Pygalgic
Planetoid
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2011
By way of introduction
Like you, I'm here to have a good time. Unlike you, I am a perfect being that will live eternally through the memories of all children born on June 17th with a Y in their name.
My heart is a two terabyte drive and my tongue is a pop socket.
I'm the pet rock no one ever believed in until it beat the sun in a rap battle.
Maybe it's my west coast style, maybe it's because I've been doing this for a while; I like to take a laid back approach.
I'm chill AF.
Also I'm a total pervert.
I feel like the best way to get an idea of who your RP partner is and what they're looking for is to take a look at their f-list, then their story ideas, and then whatever the fuck else they think you ought to know. To that end I've ordered my request thread so you see my f-list, then my plots, and then I've got some general notes. There are no gotchas to make sure you've read it, or haven't.
I think that's a silly thing to do.
F-list.
On grammar, syntax, etc.
Third-person past tense, please. You don't need to be perfect. I'm not perfect.
On availability, posting, and norms
Hit me up if you haven't heard from me in a week. If I don't get back to you, it's not because I hate you or your shit sucks, it's because I'm making an adobe hut or growing mushrooms or working a second job or screaming into the void.
On settings, themes, etc. (but mostly me)
I don't know if you've noticed, I have a sense of absurdity that I like to employ. That does not mean I cannot be serious in RP, but that in our personal interactions I will likely crack jokes 'n shit because that is who I am. I am... Kind of weird. IRL, I go along to get along, but here I can do pretty much whatever the fuck I want so sometimes that includes SCREAMING FOR NO REASON and gifs.
Oh, and it's really important to me that my partners feel comfortable talking to me. No jokes this time.
Your boundaries matter. You matter. At the end of the day, no one can take your dignity if you do not give it to them, but they will do their damnedest into tricking you into believing you have no dignity in the first place.
If you get nothing else from this hot fucking mess, please take a moment to reflect on the fact that you are uniquely you, there is no one else quite like you in the whole heckin' universe, and that you are imbued with a long train of experiences that make you fully distinct and separate from anyone else. You are intrinsically valuable if just for your distinction.
On fandoms
Generally not about 'em.
Your Ideas
If you think you have an idea that I might like, let me know. The worst I can do is say no thank you, and wish you the best of luck.
Or reveal that I'm the stranger who has been spray painting dicks on your bathroom ceiling. OR REVEAL THAT YOU'RE THE STRANGER WHO'S BEEN PAINTING DICKS ON MY BATHROOM CEILING MISTER WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I HAD A SKYLIGHT IN THERE BEFORE YOU DICKED IT.
Next Steps
Shoot me a PM.
Like you, I'm here to have a good time. Unlike you, I am a perfect being that will live eternally through the memories of all children born on June 17th with a Y in their name.
My heart is a two terabyte drive and my tongue is a pop socket.
I'm the pet rock no one ever believed in until it beat the sun in a rap battle.
Maybe it's my west coast style, maybe it's because I've been doing this for a while; I like to take a laid back approach.
I'm chill AF.
Also I'm a total pervert.
I feel like the best way to get an idea of who your RP partner is and what they're looking for is to take a look at their f-list, then their story ideas, and then whatever the fuck else they think you ought to know. To that end I've ordered my request thread so you see my f-list, then my plots, and then I've got some general notes. There are no gotchas to make sure you've read it, or haven't.
I think that's a silly thing to do.
F-list.
CAPEPUNK
since no one asked-
kinda wholesome; character focused; still smutty
Imagine what it would be like to be born into a superhero family team, ala the Fantastic Four. Globe trotting, cosmos crossing, mind expanding adventures pitting yourself against everything from an alternate reality to a world eater and winning! Not just doing good things but being recognized and handsomely rewarded.
But what if that was your parents and your two siblings. And not even your older siblings, like literally YC is the middle child, bracketed on both sides and beaten. Raised by a succession of quickly rotating nannies and housecleaners until YC was sent off to boarding school, only to be returned after an incident that was hushed up with a quick infusion of cash.
No one ever directly needed to say you're not good enough to YC's face. It was obvious.
But now YC is taking a stand. She's going to get into the family business, and for once her parents support her. It's contentious, with both expressing reservations, but they're not going to stop her. There's one hard rule, though: she can't be part of the family team. She can't use the branding or the logo, or refer to them, because they've done such a good job erasing any evidence of YC's connection to her own family that at this point it might hurt their reputation, and that would only serve to embolden their enemies and impede their good work.
This is essentially the inverse of superfail, however the outcome is much the same. This time YC is going to have to confront the black and gray morality of the vigilante game, lecherous and predatory established superheroes, coming into her own power (because fuck yeah YC's gonna be cool as hell!), and coming face to face with desperate people pushed into a corner. -
Your character is a superheroine. That's right, superpowers! One of the elite! One of the new motherfucking gods!
Which would be, like, hella cool and make your parents proud unlike your brother who "has a good work ethic" and "doesn't assume he knows everything" if you were remotely competent.
Instead, YC is a deeply flawed, over-competent woman trying to do the right things for the wrong reasons who gets her comeuppance again and again at the hands of minions, unarmed thugs, teenagers and pathetically low-level villains. -
henchwoman, management track, how are you going to explain this one to mom and dad?
Your character got the internship! Yay!
But...
It's not in the five year plan.
It's unpaid (of fucking course).
There's no way her college is giving her credit for it.
There are some unexpected hazards.
It may implicate her in some crimes.
Oh yeah, and it wasn't actually her idea, she and a group of other college students were abducted at a job fair by the Chairman, a suit and tie themed villain with a private island. It could be worse though.
The ones who didn't pass orientation got fed to the laser sharks.
What does your character do? Lean into the minion life and try to climb the ranks from Intern to Junior Exec and get into the coveted Leadership Training Program? Does she make a break for it? Does she decide to overthrow her capitalist master and become the ideologically uncomfortable superhero we don't need and only maybe deserve if you're feeling generous?
Is this more of a premise than a plot? Yes, it is open ended. Will question talking become a theme in this thread? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DR GARBAGEMOUTH SHITTALKER PAR MEDIOCRITY, ESQUIRE -
superheroine x villain or supervillain x supervillain
This is a little involved so bear (rawr bear hands) with me for a second. I'm going to put this in a bulleted list so it's easier to follow (for me, anyways).
- MC and YC are rivals, no, nemeses like in an Old Testament hammer-and-tongs gut-churning hate kind of way
- MC is a bad man who sees YC one night in her civilian identity. He has his way with her, and robs her on top of it, so now he has her ID and knows where she lives.
- YC does not reveal who she really is because that would blow up her whole regular life. Whether hero or villain, she has friends and family, and is reasonably worried that MC would go after them.
- YC claps back at MC in her cape identity in a big way. There's an escalation and she beats him in a way that makes their peers take a step back and quietly whisper. The kind of thing you just don't do.
- MC fades into the background to lick his wounds and recover for a little bit, and when he's fully recovered, he visits YC--as a civilian--for a bit of power-control hard dicking. They do, after all, have the same height, weight and build so he can his frustrations out on YC with no repercussion.
FANTASY
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MC is the Commander of an army at war. He just lost his battalion battle mage, and a new one arrived this morning. YC is a freshly trained and released sorceress with a lot to learn about non-theoretical battles. The Commander also intends to teach the young, naive girl a few other aspects of her duty. Her first night in camp, the Commander sends for her to sleep in his tent with the reminder that it's her main duty to protect him and his high ranking officers. She obediently moves her things into his tent and abandons the one selected for her earlier.
Maybe he takes her that night, and muffles her screams in the pillows. Maybe he waits until she trusts him, until she feels too ashamed and awkward to tell him "no" as he pushes her down into the furs and sheets of his camp-bed. Does he keep her all to himself, or use her like a reward for particularly distinguished acts of valor from the men? Will her magic continue to work as intended when he's breaking her spirit and bruising her body? Will she lash out at him and face the punishment afforded to mages who misuse their abilities? Do the other men in the camp know what he's doing to her? Do they mind?
This is from an RP that fell through and I am craving it much-ly. -
queen humiliation; degradation politics; monster bankers
Imagine a happy, bucolic kingdom that has gone without starvation, without civil strife, without border wars, and without succession crisis. A land ruled by a good king and queen.
Unfortunately, they both passed away when the queen slipped on a stairwell and the king followed trying to grab and save her.
Now, YC has been unexpectedly thrust into her role as queen of this idyllic kingdom.
But, uh, it's a hot mess. See, some dead white guy said that the sinews of war are infinite money. Well apparently the sinews of peace are exactly the fucking same. Dear old mom and dad borrowed heavily from the aristocratic families that supported them, the neighboring states, and a mysterious foreign bank.
The kingdom is in debt to e v e r y o n e, and now that YC's the queen that means she's in debt to everyone. The first people to come collect are this mysterious foreign bank, and they do so by way of strange magics that she has never before seen. They also reveal that they have totally infiltrated her castle staff and there is nowhere she can run.
Plus, the bank is run by monsters. Whether they be goblins, orcs, illithids, or something weirder is something I want your input on. -
like a monkey's paw with a bigger dick
Everyone's done an accidental demon summoning roleplay. They're great--demons get be big dicked evil monsters, their summoners get to pretend to innocence before being corrupted. Oh, the drama! Oh, the corrupted innocence!
I want to turn that on its head a little bit. YC "accidentally" summons a demon--no, fuck you, she does because it's 99% not going to work but what if she did get a demon to do her bidding wouldn't that be awesome? What she gets is a very honest, upfront demon who basically says, "Hey, I'm going to corrupt you, I'm going to change your life, you'll never be the same. Oh, and you get wishes."
So YC goes for it. Fuck it, why not? Wishes like a genie? Why *the fuck* not. What she finds is that the demon will fulfill those wishes so long as she follows a short, but detailed and specific, set of instructions. These will set off a chain reaction that will pretty much always result in some amount of sexiness and her degradation. -
Mage: the Ascension
There is a 0.01% chance that anyone gives a fuck about this. I will run a lewd-ish (on a spectrum of lewdness from showing ankle to CHECK OUT MY F-LIST) M20 game for you. Traditions, Technocrats, Disparates, Marauders, Nephandi (maybe) I don't give a FLYING FUCK AT A ROLLING DONUT I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK AT THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. -
magic; resurgent cults; demons; mystery & investigation
Pop sensation Britney Speares aside, YC finds out she is a wizard. Huzzah! Hurray!
Unfortunately, she is not among the wand-and-cape set. She's unflinching defiance so severe it curls and ruptures the fabric of reality until she lashes it back together into what she wants. Sounds crude, but that's because she's new to the game. Luckily, she got a mentor who cares about her (and slips her that wizzard D) and is available to help when she needs it but doesn't bother her too much. Part of that might be their trauma bond.
See, there was a time when shit just wasn't working out for YC. She had a deep feeling that there was something more to life, that she was missing something, and that it was the kind of something that most people missed. She filled that hole with a heady combination of fringe New Age spiritualism, Gnostic Christianity, and a charismatic leader. She was drawn into the cult like so many others have been in the past and quickly found her way to the leader's inner circle.
Finally the prophesied day came when the cult would ascend, and to her horror she found that it was a... Living nightmare.
Some kind of summoning. It was bloody. The only reason she got out is because her mentor showed up.
Two years later and the handful of other survivors who made it out are being picked off one by one in unlikely accidents--y'know, like drowning in a corner store.
With mystical abilities, a sense of persecution and a life left in tatters, what does she do? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK ON Yer a wizard TO FIND OUT! -
I'm going to hell for this one, want to come along?
As a succubus YC's job is straightforward: use human desire to corrupt souls. Was it what YC wanted out of (un)life? Hard maybe. Are there worse jobs? You need only hear Tina's job title one time to know it could be much worse.
So YC get summoned to Earth when this guy solves a sulfurous, burning puzzle box inscribed with the sins of a thousand torturers, no biggie, and the succubus is faced with this man. His hair is curly, strawberry blond, he has eyes like winter lakes, and freckles dusted across his cheeks.
Problem: this guy is pure. He's horny, sure, but he's actually good and he cares about how you feel. When he makes YC orgasm she gets a jolt of energy unlike anything she's experienced in your life. Which sort of but not quite make up for the fact that his soul is like Teflon, YC just can't get her fingers on it. And she's kind of starting to remember her life before being a demon, she's confronted with emotional warmth and a sense of dignity, a sense of individual importance and value.
Oh, and he's moping around because his family members keep on getting kidnapped.
Also, YC pretty sure she just witnessed him turn PBR into wine when he got drunk at a friend's wedding.
Who does that? -
purgatory, final flight, pokemon rip off
You've gone and caught me on some bullshit. Here goes:
Your character is running. Knee-high dust clouds kick up beneath her feet and a blood-drenched friend is chasing her with a cleaver.
She thought that going out hiking was going to be a celebration of her hard work. Instead, one of her oldest friends used it as an opportunity to hunt YC and her friends down one by one.
YC slips, tumbles, barely manages to get back up and onto her feet and sprinting in time to avoid a plunging swipe with the blade that would have separated her head from her neck. The setting sun is in her eyes and he's gaining on her and it's past even her second wind so she jumps--
oh shit oh no oh fuck, she's falling down the side of the canyon she had hoped she could make it and darkness and--
She wakes up. Couple notes: 1) the sun is low and fat and blood red on the horizon. The long grass squirms against her shoes when she steps through it. Basalt boulders with chiseled holes sing when the wind blows through them. 2) YC is alive.
In short order YC finds an old bindlestick and sack with a strange tome and sturdy clothes. She meets a stranger on the road. She finds the nearest town.
It's like pokemon, but she's being chased by a slasher and has to find her way out and collect a badge from each town or else she won't come back to life.
Confused? Me too! Think of this like a sandbox game for YC's life. Will she overcome her obstacles, defeat the madman who killed her, and find the secrets of the liminal path or be defeated and consigned to a fate worse than or equal to death?! Find out by PMing me.
MODERN
-
Things are not going good for YC's family. Quick rundown of problems: live in modern day tenement housing, being unfairly targeted by the landlord due to your parents bringing a class action suit against him, father is on disability and depressed, mother works three part time jobs, YC just got laid off your highly unstable seasonal job.
YC, though, is given a proposition by her landlord: do what he says, become his little fucktoy, and he'll stop sending guys around to intimidate her family and beat up her dad. And if she says no (please say no) he'll put the screws to her in some fairly inventive ways. -
welp, you're fucked now
For whatever reason--judicial activism, prison reform, sheer overcrowding--YC has been sent to a men's prison. She's going to have to contend with being traded around by prisoners, guards, and staff as she is the only woman in the prison. This is pretty much an excuse for straight 24/7 degrading smut. Hope you like it! -
naive woman, dirty men
Real talk: homelessness is a stupid problem. I live in a first world country where there's plenty of food, reliable power, and an education system and I honestly, fully and truly believe that if, as a society, my country came together with singular focus we could end homelessness forever. We could put systems in place to evaluate people, hear what they want and need, and find some way to serve their needs while also serving society's needs. Some people might just be lazy, sure, and some might prefer that lifestyle, and I think those two groups are the minority of people in that situation. People talk about mental illness, drug addiction, and poverty being the primary drivers: those are solvable problems.
All that real talk aside, let's talk about how dirty and humiliating it would be to like try and help out the situation and be naively rooked (or forced) into fucking a bunch of homeless people. Dirty old men, dirty young men, weirdos, the whole nine yards. Out in some camp littered with dusty tents. Maybe your shitty friend gets you to run a homeless shelter for men overnight, by yourself, with no one to help you. Those would be twelve memorable hours, right? -
in over her head; cashing that check with her ass
MC is a steroid dealing and abusing piece of shit who got kicked off the basketball team due to his poor academic performance. The only way for him to get back onto the team is to get his grades up, and that's where his dad comes in.
See, his dad is the CEO of the company YC's parents work at. Yikes! And YC is the valedictorian. Whoo!
Unfortunately, YC's parents boast, as proud parents are wont to do, and MC's dad makes it perfectly clear that unless YC straightens out MC's grades situation they're going to get fired. No ifs, ands, or buts about it! Welcome to capitalism.
It getsbetterdefinitely worse because MC is hot for tutor and understands the stakes. He'll tank his grades if he doesn't get what he wants, and YC knows it. After all, all daddy has to do is make a sizeable donation to the Ivy League school of his choice. The daddy CEO incentivized YC is because it'll save him some money in the long run if his kid doesn't flunk out of college.
SCIENCE FICTION
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district 9 can you believe that movie is over 10 years old; get rich quick; do anything to make it
Extraterrestials do exist. Aliens are out there. Space beings have been watching.
And once contact was made--in a manner not dissimilar to Commodore Perry's opening US relations with Japan--things went on as normal. Except, again I cannot help but draw certain parallels to Japanese history, now there were aliens on Earth.
Albeit, these aliens are restricted to "Alientown," a sprawling metropolis governed by an inscrutable patchwork of alien laws. Due to the way things worked out with the aliens, humanity was forced to accept a slow rollout of alien technology over the course of centuries. Which means that alien technology is mostly contraband.
And what do we humans do when told we can't have something? We do fucking anything to get it. Prohibition has created a new form of black market, and YC is on the ground floor. For the sake of this plot, YC is someone who has access to and may even live in Alientown for small stretches. While she is under intense scrutiny when she leaves Alientown, if she can smuggle literally anything out and sell it to interested parties she'll be set for life.
And so will her children. And her children's children. And their children. And their children.
What kind of horrible smutty shenanigans will YC get up to so that she can get Bezos rich? -
spehss: the final frontier; near solar system space colonization; an unfortunate sort of lottery system; breeding; spehss humiliation
I truly enjoy thinking about the kind of massive undertaking required to colonize space, and what it might look like.
I also love tiddies.
Space tiddies.
This is sometime in the future, climate change has continued to wreak havoc on our species and it's becoming increasingly obvious that shit is untenable. We lost Florida. However, "lucky" for us there are billionaires vying to become the new emperors of mankind via their spehss colonies.
These colonies are early, but there's opportunity, it's prestigious and rare to be chosen to go up to them. The one way ticket off world is the one way out. What YC is at least somewhat aware of is that the birth rate in space colonies is really low, for a variety of factors; the atmosphere is off, the food's not great, there's a heightened level of background radiation in the journey to the colony, there may be some other as yet unknown biomedical reasons. But whatever, who cares? She's been selected in the lottery to go up to space because, nominally, she's wicked smart and a hard worker.
Really it's because a council of men decided she would look really good with their dicks in her mouth and a round belly.
Space humiliation! Space bang! Space gang-space! Space space-bang! Space space-space! -
in a galaxy far, far away; displaced in time
A fucking inscrutable alien (it's not really clear if it's a single entity or hive mind being or something weirder we don't have a name for) abducted YC and ten thousand other humans from across the world over decades. It left and sometime later ran out of money. No longer able to keep its mobile zoo of primitives kept in stasis afloat, it was forced to give all of its humans up to probate. After a few more years of a fierce legal battle that sent important shockwaves rippling through the vast interstellar community, humanity was deemed sentient and fully entitled to certain rights (such as self-determination).
The Naturalist, the name given to the alien that collected the Ten Thousand, is stubbornly refusing to give up any information on where Earth is. And none of you can help, because none of the constellations you came up with were any good. They only look that way, after all, from Earth during specific times. Side note: the Naturalist also refuses to give up precisely how long it had you guys in stasis, although preliminary investigations point towards a long ass time.
YC, and 9,999 other people, are set loose onto the galaxy with a stipend and enough cybernetic augmentation to breathe the weird ass shit they breathe out here, eat alien food and speak and understand GalStan, the lingua franca of space. Does YC try to find Earth? Become a mercenary? Lead a new human community? Leave behind all sense of human mores and taboos and fully integrate into an alien society with a fuck based social caste hierarchy?
Do you want to have fun space opera shenanigans? This is for you! And me. -
world war earth; we lost; out of context problem
Aliens came, saw, and conquered. They were not chill about it. As a matter of fact, their culture and philosophy was remarkably similar to one that has gained notoriety on Earth: fascism!
That's right, space Nazis have come down to Earth and taken over. Your character is an archivist working for the Administration, the new world government the Celestial (the aliens) put in place. Her job is to input human media and data into a Celestial database. Very few humans have the training to use Celestial technology, however, she's one of the lucky ones.
Unluckily, she's caught the eye of a perverted Celestial internal intelligence agent. This is especially unlucky not just because she doesn't have a choice, but she's an active member of the Resistance. -
have you ever noticed how like every abduction story has to do with fucking?
Conspiracy theories are really entertaining. Finding the humor in them is how I deal with the carcinogenic death of intellectualism and reason within my culture. In particular, alien conspiracy theories are buck wild. We're talking larger than life personalities, secret cabals going back decades IF NOT MILLENNIA, the Bible, and just so many nerds screaming at each other over what sounds like a cheap, plot hole riddled sci fi thriller. But there is a thread to alien abduction stories that's weird, and interesting: a lot of them have to do with sex. Whether it be "semen extraction," or breeding with aliens, or anal probes or whatever sex comes up over and over in these stories.
So let's parody it.
What if aliens were really just sex tourists? They come to Earth on alien spring break or alien mid life crisis or lonely insecure alien's journey to self-discovery or alien sex pervert's long weekend and just fuck around with Earth people. And your character is a favorite. She's into it! (or not)
This would just be an excuse to have episodic adventures involving weird alien lifeforms fucking your character and slowly ruining her whole life.
On grammar, syntax, etc.
Third-person past tense, please. You don't need to be perfect. I'm not perfect.
On availability, posting, and norms
Hit me up if you haven't heard from me in a week. If I don't get back to you, it's not because I hate you or your shit sucks, it's because I'm making an adobe hut or growing mushrooms or working a second job or screaming into the void.
On settings, themes, etc. (but mostly me)
I don't know if you've noticed, I have a sense of absurdity that I like to employ. That does not mean I cannot be serious in RP, but that in our personal interactions I will likely crack jokes 'n shit because that is who I am. I am... Kind of weird. IRL, I go along to get along, but here I can do pretty much whatever the fuck I want so sometimes that includes SCREAMING FOR NO REASON and gifs.
Oh, and it's really important to me that my partners feel comfortable talking to me. No jokes this time.
Your boundaries matter. You matter. At the end of the day, no one can take your dignity if you do not give it to them, but they will do their damnedest into tricking you into believing you have no dignity in the first place.
If you get nothing else from this hot fucking mess, please take a moment to reflect on the fact that you are uniquely you, there is no one else quite like you in the whole heckin' universe, and that you are imbued with a long train of experiences that make you fully distinct and separate from anyone else. You are intrinsically valuable if just for your distinction.
On fandoms
Generally not about 'em.
Your Ideas
If you think you have an idea that I might like, let me know. The worst I can do is say no thank you, and wish you the best of luck.
Or reveal that I'm the stranger who has been spray painting dicks on your bathroom ceiling. OR REVEAL THAT YOU'RE THE STRANGER WHO'S BEEN PAINTING DICKS ON MY BATHROOM CEILING MISTER WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I HAD A SKYLIGHT IN THERE BEFORE YOU DICKED IT.
Next Steps
Shoot me a PM.
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