Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

Partner Rapport

Seranda

Seranda

🎵 Fighting Evil By Moonlight 🎵
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Location
The House of Hades
I was just curious if anyone else had consideration for whatever rapport they have built with different partners. I know some who can end roleplaying abruptly and in quite bad terms, and less than a month later be playing with that same partner with similar or different results.

I am not one of those people. I remember names, avatars, and experiences, mostly how the playing ended. If you were someone who ghosted me, spoke down to me, simply didn't click with me, was constantly absent despite understanding that I wanted someone somewhat active, and our styles just didn't gel... I will most certainly not roleplay with you again. I suppose it depends on the send off.

If things are ever THAT BAD, those conversations end in a click of the ignore button. On the other hand, partners that I have experienced multiple times and can depend on, they are almost a guaranteed yes at the pitch of their idea, even if it's something I generally wouldn't be into. I know we can work well with each other, feed off of each other's strengths and make a good story out of anything. I only have a few, and I hope they know who they are because they're awesome and cool and I enjoy them.

How do you approach things like this? If I was a total cunt to you a year ago, would you try to RP with me today? Do you hold grudges? I do. There are certain people who I will never speak to again if I don't have to.

I like to give everyone a fair shot, but when your approach is "wanna rp?!" or you come off too arrogant or stand-offish, I simply do not have the time. Writing the stories is easy, finding the right partners is the challenge here.
 
Honestly, if I'm on bad terms with somebody I won't RP with them, either in the first place or again if they approach.

Bad terms is something I rarely consider myself in with anybody though, at least on my end. I do not hold grudges very much. Of course in some cases it's inevitable, and while not holding a grudge I can till remember a bad experience and not wish to repeat it. If you ghost me, I won't hold it against you, but I am less likely to start a story again because I was likely invested in it, I don't start stories I'm not invested in often, I currently enjoy all of my active ones and it would hurt. Why put myself through that risk again if it happened once, you know? I disagree on not starting another if you didn't 'click', that can be an easy fix, it could be the story or the characters that let you down, some plots just don't work for two people, it's worth another shot in that case, tentatively. Activity isn't something I judge anybody on either, if it's consistently low, I might not want another RP with them because I do find myself more invested in my active ones, but shit happens, people get busy and most partners will warn you if they are slow to post. Wouldn't take them on if I cared.

I have nobody on ignore to date, not met anybody on this site bad enough to have me do that in my eyes and fingers crossed that continues. I have met several partners I've enjoyed writing with, I hope to meet more.

If I like somebody as a person, I'm more likely to approach them to RP, so rapport is obviously important.
 
While I'm new here and have not yet had the opportunity to sample the waters, I've certainly RPed elsewhere and encountered some rather distressful occasions. I remember folks as well and I actively avoid engaging them again. I mean, we do this stuff for kicks mainly, so if someone's going to show me a hard time I'll point 'em at the door.
 
I never re-engage in a RP with someone that I previously made attempted RPs with, especially after some past events.

One chance, and that's it.
 
Personally, I don't mind giving people a second chance. However, I think it very much depends on the situation around what happened. How it ended. I have several partners I have reconnected with and RP with now, even if they did sort of poof on me at the time.

If someone drops an RP or doesn't make an effort to sort of keep me in the loop, I am far less likely to be as willing to try again. But.. People have real lives and events that they have to deal with and I honestly feel like their RP partners not being the first and foremost on their mind is more than acceptable. I know if I was going through something hard, I may not have the energy to reach out or feel like I owe anyone an explanation as to why I poofed.

I can't say I am big enough to not hold some things against others. I try not to, but I am human. If something rubbed me particularly the wrong way, I am not likely to budge and try again.
 
This is a fluid environment, and no one really deserves a reason for abandonment that resembles an invasive credit check. This is for certain.
 
If we fizzled out (especially if I ended it), I do want to try them again to see if we can find something more workable. I got on really well with someone, did a long RP, had a lot of OOC, got to know each other a little bit - Nothing weird. But I asked him about one of his recent posts, questioning a little bit of the reasoning behind it, so I could understand his and his character's point of view more clearly. He lost his shit. Called me every curse under the red moon, told me that he was tired of my condescendence and shit-don't-stink attitude, and then wished everyone in my family would die. It was fucking brutal. I cannot try to reconnect after that, though he did. I told him kindly to never speak to me again. Shame as he was a good writer, but not a nice person at all.

Another disappeared on me for over a year. Over two years. I was minding my own business here and he sent me a message. We didn't exactly click the same as we did before, and he said he's not roleplaying anymore because he's got a wife now and would be embarrassed. If he returned, and we tried to spark again, I would certainly give him the chance.

I also don't speak to people who insult you during a conversation then leave it and block you. It's cowardly and immature... like having the last word.

I have my select... and I'm not letting them go easily. They are the reason I enjoy this hobby and get to practice writing regularly. Doesn't mean we can't cross each other. And we'll take care of that if it ever comes to it. Though I hope not, I kinda like my Elite Four.
 
Seranda said:
If we fizzled out (especially if I ended it), I do want to try them again to see if we can find something more workable. I got on really well with someone, did a long RP, had a lot of OOC, got to know each other a little bit - Nothing weird. But I asked him about one of his recent posts, questioning a little bit of the reasoning behind it, so I could understand his and his character's point of view more clearly. He lost his shit. Called me every curse under the red moon, told me that he was tired of my condescendence and shit-don't-stink attitude, and then wished everyone in my family would die. It was fucking brutal. I cannot try to reconnect after that, though he did. I told him kindly to never speak to me again. Shame as he was a good writer, but not a nice person at all.

Another disappeared on me for over a year. Over two years. I was minding my own business here and he sent me a message. We didn't exactly click the same as we did before, and he said he's not roleplaying anymore because he's got a wife now and would be embarrassed. If he returned, and we tried to spark again, I would certainly give him the chance.
Click to expand...
On one...WTF?

On two...Yeah well, okay, but at least send some indication of intent. Jesus, if you're about to get married, it's not like you're a kid. Communicate.
 
I've had a couple of great partners of several years who drop on and offline, but we've developed great friendships that it doesn't bother me much. Generally life happens and we're all understanding enough to check in on each other. Then I've had others that ghost and pop back up like nothing has happened, which is a total pet peeve.

Communication goes a long way. I don't need to know what's going down with your business but be courteous. It takes a few minutes to drop someone a line to say you're unavailable for x amount of time or for the unforeseeable future. I respect that.

If RP doesn't click? Just say it. Talk about it. Try something new or graciously bow out.

Patterned behaviour is telling and if it's rubbing me the wrong way I'll decline any future adventures.
 
I need someone I can bounce ideas off and also has ideas of their own. I kind of see it as a "X Factor" meaning I can't really pin point too many traits or behaviours it's just more a case of feeling like it is right with this person. And if we start a RP and it isn't working we can openly discuss it and just start something else if we want to. It doesn't have that disposable factor that occurs with some people where you drop the RP and the partner.

I had a long term partner where we would do that all the time. Start ideas and if they didn't work we would move to something else. No big deal. But we also finished many stories too.

I am left totally disinterested in people who message me with "Wanna RP" and similar or people who take one of my ideas and change it to the point where my idea no longer exists or have missed the point of my concept altogether. I also hate it when I feel like I have to drag information out of people, "So what do you like about my idea, how do you see it working?" There should be a template for how to approach people!
 
Lady Irony said:
I am left totally disinterested in people who message me with "Wanna RP" and similar or people who take one of my ideas and change it to the point where my idea no longer exists or have missed the point of my concept altogether. I also hate it when I feel like I have to drag information out of people, "So what do you like about my idea, how do you see it working?" There should be a template for how to approach people!
Click to expand...
Same.
 
This is an interesting question.
A little disclaimer : currently 2:26 AM on my end and just got done preparing for an Economy test I am deathly afraid of flunking and failing the class, so I may ramble a lot.

I would say I get along great with all of my partners (or better yet, they are able to handle me and my quirks) so I never really had any issues on that front. Drama? Toxic behavior? Can't say I have ever experienced with the writers I have come into contact with since I came back to the site. However, there was indeed a time where I was trying to appease to people and what they expected of me, including putting aside some more of my time to dedicate to them.

The first "phase" of my RPing career started with Discord, but I quickly found out how let's say...peculiar people were there. I would tell my partners I wasn't feeling well/wasn't up to it/was heading to bed, and I received pings every other hour at times, or even within MINUTES of me not replying (seriously guys, you are amazing for letting me take my time and never complaining, I couldn't write as well without that reassurance). Needless to say, I would tell them that I couldn't go on, and went our separate ways.

I ghosted, yes, but it was only when:
a)Guy/Gal decided to get overly personal and wouldn't take "no" or "I'm busy at the moment, but will reply when I have time" for an answer. Even after I explained it to them, they would go "Huh? What did I do?". Luckily, blocking is a wonderful feature I took great pleasure in using when I kept getting bombarded with notifications.
b)People pretended I get up at a certain time just so that they could get off to my writing, then berate me for how long I had kept them waiting and that there was no point in keeping up with this.
c)My partner kept trying to go around my limits, edit or delete replies if I showed any hint of dislike towards what they had done, then act like nothing hapened. This happened more than once and I still felt a profound dislike for it.

However, I never blame people for ghosting, or even being unable to reply for that matter. I make it very clear when leaving their PMs that I am always up for a discussion or picking back up from where we left off. Sometimes I get a really strong craving for a particular idea and then it may... disappear as fast as it came around.

However, if I sent an opener and never got a response, or even got through the process of putting together an intro I never got a reply to despite doing as I was told....then yeah, I tend to be more reserved. I get that not replying feels easier to do compared to turning someone down, but for some folks, it may even undermine their self-esteem as they may doubt their skill, or whether or not they are likeable enough to those who write on here. I am sure that they'd be content with even a single-line explanation rather than complete radio silence.

Overall, I am tired, hungry and worried. I only hope to wake up to see whether or not this got more folks to share their stories. See ya.
 
BlooBlanket said:
This is an interesting question.
A little disclaimer : currently 2:26 AM on my end and just got done preparing for an Economy test I am deathly afraid of flunking and failing the class, so I may ramble a lot.

Overall, I am tired, hungry and worried. I only hope to wake up to see whether or not this got more folks to share their stories. See ya.
Click to expand...
You have it all going on. Big hopes on your test. Economics is tough, but it's the science of historical perspective. I'm sure you'll do well.
 
BlooBlanket said:
a)Guy/Gal decided to get overly personal and wouldn't take "no" or "I'm busy at the moment, but will reply when I have time" for an answer. Even after I explained it to them, they would go "Huh? What did I do?". Luckily, blocking is a wonderful feature I took great pleasure in using when I kept getting bombarded with notifications.
b)People pretended I get up at a certain time just so that they could get off to my writing, then berate me for how long I had kept them waiting and that there was no point in keeping up with this.
c)My partner kept trying to go around my limits, edit or delete replies if I showed any hint of dislike towards what they had done, then act like nothing hapened. This happened more than once and I still felt a profound dislike for it.
Click to expand...

These can be particularly frustrating, though thankfully I have been blessed with most of the partners I have had/have right now.

A and B: This is something I really hate and I don't roleplay on Discord because of things like this. It's a place of urgency, character limit will limit longer posts while the instant nature of it leads me to believe (perhaps wrongly, this is just an opinion I hold and not a fact) that most roleplayers on Discord are looking for fast back and forth replies that I just don't want to do. I'm not here to get off or get anybody off, I am here for the writing and while it can be very arousing and enjoyable in that regard, that isn't my role in this. If somebody isn't willing to wait for my post because they want porn, they should subscribe to my onlyfans.

C: That's how you end a roleplay. Limits are limits, they aren't negotiable more often than not, they aren't a challenge to be overcome, they are things one doesn't want to write about. Trying to go around that is selfish in the extreme. Soft limits or maybes I can understand but even that requires discussion, not subversion.

Interracial Playah said:
On two...Yeah well, okay, but at least send some indication of intent. Jesus, if you're about to get married, it's not like you're a kid. Communicate.
Click to expand...

In this, I can understand. If you're a friend I made on here of course you will be in the loop but if you're a writing partner and something significant is happening in my life that demands my attention, it's going to be 50/50 whether I even consider you. I know that sounds mean, our writing partners are people too and should be treated as such, but this is a hobby, massive life changes might just remove all thought of writing a post or even messaging to let somebody know out of your mind completely and I don't like to judge people for that one. You never know what they were thinking at the time, you know?
 
Staine said:
These can be particularly frustrating, though thankfully I have been blessed with most of the partners I have had/have right now.

A and B: This is something I really hate and I don't roleplay on Discord because of things like this. It's a place of urgency, character limit will limit longer posts while the instant nature of it leads me to believe (perhaps wrongly, this is just an opinion I hold and not a fact) that most roleplayers on Discord are looking for fast back and forth replies that I just don't want to do. I'm not here to get off or get anybody off, I am here for the writing and while it can be very arousing and enjoyable in that regard, that isn't my role in this. If somebody isn't willing to wait for my post because they want porn, they should subscribe to my onlyfans.

C: That's how you end a roleplay. Limits are limits, they aren't negotiable more often than not, they aren't a challenge to be overcome, they are things one doesn't want to write about. Trying to go around that is selfish in the extreme. Soft limits or maybes I can understand but even that requires discussion, not subversion.



In this, I can understand. If you're a friend I made on here of course you will be in the loop but if you're a writing partner and something significant is happening in my life that demands my attention, it's going to be 50/50 whether I even consider you. I know that sounds mean, our writing partners are people too and should be treated as such, but this is a hobby, massive life changes might just remove all thought of writing a post or even messaging to let somebody know out of your mind completely and I don't like to judge people for that one. You never know what they were thinking at the time, you know?
Click to expand...
Unless it's a sudden move, your house burned down, or you lost internet forever, it really doesn't take too much to jot a note, especially on your phone. Just to have the courtesy to tell people that I'm not going to be around for a while or something like that. I can't even think of a situation where I wouldn't let partners know. Yes, this is a hobby, and that is why it's important to communicate. People are looking to your writing for entertainment and escape. This isn't a throwaway thing to me.

But that's just me. Sometimes you really can be too busy to even post an update on your phone I suppose.
 
And that's all I'm saying. I think it is courtesy, and being courteous often costs very little so I would try, but not knowing what they were thinking, it is sometimes hard to even think about these things. I don't believe it has to be an emergency to push thoughts out of your head, and BMR or whatever site it was at the time might simply have not crossed their mind. I don't think it makes them a bad person or even inconsiderate, just human. When I get sick, it may not incapacitate me completely but this place isn't often on my mind you know? It isn't that I'm too busy, I just might not even think of it.
 
Partner rapport is very important. I try to openly communicate with partners, potential partners and former partners without ghosting or leaving the conversation. Very rarely I come into situations where someone messes up so much that if they do not realize why I left the conversation they are pretty dense. When I have been disrespected so much that I just do not even care to try and say goodbye, but just want to move on. I think sometimes people say and do things with online people they never would in real life. Some of that comes down to not having to really look someone in the eye before you say or do something. In some ways that is good and bad. But partners are people too and some things, just are not done.
 
Nera9948 said:
Partner rapport is very important. I try to openly communicate with partners, potential partners and former partners without ghosting or leaving the conversation. Very rarely I come into situations where someone messes up so much that if they do not realize why I left the conversation they are pretty dense. When I have been disrespected so much that I just do not even care to try and say goodbye, but just want to move on. I think sometimes people say and do things with online people they never would in real life. Some of that comes down to not having to really look someone in the eye before you say or do something. In some ways that is good and bad. But partners are people too and some things, just are not done.
Click to expand...
+1 from me!
 
Seranda said:
This isn't a throwaway thing to me.
Click to expand...
It is for some people (or a lot in my experience), sadly enough.

Not only that but I stopped trusting the "I'll be busy for x many days.", especially when seeing people still coming on daily and for hours at a time, talking and replying to other rp's/bumping their RTs.
 
Last edited:
I've had my slew of rp drama back in the days when themed roleplay forums were a thing. Moderation team drama is always the icing on the cake, and there were quite a few people from that era that I wouldn't touch with a stick. Others? Yeah, if they popped out of nowhere, I'd probably give it a try - they might have done me wrong, but I reckon I did them wrong too, and it's been many, many years. We're practically not the same people anymore anyway, or at least I'm not.

Me and my current rp partner, we've got our moments too. But my rp partner is also my real life partner, so it's different I guess, we live together and everything. We talk. We solve stuff. Then we try again. Or take a step back for a while. We write very, very long plot heavy stories, and with that kind of collaboration you're pretty much destined to run into disagreements at some point or another. Or you test your limits and discover them and have to reassess.

It's been just me and my partner roleplaying for nearly five years now, I'm so rusty when it comes to interacting with other people, even though I'm searching for more. But yeah, if any of my old rp buddies were to approach me I'd totally be game, even with the ones I parted way with in the worst of ways.
 
It depends on how you view collaborative writing/roleplay. I see it as a hobby that I enjoy with others.

Its rare that I wouldn’t re-start something up with someone that I enjoyed writing with before. Its not even about giving second chances. Just that I like to write and I enjoy what someone can create with me.

However, people being rude, or those who blur lines or do not respect the boundaries of ons&offs are the sort of people I never write with again.

Ghosting happens. And if someone singles me out compared to their other partners? Well then clearly they’re not interested and I’ll just leave them be. If they approach me again, I’ll just decline without making a big fuss about it.

Live and let live. In the end, those you click with are always the ones who last the longest, and always the ones you welcome back even if they spend years away.
 
Not sure if this comes under partner rapport or just being a good role player but when I write a post I almost always try and leave something for my partner to bounce off. Like in a conversation and you leave off with open ended questions or reveal a little more than you really have to about yourself so the person you are speaking to if so inclined can pick up on something and it allows the discussion to continue.

Another factor is God Modding. When you have good rapport with someone you can God Mod - a little. Just to keep the story rolling, like maybe it is obvious their character will enter the room, they kind of have to, to allow what comes next to occur. With a good partner you can place their character in that room to allow your post to be better which in turn helps them write their response.

When you have that rapport you can "break the rules" in a respectful and intelligent way.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom