly caught my eye. I actually really like the following feature and feel like I should use it more than I do.

I know on some platforms there’s a prestige thing where you’re cooler if you have a higher ratio of followers to following. I don’t buy into that strategy at all.
 
As someone else said, I use it as a bookmark. Sometimes I'll see a person's request thread that I like but I either won't have space for another story or their request thread might be a work in progress so I don't reach out.

It's rare that I actually reach to the people I follow anyways but that's how I use the feature.
 
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